Random rantings and ravings about the Los Angeles Dodgers, written by a small consortium of rabid Dodger fans. With occasional comments on baseball, entertainment, pop culture, and life in general.
Hiroki Kuroda (10-12, 3.39) vs. J.A. Happ (5-2, 3.21).
We aren't the champions my friends and we gave up fighting a long time ago.....
0-21, baby! Nothing sexier than 69 wins!
You are too good for us Kuroda.....don't let your interpreter say a word...just..... go....don't look back I want to remember you with that solid ERA.
I can't even muster a good lineup gag.
I vote like Monte Brewster"None of the Above"
Wait that wasn't a gag?
69 losses is sexier than 69 wins!!!!!
Monte Brewster is very appropriate right now. The train he installed in the outfield obviously was the inspiration for the Minute Maid Park train.I would really enjoy seeing Torre completely lose by jumping on that train and trying to ride it out of town. Though, come to think of it, that does seem like a stunt Bowa is much more likely to pull.
My god we're surly already.I like it.
"Wait that wasn't a gag?"Well played, Paul. Well played.(cries)
Bestest video ever?It sure brightened my day.
Josh, that video hits dangerously close to home for many of us.BRILLIANT. Love Spock throwing his sign, *West Coast* style.That Katy Perry song was my summer song this year, cause I had nothing else, so this video puts the bow on the tune.
Not Entirely Health-6Not Expecting a Trap-4Not Carlos Santana-5Not a Triple Crown Thread-9Not Even Trying-8Not Manny-7Not Better Than Loney-3Not Going to Have a 1.076 OPS Again-2Kuroda-1
Thought I'd try the gag lineup for once...
Kuroda = not much to complain about.Oh wait, I just jinxed him, didn't I?
"Not Carlos Santana"Heh.
Can't watch video. Must conserve processing power.
@ Mr. F I doubt much can affect the Dodgers now.
Holy crap, that video rules.
WHORES. ALL OF YOU.
Whore Island. Population: Mr. LA Sports Fan.
I resent that.
I'm not from Whore Island proper, but it's still considered Whore Island adjacent.
I admit, I am a whore. But a whore with a heart of gold. Like Rod Blagojevich..
I suppose the Sons wouldn't want to change the sidebar to read "Top Whores," would they?
What do I get for ten dollars?
An authentic strand of his hair.Oh, sorry, I thought you were asking what you could get from Blago for $10.
But it all helps the children.His children. But they're still children.
The ability to park 2/3 of your car at Dodger Stadium.
HEY WHY THERE NO DODGERS OR DBACKS ON POLL
I if you do go for in for Blago's hair, don't leave it lying around. That shit will take root and then you'll never be able to get rid of it.
Seriously though, who voted for the Giants?That's a paddlin'.
No FULL METAL JACKET fans out there? Or Luke Skywalker fans (the rapper, not the Jedi)?
http://wonderwall.msn.com/tv/snoop-dogg-inspires-katy-perry-s-creativity-1867.videoBushwick Bill style:http://tinyurl.com/2fvf555Josh started it! *points, accusingly*
Coincidentally, you can also get a paddlin' for that $10.
Money well spent!
$10 = 5/6 of a Dodger Stadium beer
With the season toast, is it too much to hope for to have these guys at least play like they're having fun? It's over! Go crazy! Steal bases! Hot dog! Do the hidden ball trick! (Also available for $10.)You can start tonight. I want to see Kemp do a Singin' in the Rain move around the flag pole on Tal's hill after making a catch.GET GOOFY, YOU BASTARDS.
Did someone call for Spock?
no shit. put don mattingly in at second base or something.
Neeebs I thought that avatar was Billy Joel.
Issue an intentional walk by licking your hand four times.
Send the winning run home on a balk.Oh wait...
No one wants to switch pants with Steve Lyons.
His pants are too full of grit.
