SoSG readers (except Karina, bless her) have been a surly bunch recently — and understandably so. Losing five of eight to some of the worst teams in baseball in the last week of the regular season will do that to a team's fans.
With the Dodgers backing into the post-season like a garbage truck in reverse — beep, beep, beep — we offer a few predictions of what would happen if the playoffs started today at Dodger Stadium.
Feel free to add your own in the comments. It's therapeutic!
- The Dodgers hit into three double plays — in the same inning.
- Charles Steinberg orders "Don't Stop Believing" to be played between every inning. Latter part of game resembles They Shoot Horses, Don't They?
- Special section on each stadium level reserved for fans in fetal position, brought to you by Kaiser Permanente.
- Pre-game ceremony honoring Washington Generals. Ned Colletti eyes possible recruits.
- Tradition of kids taking the field with Dodger players continues; this time, kids stay on field, Dodgers return to dugout.
- Ray Maytorena hires Keystone Kops to patrol outfield pavilions. Their antics inspire the Dodgers to play better.
- Fans get bored of beach balls, throw sand instead.
- TV broadcast of game preempted for "Three Stooges" marathon. Or is it?
- Pitching change sponsored by Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs.
- Between-innings blooper reel on Diamond Vision is just a replay of the last inning.
- A fan runs onto the field, is allowed to stay. Eventually gets bored, wanders off.
- Dodger batters look at 81 consecutive strikes; express post-game frustration that a pitcher could keep throwing like that all game long.
- Fans arrive early; Dodgers arrive late.