Tuesday, May 18, 2010

SoSG Smonkstakes!

So, yesterday you Met Smonk. Today, you learn how you can Get Smonk. This is how the lucky reader/Smonk recipient will be determined:

  • Comment here as you please
  • Whenever this thread goes without a comment for 48 hours, the reader who made the last comment wins! (comments from the Sons don't count)
  • For your convenience, a "SoSG Smonkstakes" link to this thread has been placed on the sidebar.

Nothing more to it. Probably the simplest SoSG competition yet. Any questions ask here. I will leave you with more photos of Smonk during his SoSG tattoo surgical procedure:

Let the war of attrition begin!

3888 comments:

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Fred's Brim said...

I bet Smonk would go all bonobo on the Rally Monkey

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Comment? What the hell is a comment?

QuadSevens said...

I need to remember to check this blog at home more. Work has blocked all the pictures here now. BOOOOOOOOO! I want to see Smonk and his cool new tattoo!

Dusty Baker said...

This could go on for years.

Keven C said...

Since this thread may never end ... Hi. It's me. It's May 18, 2010. Let my great-grandkids know that on this day, I heart John Ely.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

LOUD NOISES!!!

Josh S. said...

I've rarely seen a thread go 48 seconds without a comment.

Dr. Geek said...

This is going to be like that song that never ends.

J. Steve said...

I'm curious to see how this one goes...

MR. F said...

Oh dear.

Steve Sax said...

48 hours? I think 24 hours would be enough...

Dusty Baker said...

This thread could be like that Two Princes song that Sax referenced yesterday.

Meaniebreanie said...

This contest brings to mind the lyrics from that old Journey song -Don't Stop Believin

Some will win, some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues
Oh, the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on.

Greg Finley said...

Yeah, there's no way it's ever going to end.

Dusty Baker said...

This is the contest that is least suited for Jason's skills.

Josh S. said...

Rule suggestion:

Let it run for a week (or two or whatever). If the 48-hour thing hasn't happened, award it to the person who posted right before the longest gap between comments.

Meaniebreanie said...

Time is going to tell which SoSG reader has the tenacity and the desire to bring the Smonkster home.

Dusty Baker said...

I kinda like the perpetual thread play.

Someone will have to make sure a comment is posted within 48 hrs. It will be like Desmond having to punch in the numbers on LOST.

Dusty Baker said...

Smonkster = Smoke Monster?

Dusty Baker said...

Meaniebreanie-

Have you always had an "r" in your nickname? Or did I just now notice it?

I am lame.

karina said...

This is about patience and tenacity

Meaniebreanie said...

@Dusty
We have the smonkstakes so why not a smonkster?

Yes, the "r" has always been there. My real name is Sabrina and friends/family call me either Brina or Breanie. The name was given to me by friends for some competitive bidding practices. I really should change it.

Dusty Baker said...

@Karina

Otherwise known as obsessiveness.

Orel said...

John Ely could win this thread.

Dusty Baker said...

@MB

That's a great name; keep it. For some reason my mind just skipped over the "r". I guess because beanie is a word while breanie is not (except to you).

Sabrina is a cool name, too.

Meaniebreanie said...

Are SoSG readers obsessive?

Meaniebreanie said...

@DB
Thanks Mr. Dusty. I think you have a pretty cool name too. From what I can surmise, you seem like a pretty cool guy as well.

Dusty Baker said...

OT:

http://tinyurl.com/23akx23

McCourt/financing article

QuadSevens said...

This thread just combined the Dodgers, a prize, and Lost all in one. If someone mentions scotch I might think that I've died and gone to heaven.

Greg said...

What's the over/under on this thread ending? End of the season?

Dr. Geek said...

Anyone that post below this line LOVES LOVES LOVES!!! the Giants.

_________________________________

Loney Fan said...

We could all just agree to stop commenting at noon in an attempt to ruin EK's fun, but we don't have that kind of cohesion.

Dusty Baker said...

____________________________________

Line ended.

@7777s

Ely was mentioned, so clearly this thread IS heaven.

Eric Karros said...

Having a one-week limit would totally defeat the purpose. This is a war of attrition & persistence, not timing or speed.

Plus 48 hours may seem like a long time of course for the next few days, but once this thread moves from people's consciousness it won't seem as long. That's why the sidebar link is critical.