Not Entirely Health-6Not Expecting a Trap-4Not Carlos Santana-5Not a Triple Crown Thread-9Not Even Trying-8Not Manny-7Not Better Than Loney-3Not Going to Have a 1.076 OPS Again-2Kuroda-1You mean "threat" right?While Russ isn't better than Loney, he's also probably not better than Lindsey, and is better than Blake.
That's not grit in his pants...
"Not Expecting a Trap"Jason, I just gave you a standing ovation.Very well played, sir.
So when does the football game start?
MARK LINDSAY WAS THE LEAD SINGER FOR PAUL REVERE AND THE RAIDERS!!!Only Lindsey reference I could come up with. . .until. . .LINDSAY CALIFORNIA IS THE OLIVE CAPITAL OF THE WORLD!!!
And this:Surly factor -1Indifference factor +10
***Insta Poll***Taiwan will:a) Touch your heartb) Feel like mimosasc) Produce illegible print media
Epale Everyone!@Jason...Loved your line-up
I only epale on an individual basis.
I swear it looked like Kemp missed the ball. But......I'll take it!Good catch, Matt.
Epic fuck up by Steiner and Monday. Steiner accidentally called Jamey Carroll Ryan Theriot on that great play. Monday then went on for like a minute praising Theriot's underrated range. Then, almost a full minute later, Charley apologized and said Theriot isn't playing.Wow!
Steiner and Monday are on Torre Standard Time.
LYNDSY FONSECA IS THE FUTURE DAUGHTER OF TED MOSBY!(She's also pretty good on the new Nikita.)
LINDSAY BLUTH IS THE FUTURE OF THE ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT MOVIE
LINDSAY LOHAN IS A COKED-UP SKANK!
LINDSAY DAVENPORT IS A WASHED UP TENNIS PLAYER
LINDSEY GRAHAM IS A SOUTH CAROLINA SENATOR!!!
@DB,Re: LohanNot that there's anything wrong with that.
@RBNRight. I wasn't passing judgment; just calculating my odds.
Wow, there were so many directions you might have gone with the Lindsey Graham line,
How the fuck did Ackbar get doubled up if he is so fast.DAVID CROSBY IS A COKED OUT SKANK
DAVID CROSBY IS A SPERM DONOR!Wait, am I doing this right? (The game, not the sperm donation)
DAVID CROSBY IS LIONEL HUTZ'S SPONSOR
Hey, we're not losing yet!
STEVE SAX IS A LHWG WITH A CROOKED ARM
I don't want Kuroda to go.quick poll: Nomo or Kuroda?
@Steve Sax 5:54 you say that like they lose all the time
That's a hard one Karina but I'll go with Kuroda just cause he is newer
KKemp Walks!KKemp Walks!
It's funny you said that, Sax. Real email conversation that just happened w Mrs Dusty:Mrs Dusty: I hope I can come home from work soon. What is the Dodgers score?Dusty: 0-0 after innings.Mrs Dusty: Yes!
RBNLAW ALWAYS TAKES THE HIGH ROAD, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO SENATORS AND SPERM DONATION!!!unless the LCD is funnier, then I totally go there.
BURNING MATTRESSES ARE THE FUTURE OF "PROTESTS" EVERYWHERE!!!
ALL CAPS IS THE FUTURE OF MY COMMENT POSTS!!!!
What is this strange "high road" you speak of, RBN?
It's something I do for "kicks." Because my kicks keep getting harder to find.Oooh. Another Mark Lindsay reference!!
So, what's the haps in the game right now, cause I ain't a watchin.
@karina 6:00 We DO lose all the time.This season, at least.
If it's just one guy commenting to himself, is it still "whoring?"cc: C. Moriyama
Beer status: Craaaazy!!!!11!!!Finished last summerish bottle of the season (Red Hook Rope Swing) then opened a Sam Adams Octoberfest.Haven't imploded....yet.
