Tommy Hunter (0-1, 4.50) vs. A.J. Burnett (if Joe Girardi doesn't come to his senses).
COMMENTS: Just think — if the Texas bullpen hadn't coughed up five runs in Game 1 of the ALCS, the Rangers would be looking at a sweep of the Yankees tonight. Regardless, Tommy Hunter (who?) goes up against a Yankees offense hungrier than Joey Chestnut at a tapas bar. If the Rangers shut the Yankees down again, expect jeers in New York and cheers in Philly. And cheesesteaks. I prefer Jim's.
After Texas started pulling away last night, did you notice the New York "faithful" deserting the stadium last night faster than lemmings off the Titanic? And on national TV? During prime time? Yet that won't besmirch the sterling reputation of Yankees fans. Assholes.
photo by Mark Humphrey/AP
295 comments:
1 – 200 of 295 Newer› Newest»The first game of the day was entirely unsatisfactory. Let's hope the Rangers can do some damage.
So strange. I don't hate both teams playing. I only hate one. How can this be?
Break time. Will return for Game Two.
Hey guys, what's up?
GIRARDI: Hey A.J., how'd you like to pitch in Game 4?
BURNETT: Joe, I'd love it!
GIRARDI: Well that's too bad, because you suck, you get into hissy fits with one of the greatest catchers of all time, and you look like you should be closing games for the Giants. Hit the pine.
(dream sequence ends)
BOB NEWHART: Honey, you won't believe the dream I just had!
You're Bob Newhart?
I've said it before and I'll say it again: Burnett is a Kaminoan.
@Mr F - I'm just stating how highly unlikely it is that Girardi comes to his senses and sits Burnett.
This yer boy, rbn.
Deuces.
Fuck! I have to wait 32 minutes for some more baseball?
Y'know, I've been thinking, the Yankees aren't so bad.
KIDDING!
Put down the broken beer bottles.
Heyman reports Lilly 3 years/$33M.
Starting with A.J. Burnett's, probably.
Looks like everyone got tapped out on the Gnats game
Another pitching duel?
A.J. Burnett?
3/33? Eeeehhh.
BEAN THE MOFO
Cano HR. I think we'll have a review.
Instant Replay on that homer
3/$33 will look reasonable by April.
No IR???
Robinson Canody Ross?
Why have the rule if they are not going to use it. fucking idiots
Bud Selig still gets 40 rods to the hog's head and that's the way he likes it.
Hells no!
Wow, Berkman just crushed that one. 2-0 NYY
That's fucking foul
HaHaHa no Homerun for you Berkmutt
Awww, no HR. Poor Berky.
Too bad MOFO
Lurk Berkman
Burnett plunks Molina!
I don't get AL teams that bunt.
It's for nostalgia.
Come on Ebonic Andrews
Tied it up
Nice D by Teixeira prevents second run from scoring. 1-1 tie.
A-Rod triple clutch! 2-1 TEX
More runs baby
FUCK YOU YANKMES
Brett Gardner = East Coast MSB
Miller and Morgan were really arguing about the Cano HR. miller said it was worth reviewing. Morgan "just knew" it was a home run.
Ass.
You know the saying NY...Don't mess with Texas!!
Epale, Everyone!
It's nice to be able to relax and enjoy a game these days
Hey Karen
Joe Morgan. What a joke.
Yo Karen! Hopefully this game won't be as frustrating as the earlier one.
JETERGASM
Jeter can eat Caca
That triple just cured some kid's cancer. True story.
nice, Mr. F
Granderson RBI makes it 2-2.
FUCKYOUJETER
Spanky, your microwave must have extra grit and hustle.
The architects "just knew" the Titanic was unsinkable.
Scientists "just knew" the Hindenberg would not collapse.
Secret Service "just knew" nobody would try to kill Lincoln, McKinley, or Kennedy.
@Orel--The way things are going, it remains to be seen
Balk!
Fucking alarm went off and shit. there must have been moisture up in that bish
Damn, Spanky.
It's a conspiracy.
This is what happens when you trust a pitcher named Tommy.
