Random rantings and ravings about the Los Angeles Dodgers, written by a small consortium of rabid Dodger fans. With occasional comments on baseball, entertainment, pop culture, and life in general.
C.J. Wilson vs. Matt Cain.
COMMENTS: One loss shouldn't be cause for alarm, even though the Giants did get to Rangers ace Cliff Lee; in doing so, the Giants have also used up their best gun in Tim Lincecum. Game 2 falls to Wilson, who led the team in BB this year. Which means that C.J., a walker Texas Ranger is going to go all Chuck Norris on all of those fat Giants today. Count it.
4/3 vs. SF (W, 5-4): Sax
4/15 vs. WSH (L, 4-6): Dusty, Orel, Sax
5/6 vs. MIA (W, 6-3): AC, Sax
5/16 vs. CIN (L, 2-7): AC, Sax
6/12 vs. TEX (L, 2-3): Sax
7/5 vs. MIL (W, 8-5): Sax
7/21 vs. BOS (W, 9-6): Sax
8/24 vs. TB (L, 8-9 (10)): Sax
8/29 vs. BAL (W, 6-3): Orel, Sax
197 comments:
Hate time has arrived, I see.
Ivana P N the Giants Gatorade.
Also, awesome pun.
"fuck the giants" is cool, but i don't get the pun
The Baseball Gods are dead.
Or they must be crazy.
SMASH
MAIM
CRUSH
DESTROY
Are we allowed to start the Chuck Norris jokes?
I was going to quote Star Wars but instead I'll say this:
Coper is the Gene Simmons of Canines'. Look at that thing.
RBN, I'm not sensing the HATE from you, man. Step it up!
Josh, how did you get a copy of my To Do list for today?
Time to bring out the big guns.
My surly factor about this game is approaching levels only measurable by stellar parallax.
Talk about nerd rage.
@Dusty: I hacked into your iPad. I installed the Humping Bears app while I was in there.
Hacked? More like stole and copied to personal iPad.
Sadly, I'm the only member of the "Kicked by Karina Under the Table" club that doesn't have an iPad.
(Semi-old, very random callback.)
^but still frequently kicked.
Let's see some Forced Vengeance today, Rangers!
HATE HATE HATE HATE
KILL THE FUCKING GIANTS!
HATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATE
What he said!
I have a can of Natural Light I am going to drink after the Rangers win this game. Yeah, that's right. I am taking one for the Peeps.
Don't fuck up, Ladies Choice. I'll shave off dem sideburns FUCKER.
Nice move, Kinsler.
Great play by Kinsler.
Good play by Kinsler.
Epale everyone! I'm here with all my glorious HATEHATEHATE!!
Hey Karen
HATEHATEHATEHATEHATE
CJ "Eye Candy" Wilson on the mound and no Meanie tonite:(
Are you out there Karina??
what did kinsler do?
(wdkd?)
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
HATE HATE HATE HATE
Rosenthal dresses like he belongs in Frisco. And that is all I am going to say about the topic.
How I loathe you, Ross.
Shit. You bastard, Cody Ross
Blerging Cody Ross!
I really fucking hate the Rangers left fielder whoever the fuck he is.
I really hate Cody Ross.
"That's a play Misty May would make."
Really, Tim? Beach volleyball players catch the ball? DO YOU EVEN LISTEN TO YOURSELF WHEN YOU SAY ASININE THINGS?
I hate this Frisco team and their orange kool-aid drinking fans
Joe Morgan called the games played in the NL park "interleague."
Of course if any city were to look at coffee and think, "This could use some booze," it would be Frisco.
Suck and Tim really love that fucking city. Assholes.
FUCK THEM ALL!
Years ago I heard Tommy Lasorda say "Bruce Bochy couldn't hit water if he fell out of a boat". How appropriate that he ended up playing in phone booth park.
^managing
DIE FRISCO DIE!
WoW! He stepped on the second base.
Fucking Idiots.
Did someone say World of Warcraft?
SO SAY WE ALL
OYSTER PUBES DON'T HUSTLE
@ 5:51
WOW!
@ Mr.F
Dweib!
Fuck. A couple more inches and that would have been a homerun.
What just happened?
That was one of the shittiest breaks I've ever seen.
Kinsler hit a ball off the top of the centerfield fence but the ball came back towards the field.
Baseball is a game of inches.
Josh is right. That was one shitty break.
GODDAMMIT
FUCK YOU EDGAR
Throw strikes asshole
JUST HIT A HOMER ALREADY FUCKING RANGERS
Boy that woman was...big.
Do something Canada Dry For fucks sake
"What a good play by Cody Ross."
YOU MEAN HIM DIVING FOR THE BALL, MISSING, THEN INADVERTENTLY LANDING ON IT WHICH PREVENTED IT FROM GOING ANY FURTHER? YES, JOE BUCK, IT WAS A FUCKING GOOD PLAY.
You spelled JOE SUCK wrong.
I bet Nellie Cruz is the fucking left fielder I despise. Bastard
FUCK THE GIANTS
When did the Dodgers switch to the AL?
Joe Suck wants to engage in carnal relations with Matt Cain.
