So, yesterday you Met Smonk. Today, you learn how you can Get Smonk. This is how the lucky reader/Smonk recipient will be determined:
- Comment here as you please
- Whenever this thread goes without a comment for 48 hours, the reader who made the last comment wins! (comments from the Sons don't count)
- For your convenience, a "SoSG Smonkstakes" link to this thread has been placed on the sidebar.
Nothing more to it. Probably the simplest SoSG competition yet. Any questions ask here. I will leave you with more photos of Smonk during his SoSG tattoo surgical procedure:
Let the war of attrition begin!
3622 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 1201 – 1400 of 3622 Newer› Newest»SECOND OFFICER: Fall back!
% The two of them get up an leave. Jerry panics n his own mind...
Troops flee from the battle, the ground exploding around
them.
Jerry: [To himself] I can't believe it-- I got *nothing*! I don't even know her name!
EXTERIOR: HOTH -- BATTLEFIELD
Three of the giant walkers, firing lasers, advance toward
the Rebel headquarters.
Jerry: [To himself, *very* quickly] Sagman, Bennet, Robbins, Oppenheim and Taft. Sagman, Bennet, Robbins, Oppen... Sagman... Sag...
EXTERIOR: HOTH -- SNOW TRENCH
Continuing their retreat, the Rebels see the walkers
looming ever nearer.
% A grim stare from Elaine knocks his concentration. After the party, in the cab home...
Charlemagne: beard
Jerry: That wasn't so bad, really...
Julius Caesar: No beard.
Dusty after Dodgers were bounced from playoffs in 2009: No beard.
EXTERIOR: HOTH -- BATTLEFIELD -- ICE PLAIN
On the battlefield, Luke watches as a walker foot rises and
moves over him. He looks up at the underbelly of the huge
walker, passing overhead.
JOYCE!
Elaine: Y'know, uh, you could use a little work on your manners.
Hull City Association Football Club is an English football club based in Kingston upon Hull, East Riding of Yorkshire, founded in 1904. In 2007–08 they achieved promotion to the top flight of English football for the first time in their history, by winning the Championship play-off final at Wembley Stadium. They finished the 2008–09 season 17th in the Premier League table, successfully avoiding relegation by one point. The previous highest position Hull City had finished in the English Football League was third in the old second division in 1909–10, which they matched in 2007–08 when they gained promotion. Their greatest achievement in cup competitions came in 1930, when the team reached the semi-finals of the FA Cup.
Hull play their home games at the KC Stadium. They previously played at Boothferry Park, but moved to their current home in 2002, with Boothferry Park set for demolition. They traditionally play in black and amber, often with a striped shirt design, hence their nickname The Tigers. The club's mascot is Roary the Tiger.
Still running under the walker, Luke attaches the cable
drum to his belt buckle. Soon he is pulled up the cable and
hangs dangling underneath the walker.
Walker, Texas Ranger is an American television police drama/action, created by Lesie Grief and Paul Haggis, and starring Chuck Norris as a member of the Texas Ranger Division. It aired on CBS with three pilot episodes followed by eight full seasons, from April 21, 1993 to May 19, 2001, was broadcast in over 100 countries, and has since spawned at least one made-for-television movie. It was originally conceived on August 6, 1987. DVD sets of all seasons have been released. At various times since 1997, reruns of the show have aired, in syndication, on the USA Network and Action in Canada.
The show was known for its moral values. For example, the characters refrained from the use of drugs, and they participated in community service. Martial arts were shown prominently as the primary tool of law enforcement and occasionally as a tool for Walker and company to reach out to the community.
The show has gained a following for its camp appeal, due to its improbable combination of martial arts and modern Western genres, its wildly unrealistic depiction of police work, and the resurgent popularity of star Norris.
The walker's giant feet continue to pound onward across the
frozen snow. Stray laser bolts whistle by Luke as he climbs up
the cable to the walker's hull, reaching a small hatch.
Hanging precariously, Luke cuts the solid metal hatch with his
laser sword.