Fuck it. This whore is out.Gotta go eat and play softball.There will be drinking. Oh yes, there will be drinking.
DAMMIT!!Forgot to get some Rope Swing.*kicks self*
RBNLAW IS THE FUTURE OF WHORING!!
BevMo still has Rope Swing. I really liked it. Jason wasn't a huge fan, but he's jaded.cc: Jason
Dear Dodgers,Kuroda deserves you score some runs. If he pitches well, it is not enough to win the game.
Beer Status: EMPTYSurliness: RisingAsshole Alert: Defcon 2
@karina...Nomo but I don't want to see Kuroda go either
@SpankyWhat is this strange "empty" you speak of?
Time to play with my kid. Outtie for now.
Pack of cards! Playin with a full deck tonight. No joker.
Nomo pitched on Venezuelan winter league a couple of seasons ago. I went to the stadium dressed in full Dodgers gear. I gave him two standing ovations (he only picthed 1 1/3 innings).People stare at me but I didn't care, it was the least I could do. Gotta thanked for the memories.
Beer Status: Empty is as rare as a Lasorda comment.
It is also as rare as Spanky watching the Canadian Football League like he is doing at this moment.STOOPID DODGERS
We're ahead!!We're ahead!!!
Admiral Ackbar setting the trap!
@Karina (per your English lesson request)-Here is an example of your using "on" when it should have been "in.""Nomo pitched on Venezuelan winter league a couple of seasons ago."
My Gameday says Ethier, in play (no out)
@Spanky this guyhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Admiral_ackbar
@ KarinaHaHa, I know who he is I just meant that he made an R.B.I. My Bad. I like seeing a pic of Ackbar anytime.
@Spamky hahahaha sorry.
Kuroda's breaking alot of bats tonite
That was a bitch-ass hit. Shouldn't even count as an RBI.
Spamky say's,Kuroda has dug himself a ditch
My gameday page had a pic of the cryin' Hawaiian on the bottom right that I could not get rid of that whole inning. FUCKERS
Epale, Mr. C!
Eric Collins isn't driving me crazy like he usually does. Either I'm getting used to him or I'm not paying very good attention.Probably not paying attention.
Mr C shows up and Kemp triples!coincidence?
We're ahead again. Yay.
For some reason I don't like this guy,Mitchell
@Karina I confess I'd been lurking while keeping tabs on Hiro's bases-loaded jam, and didn't want to say anything for the sake of superstition.
@DB, karina, karenEpa, y'all.
@spankyThe "waxing" and "waning" Gibbons construction still cracks me up.Yes, I am a dork, why do you ask?
@Mr C I just wanted you to be a lucky charm tonight.
@ Mr.CDude that came from the dark regions of brain matter from when I took astronomy like 15 years ago.
Beer Status: Prognosis Negative
In the next several days, I'm going to be on travel. I'll certainly build meetings around the games and GTs as much as I can but I hope I can count on you all to up your snark factor to fill in the void. I know you can do it. Spank, I need you to up your "Oh no he didn't just say that!" factor to make up for the thing sI would normally say in this space.Lasorda, keep not doing shit.If anyone has any recommendations for restaurants or bars pls let me know. I have my eye on that Corona Cigar Co. that seems to be the Bass Pro Shops of cigars and booze.Mmmmm....booze...
Beer status: Negro Modelo
@KarinaLucky charm? Are you magically delicious?#CerealCommercialComment
Damn, Mr C...I've been sucking back Negro Modelos all week. Out now. We ALMOST had beer symmetry.
DC bound, Dusty?
@Mr CNope, Orlando, FL. Pfffffftttt.
For you Dusty I'll let it all hang out,literally. BE WARNED PEEPS!
@Dusty Baker of course I'm magical!
Yeah, just restocked the fridge today, so your loss was my gain.
what's wrong with Orlando, FL?
