Tuesday, October 19, 2010

A Tale of Two Pities

Who do you want to win the NLCS?
Giants
Phillies
  
pollcode.com free polls

When faced with two unpalatable alternatives, my mind can tell my heart which way to root...but my heart wins out when I'm watching the game. Turns out I want the Phillies to beat the Giants.

But some of you don't share that sentiment:

Josh S.:
I can't do it. I've anguished over this for a few days now, but I cannot bring myself to root for the Phillies. Even against the Giants. Those f***faces have squashed our nuts and our dreams in a vice for two years straight (three, if you count the regular season squashing this year)! I hate them. I want to punch their hillbilly valley girl manager in the throat.

The Giants, on the other hand, haven't done remotely anything to us (other than be the Giants, which, admittedly, is a heinous offense) in yeeeeeaaars. They're a terrible team who are only there because the Padres choked away the West.

I'm not saying I don't hate the Giants. Far from it. I want to set Wilson's beard on fire. It's just that I cannot abide the PH***ING PHILLIES going to another World Series. Let the Giants have this one. Then, I will dance on their broken souls as they are once again stomped by the American League champ.

Fred's Brim:
Josh, I am with you on this one. I wasn't sure how I'd feel when these two matched up, but I figured I could muster enough hateHateHATE! for the Giants to pull for the Phillies. But I get absolutely no joy seeing the Phillies win, even if it's at the Giants' expense. I just can't do it. I only get more mad at the Phillies when they lose to the Giants. That's the only direction this relationship can go at this point
Dusty Baker:
Hate to differ from a brother (but we can agree on how SHITTY Glendale Blvd was this morning), but I have to root for Phiws in this instance. I just couldn't stand the thought of them going to the WS while we're at home pulling our peters, and of the satisfaction their fans would get out of it. I guess it boils down to a fan thing; given far proximity, and general lack of attention the Phiws' fans pay to us anyway, I don't have to deal with any anti-Dodger gloating in that scenario. If Gnats go that far, we'll never hear the end of the "At least we went to the WS" taunts from the MCC types. I am too fragile for that reality.

As much as I loathe Victorino, though, and aforementioned hillbilly valley girl manager, I actually can't truly hate on the likes of Utley or Howard or Rollins or even Werth. All they did is go out and crush our dreams...I mean go out and win fair and square. They were the better team the last two post-seasons when playing us; it hurts, but it's true. I'd just rather them get the satisfaction of going to the WS. Plus, I hate a lot more people on the Jints, Timmeh primarily among them but also that fat f***ing fat headed fat f***er KFP f***, as well as Uribe and smug-faced f***er Burrell and all their god damned medium hitting white guys and Zito (wait, can I hate him if he's not on the post-season roster).

Steve Dittmore:
I'm going to be contrarian here, but hear me out.

I dislike the Giants as much as the next person, really since Joe Morgan in 1982. But I also lived in the Philly area a few years ago while teaching at another institution and before the Phillies started their run.

Phillies fans are downright insufferable. The weather is miserable. The fans are miserable. Everything about Angrydelphia is genuinely miserable (except the Liberty Bell, UPenn, Reading St. Market, Independence Hall and the world's best children's hospital).

I have no problem cheering for the Giants if only to make the miserable lives of Philadelphians more miserable.

Wow, so much passion for something the Dodgers aren't remotely involved in. Tell us which way you're leaning in the poll and comments!

UPDATE:

Mr. C's eloquent summation:

Mr. C:
The best thing about the Giants playing the Phils is one of them must lose.

The worst thing about the Giants playing the Phils is one of them must win.

That is all.

UPDATE:

More voices:

what_difference_does_it_make:

As much as I hate the Phillies, (and I f***ing HATE the Phillies, every time I see Shane Victorino’s Face I want to throw something at my television set) I would like the Giants to win the NLCS…and yes I absolutely hate the Giants but here’s my rationale: I hope the Giants win only so that a team as stacked as the Phillies could lose to a team from the shittiest division (sometimes referred to as the Minor League West). Also, Giants fans would come sooooo close to winning it all only to get swept by the Yankees (yes my AL team is the Yankees…shhhhh don’t tell anyone) in the World Series. Also I would like to see the Panda fall on his ass trying to make a routine play and get tagged out in thee most embarrassing way….that would REALLY make my day and I also hope that Brian Wilson gets bombed by Teixiera to score a Grand Slam and the ball would land in the lake where a Giants fan tries to catch it, only to get hit in the head….Oh and Also (of course this wouldn’t happen but one can dream) best case scenario is that both teams somehow LOSE and are both eliminated because of some random technicality….

el montanero:

i can't let recent postseason disappointments cloud my judgement. yes, the last two nlcs were like a punch to the gut and a kick to the balls at the same time...but the giants are the giants. they're joe morgan, juan marichal and his bat, asshole bobby thompson, 1951, 1962, 1971, 1981, 1990, bitchass matt williams, jeff kent, pumpkinhead schmidt, the hell that was the 2002 world series that made me root for the f***ing angels...the angels!!!, tim worrell, the fact that they play in the city home to the snobbiest, most self-important t***s in the world (though new yorkers could argue that claim), and so-help-me barry balco bonds.

philadelphia is america's taint. their fans and this edition of the phillies team are horrid. and yes, shane victorino's face causes anal leakage. all that said, they're STILL not the giants.

