Tuesday, October 19, 2010

ALCS Game 4 Thread: Rangers @ Yankees, 5p

Tommy Hunter (0-1, 4.50) vs. A.J. Burnett (if Joe Girardi doesn't come to his senses).

COMMENTS: Just think — if the Texas bullpen hadn't coughed up five runs in Game 1 of the ALCS, the Rangers would be looking at a sweep of the Yankees tonight. Regardless, Tommy Hunter (who?) goes up against a Yankees offense hungrier than Joey Chestnut at a tapas bar. If the Rangers shut the Yankees down again, expect jeers in New York and cheers in Philly. And cheesesteaks. I prefer Jim's.

After Texas started pulling away last night, did you notice the New York "faithful" deserting the stadium last night faster than lemmings off the Titanic? And on national TV? During prime time? Yet that won't besmirch the sterling reputation of Yankees fans. Assholes.

photo by Mark Humphrey/AP

324 comments:

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Orel said...

The first game of the day was entirely unsatisfactory. Let's hope the Rangers can do some damage.

MR. F said...

So strange. I don't hate both teams playing. I only hate one. How can this be?

Dusty Baker said...

Tommy fuckin' who? Who dat?

[Fill in appropriate level of Hate here]

Orel said...

Break time. Will return for Game Two.

Josh S. said...

Hey guys, what's up?

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

GIRARDI: Hey A.J., how'd you like to pitch in Game 4?
BURNETT: Joe, I'd love it!
GIRARDI: Well that's too bad, because you suck, you get into hissy fits with one of the greatest catchers of all time, and you look like you should be closing games for the Giants. Hit the pine.

(dream sequence ends)

BOB NEWHART: Honey, you won't believe the dream I just had!

MR. F said...

You're Bob Newhart?

Josh S. said...

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Burnett is a Kaminoan.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

@Mr F - I'm just stating how highly unlikely it is that Girardi comes to his senses and sits Burnett.

rbnlaw said...

This yer boy, rbn.
Deuces.

Dusty Baker said...

Fuck! I have to wait 32 minutes for some more baseball?

Josh S. said...

Y'know, I've been thinking, the Yankees aren't so bad.

KIDDING!

Put down the broken beer bottles.

Orel said...

Heyman reports Lilly 3 years/$33M.

Spanky said...

I am back and I am pissed. Some heads are gonna fucking roll.

Orel said...

Starting with A.J. Burnett's, probably.

Spanky said...

Looks like everyone got tapped out on the Gnats game

Spanky said...

FUCK THE YANKMES

Spanky said...

FUCK YOU RON DARLING

Orel said...

Another pitching duel?

Spanky said...

A.J. Burnett?

Josh S. said...

3/33? Eeeehhh.

Spanky said...

BEAN THE MOFO

Orel said...

Cano HR. I think we'll have a review.

Spanky said...

Instant Replay on that homer

Orel said...

3/$33 will look reasonable by April.

Orel said...

No IR???

Orel said...

Robinson Canody Ross?

Spanky said...

Why have the rule if they are not going to use it. fucking idiots

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Bud Selig still gets 40 rods to the hog's head and that's the way he likes it.

Spanky said...

Hells no!

Orel said...

Wow, Berkman just crushed that one. 2-0 NYY

Spanky said...

That's fucking foul

Spanky said...

HaHaHa no Homerun for you Berkmutt

Orel said...

Awww, no HR. Poor Berky.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Fuckman Lance Berking.

Spanky said...

Too bad MOFO

MR. F said...

Lancing man Berkfuck.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Laceman Ing Berkfuck

Orel said...

Lurk Berkman

Orel said...

Burnett plunks Molina!

Orel said...

I don't get AL teams that bunt.

MR. F said...

It's for nostalgia.

Spanky said...

Come on Ebonic Andrews

Spanky said...

Tied it up

Orel said...

Nice D by Teixeira prevents second run from scoring. 1-1 tie.

Orel said...

A-Rod triple clutch! 2-1 TEX

Spanky said...

More runs baby

FUCK YOU YANKMES

MR. F said...

FUCK THE YANKEES!

Orel said...

Brett Gardner = East Coast MSB

Josh S. said...

Miller and Morgan were really arguing about the Cano HR. miller said it was worth reviewing. Morgan "just knew" it was a home run.

Ass.

karen said...

You know the saying NY...Don't mess with Texas!!

Epale, Everyone!

It's nice to be able to relax and enjoy a game these days

Spanky said...

FUCK YOU JOE MORGAN

Spanky said...

Hey Karen

MR. F said...

Joe Morgan. What a joke.

Orel said...

Yo Karen! Hopefully this game won't be as frustrating as the earlier one.

Orel said...

JETERGASM

Spanky said...

Jeter can eat Caca

MR. F said...

That triple just cured some kid's cancer. True story.

Orel said...

nice, Mr. F

Spanky said...

I burned my fucking popcorn. How the fuck do you do that with presets is what I am debating right now

karen said...

Game tied.

Shit

Orel said...

Granderson RBI makes it 2-2.

Spanky said...

FUCKYOUJETER

Orel said...

