I've gotta post this quickly since it's a Saturday night and the sports news this evening is not good (and I'm not talking about Oklahoma's toppling to Missouri). Take it away, Mr. LA Sports Czar:
Paul 73 (4-2) - MLASF 72 (1-5): The less said about this game the better.
Spanky 96 (2-4) - Dusty Baker 81 (5-1): Spanky pulls the unlikely upset and delivers the first loss to Dusty. Drew Brees gave 20 points, Brandon Jacobs added 15, and kicker Rob Bironas threw in 12 for the Spankster. Dusty received 21 points from Arian Foster, 18 from Peyton Manning, and 14 from Roy Williams, but a combined 18 from the rest of his men.
Meaniebreanie 94 (3-3) - NicJ 76 (2-4): Nic gets his fourth straight loss while MB moves back to .500. Ryan Torain led the way for MB with 22 points, followed by 20 points from Tony Romo and 16 from the Steeler defense. Nic saw 18 points from LaDainian Tomlinson go in vain.
Prof. Dittmore 111 (4-2) - Jason 75 (1-5): Nothing goes right for Jason again as the Professor delivers a sound beating. A monster game from Jeremy Maclin (27 points) and a strong showing from Aaron Rodgers (21 points) led the way for P. Ditty. Jason had 19 points from both Joe Flacco and Chris Johnson go for naught.
Karina 85 (5-1) - Mr. Customer 65 (3-3): Karina continues to dominate the pack, taking the lead in the western division. 14 points from Ahmad Bradshaw, 12 points from Brandon Marshall and Jason Hanson, and 13 points from Adrian Peterson helped her cause. Mr. C falls to .500 despite 16 points from Steven Jackson and 14 points from Kyle Orton.
Week 7 pits Karina against MLASF, Nic against Spanky, MB against Jason, Paul against Dusty, and Mr. C against the Professor.Here's last week's action to get you caught up.
504 comments:
1 – 200 of 504 Newer› Newest»This will also serve as my telling RBN that I hope Arsenal only manage a draw this morning against Manchester City, but that my fantasy players from both teams do well thread.
This will also serve as my what on earth is this strange game of base ball of which you speak thread.
Finally, it will also serve as my fuck me I wish MDIL would hurry up with my coffee thread.
SMACK
(cries)
*puts on MegaHat*
*runs out the front door nekked*
Smack
If I lose today it's going to be a fire sale. Everything must go.
@Mr LASC don't cry, mah dahlin'. Let's wait for our game to start, don't you think?
It's a luck I'm so busy today that I won't have time to worry 'till tonight.
Did you consider using the alternate spelling for Czar, former-MLASF? "Tsar" would make you MLAST.
@ the czar
ESG is on the block. I'll just give him to you. Please.
I am aware of how appropriate MLAST would be. But I prefer MLASC.
I miss the good ol' Mr LASF moniker :(
I miss Neeebs' mom cooking me breakfast.
Your boy Hillis better get me some points, Dusty, or we'll be taking a trip to the glue factory.
And he won't get to come.
If Gates comes up lame again today, it's going to be a tough go.
Hillis has a thigh injury that's slowing him down, no?
Worse than glue factory: send him back to Conway, AR. [I apologize in advance to Small Sample Size for that comment]
WTF is up w fantasycast scorer thingy? Games are in play but not showing up.
What's up with Cincy/ATL? I've got two heavy hitters in that game.
Exactly what I meant. I think I have a TD from that game. I want two TDs. Heh.
Also the league smack thingy is not working.
Fine...I'll use this space.
Dammit, Roddy White has 64 yards already. Update, ESPN, update!
Hillis TD! Hooray for Arkansas!
They seem just not to have at least one game "turned on." That's ok, I only counted on staring at the fatnasycast doohickey as the high point of my weekend - no, WEEK - and my only source of joy.
(cries)
Wampus Cats up in dis bish!
Damn, I'm getting nice games out of my guys today. Where the hell was this the last six weeks?
1 play for Ward and then they take him out. Assholes.
CIN/ATL is going, but the stats haven't been entered yet.
ESPN just turned that game on, but no points yet.
DAMMIT!
I have a feeling I'm going to get boat-raced by the professor today.
Currently Jason and I are projected at 100 each. It's gonna be a fight to the finish.
FUCKING ESPN UPDATE THE FUCKING GAME ALREADY FUCK I NEED THOSE FUCKING POINTS
I want my fuckin points!
DAMMIT!
Come on Nawlins'
MB wonders if ESPN took our smackboard away because we broke the profanity filter.