21 comments:

Josh S. said...

Ah, but see, I don't WANT either of them to win. You really should have Mr. C's comment from yesterday in this post too. He summed things up rather nicely.

Mr. Customer said...

I can't actually bring myself to vote for either.

Dusty Baker said...

This morning the first thought in my mind was to post "Fuck giANTS" in this space. Lo and behold, this post presents the perfect opportunity to express my deeply-held sentiment. Thus I give you:

Fuck giANTS!

And I voted so, accordingly.

Dusty Baker said...

A Tale of Two Pities

"They were the worst of times and they were the worst of times..."

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

My dream scenario is that the Giants make it to the World Series but lose to Texas while Bengie Molina is named MVP. But alas, I cannot take that risk. The Giants would only be four wins away from a championship, and I cannot bring myself to risk cheering for them when they just might win it all. Then I would just look back at this point in time with shame and indignity, wondering how I could have been so juvenile as to not hurl obscenities at pitchers who bear strong resemblances to women and third basemen who bear strong resemblances to the Blob.

Dusty Baker said...

Exactly - my sports psyche is too fragile to bet it all on giANTS getting there but losing. Way too close for comfort. I applaud those who are brimming in confidence enough to take this position, but I am just a shell of a man after this painful season.

Spanky said...

Cheese Steak or Tenderloin? You make the call.

Steve Sax said...

I'm rooting for the Phillies over the Giants.

But thanks, to the four of you and for Orel, for giving me the material for tomorrow's NLCS GT!

Steve Sax said...

it figures that "spanky" would mention tender loins.

Spanky said...

*ouch!*

Orel said...

Can someone point to Mr. C's comment of summarization?

Mr. Customer said...

@Orel

I think this one is what Josh is referring to.

Orel said...

Thanks, updated!

what_difference_does_it_make said...

As much as I hate the Phillies, (and I fucking HATE the Phillies, every time I see Shane Victorino’s Face I want to throw something at my television set) I would like the Giants to win the NLCS…and yes I absolutely hate the Giants but here’s my rationale: I hope the Giants win only so that a team as stacked as the Phillies could lose to a team from the shittiest division (sometimes referred to as the Minor League West). Also, Giants fans would come sooooo close to winning it all only to get swept by the Yankees (yes my AL team is the Yankees…shhhhh don’t tell anyone) in the World Series. Also I would like to see the Panda fall on his ass trying to make a routine play and get tagged out in thee most embarrassing way….that would REALLY make my day and I also hope that Brian Wilson gets bombed by Teixiera to score a Grand Slam and the ball would land in the lake where a Giants fan tries to catch it, only to get hit in the head….Oh and Also (of course this wouldn’t happen but one can dream) best case scenario is that both teams somehow LOSE and are both eliminated because of some random technicality….

what_difference_does_it_make said...

Oh, and after Teixiera hits the grand slam, after running the bases I hope he busts a Casey Blake and imitates Brian Wilsons infamous pose....

Fred's Brim said...

where can I write in Knee Cancer?

MR. F said...

PHUCKING PHILLIES BETTER PHUCK UP THE GIANTS.

Dusty Baker said...

@What Difference re Victorino

Throw at your TV set's body,not its head! Throw at your TV set's body,not its head!

what_difference_does_it_make said...

@Dusty Baker LMAO!

el montanero said...

i can't let recent postseason disappointments cloud my judgement. yes, the last two nlcs were like a punch to the gut and a kick to the balls at the same time...but the giants are the giants. they're joe morgan, juan marichal and his bat, asshole bobby thompson, 1951, 1962, 1971, 1981, 1990, bitchass matt williams, jeff kent, pumpkinhead schmidt, the hell that was the 2002 world series that made me root for the fucking angels...the angels!!!, tim worrell, the fact that they play in the city home to the snobbiest, most self-important twats in the world (though new yorkers could argue that claim), and so-help-me barry balco bonds.

philadelphia is america's taint. their fans and this edition of the phillies team are horrid. and yes, shane victorino's face causes anal leakage. all that said, they're STILL not the giants.

Steve Sax said...

Orel, glad to see you've worked el montanero's "anal leakage" theme into today's ALCS GT.