Series Thread (Games 24-26): Apr 28-30 vs Phillies

Fri, 7p: Kenta Maeda vs Jerad Eickhoff
LAD 5, PHI 3

Sat, 7p: Hyun-Jin Ryu Brandon McCarthy vs Zach Eflin
LAD 6, PHI 5. The 3+Whoops Game!

Sun, 1p: Clayton KershawHyun-Jin Ryu vs Nick Pivetta
LAD 5, PHI 3. Sweep! Dodgers end April at 14-12.

The 3+Whoops Game

The 3+Whoops Game

— Sons of Steve Garvey (@sosgsosg) April 30, 2017

Remember when?

Softball Tourney Today - Wish Us Luck Beer!

Series Thread (Games 20-23): Apr 24-27 @ Giants

"And now...pitching for the Giants...."

Mon, 7p: Hyun-Jin Ryu vs Matt Cain (!)
SF 2, LAD 1

Tues, 7p: Clayton Kershaw vs Ty Blach
LAD 2, SF 1. Bellinger debut.

Wed, 7p: Alex Wood vs Johnny Cueto
SF 4, LAD 3 (10)

Thurs, 12:45p: Julio Urias vs Matt Moore
LAD 5, SF 1

We didn't put a thread for yesterday's game AND NO ONE COMPLAINED. But it's Kershaw Day today so let's do this shit right! Matchups to come...

Series Thread (Games 17-19): Apr 21-23 @ Snakes

Fri, 7p: Alex Wood vs Taijuan Walker
ARI 13, LAD 5. Ugh.

Sat, 5p: Kenta Maeda vs Robbie Ray
ARI 11, LAD 5. Ugh.

Sun, 1p: Brandon McCarthy vs Shelby Miller
LAD 6, ARI 2. Yay.

Series Thread (Games 15-16): Apr 18-19 vs Rockies

4/18, 7p: Hyun-Jin Ryu vs Kyle Freeland
COL 4, LAD 3

4/19, 7p: Clayton Kershaw vs Tyler Anderson
LAD 4, COL 2

Are we back in time? Did we jump in the DeLorean and punch it to 88 mph and travel all the way back to...2016? Because all this seems awfully familiar: flailing vs. lefties, pitchers not named Clayton unable to go past five innings, a bullpen taxed with nigh-impossible expectations. Heck, even Ethier and Hill are back on the DL. Will a brief two-game series against the first-place Rockies cure what ails us? Did Marvin Berry and the Starlighters write "Johnny B. Goode"?

Series Thread: Games 11-14 vs. D'backs (April 14-17)

Back when we thought all we needed was two starting pitchers to win a title.

Four-game series with the Diamondbacks kicks off tonight in true form, with Friday Night Fireworks Sponsored by Denny's, set to the music of Billy Joel! Oh, and there are these two familiar guys who used to play on the same team, now squaring off against each other. I suppose that's interesting as well.

Saturday involves the unveiling of our Jackie Robinson statue (complete with replicas given away at the Stadium); Sunday gives away a Kenta Maeda fathead, and Monday doesn't offer anything except the best starting pitcher on the Dodgers so far (statistically speaking, of course). Somewhere in there, it would be nice to end the series back above .500. But that goal seems awful slippery when playing with these 7-3 snakes.

Friday: Clayton Kershaw (1-1, 3.46) vs. Zack Greinke (1-0, 2.31), 7p
DODGERS 7, DIAMONDBACKS 1

Saturday: Kenta Maeda (1-1, 6.30) vs. Patrick Corbin (1-1, 1.80), 6p
DODGERS 8, DIAMONDBACKS 4. Happy Jackie Robinson Day!

Sunday: Rich Hill vs. Tajuan Walker (1-1, 4.91), 1p
DIAMONDBACKS 3, DODGERS 1. Blistered.

Monday: Brandon McCarthy (2-0, 1.50) vs. Robbie Ray (1-0, 2.19), 7p
DIAMONDBACKS 4, DODGERS 2

I'm Ready!

Kershaw! Greinke! Pre-Paid Parking!

No Bread? No Beer? No Problem!

Thanks to Husker Do (Aka SOSG Todd - the auteur behind A Very Pleasant Good Evening) I'll be at the game, free of leavened products but full of excitement. If you know where to find Todd, you'll know where to find the Delino.

Series Thread (Games 8-10): Apr 10,12-13 @ Cubs

We have to watch those Cub bastards hoist their World Series banner on their opening night tonight? And we have to watch them get their rings the following ni--....wait there is no game the next night of this away series. WTF? So we have to watch the banner hoisted, get angry about it on the off day, then try to keep our cool as we watch them get their rings the next night? And neither of those games will be played during the damn daytime, when Cubs games are supposed to freaking be played. Oh, also Rich Hill has a strained blister on his throwing blister that has blistered up, so he's scratched for the opener against Jon Lester. What can go wrong in this series? Dusty mad already.

