(Okay, this is the last one.)
Derek Lowe (16-12, 4.00) vs. Tim Lincecum (16-10, 3.43).
COMMENTS: This is it, the final course of today's baseball meal. And while the other five dishes over the last two days were like vegetarian appetizers--stakeless--this game kicks off the most meaningful League Division Series of them all. So, we're putting this thread up just a wee bit early in order to channel all the SoSG hate that has been simmering like a crockpot stew. And speaking of crockpots, here's Giants crossed-arm pointer Brian Wilson, hanging out at home with some of his friends:
But oh yeah, the game. Admittedly, it is difficult for me to root for the Braves, the Dodgers' rival pre-realignment. But the Giants are an pusillaminous evil annoyance that simply must be eradicated. Also, this series gives Braves Rookie of the Year candidate Jason Heyward the chance to shave Oyster Pubes once and for all. So while I might not be tomahawk chopping, I'll definitely be rooting for Atlanta to noc-a-homa.
114 comments:
Last one? But they're so good!
GO BRAVES!!
FUCK THE GIANTS!!
(cries)
I can feel the HATE rising.
oh, timmy cumrags. you've made a nice transition from being the bassist for hanson to a good mlb pitcher...at least when you're not obsessed with colorado's balls. but these are the playoffs, and your team can't hit for shit. so fuck you. fuck you, fuck your hair, fuck your stupid dollar-bill grabbing delivery, fuck the golden gate bridge, fuck full house, fuck steve perry, fuck joe morgan, fuck barry bonds, fuck hippies, fuck hipsters, fuck the 49ers, fuck the fog, fuck your tourist trap of a chinatown, fuck your overrated public transit, fuck your cold-ass shit weather, and most importantly fuck the giants.
phew! (please, d.lowe, don't screw this up)
C'mon Braves, we Dodger fans have temporarily accepted you over to the side of The Good and Pure. Use this blessing wisely and kick gnat ass!
I hope your bridge will collapse and your bay gets polluted by SHIT!
FUCK YOU GNATS
So say we all EM!
I don't know, guys. I kinda like the cable cars.
Just kidding.
HATE HATE HATE THE GIANTS
Yeah, fuck your overrated ball park with a shitty location on the water so that no matter what time of year you go there, you freeze your nards (sorry ladies, speaking from experience here) off and pay waaaay too much for a Gordon Biersch marzen so you switch to Bud, but hell, that's $10 a pop, no decent eateries next to it except for an overpriced sports bar that's usually filled with Dodger fans when they're in town and they're willing to pay $14 A PITCHER FOR BUD FUCKING WEISER, named after whatever telecommunications company happens to own the Bell system at this moment, and fuck those battery-chucking, Dodger-hating, chardonnay-drinking,- foix-gras-eating, silicon valley-working, fixie-riding, pork pie hat-wearing, foul-smelling, so-called fans of theirs.
I've been holding back on the hate for a while.
Surly factor CRITICAL.
Spoiling for a fight.
Wash yer life, Timmah!
I think that went well.
Oh, Spanktopolis, nice Slim Pickens yesterday.
No go get me a shitload of dimes.
I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be able watching this series until they get to Atlanta, or if the Jints start to get blown out. The cold embrace of Gameday will shield me from how much fun those fuckers are having.
Mr. C:
The town next to the water is full of cold embraces.
Shut up Mork
FUCK MORK
Screw you Mrs. Doubtfire!!
Smoke another one TIMMEH!
Braves leading off with an All-Star. What could go wrong?
Did you see Dick Stockton earlier? He looks like Kyle's dad on South Park when he had the surgery to become a dolphin.
Fucking Josh.HaHa
Welcome to Club Schadenfreude!
Oh hey, I forgot they have Derrek Lee.
MrC is right. This is going to be a long night if those black and orange bastards stay happy.
Up pops the devil for the gnats!!
QUIT BLINDLY HACKING, STOOPID BRAVES
I wish Mariano really did eat chalupas. Then he'd get the runs while trying to save.
Sit down fat ass
Sit down and have another piece of pie
yeah, i can't stand to watch this on tv either...i need gameday. come on, braves, for crap's sake!
Throw a strike Moron
FUCK THE GIANTS
HURTY SANCHEZ
My poor heart barely survived that run down
good
So many avatar puppies!
Orel is excited.
Huff's on-site voodoo priest must have the day off.
Big Deal. on to the game
This is going to hurt when I say this but... Come on Braves do something
HATE ROOTING FOR OTHER TEAMS
Haters gonna hate.
Hatters gonna hat.
Timmeh flips his hair around like a girl
Oh shit
Haeger's gonna haeg.
FUCK YOU CODY ROSS
Yah, What Mr.F said.
H8 H8 H8
Epale y'all
I tuned in just as those bastards got a run.
