Friday, September 25, 2009

Brimology

Hi kids, my name is O-Dog. My friend Willie Harris and I are here to teach you about proper baseball cap brim etiquette. As you can see, the white piping on my cap indicates I'm wearing our batting-practice cap. This cap comes in small, medium and large and features a snug fit and, most notably, a curved brim. You cannot uncurve this brim. Do not waste your time trying. Willie is wearing an authentic game cap. The game cap offers brim versatility. Willie is currently sporting a flat brim, à la my teammate George Sherrill. A flat brim may be molded into a more traditional curved brim by repeatedly bending it. Note that unbending an already curved brim takes some effort, maybe even a steam iron. Cheaper hats that have a piece of cardboard instead of PVC inside the brim may in fact never be flattened once they have been curved. Please remember all this, kids, as you go to school today. Thank you for your time.

photo by Jon SooHoo/Dodgers

13 comments:

Dusty Baker said...

Excellent Brimology notes.

Just had a memory of, as a kid, conditioning my cap (Dodgers, mesh) by bending the rim backward and tucking it under the hat size adjuster thingy and leaving it for a few days. Heh, saying that then reminded me of the neanderthal adjusting technology that involved the peg-and-hole method.

Fred's Brim said...

let's not forget cutting out that stiff mesh from inside the panels behind the logo. that'll avoid the Joe Torre/dad look

the cardboard brims can get mushy if they get too wet so if you are trying to formfit the wool ones by running it under water, try not to get the brim wet

and the old fitted Dodger caps had green under the brim, but now they are white for some reason. I prefer the old green

Orlando Zepeda said...

the low-profile/low crown hats have black under the brim.

low profile = another way to avoid the torre/dad look

Dusty Baker said...

Torre's bobblehead has his hat on his head so it looks normal, not the dad look. I wonder if front office working on the bobble design quietly made this design decision the way an artist painting a subject leaves off the mole or harelip of his subject?

And at what point does one cross over from wearing one's ball cap correctly to the old man/dad look. Is it subtle, over time? Is it overnight?

KempKershaw said...

Willie Harris looks absolutely thrilled to be there.

Fred's Brim said...

I am guessing Harris just listened to Orlando talk at 95mph for 45 straight minutes

Ken said...

must be a slow news day...

Steve Sax said...

Suddenly, Rob Dibble bursts into the room.

"Come on, Willie!"

Dusty Baker said...

He looks more sullen than Pierre usually does.

Josh S. said...

"If my friend Willie here looks a little dazed, it's because my other friend Russell knocked him clean on his...uh...brim."

Dusty Baker said...

FB

Totally remember the green underbill. Of course, that and the rest of the build and material of the cap also meant it made my head about 432 Kelvin the the Arkansas heat and humidity as a lad. But it was worth it *flashes LA sign*

Nic j said...

For the under-bill color it depends, the newer performance fabric 5950's (on field caps) have the black under bill. The green underbills that they still make now are 5950's but they are wool. I totally agree DB that the wool ones are hotter than a Mofo, not to mention they scratch the hell out of your forehead.

I have a 5950 low crown and i like them, they are just a little more shallow.

Nic j said...

Speaking of hats i went to the LA county fair and while i was walking around i was excited to see a giant jerky stand a rushed over to view that vast selection of dried meats. I was ready to make my purchase and looked up to see the guy working the counter was wearing a black cap with an interlocking "S and F" in orange. He asked me what i would like and i told him "well i was going to buy some jerky from you but now that i see you are wearing a giants cap i think i'll have to find some other place." He laughed but i was dead serious and walked away.

My hate runs deep.