4/10, 5:05p: Alex Wood vs Jon Lester
CUBS 3, DODGERS 2

4/12, 5:05p: Brandon McCarthy vs John Lackey
DODGERS 2, CUBS 0

4/13, 11:20a: Hyun-Jin Ryu vs Brett Anderson
CUBS 4, DODGERS 0. Hello, old friend.

Series Thread (Games 5-7): Apr 7-9 @ Rockies

Wait, what? One home series and the Dodgers are already on the road? OK, whatever. Let's see what this series has in store for us:

-The return of Hyun-Jin Ryu! Hooray!
-The return of Hyun-Jin Ryu at Coors! Hooray?
-Three Rockies pitchers I don't think I've ever heard of.
-The Dodgers' third and fourth day games in seven games.
-Clayton Kershaw vs. the Rockies...a matchup that's gone pretty well before I guess.

4/7, 1:10p: Hyn-Jin Ryu vs. Kyle Freeland
ROCKIES 2, DODGERS 1

4/8, 5:10p: Clayton Kershaw vs. Jon Gray
ROCKIES 4, DODGERS 2

4/9, 12:10p: Kenta Maeda vs. Tyler Anderson
DODGERS 10, ROCKIES 6

Game 4 Thread: April 6 vs. Padres, 12n

Brandon McCarthy (0-0, -.--) vs. Jered Weaver (0-0, -.--)

In the current divisive political climate of this country, a return to McCarthyism might not be something that we should be celebrating. But given the abyss of the back end of the Dodgers' starting rotation, we may as well give Brandon a shot here. Brandon has already "earned" $28M of his $48M, four-year contract with the Dodgers, pitching a total of 63 innings and delivering five wins and 73 strikeouts. Let's see if he can overcome his elbow and hip maladies and earn us a series win in today's early game.

Brimming with confidence.

Game 3 Thread: Apr 5 vs Padres, 7p

The chill before the storm.

Rich Hill (0-0, -.--) vs Trevor Cahill (0-0, -.--).

It's cHill versus Cahill! The Padres starter is a righty, so we can reasonably expect the Dodgers to score 14 runs tonight. That's how it works, right?

photo by Gary A. Vasquez/USA TODAY

Post-Game 2 Thread: Padres 4, Dodgers 0: Nothing Doing

DODGERS 0, PADRES 4

If nothing else, it was tidy. Maeda faltered early, and the offense was completely toothless facing Clayton Richard. No Dodger baserunner ever reached scoring position. It's too early to say that 2016's lefty woes will carry over into 2017, but this wasn't a good omen, at the very least.

Would you believe I grounded out sharply twice to short and hit into a 6-4-3 double play on the drive home?

Game 2 Thread: Apr. 4 vs. Padres, 7p

Kenta stop the feeling!
Kenta Maeda (0-0, -.--) vs. Clayton Richard (0-0, -.--)

The second annual Opening Week Humiliation of the Padres rolls on tonight! This will be our first look at Maeda this season. Well, MY first look, anyway. I paid zero attention to Spring Training. Did you know Franklin Gutierrez was a thing? Me neither!

Thoughts to Pedro

Guerrero in a 1978 photo.

Stepdaughter: Ex-Dodgers star Pedro Guerrero fighting for life after stroke (ESPN.com)

Post-Game 1 Thread: Dodgers 14, Padres 3; Pwnage Jhoulys

DODGERS 14, PADRES 3

Surprise, motherfuckers! There isn't a minimum-security voluntary rehabilitation facility built that can keep me away from opening day. Unless it's court-ordered.

It's one game versus the hapless Padres, but it still counts in the win column, which is more that the Giants, Cubs, or Yankees can say today. The Dodgers start 2017 off on a positive note by juicing Chacin for 9 runs, all earned. The big blow fell in the third, where Justin Turner's two-out double sparked an offensive explosion that culminated in a Joc Pederson grand slam with a Grandal solo-shot chaser. All this in a Clayton Kershaw start, as well.

Baseball is back, boys and girls, and today was a good day.

Game 1 Thread: Apr 2 vs Padres, 1p

Clayton Kershaw (0-0, -.--) vs Jhoulys Chacin (0-0, -.--).

Whaaaaaat, did you think we forgot about you? Fear not, the Sons are out of rehab and down for another season of high hopes followed by the inevitable weight of soul-crushing disappointment grinding our love for game into the dirt—

Ah shit, sorry about that — didn't mean to get all doom and gloom on you. Yes, I know that many media outlets and finer sports-betting establishments are picking the Dodgers to win it all this year. And our GM is a nice guy. And our clubhouse has *gasp* chemistry.

But we've been here before, what with the astronomical payroll and lofty expectations. Who isn't glad that Kenley and Turn Down for What are back? And even Old Man Utley? But let's see some results on the field. Then we'll know what this year's team is made of.

P.S: Best of luck to Joe Davis, making his home-game debut today!

UPDATE: Can confirm that SoSG Stubbs is actually not out of rehab yet.

Just...no.