Monday, May 17, 2010

Empire Strikes Back Night: A Second Opinion

A Delino will be at the game Friday night, with excitement and expectations. Just like I had for Phantom Menace. Until...

But Friday night will not disappoint. As long as they do at least ALL of the following.

1. First pitch - Jek Porkins.

The sympathetically-named full-figured Red Six pilot who was too large to fit into a redshirt, yet suffered the same fate.

Think he's not important enough? Then why does he have his own figure?

Lucas just doesn't give figures to anybody.

2. Tommy Lasorda Carbonite figure for all kids under 12 and man-child, blogger types over 30.

And if that's too complicated, how about some sleeping bags?

Two of my cooler friends just added this to the wedding registry. How could I not get it for them?

3. Between innings, show sections of Mr. Plinkett's 70-minute Phantom Menace review. It's the best thing to come out of the new trilogy - a complete evisceration of Episode 1. Trust A Delino. (Here's ten minutes of it to give you a sample.)

4. Katy Perry in Leia's Return of the Jedi costume.

Just saying.

13 comments:

Josh S. said...

Yeah, but Porkins is dead in ESB. Like, WAY dead.

Now, if you said Dack or the guy Cliff from Cheers played...

A Delino said...

Ratzenberger's character was a proud commander, who barked out orders with the steely determination he'd later bring to Cliff.

JBJ-1138 said...

they also need to give out these!!

http://shop.starwars.com/catalog/product.xml?topcatID=1300264;product_id=1320778

and this

http://shop.starwars.com/catalog/product.xml?topcatID=1300264;product_id=1320786

ps. its my bday and ill be there reppin my bobafett hoodie

A Delino said...

They could bring out Porkins ashes and scatter them on the field. That seems fitting.

JBJ-1138 said...

the game on ESB night is my bday that is

A Delino said...

I might sport a Wato mask

Todd said...

Maybe they could replace the on deck circle with this gem.

http://gizmodo.com/5540626/furry-wampa-rug-is-essential-for-making-hoth-love

Steve Sax said...

JBJ-1138, you're not the only birthday on ESB night

A Delino said...

It's also Judge Reinhold's (like A Delino - a Delaware native!)

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001662/

Forget Jek - Judge should throw out the first pitch

A Delino said...

I have a story about General Madine.

My parents went to England in early 1983, and brought me back a whole bunch of "Revenge" of the Jedi figures (imagine if I kept those in the box! I could afford almost three weeks of college for Delino Jr)

Most of them were already Empire figures. Which to be nice, I lied and said I didn't have. But a couple were new figures - including General Madine! MY young mind race - is he a Jedi? A villain? Obi-Wan's cousin? Months pass, and Jedi finally comes out. Halfway through the film, Madine comes on screen. And I was like "this guy's going to be rad" Turns out, he's like the Rebellion equivalent of the White House Press Secretary.

With all due love and appreciation to my parents for thinking of me during their romantic European getaway - WORST FIGURE EVER!

Dusty Baker said...

All this ESB talk makes me want a Red Hook.

Fred's Brim said...

All this Red Hook talk makes me want a Key Lime Pie

A Delino said...

@DB - Got this from Philly-loving, DC-living Rich:

"Wonder why no enterprising young geek brewmaster has approached Lucas to license 'Empire Strikes Back Extra Special Bitter," or ESB ESB. George must not drink beer."