Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Game 38 Thread: May 14 vs. Nationals, 7p

Clayton Kershaw (3-2, 1.62) vs. Dan Haren (4-3, 5.17).

The Dodgers have been quite a mystery this year (click on that link, it's worth the payoff), though certainly not much of a thriller. We lead the NL in OBP (.335), but are tied for 13th in slugging percentage (.373). A plague of injuries has afflictedour starting pitching corps. And defensive gaffes in the field abound (the Dodgers are tied for 12th in the NL in team errors).

Drop down to the individual level, and the plot thickens. Since April 14th when he was batting .300, Andre Ethier has largely disappeared, leaving a big gap in the five-hole. Luis Cruz, who batted .297 last year, is batting .087 this year (and yet Don Mattingly keeps trotting him out there). Matt Kemp has as many home runs as Dee Gordon (who has only been called up for a week or so). Josh Beckett has been completely ineffective. Ronald Belisario can't find his location. Juan Uribe can't find his sixth meal.

It's a mess out there, and whodunit isn't clear.

So tonight, on Matt Kemp Bobblehead night, we send out Kershaw to try and solve this caper, and try and even the series with the Nationals. Honestly, I don't know if this mystery is solvable alone, but Kershaw will certainly try.

One thing's for certain, however: the Dodgers' maladies aren't due to the opposing starting pitcher. That guy is obviously just a red Haren.

(Okay, I know I used this same pun before. But it's been over three years! I think the statute of limitations is up.)

87 comments:

Hideo Nomo said...

Crawford
Kemp
Gonzalez
Ethier
Ajellis
Schumaker
Punto
Gordon
Kershaw

Hideo Nomo said...

Lineup generated with a Yahtzee cup.

Orel said...

J.P. Hoornstra ‏@jphoornstra 7m

Zack Greinke is starting for the Dodgers tomorrow.

Hideo Nomo said...

Can he hit?

Steve K said...

Anybody going to the game tonight?

Spank said...

Can we take an early All Star break?

Paul said...

Nice bobble head of Kemp striking out.

Orel said...

Not I, Steve. I expect the Dodgers to have a surplus of Kemp bobbleheads.

Paul said...

You know it's bad when people don't come out for free stuff.

Paul said...

Over/under on Kemp 's homerun total? 20? 17? 15!?

Steve K said...

Well I'll be there. In town for a couple days and thought I'd catch a game. Maybe I can get two bobbleheads.

Orel said...

Pedro Gomez ‏@pedrogomezESPN 19m

LHP Jonathan Sanchez looks like he's zeroing in on a deal with the Dodgers. May need a few starts in minors before call up.

Orel said...

Enjoy, Steve! Let us know what you think of the stadium reno.

Steve Sax said...

Ethier in cleanup.

High-risk move there.

Steve K said...

Had a Ned sighting while wandering through the club level. Now I just need to find Stan wandering around.

Orel said...

Ask Ned how many years he's going to give Jonathan Sanchez.

Steve K said...

3/$37 - back-loaded of course

Jason said...

I could probably get DFA'd by the Pirates. Does that qualify me to pitch for the Dodgers?

Steve K said...

And the reno looks good. I thought it would be a lot more drastic. Wider concourses are nice and the scoreboard looks great.

Paul said...

Just thank god Ned didn't sign Cruz to a three year deal.

Steve Sax said...

Jonathan Sanchez. Wonderful, Ned goes chasing another former Giant.

Jason Schmidt
Juan Uribe
Russ Ortiz
Eugenio Velez

Dusty Baker said...

This fan throws the pitch out guy was way out of control. They may have to rethink. It's supposed to be a family atmosphere, yo!

Dusty Baker said...

At the Yard, Vinny!

Orel said...

@Sax: Don't forget a 38-year-old, 450-lb. Pablo Sandoval.

Dusty Baker said...

Turn around and look behind you, AC!

Orel said...

K

karen said...

Epale All!!

Matty batting in 2 spot. Weird looking line-up but I'm feeling hopeful.

karen said...

SoSG representing at the Yard.

Hope you guys brought the juujuu.

Spank said...

On the floor sniffing glue,Vinny!

karen said...

On the sofa self medicating, Vinny.



Dusty Baker said...