S.W.O.R.D. (Sentient World Observation and Response Department) is a fictional counterterrorism and intelligence agency in the Marvel Comics Universe. Its purpose is to deal with extraterrestrial threats to world security.
The group was first introduced in Astonishing X-Men (vol. 3) #6 by Joss Whedon. S.W.O.R.D. is a counterpart of the better known S.H.I.E.L.D. but since the departure of Nick Fury as director of S.H.I.E.L.D., relations between the two organizations have become strained. The head of S.W.O.R.D is Special Agent Abigail Brand. Its primary command-and-control HQ is aboard the orbital space station known as the Peak.
He takes a landmine from around his neck and throws it
inside the Imperial machine. Quickly, Luke starts down the
cable and crashes onto the icy ground far below. He lies
unconscious as a giant rear leg passes by -- and just misses
him.
"Him" is the sixth episode of the seventh and final season of television series Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Dawn Summers falls in love with RJ, a football player at her high school and becomes desperate to win his affections, despite her awkward social skills in his presence. Her sister Buffy falls for RJ at first sight as well and the two fall out over the matter. After RJ briefly visits the Summers' home Anya and Willow fall for him as well, even though Willow is gay.
As Buffy, Anya and Willow each plot to win RJ's love, Dawn, feeling overshadowed by and inferior to her three older friends, lays herself across train tracks to await a train to crush her to death. Meanwhile, Buffy leaves to kill RJ's nemesis, Principal Robin Wood, Anya robs a bank, and Willow begins an elaborate spell. When Xander and Spike finally learn about the coming mayhem, they set out to track the women and stop them.
Finally, it's revealed that RJ's letter jacket is the cause of all the Sunnydale women falling for the football player. The jacket is destroyed and all is well.
Jerry: Why? What did I do?
Nebuchadnezzar: Beard
Elaine: Well, I just don't appreciate these little "courtesy responses", like I'm selling you aluminum siding.
Louis XIV: No beard.
Mr. C: Beard (limited time offer)
Jerry: I was listening!
The giant walker stops in mid-step. A muffled explosion
comes from within -- and then the walker's mechanical insides
are spewed out every conceivable opening. The machine sits
dead in its tracks, smoking like a locomotive on stilts.
Elaine: No! You couldn't wait to get back to your little... "conversation".
Stilts are poles, posts or pillars used to allow a person or structure to stand at a distance above the ground. Walking stilts are poles equipped with steps for the feet to stand on, or straps to attach them to the legs, for the purpose of walking while elevated above a normal height. In flood plains, and on beaches or unstable ground, buildings are often constructed on stilts to protect them from damage by water, waves or shifting soil or sand. Stilts have been used for many hundreds of years.[1]
Jerry: No, you were talking about the, the um, the dream you had.
EXTERIOR: HOTH -- BATTLEFIELD
Veers's walker continues to advance toward the Rebel base.
The smoldering walker that Luke exploded stands smoking just
to the right of Veers's path.
A path, the general form of a filename or of a directory name, specifies a unique location in a file system. A path points to a file system location by following the directory tree hierarchy expressed in a string of characters in which path components, separated by a delimiting character, represent each directory. The delimiting character is most commonly the slash ("/"), the backslash character ("\"), or colon (":"), though some operating systems may use a different delimiter. Paths are used extensively in computer science to represent the directory/file relationships common in modern operating systems, and are essential in the construction of Uniform Resource Locators (URLs).
INTERIOR: IMPERIAL SNOW WALKER - COCKPIT
Inside his walker, General Veers prepares to fire on the
Rebel power generators.
Elaine: Uh-huh...
VEERS: Distance to power generators?
Jerry: Where you had, uh, wooden teeth.
PILOT: One-seven, decimal two-eight.
Elaine: No! No! *You* had wooden teeth! *You* had wooden teeth! *I* didn't have wooden teeth, *you* did!
Veers reaches for the electrorangefinder and lines up the
main generator.
