DBAGS 3, DODGERS 2
Where is FDR to take us off the gold standard? Or at least to replace Rick Honeycutt and advise Dodger pitching not to throw to Diamondback 1B Paul Goldschmidt. Goldilocks, after already homering two times during the series, took both Clayton Kershaw and Kenley Janson deep tonight, leading the Dbags to a 3-2 win and a sweep of the series. Even William Jennings Bryan was quoted as saying, "Damn, this Goldschmidt guy may be onto something."
Tonight's loss was the Dodgers' seventh in a row, plenty to keep us in last place in the division. Making matters worse, Adrian Gonzalez had to leave the game after re-aggravating a lingering neck issue on a play he should not have been trying to make.
Time to panic and make a run on the banks, folks.