C'mon Vlad, it's time for you to do something
FUCK YOU ACT II
Orvilles came out Wonderful though
Interference!
Wait. NO
A-Rod was just faking that HBP.
A-Roid gets nailed!! YAY
Yuck. Davey Johnson.
Mike Maddux-The other brother
Epale Y'all
Looks like tonight will be another spitting, nail picking, nail biting, crotch scratcher.
GO RANGERS!
Hey Breanie
Hear the bat go Swish
Hello MeanieBreanie!
I want to punch Berkmutt in the face
Epale, Meanie!
Epale Karen - How are you and Dusty Blue?
Now THAT'S a gun!
Lancefuck maning berk.
Oh NO! The bullpen.
Wait. This ain't the Dodgers
Let the crotch scratching commence!
Meanie--It's raining here and Dusty Blue is not happy. He doesn't like having to go out to potty when it's wet outside. He loves the snow, but hates the rain :(
Those friggin Yankme bastards. I knew they would not take last night's loss lying down. TX definitely has work to do.
@Karen - poor Dusty. My dogs are weird they love rain. To them it's a party. They have a covered patio but I have to make them come in.
Damn, Could have been worse though.
Great play at 3rd!
Meanie--Has Nikita ever been in the snow? Dusty will dig deep holes in the snow and stick his head in them!
They need to put some Elmer's in those bats.
@Karen
Yes, when I lived in Dallas we were good for it at least once a year if not several times. She loved it! She would play and sleep in it. Baron on the other hand would just look at me like "Oh mom, do I have to go out". She may be lucky if she sees it again in her lifetime. SA has not had any snow since 1984.
I hate seeing good camera equipment get wrecked, but that's a cool shot.
Moreland? More like.... less... water.
Yeah.
Elvis on da base.
Mr.F is on fire.
Ebonic Andrews
Ebonics Shawn Green, Ebonics Mercedes Lewis, Ebonics Elvis Andrews. How many other athletes have Ebonics names?
I thought Mercedes Lewis was a transvestite.
Ebonics BenJarvus Green-Ellis but whose complaining? He won a game for me. The best one though is Orangejello (pronounced Orangelo) A nurse at Parkland claimed a woman named her son that cuz she saw the name on a box and liked it.
It's actually spelled "Marcedes."
SpankJarvus. I like the sound of that
That fan is retarded
Alright, Hamilton, if you get a hit here, I'll treat you to a nice non-alcoholic beer.
HaHa Gardener. It's not fun when fans get in your way, is it??
Exactly Mlasf. Marcedes=Mercedes
Tranny
Gameday calls that pitch a knuckle-curve. Do people still throw knuckle-curves?
That was no good
Argh, you suck Hamilton. Go back to rehab with Belly.
Damnit! Come on guys!
Holland looks like he's maybe 14
Hit Jeter in the face!
Jeter's mashing tonite =(
You see. Hitting Jeter in the face would have been more satisfying. Like a snicker.
Elvis looks ecstatic that Jeter is on his base. WTF?
C'mon Holland. Sack up!
The other brother.
Take a drink Y'all
Jeter doubles! In related news, a starving third world village gets a Dharma Initative supply box parachuted to them. Dharma beer for all!
Ahhhh, poor Markie!!!!
That's a shame
I hate the Yankees but cannot hate Texeira. He is an ex-Ranger, did a good job, and seemed like a down to earth guy. On the other hand the hate for A-Rod floweth over.
This inning is taking fucking long
Fuck yeah Josh
A-Rod inning-ending DP. How unJeteresque.
Clutch GIDP!
It's raining men.
No, wait, it's just raining.
Yeah, well not anymore it ain't.
Karen and I wish it were raining men ;~)
Seems like you minx need a fucking monsoon
I have no idea what a minx is.
Come on Rangers, where is that hitting mojo you had last night?
Minx: pert, flirtatious, or impudent young woman
Kinda like a Lynx Mr.F only with a M and an I
Alright Rangers, RISP
@Spank
A monsoon of unmarried men
LASF
I guess that would be an accurate description except the young part.
