Thanks to All Who Didn't Vote

...for any of the remaining Sons. You know who you are! And don't worry about Pedro's last words. You know why? Because...

SoSG Pedro Guerrero Concedes With Grace, Tact, and Class

And there you have it, at 12:47p PT, conceded his spot as a Son with all the style you've come to expect from such a verbose individual:

"F y'all"...I think that's the same thing I said on August 26, 1988 when you fckrs traded me to St Louis and THEN won the world series....so maybe, you'll win in 2010?

The Dapper Dominican, ladies and gentlemen, was never one to beat around the bush.

Sidebar updated (updated again 1/27 9:30a). Farewell, Pedro, and thanks for all the memories!

SoSG Campaign: The Polls Are Closed, The Results Are In...

...and you can rent 500 Days of Summer from Netflix today!

Oh yeah, and it looks like Pedro Guerrero has seen the end of his prolific tenure on Sons of Steve Garvey:

Final vote count (technically, the poll is still open, but this is what we're using with 116 votes counted, at 11:00a PT):

• Pedro Guerrero: 57 votes for downsizing
• Lasorda: 33
• Delino DeShields: 23
• Alex Cora: 7
• Eric Karros: 6
• Steve Sax: 5
• Orel: 4

A concession speech from Pedro may be coming soon (depending on if he still remembers his blogger password). If not, we'll write something pithy for him. In the meantime, thank all of you for your votes, comments, and voting play-by-play--and for allowing the six remaining Sons to continue at their current salary (and expense account / lifestyle) levels.

Two More Hours Of Voting

With just over two hours left in voting, the early results for the downsizing victim (107 voters total; multiple answers allowed) are:

• Pedro Guerrero 52
• Lasorda 30
• Delino DeShields 19
• Alex Cora 6
• Eric Karros 5
• Orel, Steve Sax 3 (tie)

Not looking good for Pedro, though anything can happen in baseball.

Remember to get in your votes here. Polls close at 10a today, or whenever I can out of my morning meetings.

SoSG Downsizing: The Referendum

This is it: the moment of reckoning. Now I know how Jason Todd felt.

One week ago today, we opened the campaign for the Sons of Steve Garvey, with the end result being the downsizing of a SoSG staff member. SoSG readers would get the opportunity to pick which Son gets the axe.

When the week started with pure platform definition, I had hopes that this would be a clean campaign. But it was only a matter of time before it devolved into unabashed bribery, celebrity and fellow blogger endorsements, spirited debates, and "baby" kissing and flesh-pressing. At least one SoSG reader tried to save us from our descent into moral turpitude with some talented graphic design.

But now, it's time for judgment. Ask not what each Son can do for you. Ask what you can do to get rid of your least-favorite Son.

Which Son Should Be Downsized from the SoSG Staff?
	Alex Cora
	Delino DeShields
	Eric Karros
	Lasorda
	Orel
	Pedro Guerrero
	Steve Sax
pollcode.com free polls

UPDATE 11:10a (Sax): Sorry, forgot to mention that as per the campaign rules, the poll will close at 10:00 AM on Tuesday, 1/26/10.

UPDATE 3:13p (Orel): Thanks to Dusty for the picture!

Orel's Sexy Bribe of the Day

The campaigning continues! I may have lost a looker, but I also gained some key endorsements. And despite the strong competition, I'm soldiering on. For the gents:

Sofía Vergara. We just started watching "Modern Family" — now you have reasons to as well.

And ladies, don't let it be said I ignore suggestions; in fact, I can be quite observant and I also keep my promises:

2009 AL MVP Joe Mauer!

2009 AL MVP Joe Mauer in his catching gear!

2009 AL MVP Joe Mauer in a stripey sweater!

SAVE DELINO - SAVE YOURSELVES!!! (REVISED FOR YOUR PLEASURE)

I thought defending why I write for this blog to my wife was difficult. But now, with my neck on the chopping block, I have to turn to you... our loyal hordes of SoSG-maniacs to keep the dream alive.

Do you remember the dark days of SoSG, before Delino?

Life at SoSG after the Delino, like a Steven Seagal film, has been a non-stop pulsating thrill ride.

For the Delino brings so much to the Sons of Steve Garvey landscape.