Timmeh wash yer hair and fix yer teeth...ya freak!
Dammit
Epale MB
I hope you brought good luck with you
That's enough, FDB.
Is that a dog collar around Torres' neck??
I think Rob Neyer uses the retweet function a little too much.
@Karen
I wish I could say that I have but the way the day has gone not likely.
Your dog is gorgeous! My little devil killed a possum. Collecting dead vermin is a great way to start the day...ewwww.
I hate the fact that they scored but at least they were held to one run. Come on Braves, let's go!
Just finished watching the new South Park. I almost puked when Cartman ate a whole store section of Vagisil.
FUCK YOU TIMMEH!
@MB--Is the vermin play a Husky thing? When we lived in Lake Arrowhead mine used to find squirrel roadkill and toss it in the air then catch it.
If you want some real torture, Chris Berman is calling this game on ESPN Radio.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Does Timmeh look exceptionally pale tonite or is it me?
Get some sun TIMMEH!
YOU BIG DUMMY
@Karen
I've never seen her actually kill anything so I don't know if she plays with her prey. She is definitely not happy when I dispose of it. Gawd, it's disgusting. I have never had a dog like this one. She never wants to come inside and has a one track mind which is to kill, Kill, KILL.
Christ, Ankiel sucks.
Ankemp'd.
BRING IN TRON.
Ken Jeong is good at comedy.
good
Sometimes a double play is a beautiful thing.
UJTD
You can certainly see why Cox decided to IBB Sandoval.
Here we go.
Did Gonzalez hit just one homer while with Atlanta?
Wash yer hair, Timmeh!!!
Timmeh - Marilyn Manson
Can't tell them apart now.
Oh you guys suck.
What do Timmeh and Marilyn Manson have in common? Both were hiding behind the door when God was passing out looks.
Dirty South not getting it done tonight.
It's not looking good but it ain't over till it's over.
Long lost Betsy said "Puto Face pansy ass tree humping panda hat wearing fans."
Oh, yeah! The Hate runs through her veins. I love it!
I don't want to live in an America where Rob Reiner is a congressman.
How the hell did the Braves make the playoffs with this line up
after sitting through the 162-game clusterfuck that was the dodgers' season we've now been forced to root for a team we kind of hate whose offense eerily resembles that of the dodgers. what did we do to piss off the universe?
Smoke some crack TIMMEH
Cox is throwing everything AND the kitchen sink at these fools
I really hate the Giants.
I'm going to go do a rain dance to make it rain some runs for these pretenders
What an ugly bunch of MFer's gnats fans are
The Gnats and their fans are boils on the butthole of humanity.
*borrowed words from a former colleague from New York
numb
At least we have another week of SoSG fantasy football to look forward to.
Speak for yourself Meanie. HaHa
(cries)
Great. Yanks, Phils and Giants all with the upper hand. I'm being punished, aren't I?
*shakes fist impotently at the sky*
(sobs)
@MB--You speak the truth, girlfriend!!
Go Rangers!
(cries)
I don't know WTF I'm going to do when the phils and gnats play each other. A complete meltdown of emotions. Should be entertaining though.
Spank
There is always hope although your up against Karina. She's a tough one! I'm up against the Professor. He's in the same boat I was in this past week. Most of his players are on a bye and he's having to make a lot of substitutions.
@Spanky
Don't say things like that!!!!
(CRIES)
My team is cursed. I really believe it is.
I would have to root for the Phillies.
(wails)
On the bright side I enjoy New Twitter.
I agree with MLASF. If it comes down to the Phils and the Gnats we hang onto our hate. WE NEVER GIVE UP THE HATE!!
Gnats/Phillies
It's the end of the world as we know it. I cannot imagine pulling for either one of them.
(pukes and cries)
FFFFFFFFFFFF
UUUUUUUUUU
CCCCCCCCCC
KKKKKKKKKKK
I'm just going to spew HATE at both and not give a rats ass who fucking wins. HATEHATEHATE
I'll be damned if I have to root for the Yankees again. I demand victory from Texas and/or Cincinnati.
This could be the post-season from hell. Being forced to root for the Braves, Phillies, and Yankees?
(cries)
That sucked
I'm fine with rooting for the Braves, since they've been such a non-factor for a few years now.
I can root for the Braves. I mainly hated them for delaying NWA/WCW broadcasts.
Last year, my Yankee hatred won out, so it was the Phillies who made the "face turn" (to use a wrestling term) in my eyes. If it's the two of them AGAIN this year, I won't watch out of boredom. If it's Yanks/Giants, I'll drink the Bronx Kool-Aid.
Heel face turn.
I'm meh to the Brazes. But I HATE HATE HATE the Phillies and Yankees.
Braves*
At least that was two hits more than the Reds had.
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