Sunday, May 05, 2013

Game 30 Thread: May 5 @ Giants, 5p

Not enough hate.

Hyun-Jin Ryu (3-1, 3.35) vs. Matt Cain (0-2, 6.49).

What, you're back? It could be understood if you want to take a break after those last two heartbreakers, which followed the same script. A recap, Mad Libs-style:

  • In Game (number), (Dodger player) hurt his (body part) and we anxiously await to see if he'll join the rest of his teammates on the DL. The Giants amped up the dramatics for their raucous home crowd, winning with a walk-off homer by (hated Giants player) off (useless Dodger reliever).

Let's take a look at the answers:

Game #Dodger injurybody partGiants heroLP
1A. GonzalezneckO. PubesBeli
2J. HairstonlegG. QuirozLeague
3
?
?
?
?

Now it's time to guess who will play which role in today's gut-wrenching loss! Then, because it's Cinco de Mayo, drown your sorrows in (tequila/cerveza/mezcal). ¡Salud!

62 comments:

Dusty Baker said...

I'm back. Painful as last night was, I have to be back. I've been in a bad mood all weekend because of the Dodgers' woes, so the only thing that will kinda help is to win this game. While I get drunk.

Here's the lineup, kiddos:

Crawford 7
Punto 4
Gonzalez 3
Kemp 8
Ethier 9
AJ Ellis 2
Uribe 5
Gordon 6
Ryu 1

AGon could change so watch this space before game time.

Dusty Baker said...

Per Bill Shaikin:

"Adrian Gonzalez says today is same as yesterday: In the lineup but won't know if he's playing for sure until he goes thru pregame workouts."

Dusty Baker's Toothpick said...

DBT reporting from Tucson. I'll be catching the Topes on Tuesday night.

Hoping for the best tonight. We can't get swept in SF! No fuckin way! Not on our watch, right!?!?

Dusty Baker said...

Give us a 'Topes report after Tuesday's game, DBT!

Dusty Baker's Toothpick said...

Will do!

Pride of Dong said...

At the game, surly level pretty high, beer level low...

Dusty Baker said...

@Dong

You need to up the beer level. The even surlier level will naturally follow.

Dusty Baker said...

AGon scratched. Cruz in.

(sighs)

Dusty Baker said...

Revised lineup:

Crawford LF
Punto 2B
Kemp CF
Ethier RF
AJ Ellis C
Uribe 1B
Cruz 3B
Gordon SS
Ryu P

BJ Killeen said...

Mad libs entry:
Ethier, wrist, posey, Beli

I agree. Not enough hate in the video. And is urine really saying anything?

Dusty Baker said...

Way to work the count in the first inning, boys!

Dusty Baker said...

Matt Cain has a tiny head. And his hat looks funny.

Dusty Baker said...

I want every Gnats fan at the game to suddenly contract diarrhea.

Dusty Baker said...

And all the other fans, too, whether they are at the game or not.

And the players.

And Willie Mays.

Dusty Baker said...

Rancho shitsuckerdiendo!

Dusty Baker said...

Throw at this mofo!

BJ Killeen said...

Someone please tell me why I'm watching the game?

Dusty Baker said...

Nice camera angle, culero ESPN.

Dusty Baker said...

1-0. Could have been worse.

BJ Killeen said...

Two for flinching, Cain.

karen said...

The world just isn't right without Vin calling the game.

BJ 5:17...Just why ARE we watching this game??

BJ Killeen said...

The ump is a blind punk

BJ Killeen said...

K: these announcers suck. Agreed. I hate when the game Is on espn

Hideo Nomo said...

I swear the At Bat app sent me a notification that the Dodgers were up 1-0. I even yelled at Steiner for saying the opposite when I got in the car.

Hideo Nomo said...

Kruk is in the booth now? Uuuggghh.

Hideo Nomo said...

Aw shitbuckets.

Dusty Baker said...

Serious depression setting in.

Dusty Baker said...

Why do we keep getting that shitty from-behind-home-plate angle of at bats? Terrible.

karen said...

Hurry Dusty, get drunk before the depression has time to settle in. It's your only chance!

Dusty Baker said...

@Karen

Done and done.

Dusty Baker said...

Where's that curve ball we saw the other night, Ryu?

karen said...

I love Orel (both theirs and ours) but these other two are sounding like real gnat homers.

Dusty Baker said...

Broadcast is terrible, from commentary to video. What a way to end the weekend.

Dusty Baker said...

"He was not only safe on the front of the bag. He was safe on the back of the bag."

WTF does that mean?

Spank said...

FUCK YEAH! STOLEN BASE! WOOHOO!



(cries)

Dusty Baker said...

0-5 with RISP. Off to a torrid pace tonight.

Spank said...

It means the announcers are full of shit.

Dusty Baker said...

0-7 with RISP now. We are good at something!

Dusty Baker said...

That's it, kids. I can't take it any more this weekend.

Spank said...

fuck.

BJ Killeen said...

Look! The Gnats have a SS that can make the throw ALL THE WAY to first. Watch him, Dee.

karen said...

Is this a gnat telecast or what???

Dusty Baker's Toothpick said...

They have good brew pubs in tucson. Great for drowning dodgers sorrows

Dusty Baker's Toothpick said...

View of the dodgers offense from Arizona is just as shitty as from LBC...

karen said...

Someone needs to take one of those brooms and shove it up Matt Cain's ass.

Dusty Baker's Toothpick said...

How many ABs will it take Ethier to figure out Lopez. Fuckin shit. Platoon his ass already

karen said...

Arguably the most beautiful park in baseball?

WTF??

Dusty Baker's Toothpick said...

C'mon fuckers!!! Rally time!

karen said...

Kruk is looking like a toad these days.

Hideo Nomo said...

Dee with the RBI Baltimore chop!

Dusty Baker's Toothpick said...

Bums

Dusty Baker's Toothpick said...

Top of the order in the 9th. Lets go boys!

BJ Killeen said...

Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.

Dusty Baker's Toothpick said...

Bums

Dusty Baker's Toothpick said...

Fucking bums

karen said...

Thank you BJ. After a really shitty game, that has put me in an even shittier mood, you're sniffing glue comment really cracked me up!!

Dusty Baker's Toothpick said...

I picked the wrong week to start believing.

Dusty Baker's Toothpick said...

On the bright side there was no walk off dinger tonight. We showed them!

BJ Killeen said...

Yeah Dusty and Karen. We showed them! The only consolation is that they have to return to their shitty Birkenstock sandal-wearing lives.

Paul said...

Yeah. Who needs two world championships in 3 years. Just wait till 2025!

Steve Sax said...

PGT up!

Spank said...

I like to go on record in saying I've never stopped sniffing the glue or eating the paste.