• An East Coast perspective

• Constantly bringing you the best videos in the universe (enjoy the University of Alaska's Ice Hockey team exceedingly surreal and violent entrance video... courtesy of Cubs sufferer Daniel G)

• Acts of charity and nobility

• A Master of Photoshop

•A knowledge of Judaica and all things Semitic

A vote for the Delino is not just a vote for liberty and freedom, it's a vote for yourself. For I promise that if you vote for me, I will PERSONALLY send you an autographed Delino DeShields card.*

* Signed by "SoSG's Delino"... for all I know, the real Delino wants me dead.

I recently came into over 200 Delino DeShields cards. (It's really amazing what $5 on ebay can get you). So vote for me, and I'll cover the 45 cent stamp, the envelope, and the cost of Sharpie ink.

Top that Lasorda!

PS... In case you doubt the impact of the Delino, let me remind you what you'll find when you google-image the name Delino DeShields (which MILLIONS do every day).

Orel's Adorable Bribe of the Day

SoSG Sax Nabs A Defector

Sorry I'm a little late to the fray this morning, gentlemen; last night ended up being kind of a long night... what's that? Why is my hair tousled? Shucks, I don't know.

No, I haven't seen the latest issue of FHM. But yeah, I think I may have picked up...another endorsement last night.

Okay, off to work, Sons!

P.S. Neeebs, this is for you.

SoSG Campaign: The Great Debate (Part 2)--The Questions

Thanks to all the SoSG readers who submitted questions. Due to space and time (continuum) constraints, we pulled one question from each submitter and here is the final list of questions. Sons, feel free to add your comments throughout the day; readers, feel free to opine on their responses or in general; the debate thread closes at midnight.

THE DEBATE QUESTIONS:

1. Dr. Geek: Zombies: fast, slow, or dancing?

2. Neeeebs: If you were on a desert island with Dusty (SOSG commentor), RBNLAW, Mr. Customer, and Neeebs, which one would you kill and eat if you were starving and there was no more food?

3. What Difference Does It Make: Two-part question; first: Ho w bad do you want to stay on; second, what lengths are you willing to go to keep it?

4. Loney Fan: If your significant other had Benjamin Button disease, at what age would you stop having sex with him/her?

5. Mr. Customer: Three-part question: 1) What is your name? 2) What is your quest? 3) What is your favourite colour?

6. Karina: will Harrison Ford and Joe Mauer make the front page again?

7. Paul: Favorite Manilow song?

8. Quadsevens: How do you order your scotch?

9. Jason: Ned calls and offers you the opportunity to put together a contract offer to a free agent. Within reasonable constraints, what is your offer and to whom?

10. Dusty Baker: Who is your favorite minor Simpsons character and why?

11. Mr. LA Sports Fan: You are trapped at the end of a tunnel. A horde of Giants fans are pursuing you. You find three weapons at your disposal: an Atlas of the country Tanzania, the lost memoirs of Rutherford B. Hayes, and a figure made out of fusilli pasta shaped like Jerry Seinfeld. What do you use to make your escape, and how?

12. Fanerman: Though you try to keep your lightsaber as a keepsake/lockpick, it is eventually confiscated from you. On what non-lightsaber weapon do you decide to spend your severance-package credits?

There you have it, Sons! Answer at will.

SoSG Alex Cora References His Skills

The Case for Orel

No, not what our wives and girlfriends hear every night. Ba-dum boom!

The endorsements are pouring in for the SoSG 2010 campaign! Let's go to the tape. (Hits oversized prop button*.)

• First, a note from longtime SoSG reader Loney Fan:

  Orel because he is hilarious. EK because...I like his style of humor. Also, EK and Orel provide much smaller and more humorous posts....Those posts make the site more fun, especially in times when I only have a few minutes to browse and am looking for a laugh.

  (Don't know how those kind words about EK slipped by. Won't happen again.) Thanks, LF! Hottest avatar ever!

• And now some completely unbiased words from the learned "Dusty Baker":

  Orel is one of my Best Friends in Whole Wide World. He should remain one of the Sons forever and ever and ever.

  A tip o' the Scotch glass to you, Dusty!

• And our esteemed colleagues at Pitchers & Poets have cast their vote....

  PnP officialy endorses SOSG Orel in the vicious Sons of Steve Garvey Survivor Contest

  Vicious? Perhaps. Viscous? Definitely.