QuadSevens said...

Very true Dusty. We are blessed.

Dusty Baker said...

Totally agree, EK.

I'm in it for the long haul. I may get trenchmouth, but I'll be burrowed in.

QuadSevens said...

This will be like the game thread from a while back that we kept posting random things on to try and get up to 500 posts. Except this time there's a prize!

Dusty Baker said...

Relevant baseball post:

Per MSB Ken Rosenthal via the Twitters:

Source: #Dodgers' Ethier headed to DL today. X. Paul likely callup. He can alternate with R. Johnson with G. Anderson filling in. #MLB

Eric Karros said...

Quad, I totally remember that thread, I think from 2 or 3 years back. That may have subconsciously gave me the idea for this.

Neeebs said...

This thread will definitely last past the end of the season.

I'm taking bets on that one.

Any takers?

Eric Karros said...

Quad, here's that thread, back in the days of you, Karina, and Erin.

Neeebs said...

What's the modern day record for SOSG comment posts?

Dusty Baker said...

Sadly, I found myself reading that GT with great interest. Then I caught myself.

I'll leave you with this gem:

"Steve Sax said...

Orel, I'm calling you right now.
6/19/2008 10:00 AM "

QuadSevens said...

Wow! I didn't know that thread was almost 2 years old! I guess the 10 months of posting after it started helps.

Dusty Baker said...

@Karina

I just saw a photo on your Facebook post that looked like it pictured the retarded stepson of Sockmonster.

Dusty Baker said...

Or Smonkmonster...or whatever this damned muppet is called.

QuadSevens said...

Neeebs: I think there was a GT during the playoffs last year that got up around 900. Maybe one of the Sons can confirm that?

Josh S. said...

OK, OK, I get it.

Can we place side bets on who is most likely to pull the dick move of commenting at 47 hrs, 59 minutes?

Dusty Baker said...

@Josh

Jason.*

*Not calling him a dick. Just meaning that's the kind of mad skillz he has.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!!!

Betsy said...

I think Somonkster should get a tattoo each month he is up for grabs as I seriously doubt this thread will be over quickly. Maybe an I <3 Ely tattoo next month?

MR. F said...

That's a good idea.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

I love lamp.

Eric Karros said...

The top-commenting posts I can find are:

1. this Flo vs Deltalina thread
2. this game thread

Although I seem to recall a GT that beat FvD, but I can't find it.

Eric Karros said...

DB - Smonk is to Sock Monkey what A-Rod is to Alex Rodriguez.

Unfortunately we were not able to award this Smonk to the winner.

Dusty Baker said...

EK-

I just found the similar nomenclature to LOST's Smoke Monster humorous.

Dusty Baker said...

I remember #2 above thread like it was yesterday. LOTR, REM, "English" kings. These are a few of my favorite things.

Josh S. said...

Wasn't the GT from the day Michael Jackson died epic in length?

Dusty Baker said...

Michael Jackson died?

Josh S. said...

Man, that 2009 NLCS Game 4 thread is probably the best thread ever...

...if you stop reading at comment #1200.

Gagne's lucky glasses said...

I decided to pay the neighbors kid a quarter each day to watch this thread and notify me if I need to comment. He is 7 so it should cost me 50 cents before he forgets or he will turn into the Rain Man and it will cost me a couple hundred bucks for the sock monkey

karina said...

@QuadSevens isn't any Poker in your heaven?

karina said...

@Dusty which photo? DM please!.I'm crossing fingers it's not my profile photo

@Loney Fan I don't know but Dr. Geek just ruled you out as a Giants fan, are you gonna be quiet about that?

p.s who likes R.E.M.?

Jason said...

@Dusty 10:41 - It hurts 'cause it's true.

If Deltalina showed up and tried to claim Smonk, I'd let her have it. Flo on the other hand, wouldn't stand a chance.

Dusty Baker said...

@Karina

No, silly, not your profile pic.

I jsut DM'd you with a link.

karina said...

@Dusty lol! i'm so going to remove that tag...long story!

Mr. Customer said...

To answer Josh S, I am absolutely the most likely to post at 47 hours and 59 minutes.

Eric Karros said...

GLG: you better make sure that 7 year old doesn't doublecross you and take Smonk for himself.