Jerry: Alright, so *I* had wooden teeth, so what?
VEERS: Target. Maximum fire power.
Elaine: So nothing... Nothing...
EXTERIOR: HOTH -- BATTLEFIELD
The Rebel troops continue their desperate retreat, pushed
back by the relentless Imperial assault.
% Cut to Jerry in a nightclub somewhere, doing another monologue...
INTERIOR: HOTH -- REBEL BASE -- ICE CORRIDORS
With Threepio lagging behind, Han and Leia race through the
crumbling ice corridors. Suddenly, there is an explosion. Han
turns, grabs the princess, and pulls her to the wall as a
tremendous cave-in blacks their path.
Jerry: Apparently Plato, who came up with the concept of the platonic
relationship, was pretty excited about it. He named it after
himself. He said ``Yeah, I got this new thing-- "platonic". My
idea, my name, callin' it after myself... What I do is, I go *out*
with the girls, I *talk* with them-- don't *do* anything... and go
right home. What'dya think? I think it's going to be *big*!''
I bet you there were other guys in history that tried to get
relationships named after them, but it didn't work. Y'know, I bet
you there were guys who tried to do it, just went: ``Hi, my name's
Rico. Would you like to go to bed immediately? Hey, it's a
*"Riconic"* relationship...''
He takes the comlink from his pocket.
A day late and a dollar short, but "so long, Rafa". Hopefully a portent of better times, not worse at LFC.
% Jerry gets home after the party. His place is characteristically not vacant, but it's not Kramer inside-- it's his folks.
Pocket is the remixer/producer alias for Richard Jankovich. Since 2005, he has released many "pocket mixes" for artists like Joanna Newsom, Beck, Kristin Hersh, Antony and The Johnsons, Radiohead, Cat Power, Of Montreal and more.
In 2009, Pocket began releasing a series of singles featuring guest singers like Robyn Hitchcock, Craig Wedren (Shudder To Think), Steve Kilbey (The Church), Danny Seim (Menomena), Mark Burgess (The Chameleons), and more.
Pocket admits the name was bestowed upon him by Brooklyn Vegan when the blog posted his Joanna Newsom Pocket Mix and referred to him directly as Pocket. [1].
HAN: (into comlink) Transport, this is Solo. Better take off -- I
can't get to you. I'll get the princess out on the Falcon.
Anything going on in here?
Han and Leia turn and race down the corridor.
Jerry: Hey!
THREEPIO: But...but...but...where are you going? Uh...come back!!
Morty: Ah, there he is!
INTERIOR: HOTH -- REBEL BASE -- COMMAND CENTER
Imperial troops have reached the base. As they push through
the blocked passageway, Darth Vader strides behind them.
Jerry: This is what I like, see? You come home and your parents are in your bed!
INTERIOR: HOTH -- REBEL BASE -- ICE CORRIDOR
Han and Leia run toward the entrance of the main hangar
where the Millennium Falcon is docked. Threepio still lags
behind.
Helen: Y'know, Jerry, we don't have to do this...
THREEPIO: Wait! Wait for me! Wait! Stop!
Jerry: What are you talkin' about? It's fine, I love having you here...
The door to the hangar closes in his face.
Helen: Tomorrow we'll go to a hotel.
THREEPIO: (exasperated) How typical.
Jerry: Ma, will you stop?
Quickly, the door reopens as Han reaches out and pulls the
golden droid through.
Helen: No, why should we take over your apartment?
a quick hijack of the smonkstakes thread to say, RIP John Wooden, you were one of the greats.
back to lurk!!
Jerry: I don't care-- I'm sleeping next door.
HAN: Come on.
Helen: Your friend Kramer doesn't mind?
INTERIOR: HOTH -- REBEL BASE -- MAIN HANGAR
Chewie paces under the shelter of the Millennium Falcon's
landing gear. The giant Wookiee pats the underbelly of his
beloved ship and barks a few reassuring words. As he searches
worriedly for his captain, something at last catches his eye.