Thanks and congratulations to these brave souls, who chose...wisely. Feel free to declare your support for your favorite Son via comment, e-mail or skywriter

UPDATE: Chris from dodgerfan.net has thrown his weight behind the fastest horse. Good call!

*R.I.P. George Michael!

I Know Which Reader Isn't Getting Downsized

A big camion de cariño to the wise and beautiful Karina for taking the SoSG 2010 campaign to the next level — by creating SoSG propaganda!

Beautiful stuff, Karina!

Vote Cora!

BREAKING NEWS: Vin Scully Is My Homeboy Endorses Sax for SoSG 2010

Here comes the campaign's first endorsement! Which of course, can only mean that the mudslinging isn't far behind...

Less than one half-hour ago, ROBERTO from Vin Scully Is My Homeboy threw his weight behind Sax's campaign for re-election. Roberto, author of his truly excellent blog (and keeper of my secret identity) deserves heaps of praise for his wisdom, intelligence, courage (as well as strength, dexterity, constitution, and charisma), and truly appreciate the gesture of support. Thank you!

Clearly, my strategy to hit the campaign trail three months ago, and shake some hands and kiss some babies, has paid off. Roberto, I hope to see you in person again soon!

Top 5 Reasons To Keep Cora

5. I went to more games than any of my "brothers" last year (I think). Below is a shot of me helping a friend find his seat at the stadium.

4. Now that the Dodgers don't have a proven second baseman, I could get traded from the Mets and do dual time on the diamond and on the blog. And I would devote more time on the blog because seriously how much time do I REALLY spend on the playing field. Look at my INTENSITY.

3. My 18-pitch, 13-minute-56-second, 14-consecutive-foul-ball, one-home-run at bat ranks up there with Gibby's homer, Koufax's perfect game, and Fernandomania (ok, well maybe not, but come on, I have only 35 homers in my career).

2. What other son has a mug shot?

And the number one reason to keep Alex Cora...

1. You can't spell ALex without the LA!!!

So don't vote for me, or wait, vote for me to stay...or vote for others to leave...crap, what the hell are the rules again?

Orel's Sexy Bribe of the Day

We got some complaints that yesterday's sexy bribes weren't Dodger-related.

(Number of actual complaints: zero.)
Well, that's easily fixed.
(Easy as ABCDD!)

And in the interest of equal opportunity:

Don't forget the Pirates come to down April 29 to May 2!

SoSG Campaign 2010: The Great Debate (Part 1)

A quorum of the Sons have agreed to participate in a debate, where YOU the SoSG readers get to pick the questions! Rules of the debate are as follows:

• 1. SoSG readers have until the end of day today, January 20, to submit your questions by posting them as a comment for this post (alternatively, for those of you who prefer a more discreet channel, you can email your questions to us at the address on the sidebar);
• 2. I will compile the list of questions (which may be edited due to space constraints, appropriateness, etc.; all decisions are final), and then publish the list of questions (not to exceed 20 in total) in a separate post which will run on Thursday, January 21;
• 3. Sons will then have until the end of Thursday to post their own responses to the questions.

Unlike in a real debate, there is no time limit constraining the Son when answering the questions. On top of that, unlike in a real debate, members of the audience (the readers) can chip in real-time with their comments (positive and negative).

Chaos is bound to ensue. Let's see how it goes! Post your questions for the Sons, SoSG readers!

Keep Sax A Son!

I'm still awaiting a response from James Carville, Karl Rove, and David Plouffe on whether they'd be interested in providing some pro-bono consulting services guiding me on how to run my campaign to be retained on SoSG staff for 2010. Surprisingly, none of them has returned my email yet.

So, let me start with some early campaign thoughts on why I believe should remain a Son (and these points are unfiltered by any campaign manager or publicity agent):

• I've illustrated one of my posts by hand.
• I promise that, if re-elected, I will put Coca-Cola in the water fountains.
• I'm not as direct as Orel (nice work, btw!), but still supportive of the general cause.
• I'm clairvoyant.
• And as for our blog's dire financial situation? All I can say is, if Woody had gone to the police, this would never have happened.

More exciting news from the campaign trail tomorrow!

...And One for the Ladies

I would have used a picture of myself, but didn't want to embarrass Mr. Bond here. You know how it is.