Speaking of symmetry, I'm really disappointed that, yesterday, when I posted the 1933 Sept. 9 Bums lineup, no one noted the symmetry of having 1B, 2B, and 3B positions batting next to each other, in that order. That shit was rich!
@KarinaNothing is inherently wrong with Orlando. Just touristy and not a place I'd choose to go on biz. I'd like to go as the aforementioned tourist so I could go to Epcott Center and the new Harry Potter land thingy, but alas, that is not in the barajas for this trip.
Orlando, FL is America's frenulum.
Hmm, that may have been a bit strong, but I'm not big on FL in general.
i thought florida was america's wang.
@ Dusty Sorry dude. I was on a roll with the make up of the dodger roster and wrote a comment I deleted that offended even me. It threw me off a bit.
New word: frenulum.@Dusty Baker if you can go to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, please have a butterbeer and have a proper toast!I read lines are getting shorter every day. Have fun and tell me ALL about it :)
I love Florida, boooooooo
we can break it off and float it on down to Venezuela if you'd like, karina.
@ nicAre you sure it is not america's chung
@NicJ hahahahahaha, not necessary. At the current rate, Florida will be soon the place with most Venezuelans in the world.*sigh*
I may be offensive and crass, but at least I'm teaching karina scientifically correct words for our naughty bits.
In other news:Flat Breezy is in
Can I clear a room, or what?
Wait, I thought Denver was the place with the most Venezuelans in the US?
@SpankyI'm laughing at the notion that you were typing something that even offended you, so you backed out of it.
@dbInstant regret, but the comment stands.In other news - shite.
@ Mr.CYou are the unwanted uncle at the picnic. HaHa
@Dusty Baker hahahahaha, Denver is not even close, Isn't tied with Anaheim and Atlanta?
I didn't get the "can I clear a room" and the exchange that followed it.
Look for my tearful "heartfelt apology" to the state of Florida coming up on C-SPAN
@karinaIt was a bit disjointed. Dusty addressed Spanky's comment from 7:28, which I responded to without specifically stating that I had just done the same thing (though I did so in my head).
We are tiedgiants and padres tied too
@ Mr. CI'll wait till you do "The View"@ KarinaCan I clear a room means no one wants to be around him so they leave
@Mr C thanks! by the way:isn't it tied...(sometimes I type too fast and eat words, it's the same with Spanish, booooo for me)
@Steve Sax tied? my Gameday is slow tonight :(
I love the drive-by comments by Sax hoping to reign the conversations back into something remotely resembling a Gamethread.
refreshed and it IS tied.:_(
@Mr C he likes to keep us in line :)
@karina, saxI really do love it, as well as amuse. I always refocus on the game. We know from long experience I am prone to tangents.
Flat Breezy allowed a run in the 7th to tie.Saxy's updates are on tape delay
@Mr CI'm glad you cleared that up. I was going to have to go into the pensieve to try to divine what conversation thread you were responding to.
Sax's drive-by, baseball game related comments are the metaphorical kick under the table.
That's exactly how I take them, and thankfully.
Waning Gibbons again.
@Dusty Baker you're the worst offender of the thread. You mention "pensieve" and my mind starts wandering.
Come on Tarjetas I don't want to lose again
Pack of cards, lighting it up!MDIL has already determined that he is the heart and soul of the team now. Stat-lickers must be rolling over in their graves. If they were deceased.
You can do this, King James, it's been a while since the last Big Game.
That was for you, MLASF^
I'll take that, not a grounder, a GIDP or a K.Well done!#celebratingsmallsteps
MDIL busting out the mad props on Barajas
What's this about Florida being America's wang?
I do like the Saints.
@MLASFI am responsible.(For the wang, not the Saints)
Canada: America's hat
On this we can agree.
JOSHWHY HAVEN'T YOU TOLD ME THERE IS A LIGHT SABER APP???
That app is old, Dusty.I don't even have an iPhone but I've played a lot with it.
Does that make South Carolina the bellybutton?
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