Chewie lets out a relieved shriek at seeing Han and Leia
running toward the ship. The Wookiee runs out into the
falling ice, lets out a howl, then runs up the ship's ramp.
Han and Leia run up the ramp after him, closely followed by
Threepio.
.
HAN: Hurry up, goldenrod, or you're going to be a permanent resident!
..
Sorry, I'm just messin' with you Mr F. ;-)
THREEPIO: Wait! Wait!
Reading this thread is like excavating an archeological site, so I'm burying a time capsule. The is an ad for "Camp Vegas" on the front page. The logo is a burning "V". I find this to be amusingly accurate and refreshingly honest marketing. It's a little disgusting, too.
I've seen ads from that campaign on tha TEE-vee, too. I felt like I needed to shower afterward.
After society as we know it ends, hopefully the next wave of sentient beings will sift through this thread, discover the foul Vegas marketing, and understand what led to our downfall so as to avoid repeating our mistakes.
rgwsg
Jerry: No, he's making a bouillabaisse. So Dad, lemme ask you a question. How many people work at these big law offices?
INTERIOR: HOTH -- REBEL BASE -- ICE CORRIDOR
Imperial troops run through the base corridors. Vader
surveys the place. A huge chunk falls, almost hitting him, but
he calmly, purposefully, continues around it.
Morty: Depends on the firm.
1300
INTERIOR: REBEL BASE -- MAIN HANGER -- MILLENNIUM FALCON
A distant, huge, explosion rocks the hangar deck. Ice cakes
come crashing down on the Millennium Falcon.
Jerry: Yeah, but if you called up and described someone, do you think they would know who it was?
Morty: What's the matter? You need a lawyer?
HAN: (to Chewie) How's this?
4:00am in the morning . I'm all thrashed multi- tasking on the comp. All I can say is I HATE THE:
NL WEST
redsox and yanks
keltics and Queens
I Knead more beer wtf get this contest over with already man . who the hell invented this monstrosity anyways: you know fuck that man you know i'm cracking another beer open and to hell wit you all nah i'm only jokinking man you know i care about you why did you have to leave me i did'nt mean you no harm iwas only joking dammit and by the ways you didn't have to tell everyone i had vd but you know i still love so why dont u cum over ill do that thing you like butt its againsnt my religion its okay ill go to confessiuhun
you know im sorry but damn girl you drve me crazy girl iwuz thinkng what was i ia talking about but anyhow if lke last the ;ast time iwould yo now exactkly jusct like that yes but wih more atitudr e and maybe what th fuuchnek,
Jerry: No, I met someone at this party, and I know where she works, but I don't know her name.
The Wookiee barks a negative reply.
Morty: So why don't you ask someone who was at the party?
LEIA: Would it helped if I got out and pushed?
Jerry: Nah, the only one I could ask is Elaine, and I can't ask her.
HAN: It might.
Helen: Why not?
Threepio clanks into the hold.
Jerry: Because it's complicated-- there's some tension there.
THREEPIO: Captain Solo, Captain Solo...sir, might I suggest that
you...
Helen: He used to go with her...
With just over a week until the world's attention is focused on South Africa, the squads have been selected and the teams are in final preparations for World Cup 2010. One of the most anticipated matches of the group stages takes place on June 12 when England takes on the United States in Rustenburg.
England are among the top-rated teams in the world and heavily favoured to win Group C, but Arsène Wenger, for one, is not discounting the US team's ability to step up their game for big matches.
"America, don't forget, beat Spain in the Confederations Cup," he told the Arsenal magazine. "They are a team who prepare well, they have a competitive mentality and seem to be able to raise their game when it matters."
Han gives the gold robot a devastating look.
anyone still talking in here?
I guess so.
you know it!
THREEPIO: It can wait.
Helen: Which one is she?
INTERIOR: MAIN HANGAR -- MILLENNIUM FALCON -- COCKPIT
They move to the cockpit where Han flips some more
switches. Leia watches him, impatient, disbelieving.