Spanky, your microwave must have extra grit and hustle.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

The architects "just knew" the Titanic was unsinkable.

Scientists "just knew" the Hindenberg would not collapse.

Secret Service "just knew" nobody would try to kill Lincoln, McKinley, or Kennedy.

karen said...

@Orel--The way things are going, it remains to be seen

Orel said...

Balk!

Spanky said...

Fucking alarm went off and shit. there must have been moisture up in that bish

MR. F said...

Damn, Spanky.

It's a conspiracy.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

This is what happens when you trust a pitcher named Tommy.

karen said...

C'mon Vlad, it's time for you to do something

Spanky said...

FUCK YOU ACT II

Orvilles came out Wonderful though

Spanky said...

Interference!





Wait. NO

MR. F said...

A-Rod was just faking that HBP.

karen said...

A-Roid gets nailed!! YAY

Spanky said...

Why waste hitting A-roid in the robs when you can bean the bastard

karen said...

Yuck. Davey Johnson.

Spanky said...

Mike Maddux-The other brother

MeanieBreanie said...

Epale Y'all
Looks like tonight will be another spitting, nail picking, nail biting, crotch scratcher.

GO RANGERS!

Spanky said...

Hey Breanie

Spanky said...

Hear the bat go Swish

MR. F said...

Hello MeanieBreanie!

Spanky said...

I want to punch Berkmutt in the face

MeanieBreanie said...

Hello Spank, Mr. F et al. Hope everyone is doing well tonight.

DIE YANKEES DIE!

karen said...

Epale, Meanie!

MeanieBreanie said...

Epale Karen - How are you and Dusty Blue?

Orel said...

Now THAT'S a gun!

MR. F said...

Lancefuck maning berk.

Spanky said...

Oh NO! The bullpen.




Wait. This ain't the Dodgers

Orel said...

Let the crotch scratching commence!

karen said...

Meanie--It's raining here and Dusty Blue is not happy. He doesn't like having to go out to potty when it's wet outside. He loves the snow, but hates the rain :(

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Lacefuck man berking.

Spanky said...

FUCK THIS MSB

MeanieBreanie said...

Those friggin Yankme bastards. I knew they would not take last night's loss lying down. TX definitely has work to do.

@Karen - poor Dusty. My dogs are weird they love rain. To them it's a party. They have a covered patio but I have to make them come in.

Spanky said...

Damn, Could have been worse though.

karen said...

Great play at 3rd!

Spanky said...

Yes.

karen said...

Meanie--Has Nikita ever been in the snow? Dusty will dig deep holes in the snow and stick his head in them!

Spanky said...

They need to put some Elmer's in those bats.

MeanieBreanie said...

@Karen
Yes, when I lived in Dallas we were good for it at least once a year if not several times. She loved it! She would play and sleep in it. Baron on the other hand would just look at me like "Oh mom, do I have to go out". She may be lucky if she sees it again in her lifetime. SA has not had any snow since 1984.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Fucking Mitch Moreland.

Josh S. said...

I hate seeing good camera equipment get wrecked, but that's a cool shot.

MR. F said...

Moreland? More like.... less... water.

Yeah.

MeanieBreanie said...

Elvis on da base.

Spanky said...

Mr.F is on fire.

Spanky said...

Ebonic Andrews

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Ebonics Shawn Green, Ebonics Mercedes Lewis, Ebonics Elvis Andrews. How many other athletes have Ebonics names?

Spanky said...

I thought Mercedes Lewis was a transvestite.

MeanieBreanie said...

Ebonics BenJarvus Green-Ellis but whose complaining? He won a game for me. The best one though is Orangejello (pronounced Orangelo) A nurse at Parkland claimed a woman named her son that cuz she saw the name on a box and liked it.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

It's actually spelled "Marcedes."

Spanky said...

SpankJarvus. I like the sound of that

Spanky said...

That fan is retarded

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Alright, Hamilton, if you get a hit here, I'll treat you to a nice non-alcoholic beer.

karen said...

HaHa Gardener. It's not fun when fans get in your way, is it??

Spanky said...

Exactly Mlasf. Marcedes=Mercedes

Tranny

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Gameday calls that pitch a knuckle-curve. Do people still throw knuckle-curves?

Spanky said...

That was no good

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Argh, you suck Hamilton. Go back to rehab with Belly.

MR. F said...

Damnit! Come on guys!

karen said...

Holland looks like he's maybe 14

Spanky said...

Hit Jeter in the face!

karen said...

Jeter's mashing tonite =(

Spanky said...

You see. Hitting Jeter in the face would have been more satisfying. Like a snicker.

MeanieBreanie said...

Elvis looks ecstatic that Jeter is on his base. WTF?

karen said...

C'mon Holland. Sack up!

Spanky said...

The other brother.

Take a drink Y'all

MR. F said...

Jeter doubles! In related news, a starving third world village gets a Dharma Initative supply box parachuted to them. Dharma beer for all!

karen said...

Ahhhh, poor Markie!!!!

Spanky said...

That's a shame

MeanieBreanie said...