MR. F said...

We should do an over/under on how long this thread lasts.

Josh S. said...

I bet the thread goes long enough for my son to win it.

Dusty Baker said...

My son may win it, and he isn't even conceived yet.

The Grandsons of Steve Garvey will be running this blog when someone finally wins.

Gagne's lucky glasses said...

I'm going with 6 months, 14 days, 2 hours and 47 minutes

Gagne's lucky glasses said...

@EK: I will take his lunch money if he does!

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

I woke up in some Japanese family's rec room, and they would NOT stop screaming.

Dusty Baker said...

I'm not getting this whole screaming thing, MLASF. Then again I'm a modern pop culture luddite.

Free rbnlaw said...

In for the smonk win.

Dusty Baker said...

Not.

MR. F said...

I don't get the screaming thing either.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.

MR. F said...

aaahh

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Blegh.

MR. F said...

ugh

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

farfegnugen

MR. F said...

aa

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

That's crazy talk.

Dr. Geek said...

Sheet.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Oh my god! The PTA has disbanded! Ah AH AAAAAHHHHHHH!

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Oh the taxes! The finger thing means the taxes!

MR. F said...

COME ONNN!

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

The children will have to learn about "Tek War" sooner or later.

Bryan said...

COMMENT! i didn't know what else to say. Also, i don't understand why Torre refuses to put in Monasterios with a 4 run lead in the 9th, and must try to make troncoso's arm fall off.

MR. F said...

Skinner says the teachers will fold faster than Superman on laundry day.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

They're trying to learn for free!

MR. F said...

It still points, doesn't it?

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

You will not enjoy it on the many levels that I do.

MR. F said...

That's a paddlin'.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

My personal favorite: Talking out of turn? That's a paddlin'. Lookin' out the window? That's a paddlin'. Starin' at my sandals? That's a paddlin'. Paddlin' the school canoe? Oh, you better believe that's a paddlin'.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Damn. You snuck in their with paddlin'. I'll have to counter with this:

I've had just enough of your Vassar-bashing, young lady!

MR. F said...

Grade me!

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!

MR. F said...

Hello, mother dear.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Of course, we don't keep if loaded, for safety reasons.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

There's very little meat in these gym mats.

MR. F said...

My bones are so brittle! But, I drink plenty of... malk?

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

THESE CHILDREN HAVE NO FUTURE!!!


Heh, prove me wrong, kids! Prove me wrong!

MR. F said...

Be good! For the love of God, please be good!

(okay that one wasn't actually spoken)

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

I'm losing my perspicacity!

Well, it's always in the last place you look.

Dr. Geek said...

WHUT!>?

MR. F said...

All right, listen up you little FREAKS! This is one substitute you're not going to screw with.... Marge Simpson.

Paul said...

No one is ever going to win that weird monkey.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

It's my ears, isn't it? Well, children, I can't help that!

MR. F said...

Hey Otto, go fill up on gas. Here's the... "credit card."

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Make sure these kids get some *extra* education.

MR. F said...

Shredded newspapers add much-needed inks and roughage!

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Skinner says you wouldn't have the won-tons to go through with it.

MR. F said...

Ruffage. D'oh!

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

It took the children forty minutes to locate Canada on the map.

Marge, anyone can miss Canada, all tucked away down there.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Sorry, Bart, I'm deeply immersed in the Teapot Dome scandal.

MR. F said...

Can't you tell my voice from a ten year old kid's? Ay carumba!

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Uh, I don't have your money! It's in Bill's house, and uh, Fred's house!

Hey, what the hell's my money doing in your house, Fred?

MR. F said...

Lisa, if you don't like your job, you don't strike. You go in there and do it half-assed. That's the American way!

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

One more before bed:

Kid, help me break out of here. I'll like, totally make it worth your while.

MR. F said...

Purple monkey dishwasher!

Dr. Geek said...

ijvdjfvijdv

Paul said...

This is the cause I have chosen. No I won't get sentimental.

MR. F said...

And I can't hear 'em.

Dusty Baker said...

This is all so wrong.

Dusty Baker said...

Before I say goodnight, I'd like to add:

For a school with no Asian kids, I think we put on a pretty darn good science fair.

MR. F said...

Please don't take my sunshine away.

Paul said...