Did Buck break up with Fernando Tatis?
Um, I mean ALLEGEDLY.
Joe Suck wants to have a threeway with him, Cain, and Ross, all while McCarver watches.
And the Phils and Braves, while we're at it.
And he'll just keep repeating "What a great play by Cody Ross" over and over again.
hit patty in the face with the ball,sideburns. atleast give me that satisfaction.
WTF? That was strike 3!
FUCKING CONSPIRACY
CODY ROSS IS SUCH A FUCKING GAMER
It feels like a 5 run deficit.
ALSO, FUCK THE GIANTS
Gawd, Frisco fans are a mangy bunch of critters.
What's up with Suck's orange wristband??
GIANT BIAS
Ivana punch Joe Suck in the teeth.
He had the lead runner out.
Of Course. Couldn't see that happening.
Goddammit that's game.
Goddammit, baseball is punishing me for something.
Six outs to score two runs.
Well anyone know what the fuck they call this game? Cause it sure as fuck ain't baseball!!
What a world. What a world.
Well the 81 Dodgers were down 2-0 heading home.
But Steve Garvey ain't walking through that door.
This could be going better.
HATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATE
FUCK YOU WORLD!
Excuse me, I'm going to go throw on my Casey Blake shirt, drive up there, and set fire to those foam beards.
So law of averages say these breaks have to be drying up eh?
The timely hitting is uncanny like they are cheating again* or they are the bizarro dodgers.
*2002, 1951.
I THOUGHT HE WAS A DODGER FAN?!?!?!
I'm just coming out and saying it. This is the end.
@paul
I had the bizarro-Dodger premonition, as well.
FUCK THE GIANTS
(cries)
So, Sons, do you think maybe we can get on with the Son sacrifice now?
Time to start searching out parallel universes where this isn't happening.
ubragg says so. SACRIFICE!!!!!!!!!!
If there was ever a time to make a pitching change with a 3-0 count, this would be it.
I'm not here. This isn't happening. I'm not here. This isn't happening. I'm not here. This isn't happening. I'm not here. This isn't happening. I'm not here. This isn't happening. I'm not here. This isn't happening. I'm not here. This isn't happening. I'm not here. This isn't happening. I'm not here. This isn't happening.
DIE, SOSG LASORDA, AND KNOW YOUR DEATH IS FOR THE GREATER GOOD
(cries)
FUCK YOU LASORDA! DIE BITCH.
DIE LASORDA AND ALEX CORA AND DELINO!!!!! WE NEED ALL OF YOU TO BE TEAM PLAYERS.
Danger Rangers Danger.
GET RID OF EK TOO FOR GOOD MEASURE. HIS PUZZLES ONLY SERVE TO ANNOY ME.
just coming back home from a lovely evening
well, it WAS a lovely evening.
I'm so full of hate and anger.
Uh oh. This is the awkward moment when Karina comes in and we're all trying to kill the Sons in some kind of pagan ritual.
ONE SON FOR ONE. IF IT HAS TO BE DONE, DO IT!!!!
ONE SON FOR ONE WIN*. IF IT HAS TO BE DONE, DO IT!!!!
We're all going to be kicked under the table now...
Karina
We can totally explain the guy in the bunny suit. Well Mr. C can.
Czar, can you leave Eric Karros alone and out of all this hate?
Even if he wants to marry Zrinka and therefore, breaking my heart :(
I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS! LET ME OFF THE GODDAMN BUS TO HELL!
So you all know, including Josh, the fact you don't own an iPad doesn't mean I can't kick you under the table (stares at the Czar)
Caballito run :(
@Paul I need a very good explanation
(cries)
Did someone at least roll out the guillotine? Let's get on with the sacrifice already!
*shuts off all external media save SoSG*
We're not beheading them, ubragg! I'm getting the 11 herbs and spice ready.
God, make the bad man stop...
That is it. I'm gone.
Sayonara.
My bad Mr. F, I was trying to optimize for expedience at this point.
Well, the Giants need an Imperio curse.
Not before we have lots of fun performing the Cruciatus curse.
I can't go to Azkaban for that, right?
Czar, you gave me the idea when you mentioned "The Greater Good", that was the slogan of a very dark character :(
The end my friends.
Dodgers will open up against the World Champ San Francisco Giants.
Get your tickets now but you will also have to buy tickets for the Marlins, Pirates, D backs and Houstan.
Nuts to this, I'm watching the end of Access Hollywood.
Boys and girls, today it's the Miss Venezuela pageant.
My mom entered to my room asking why I was yelling to the TV.
quick explanation and all she can come up with is "if you were normal, you'd be watching the Miss Venezuela and behaving like a normal person"
fuck
=(
sorry for my French
there are two outs :( though I'm daydreaming about a Giants bullpen meltdown.
I BELIEVE, it ain't over 'till it's over
Aaron Rowand? Really? Next they're gonna bring Zito in to pitch...
From Giants to ogres, I suppose.
Misery.
Fuuuuuuuck
I hate pretty much everything right now.