@#$%^!
There are my mufukkin points!
I'm still waiting for my point from the damn kicker.
Do you feel like you've been kicked in the nads, MLASC?
Whoa Czar, you are spanking me!
I need an MJD TD to really set me up well.
TD MJD!!!
Karina said "Whoa Czar, you are spanking me!"
*makes creative note for my next session with the dominatrix*
Good thing I did not pick up Kerry Collins. He's a mess.
I can't believe I only have 3 points from my Saint offense.
How the hell are the Bills lighting up the Ravens' D?
TOUCHDOWN RODDY WHITE!!!
I smell points
Sad...I just saw that KFC ad that brings each letter of "sogood" onto the screen at the end...and my mind immediately went to "sosgood" instead. Maybe the Sons should bite this ad campaign and use it as their own.
I feel uncomfortable sitting down, I think I'm flat now :(
I HATE BREES
60 Minutes?
(cries)
TOUCHDOWN THOMAS JONES!!!
I won last week???
Just on principal why don't I have David Guinness on my team?
I was in the kitchen came back and saw that the Steelers defense lost 2 points. Does anyone know what happened?
This hurts.
@Spanky "I can't believe I only have 3 points from my Saint offense."
yeah, that's why I dropped them :(
Do you have a safe word, Karina?
I'm gonna need MONSTROUS performances by my BFF Peterson, Bradshaw and Hasselbeck
Karina - keep the faith. As you always say "it ain't over till it's over". Besides you still have 5 players yet to play.
what do you mean with a safe word, Dusty?
Why is everyone rooting for Karina? I'M FUCKING 1-5 I'M THE UNDERDOG HERE
DB are you going to explain safe word to Karina? You know you will be shredding more of her innocence.
Mr. LASC
You misconstrue encouragement for taking sides. I'm happy if either of you wins.
Nobody offers me words of encouragement.
Thanx Karina.
Mr. LASC
I hope your team continues to kick ass! ;~))
Thank you, MB!
@MB
I guess I walked into that innocence buzzsaw, didn't I?
DB - Yes you did. You are on your own to do the splaining on that one.
^MB has whip in hand to ensure compliance.
I <3 Brees
how are the Bills going to blow this one?
by giving up way too many points to a team that isn't very good offensively
WTF? How does a defense continue to lose points? Splain that one.
I am sick of Bumble and Bumble (Dierdorf) suckling the Steeler man teat
@Karina
"A safe word is a word or phrase that either partner can say when a sexual situation gets too uncomfortable to continue."
So, this also applies to a total ass-whuppin' in fantasy football.
They give up special team points MB. I had -6 defense points a couple weeks ago.
It sucks cuz this defense has consistently done well until this week.
-2 points for Brees. I love this guy!
Ryan Torain and Terrell Owens are both sucking for air today.
@LASCzar "Why is everyone rooting for Karina?"
because you have the wits but I have the charm and I've got bonus points because I'm a girl!
@Spanky oh, I read it wrong. I dropped the Saints Defense, not the offense. Anyhow, you have a shot at winning.
How are some people able to talk on the league smack board but I cannot? (actually, if that was a conscious decision on someone's part, it was probably an idea with merit)?
@Dusty Baker whoa! did you hear that sound? it's my innocence leaving!
Spank
Brees and his wife just had another baby. The guy is probably major league sleep deprived.
@MB
That's no excuse for him. Get a friggi' nanny and man up!
@karina
I do what I can.
DB
That smackboard is a piece of crap. It does that to me every Sunday
Mr LASCzar, I never thought I'd have a safe word with you, but I decided it's gonna be "55".
So,
FIFTY FIVE, FIFTY FIVE, FIFTY FIVE!
MB
I figured it would make you play better.
DB valid point. I was just sayin....
@Karina, hope you don't feel like I was taking sides. MB should keep her mouth shut, pack up, and move to Switzerland. Truly though, I support all my fellow league members (except when they are playing me).
@Meaniebreanie don't sweat my pet, we're sisters from a lost mother!
karina, are you an Urkel fan?
*applauds*
nice work Bills. It's difficult to give up 10 points in 33 seconds, but if anybody can do it, you can.
Dierdorf and Gumbel have put the kiss of death on the Steelers defense. The minute they said they were the best in the league they began a rapid descent.
I made the most fucked up decision of all time.
good lord, what a team!
@Spanks did you mix Steel Reserve and absinthe?
Is that Jason Schmidt in that Southwest.com ad?
Heh...that's funny as shit FB. Steel Reserve and absinthe.