Good thing our best pitcher is going tonight. #Rancho

Orel said...

Wow, Clayton gets the first two, then single, single, walk.

karen said...

I went into the kitchen for just a minute and come back to loaded bases!!??

karen said...

Kid K gets out of it. The rest of the night should be a breeze.

*?*

Dusty Baker said...

KkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkKkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkKkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkKkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkKkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkKkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkKkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkKkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkKkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkKkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkKkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkKkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkKkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkKkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkKkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkKkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkKkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkKkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkKkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkKkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Dusty Baker said...

1000 Ks for Kid K!

Spank said...

nice

karen said...

Does it make me a bad person because I wanted Perez and Desmond to collide and wipe each other out?

I didn't think so.

karen said...

No score in Kings game.

C'mon Kings! You're playing a NoCal team. It's ass kicking time.

Steve Sax said...

3Ks in the second for Kershaw. 0-0

Steve Sax said...

Andre, that swing was fucking pathetic.

Grounds to second for an easy out

karen said...

I still can't believe Davey Johnson was Manager of the Year. What happens to these guys when they come to us? Johnson was a piece of dog shit when managing us.

cc. Uribe, Schmidt, Jones

Dusty Baker said...

Way not to work the count, Dre!

Dusty Baker said...

Crowd goes crazy for a Skip single.

Dusty Baker said...

45

Steve Sax said...

Clayton balks a Nat into scoring position, but it's all good.0-0 through 2.5.

Steve Sax said...

Joe Montana sure likes his Skechers.

Steve Sax said...

Kershaw HR right here

Cliff Beefpile said...

1-0 Kings after 1. Slava Voynov with a slapshot that gets past Niemi with 12.9 seconds left.

Steve Sax said...

Haren hits Clayton.

GET REVENGE, CLAYTON!

Steve Sax said...

(just kidding. wait for beckett to relieve you and then make him throw it)

Steve Sax said...

Kings 1, San Jose 0 (end 1)

Steve Sax said...

Dodger fans go nuts on a Crawford fly ball. Perez catches it not even at the warning track.

Is it Charley Steiner impression night at the Stadium?

Cliff Beefpile said...

Goddammit, Gonzalez.

Steve Sax said...

Holy shit, we scored first!

Twice!

Off of Andre Ethier!!!!

karen said...

Dre comes through!!

Orel said...

Wow, run(s)!

Cliff Beefpile said...

Stop screwing with me. Like I'm gonna believe Ethier got a hit with RISP. Pffft.

Steve Sax said...

Eight Ks for Clayton through four innings.

2-0 Dodgers.

Steve Sax said...

Clayton gets the first out in the fifth, but it wasn't a strikeout. BOOOOOO

Steve Sax said...

Haren becomes K #9

Wow, that's a wicked curve

BJ Killeen said...

At another dinner. Checking in. We're ahead!! Holy s**t!

Steve Sax said...

10 Ks through five

Dusty Baker's Toothpick said...

Does Kershaw hate the Nats or something?

Cliff Beefpile said...

SCOOOOOORE! Kings lead 2-0 in the second period. FUCK NoCal!

Hideo Nomo said...

GOBZALEZ CANT HIT NOONE CAN

Dusty Baker said...

Just dry humped AC and his dad.

Cliff Beefpile said...

Knofed in the Gobs, if you will.

karen said...

On the sofa holding my breath, Vinny.

Fernie V said...

Damn they couldn't make three outs faster. Let the white boy from texas rest a little.

Cliff Beefpile said...

Two 2-0 leads. Gah! I can barely watch.

Paul said...

One more!

Paul said...

Crap high pitch count.

Paul said...

Crap!

Alex said...

Pay the kid

Paul said...

Lets go Kenley!

Paul said...

Think I just saw Neeebs. He is the white guy with the hockey jersey on.

Cliff Beefpile said...

Fuck you, Le Roach!

Paul said...

We make party part I!

Cliff Beefpile said...

We make K party!

BJ Killeen said...

We win! We win!

Paul said...

Fuck Thorton!

Hideo Nomo said...

A ween!!

Paul said...

4 mins left...

Paul said...

Under a minute left.

Dusty Baker said...

Go Kings Go!

Steve Sax said...

Post-Game Thread UPPPPPPP