Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measures

I never thought we'd be here, on the precipice of watching the San Francisco Giants win their first World Series ever. But having blown past the Phillies with a couple of decent starters, just enough offense to win, and hot biorhythms from players like Cody Ross, it does indeed appear that the Giants are a team of destiny, and the 2010 World Championship will be theirs.

Man, that would be a disappointment for us Dodger fans.

And so, we Sons are going to pull out the last arrow in our quiver. We will sacrifice a Son in order to have the Rangers win the World Series.

You read that right. At the last SoSG staff meeting, we all drew straws, and one of us drew the short straw, and therefore agreed to be served up to the baseball gods in order to keep the Giants from winning. If the baseball gods will take our sacrifice as a worthy gesture, then we are happy to submit. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one Son. (Plus, with the spiraling costs of health care benefits, our CFO thinks it's a fiscally prudent idea.)

It's going to be painful, of course. No one likes to lose a brother. But we're desperate. And I mean, Donner Party desperate (though we're not going to eat him, just sacrifice him).

Stay tuned for more info tomorrow morning.

18 comments:

Fred's Brim said...

That's cold

NicJ said...

I know who I'm hoping for.

Bwahahahaha!

(rubs hands together)

Josh S. said...

Y'know, there's a team that just made the freakin' Yankees look like chumps standing right there feeling awfully slighted by this post.

(Unless this is meant as a reverse jinx, in which case, carry on.)

MR. F said...

I appreciate that the Sons know the gravity of the situation.

Can we take part in the pagan ritual? I imagine it will be hate-filled.

NicJ said...

Wait who is the fattest? Baseball Gods like fatties.

karina said...

So, we have to lose a Son. This is not cool at all, STOOPID Giants.

This is all your fault.

:_(

MR. F said...

Fattest? Gotta be Lasorda, right?

Fred's Brim said...

Will we sacrifice another next spring to bring the Dodgers a title? I think if we can only sacrifice one, we should save them for that.

rbnlaw said...

I'm gonna miss Delino.

Fred's Brim said...

really?





sorry DD, just kidding :)

Fred's Brim said...

So is SOSG a formal tontine? Or just de facto? Do you each have Fighting SOSGfish tattoos?

el montanero said...

Kill the pig! Cut his throat! Kill the pig! Bash him in!

MeanieBreanie said...

In the words of
Disraeli "Desperation is sometimes as powerful an inspirer as genius".

Whatever it takes sons, do whatever it takes.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

I'm going to miss Lasorda. He was a trooper. Next on the block, AC.

Mr. Customer said...

The "Czar" moniker is appropriate. The man knows how to preside over a public drawing and quartering.

Spanky said...

My death is an honor to the Huron, Take Me!

Dusty Baker said...

These are grave times, indeed. Some serious decisions need to be made and our actions carefully considered.

That said, Lasorda is a dead man walking! *takes up pitchfork*

J. Steve said...

Can't we just offer up the corpse of Pedro? Is that still around? I could also recommend a couple current Dodgers I wouldn't mind sacrificing....