I hate the Yankees but cannot hate Texeira. He is an ex-Ranger, did a good job, and seemed like a down to earth guy. On the other hand the hate for A-Rod floweth over.

Josh S. said...

END THIS FUCKING INNING ALREADY!!

Spanky said...

This inning is taking fucking long

Spanky said...

Fuck you A-Roid. HaHa

Spanky said...

Fuck yeah Josh

Orel said...

A-Rod inning-ending DP. How unJeteresque.

MR. F said...

Clutch GIDP!

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

INNING FUCKING ENDED

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

It's raining men.



No, wait, it's just raining.

Orel said...

Yeah, well not anymore it ain't.

MeanieBreanie said...

Karen and I wish it were raining men ;~)

Spanky said...

Seems like you minx need a fucking monsoon

MR. F said...

I have no idea what a minx is.

MeanieBreanie said...

Come on Rangers, where is that hitting mojo you had last night?

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Minx: pert, flirtatious, or impudent young woman

Spanky said...

Kinda like a Lynx Mr.F only with a M and an I

karen said...

Alright Rangers, RISP

MeanieBreanie said...

@Spank
A monsoon of unmarried men

LASF
I guess that would be an accurate description except the young part.

Spanky said...

HOMEFUCKINGRUNMOFO'S

karen said...

GGGOOONNNEEEE!!!!

Orel said...

BENGIE

MeanieBreanie said...

Rangers have their hitting mojo back - YEAH!

MR. F said...

It's all about the Bengie!!

karen said...

Bronx Cheer for Yankmes

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Hooray for Bengie Molina!

MR. F said...

I like Spanky's definition.

Josh S. said...

The "I'm sorry I was a Giant" Tour rolls on!

Josh S. said...

Gozer was a nimble little minx.

Spanky said...

Now I've got that fucking song in my head

MeanieBreanie said...

A black fly gets in the house and finds its way to my Sauvignon Blanc. Isn't it ironic don't you think?

Spanky said...

Did you still drink it is what i am wondering

MR. F said...

It's like raining men on your wedding day!

MeanieBreanie said...

There wasn't much left. I tossed it and poured a fresh one. Do you really think I would drink something with a fly in it?

Spanky said...

No. Maybe.If you're buzzed enough,Yes.

Spanky said...

They need to put papier mache on dem bats.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Lots of thunder and lightning.

MeanieBreanie said...

Mr. F
If only I knew now what I didn't know then. I got married at a hotel. I was in my wedding dress riding down the elevator with my dad and a hot guy riding with us. He looks at me and says "I have a limo out front, it's not too late" Dad looked at him and said "Are you kidding? I've waited a long time to get rid of her". I wish I would have taken the limo :~)

Orel said...

Boone Logan? Who?

Fred's Brim said...

wooot!!

Spanky said...

ANOTHERHOMERUNMOFO'S

MeanieBreanie said...

Another one for Texas - Yee Haw!

Orel said...

Sounds like a movie, MB.

MR. F said...

Wow, MB. True story?

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Texas/San Francisco World Series!

(cries)

MR. F said...

Non-alcoholic beer for all!!!

MeanieBreanie said...

Orel, more like a really bad soap opera.

karen said...

It's mighty quiet at Yankme Stadium

MeanieBreanie said...

Yes, true story!

MR. F said...

Philly will beat SF, MR.LASF.

Does it ever bother you that you have an "SF" in your name?

MR. F said...

Well, I guess only in abbreviations. I'll stop abbreviating your name, Mr. LA Sports Guy.

Fred's Brim said...

Wilton's brother keeps it going!

Spanky said...

Vlade corrale Holmes

karen said...

Meanie--Another thing we have in common...a soap opera marriage

Mr. LA Sports Guy said...

What's that, Mr F?

MeanieBreanie said...

Karen and I
Sisters from another mother

MeanieBreanie said...

LASF
Would it really be such a horrible thing to pull for TX in a WS?

Fred's Brim said...

score til they bleed!

Spanky said...

MOREFUCKINGRUNSMOFO'S

Mr. LA Sports Guy said...

You already know Texas is the only team I can root for in this whole mess.

MR. F said...

Nice one, MR.LASG.

I'm going to call you that from now on, even if your official handle is "Mr. LA Sports Fan."

I don't want to type out "SF" on a Dodger guy's name.

MeanieBreanie said...

TX shaming the Yankee bastards - LOVE IT!

Spanky said...

WHYTHEFUCKAMIEXCITED

FUCKYOUGNATS

Fred's Brim said...

@MB, back an hour or so: I think they were twins, Oranjello and Lemonjello!

karen said...

The important question is can Texas beat the Gnats??

Spanky said...

Shut up Karen! HaHa

MeanieBreanie said...

FB - That was a true story. I'm sure Lemonjello is out running the streets along with their other sibling Jelloshot.

Mr. LA Sports Guy said...

Danny DeVito loves him some limoncello.

Fred's Brim said...

mmmm jelloshots

MeanieBreanie said...

Not to worry, TX will muster up the hate for those annoying Gnats.

Fred's Brim said...

who do the yanks have singing? the remaining Ramone?

karen said...

Spanky--I know, I was afraid to voice it

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