I could only have wished,Freddie B.
MLASC- You're taunting me on the league smack board, and I can make no retort! I feel so inferior.
*has lunch by self in jr high cafeteria*
FB, Spanks - shudders at the thought of that combo. Absinthe, Pernod, Sambuca or anything else along that line is deadly enough. There are still percentage limits on the absinthe that filters into the US. You are not getting "true strength".
it reminds me if that Bad Idea Jeans ad on Saturday Night Live in the 80s:
"So you didn't use a condom?"
"Nah. I said to myself, 'When am I ever gonna bee in Haiti again?'"
BAD IDEA
@MB re absinthe.
True. That's why I just double my absinthe intake to make up for the puritanical import restrictions.
DB, you're not alone. I am the other outcast. Unlike you, I am not in the cafeteria. I fled campus at any given opportunity.
*smokes skunk weed behind gym*
@MB very true!
A friend of mine worked with a lady from England. She got canned and had to move back in a hurry. She couldnt take all of her stuff so she gave him all of her liquor, including a half bottle of absinthe from the Czech Republic. That was a fun new years. I have never felt so squirrely on liquor
In a few days I will be at The Old Absinthe House. I may have to have one there for posterity's sake. I'll order a double and salute you DB.
*pops in Cypress Hill tape*
order a double and mail it to me, MB!
Cheers, MB.
As I think I stated before, I've been under the table at that fine establishment a number of times.
*Out cruising, drinking, and smoking good weed. Left Dusty behind the gym ;~)
because you knew the Bills D was so stout!
Insane in the membrane, indeed.
CHEATERS!!!!
@MB
Did you order a large soda from sonic, drink it down a bit, then mix in bottom shelf liquor, southern high school style?
*takes out glass bong and throws it to the ground*
somewhere, Josh Howard is crying, and he has no idea why
@DB who didn't? Remember experimenting with the really good stuff such as Southern Comfort, Bacardi 151, Everclear, and other wonderful combo's? Betty Crocker here pulled out drink recipes from her parents bar stash and would mix em. She did a pretty good job at following recipes. At least her siblings and delinquent friends thought so.
@FB isn't there a place in Brooklyn that serves Absinthe from a proper drip?
DB - Old Absinthe House probably does not serve it in the proper manner if they truly serve it at all. I never saw any drips but then again I may have been under the bar as well ;~)
those are my Bills
No, the OAH doesn't serve absinthe. I just meant I had been overserved there on numerous occasions.
I just threw up in my mind when you mentioned Southern Comfort. Gack.
Our more popular mix was 7 and 7 then driving around town repeatedly. Took about 5 minutes end to end.
OAH is such a dive. How much you enjoy it depends on the state you are in when you enter it :~)
Who knew? I've starved and worked out LOTS so I can change my latina configuration. A day of fantasy football with the Czar and I'm all flat! thank you, Czar!
however,
FIFTY FIVE!
"so I can change my latina configuration."
I love it when you say stuff like that, Karina.
I'm getting all fucked up just reading this Booze thread.
Karina, it is not a badge of honor to be flat.
@DB - Jack Daniels and Coke or Wild Turkey and Coke. That was high school southern style. Luckily our drag was a little larger than yours.
@Meaniebreanie @Dusty Baker my dad made my first drinks, to my mother's chagrin.
His excuse was that since I'm a girl, it was crucial I learned to hold my drinking.He said it was very useful knowledge for life, you know, like learning English ;)
I like how you capitalized "Booze" in that sentence, Spanky.
@MB yeah you can find it here and there, although I don't know if they do the spoon or flaming sugar cube dealie. It might be a fire hazard :)
Czar is 81, I'm 18
Wild Turkey! Absolutely! I actually almost bought a jug of the stuff yesterday but went with the Maker's Mark instead. #adulthood
I once had a Wild Turkey on the rocks with the good Doctor Hunter S. Thompson, I'm proud to say.
I've never had absinthe, but i am willing to try.
@FB
Resident pyro Josh is going to show up now that you mentioned that.
that's awesome, DB. Where was that?
@Karina
Your dad is a very wise man.
Don't sweat the score. You still have quite a few to play. Right now Jason has me 59 to 20. He has 2 yet to play and I have 6. It's still somewhat early. Time is going to tell for the sistah's.
@Dusty Baker *blushes* it's one of my heart's desires :(
@Meaniebreanie do you think so? I'd be proud to have that badge :(
@Meaniebreanie he is! and he's a gentleman and I got very lucky to have him as my father.
