Friday, September 04, 2009

Let's All Fill In Ken Gurnick's Sentence

From Ken Gurnick's latest article on mlb.com, the fourth paragraph:

Acquired Monday night for a player to be named -- which might or might not be infielder Tony Abreu -- [Jon] Garland and fellow arrival Vicente Padilla give the Dodgers six starters (Randy Wolf, Chad Billingsley, Clayton Kershaw and Hiroki Kuroda the others, with Kuroda returning Sunday from a concussion).

What? What does Jon Garland give us (besides a win tonight, splitting this series against the Diamondbacks)?

  • a) an extra unexpected win against a sub-.500 team 19 games back
  • b) insurance in case Kuroda can't return
  • c) insurance against the headcase that is Vicente Padilla
  • d) another guy with slight facial hair, to make Casey Blake comfortable
  • e) syphilis and/or gonorrhea
  • f) none of the above; try ___________________________
  • g) all of the above

SoSG readers, I leave it to you.

11 comments:

Fred's Brim said...

it's very much under the radar, but I think Tronny is the most bearded Dodger these days. I would say even Russ has a bigger face carpet than Casey. That said, Casey is so much man that he could probably flex his face and grow more beard whenever he wants to. He's just letting them have some beard power.

and to answer the question, i would go with F - I am thinking that if he does well down the stretch, they may keep him around for next year, and then B, because if Kokimon cant come back, they sure as hell don't want to trust Vicente with a playoff start

Gagne's lucky glasses said...

It is far to early in the morning on a Friday before a holiday weekend for me to come up with a clever answer for (F)...but I want you all to know I will be trying.

Josh S. said...

Uhhh...the sentence IS complete:

Garland and Padilla give the Dodgers six starters.

Now, it's horrible grammar, mind you. It should read, "The acquisitions of Garland and Padilla give the Dodgers six starters." or "With the acquisitions of Garland and Padilla, the Dodgers now have six starters."

Wicks said...

The answer is F:

Garland gives the Dodgers a head start on their Christmas decor for this year.....haha....get it?

rbnlaw said...

We expect Padilla to be a starter as well as a reserve infielder?

I did not know that.

rbnlaw said...

Check that. I was thinking of BelliYard.

As GLG said, it's early and I've only had 15 oz of coffee.

rbnlaw said...

Plus, I'm saving myself for the Kill Thread.

Dr. Geek said...

Someone did not spell gonorrhea correctly.

And if you don't know how to spell it, how can you bo so sure you don't have it?!

Mr. Customer said...

F) ...A keyboardist to complete their Allman Brothers tribute band?

Steve Sax said...

@Josh, yes, the sentence is correct, albeit awkward. But there's gotta be something else we get besides just a state of being...

Dusty Baker's Toothpick said...

Garland is a guy who has pitched and won in the post season. I think Garland's arrival makes Padilla dispensable. He's a mediocre pitcher with a bad attitude.

Colletti (or Ng) should bring Garland back for next season.