GGGOOONNNEEEE!!!!
BENGIE
Rangers have their hitting mojo back - YEAH!
It's all about the Bengie!!
Bronx Cheer for Yankmes
Hooray for Bengie Molina!
I like Spanky's definition.
The "I'm sorry I was a Giant" Tour rolls on!
Gozer was a nimble little minx.
Now I've got that fucking song in my head
A black fly gets in the house and finds its way to my Sauvignon Blanc. Isn't it ironic don't you think?
Did you still drink it is what i am wondering
It's like raining men on your wedding day!
There wasn't much left. I tossed it and poured a fresh one. Do you really think I would drink something with a fly in it?
No. Maybe.If you're buzzed enough,Yes.
They need to put papier mache on dem bats.
Lots of thunder and lightning.
Mr. F
If only I knew now what I didn't know then. I got married at a hotel. I was in my wedding dress riding down the elevator with my dad and a hot guy riding with us. He looks at me and says "I have a limo out front, it's not too late" Dad looked at him and said "Are you kidding? I've waited a long time to get rid of her". I wish I would have taken the limo :~)
Boone Logan? Who?
wooot!!
ANOTHERHOMERUNMOFO'S
Another one for Texas - Yee Haw!
Sounds like a movie, MB.
Wow, MB. True story?
Texas/San Francisco World Series!
(cries)
Non-alcoholic beer for all!!!
Orel, more like a really bad soap opera.
It's mighty quiet at Yankme Stadium
Yes, true story!
Philly will beat SF, MR.LASF.
Does it ever bother you that you have an "SF" in your name?
Well, I guess only in abbreviations. I'll stop abbreviating your name, Mr. LA Sports Guy.
Wilton's brother keeps it going!
Vlade corrale Holmes
Meanie--Another thing we have in common...a soap opera marriage
What's that, Mr F?
Karen and I
Sisters from another mother
LASF
Would it really be such a horrible thing to pull for TX in a WS?
score til they bleed!
MOREFUCKINGRUNSMOFO'S
You already know Texas is the only team I can root for in this whole mess.
Nice one, MR.LASG.
I'm going to call you that from now on, even if your official handle is "Mr. LA Sports Fan."
I don't want to type out "SF" on a Dodger guy's name.
TX shaming the Yankee bastards - LOVE IT!
WHYTHEFUCKAMIEXCITED
FUCKYOUGNATS
@MB, back an hour or so: I think they were twins, Oranjello and Lemonjello!
The important question is can Texas beat the Gnats??
Shut up Karen! HaHa
FB - That was a true story. I'm sure Lemonjello is out running the streets along with their other sibling Jelloshot.
Danny DeVito loves him some limoncello.
mmmm jelloshots
Not to worry, TX will muster up the hate for those annoying Gnats.
who do the yanks have singing? the remaining Ramone?
Spanky--I know, I was afraid to voice it
huh? Is he going off book? or do I not know the words to this song?
What is this shit
Fucking Yankees hate America!!!
Isn't that fucking owl or hawk or whatever fom watchmen
Zooey's cuter
He did a nice job. To bad about the Yankme jacket
That owl did do some fucking in Watchmen.
FB - but is she a saucy minx?
I agree karen, he did do well
That's an idea for EK's folder for next year's PCS season.
Fowls Fuck
I want bears fucking owls, EK.
Mr F may disagree, but I wouldn't say she was saucy naturally, but I bet she could turn it on if necessary
I don't know what saucy means.
Owls are assholes
I actually love owls, but this makes me laugh
It's kinda like sauce Mr.F, only with a y instead an e.
I remember watching an old version of Romeo & Juliet, and one of the characters calls another "you saucy boy." It made me laugh for a week.
I'm having serious trouble following a writer who uses ZOMG in a tweet.
#MNightSlamathon
MLASG, was that the one with some boob in it? I remember seeing that in english class in high school and being shocked (and titilated) that they would show that in school
Urban dictionary:
saucy - hot chick with some attitude but not too much
Meh whatever.
Willow Smith's "music career" must be stopped.
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