Go sistah! we don't surrender!
mmm Wild Turkey. Still love it but haven't had it in ages.
DB, that is so you having WT with Thompson. I can totally see it. My claim to fame is drinking Jack Daniels with the late great Stevie Ray Vaughan. He loved his JD!
@Spank
Unless you like licorice you are not going to like Absinthe.
@FB
It was on the Clinton/Gore campaign in Little Rock in 1992. The man had a friggin' dufflebag full of ice with him (carried by his assistant, no doubt).
Holy Shit! I want to make sweet, sweet love to MeanieBreanie.
No offense MB. SRV is da man.
I spoke too soon. Terrell is showing signs of life.
@MLASC
You're killing me on the smack board, brother! I surrender! 55! 55!
@DB ice the drug?
@Spank
SRV was a regular act at a club I used to work at before he shot to fame. I felt priviledged to get to know him a bit. Despite how he was on stage he was shy and quiet. I have never seen anyone wail on a guitar held behind their back the way he did (except for clips of Mr. Jimi Hendrix).
@FB
No, ice the critical ingredient for WT on the rocks with a twist of lime.
haha no shit? was it special ice?
@FB
No, it was just ice that he'd pilfered from his hotel's ice machine and thrown into a non-wterproof dufflebag, which was by that time leaking all over the place.
@ MB
El Mocambo?
Fred's Brim "@DB ice the drug?"
hahahahahahahahahaha, SoSG readers: best lecturers at University of Life.
I had no idea of this *sigh*
hahahahahahaha
Stay away from that shit. Half my fucking valley are zombies because of that drug.
No, Reeds Red Derby in San Antonio. It was restaurant by day amd mostly bar at night. It no longer exists. Surprise, I was underage and worked there during high school. I took cover charge as you entered. SRV was living in Austin at the time. He was rotating between SA and clubs on the 6th Street scene.
Now I'm getting worried. Jason has got me 72 - 20.
You need a big game from your homeboys MB. I need a big game from Brandon Jacobs against them.
My game with Daddy Paul is way too close for comfort.
"Hey you dang woodchucks, quit chuckin' my wood!"
Why does that commercial make me laugh every single time?
@Meaniebreanie I'm 20-85 with the Czar
55!
This Bears v Skins game is disgusting. Just when I start thinking, "This is a good game!" I remember that it is a shitty game being played between two mediocre-to-shitty teams, which does not translate to it being an actual good game.
WOO HOO RODDY WHITE
@Karina
Since when do the men listen to us anyway?
Ravens get the pick, and White gets a 2-point conversion!
55!
Did you say something, MB?
;-)
Damn, so close to being returned for a touchdown.
Russell Martin!
OMG, Steelers defense keeps going down. They now have a whopping 2 points.
(cries)
I told NicJ to leave Kenny Britt in his starting lineup because Britt was going to have a big game. He did not listen to me. Britt has 26 points!
Good god, I scored all my points two weeks ago, now I can't buy 'em
Hello Mr. C, welcome to the melee.
^FLAUTIST
Guys, it took you long to realize my son reference.
Czar 99-kari 22
:(
It says Peyton Hillis pass complete to Colt McCoy. That can't be right.
I was slow on the uptake but I finally got it, Karina! What's my prize?
it's a little know fact that duffelbag ice is the best tasting ice
Jamaal Charles representin' you go boy!
@Dusty Baker I don't know :(
no respect for the high-falutin' falutist!
Hey, MB. Looks like sub-500 for me, unless my backs get a second wind.
55!
@FB
Also, acquired hotel glasses make the best cocktails.
Mr. C , if I lose this week I will be right there with you.
^ rapists, not racists (that I know of)
@Karina
I'll take a spankin' for my prize.
FUMBLE, muhfuckaz!
no doubt, DB. Wine in plastic hotel cups is also quite tasty!
Uncle, uncle, MLASC! Uncle!
Damn, McNabb just got smacked harder than Strahan does to him in that commercial.
yet another week with an injury.
thats like 6 in a row.
I don't do spanking, Dusty. Specially after today!
stupidass refs with their quickass whistles!!!!
Dolphins got screwed.
Spanky does spanking.
A group just went by protesting recent anti-homosexual violence here. I am not sure why they are going down my street, but still.
One guy had a sign that said (karina look away) "Fists are for fisting"
It was established early on that Spanky loves to get spanked.
FB, that is hilarious
I need a Brees to Moore Combo touchdown Right Fucking Now!
Fuck that! Brees to Colston FOR ONCE!
what about
"Blow with your mouth, not with your fists"
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