STOOPID RANGERS.MAKE ME MISS CHARLIE BROWN PEANUT GREAT PUMPKIN FOR THIS SHIT. I GO CUT RON WASHINGTON COKE WITH DR.SCHOLL AND SPIT IN HAMYS ODOULS
@karina
Normal = highly overrated
Yo Sax, I hope it isn't you, but the Son sacrifice needs to happen. Yesterday.
I'm so frustrated I don't know what to say.
*curls into a fetal position and whimpers*
Yes. NicJ is right. IT'S ALL JOSH S.'S FAULT. THROW JOSH S. INTO THE FIRE WITH ALEX CORA AND LASORDA AND DELINO AND THE 11 HERBS AND SPICES!!!!!!
(cries)
This blows.
Fashion Police rules pink panda hat as a crime against humanity. I don't care if you're 10 years old.
Guys, I think the Czar should change his moniker to his old one, just sayin'
I'm going to leave him a reply in Twitter
I think that Suck is doing everything he can to not break out in giggles
At this point I'm open to anything that could give the Rangers back their mojo.
(continues to get the fire ready)
(cries some more)
@Mr C I know, but how can we explain my mom that?
What in satan's name is going on?
Time for Plan B: bio-weapon.
I think we should sacrifice the fucking bears, too.
If the Giants win the World Series, I will exile myself from SoSG.
Just fucking die already Lasorda!
Or at least all the evil ex-girlfriends. I'm looking at you Matilda!!!!!!
That wasn't fun.
@Josh
That's a bad idea. This is the only safe place left.
You will probably have to sit in the corner and think about what you've done for a while, though.
@Mr. F
That damn owl will certainly be the first against the wall when the revolution comes, I can tell you that.
I'm still praying that this is all a setup for them to lose it all at home.
We must all channel the power of Russ Ortiz's game ball.
Ahhhhhhhhh, I switched to the Miss venezuela, because on Twitter they said it was "questions time". I couldn't make fun of the answers...much
:(
@Josh don't leave us, at least *I* enjoy your commenting
Don't harm yourself, Josh. You're too valuable to us!
But keep your damn hands off my iPad!
Wait, Josh. You put a bear humping app on here. By all means borrow the iPad any time you want.
Why did the AL east tank at the end of the season?
If the Giants win this the only thing that will fix my psyche is the Dodgers ending their reign in the NLCS next year.
Very fuckin unlikely.
I am broken.
I got nothin, Paul.
This is some fucked up shit, right here.
This is indeed a truly fucked up situation. I feel that the only way we can begin to put this behind us (aside from Lasorda's demise) is a good old fashioned drink-up. Who is in?
I was in before you finished the sentence.
Now Mr. C we have to cheer for a guy named Colby?
This is jacked up.
I'll be edamed if I'm gonna cheer for the other guy.
I'm saving my drink up for Saturday. If they win that day,I'll need all my booze and then some to get by. There is no way in hell that I am watching game 4 if that shit happens.
I had already penciled you in, Mr C, my spiritual bartender.
To top it all off, Mrs Dusty and MDIL are watching some Sound of Music shit on Oprah (taken together that has to be my worst nightmare). I'm drowning it out with some Sam Adams and some Biggie Smalls doin it to me in my earhole.
At least the Kings won. That keeps this day from being a total waste. Now just 90%.
@dusty
You were dealt a tough hand tonight, it seems.
Heyman's courting an unfollow right now. Feeling too surly for his schtick.
Just do what I do and send replies full of swearing. That gets the surliness down a bit.
Saturday will be time to monterey-nger comeback!
(cries)
Gouda one Mr. F.
(weak, yes. I'm sure there's Stiltons of them out there, but I can't think of them.)
Oh, it's bad here, Mr C. I'm dyin'. I feel so cold.
*rasping*
Go on without me. I'm so cold.....
This Sat means a Texas win and an Old ghost Zin. Cause things are getting fuckin spooky.
You can have that fuckin song back Perry.
Dodger are going Air Supply "Love out of nothing at all"
Nothing is fucking working this season for me.
So i must impliment the Costanza method I must cheer for the Giants. It is the only way they will lose.
So I am new to this giants fan shit but as a Dodger fan I have had a lot of hours observing their kind.
First step is I think I must grow some fucked up and very manicured facial hair. Probably a soul patch.
Next I need to find a little kid who is a Dodger fan and curse him out.
Third I need to roll in some garlic fries and know less about wine but pretend I know more.
Okay that should get me started. This is gonna be hard work.
Don't forget to wear a panda hat,Paul.
*takes another hit of the carbon monoxide*
fuck me in the goat ass
This is bad.
Very bad.
Yep, I'm starting to buy into this season being one massive punishment for Dodger fans. (Though, I haven't quite determined what our crime is. Supporting Manny? Seems like we already paid for that.)
Not only are the Giants leading in the World Series, they're stomping a team that looks like the Dodgers from a distance. (Until they throw on those red alt unis.)
I think this is all punishment for all the bear porn we've been watching this season.
Are bear cub and Jasmine even married? They're living in sin!!!!
Does bear cub even have a name?!?! He probably was never baptized!!!!
How 'bout them Lakers?
Suicide Fail. Tried to off myself with second hand cigarette smoke but it didn't take. True Dodger.
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