What am I suppose to put in the mash potatoes?!?

Dusty Baker said...

just shoot me

MR. F said...

Dinosaur Act.

Paul said...

Are we really just dancing in the dark?

MR. F said...

Medicine Magazines.

Fred's Brim said...

Gorilla's Choice

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Zuh?

Meaniebreanie said...

Smonkstakes Day 2 in what could be a never ending saga.

EK
Did you have any idea of what you were getting into?

Dusty Baker said...

To quote Steve Perry, it goes on and on and on...

Paul said...

So will the grandsons of steve Garvey being handing this reward out to a bear once the bears take over the world and kill off most humans saving only the ones who have rewards to give out on their blogs?

MR. F said...

Tired.

Josh S. said...

It is a dark time for the
Rebellion. Although the Death
Star has been destroyed,
Imperial troops have driven the
Rebel forces from their hidden
base and pursued them across
the galaxy.

Evading the dreaded Imperial
Starfleet, a group of freedom
fighters led by Luke Skywalker
have established a new secret
base on the remote ice world
of Hoth.

The evil lord Darth Vader,
obsessed with finding young
Skywalker, has dispatched
thousands of remote probes into
the far reaches of space....

MR. F said...

EXTERIOR: GALAXY -- PLANET HOTH

A Star Destroyer moves through space, releasing Imperial probe
robots from its underside.
One of these probes zooms toward the planet Hoth and lands
on its ice-covered surface. An explosion marks the point of
impact.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Throwing me off a cliff? Isn't that a little crude for a genius like you?

Huh. I guess it is. If anyone asks, I'll lie!

MR. F said...

EXTERIOR: HOTH -- METEORITE CRATER -- SNOW PLAIN -- DAY

A weird mechanical sound rises above the whining of the
wind. A strange probe robot, with several extended sensors,
emerges from the smoke-shrouded crater. The ominous mechanical
probe floats across the snow plain and disappears into the
distance.

The Face said...

I dig Smonk's new tat.

Dusty Baker said...

Just. Shoot. Me.

MR. F said...

EXTERIOR: PLAIN OF HOTH -- DAY

A small figure gallops across the windswept ice slope. The
bundled rider is mounted on a large gray snow lizard, a
Tauntaun. Curving plumes of snow rise from beneath the
speeding paws of the two-legged beast.
The rider gallops up a slope and reins his lizard to a
stop. Pulling off his protective goggles, Luke Skywalker
notices something in the sky. He takes a pair of
electrobinoculars from his utility belt and through them sees
smoke rising from where the probe robot has crashed.
The wind whips at Luke's fur-lined cap and he activates a
comlink transmitter. His Tauntaun shifts and moans nervously
beneath him.

Spanky said...

Shock the Smonkey

MR. F said...

LUKE: (into comlink) Echo Three to Echo Seven. Han, old buddy, do you
read me?
After a little static a familiar voice is heard.

Mr. Customer said...

Hawley-Smoot Tariff

MR. F said...

HAN: (over comlink) Loud and clear, kid. What's up?

Betsy said...

I <3 this blog, u make waiting @ a Dr's office totally bearableish.

MR. F said...

LUKE: (into comlink) Well, I finished my circle. I don't pick up any
life readings.

Free rbnlaw said...

Cut the chatter, Red 2.

Free rbnlaw said...

(wrong episode, I know)

MR. F said...

HAN: (over comlink) There isn't enough life on this ice cube to fill a
space cruiser. The sensors are placed. I'm going back.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

YOU'LL LIVE TO REGRET THIS!!!

Oh great, now *I* look crazy.

MR. F said...

LUKE: (into comlink) Right. I'll see you shortly. There's a meteorite
that hit the ground near here. I want to check it out. It won't take
long.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

So, when do they bring us the menus?

MR. F said...

Luke clicks off his transmitter and reins back on his
nervous lizard. He pats the beast on the head to calm it.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Guess who!

Maris?

MR. F said...

LUKE: Hey, steady girl. What's the matter? You smell something?

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Goodness! I had no idea! For you see, I have been on Mars for the past decade, in a cave with my eyes shut, and my fingers in my ears.

MR. F said...

Luke takes a small device from his belt and starts to
adjust it when suddenly a large shadow falls over him from
behind. He hears a monstrous howl and turns to see an eleven-
foot-tall shape towering over him. It is a Wampa Ice Creature,
lunging at him ferociously.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

I hope they still make that shampoo I like.

MR. F said...

LUKE: Aaargh!

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Cecil, no civilization in history has ever considered chief hydrological engineer a calling. Yes, yes, the Cappadocians, fine.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Oh, great. I supposed that when a woman passes by, it will be my job to lead in the hooting. "Oh, yeah! Shake it, madam. Capital knockers!"

MR. F said...

Luke grabs for his pistol, but is hit flat in the face by a
huge white claw. He falls unconscious into the snow and in a
moment the terrified screams of the Tauntaun are cut short by
the horrible snap of a neck being broken.
The Wampa Ice Creature grabs Luke by one ankle and drags
him away across the frozen plain.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

He's just a little shy because I've tried to kill him so many times.

MR. F said...

EXTERIOR: HOTH -- REBEL BASE ENTRANCE -- DAY

A stalwart figure rides his Tauntaun up to the entrance
of an enormous ice cave.

Neeebs said...

What if everyone just ASSUMES that the others will keep commenting and subsequently ignores this thread.

Yeah, like that will ever happen.


Back to the re-creation of Star Wars as told by Fanerman...

MR. F said...

INTERIOR: HOTH -- REBEL BASE -- MAIN HANGAR DECK

Rebel troopers rush about unloading supplies and otherwise
securing their new base. The rider, Han Solo, swings off his
lizard and pulls off his goggles.
He walks into the main hangar deck toward the Millennium
Falcon, which is parked among several fighters. Mechanics, R2
units, and various other droids hurry about. Han stops at the
Millennium Falcon where his Wookiee copilot, Chewbacca, is
welding on a central lifter. Chewie stops his work and lifts
his face shield, growling an irritated greeting to his boss.

Josh S. said...

Han Solo ain't never had no sex with Princess Leia in the Star War!

MR. F said...

HAN: Chewie!

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Lisa, you don't spend ten years as a homicidal maniac without learning a few things about dynamite.

MR. F said...

The Wookiee grumbles a reply.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

I think I wet my bed.

MR. F said...

HAN: All right, don't lose your temper. I'll come right back and give
you a hand.

Dr. Geek said...

BASHOOKAYAKA!

MR. F said...

Chewbacca puts his mask back on and returns to his welding
as Han leaves.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Madam, your children are no more...

than a pair of ill-bred troublemakers!

MR. F said...

INTERIOR: HOTH -- REBEL BASE -- COMMAND CENTER

A makeshift command center has been set up in a blasted area
of thick ice. The low-ceilinged room is a beehive of activity.
Controllers, troops, and droids move about setting up
electronic equipment and monitoring radar signals.
General Rieekan straightens up from a console at Han's
approach.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Who left the lights on. Who's in here? Cletus? Cousin Merl? Big Hungry Joe?

MR. F said...

RIEEKAN: Solo?

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Come now, you speak as if they were nothing but a gaggle of slack-jawed yokels.

Mister Terwillidjer, come quick. There's trouble down to the see-Ment mixer, sir!

MR. F said...

HAN: No sign of life out there, General. The sensors are in place.
You'll know if anything comes around.

karina said...

@Mr F "I'll take you down to Winnipeg....THAT'S IN CANADA!"

karina said...

"if we're good, Rumbleroar lets you ride around on his back. he's a lion...who...can...talk"

MR. F said...

RIEEKAN: Commander Skywalker reported in yet?

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Hydrological and hydrodynamical? Talk about running the gamut.

Snigger all you like, Bob.

Thank you. I believe I shall.

Eric Karros said...

@Meaniebreanie 7:31 AM - No. No, I didn't.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

I have the '82 Chateau Latour and a rather indifferent Rausan-Segle.

I've been in prison, Cecil. I'll be happy just as long it doesn't taste like orange drink fermented under a radiator.

That would be the Latour, then.

Dr. Geek said...

SHALAMAR!

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Test. Test.

MR. F said...

HAN: No. He's checking out a meteorite that hit near him.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Hellooooo?

Dr. Geek said...

CHAKA KHAN!

MR. F said...

HAN: No. He's checking out a meteorite that hit near him.

MR. F said...

200

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