Helen: From Maryland. The one who brought you the chocolate covered cherries you didn't like.
LEIA: The bucket of bolts is never going to get us past that blockade.
Morty: Oh yeah, very alert. Warm person.
HAN: This baby's got a few surprises left in her, sweetheart.
Jerry: Oh yeah, she's great.
Han and Leia look out the cockpit window and see a squad of
stormtroopers rushing into the far side of the hangar.
Quickly, Han straps himself into the pilot's seat and Leia
into the navigator's chair.
Dalai Lama: No Beard
INTERIOR: HOTH -- REBEL BASE -- MAIN HANGAR
Stormtroopers hurriedly set up a large bazookalike weapon.
Behind them the giant hangar doors open slowly.
[redacted]
EXTERIOR: MAIN HANGAR -- MILLENNIUM FALCON
A laser gun appears on the Falcon and swings around to aim
at the Imperial troops.
Troops is a mockumentary film by Kevin Rubio, which made its debut on the Internet in 1997. The film is a parody of COPS, set in the Star Wars universe. In the film, Imperial stormtroopers from the infamous Black Sheep Squadron patrolling the Dune Sea on the planet Tatooine run into some very familiar characters while being filmed for the hit Imperial TV show Troops.
The film jump-started the modern fan film movement, as it was one of the first short films to bring fan films into the digital age, taking advantage of internet distribution and affordable production and special effects equipment, as well as fans with movie-quality costumes.
Rubio finished the film while working at the Fox Kids Network, and was able to use well-known voice talent in his cast, including Jess Harnell, Cam Clarke, and announcer Bill Farmer.
The film has proven incredibly popular with Star Wars fans, and was awarded the inaugural Pioneer Award in the Lucasfilm-sponsored 2002 Official Star Wars Fan Film Awards.
Fan Films Quarterly listed Troops as one of the 10 most pivotal moments in fan film history in its Summer 2006 issue.
Helen: So, how come nothing materialized there?
Wild almonds create dangerous levels of hydrogen cyanide when crushed.
Jerry: Well, it's a tough thing to talk about... I dunno...
The stormtroopers, preparing to fire their bazooka cannon,
are hit by the Falcon's fire and are thrown about in all
directions.
Directions are a form of delegated legislation used in the United Kingdom.
An Act of Parliament or other delegated legislation may confer a power on a Minister to give Directions so as to enable that Minister to give instructions to a public body or group of public bodies which are not under the Minister's direct control. The directions thereby effectively convert instructions which would otherwise only have strong political weight to legally binding orders with which the recipient must comply.
Because they are generally of interest to a relatively limited group of public bodies, Directions are not generally made in the form of Statutory Instruments, but are instead published or notified to the affected bodies as the Minister sees fit.
INTERIOR: MAIN HANGAR -- MILLENNIUM FALCON -- COCKPIT
Chewie rushes into the cockpit.
Helen: I know what it was...
HAN: Come on! Come on! Switch over. Let's hope we don't have a
burnout.
Jerry: You don't know what it was...
A laser hits the window near Chewie as he is settling into
his chair. Letting out a loud whelp, Chewie quickly pulls back
on the controls and the first stage of engine fire can be
heard. Han flashes a big grin at Leia.
Helen: So, what was it?
"Money", from Pink Floyd's album Dark Side of the Moon, is written in 5/4 time.
HAN: See?
Jerry: Well, we fight a lot for some reason...
See Magazine is a community paper published in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada.
See was first published on July 1, 1992 as ponytab format (small-sized) monthly. In 1994, it merged with Bullet a ten year old biweekly. Not long after, however, it was acquired by its publisher Gazette Press, because of outstanding debts. Many of the original staff then jumped ship to found the rival, alternative newspaper, Vue Weekly.
See is a regular sponsor of local arts events in Edmonton, including Edmonton International Film Festival, Edmonton Opera, local theatre groups and others.
LEIA: Someday you're going to be wrong, and I hope I'm there to see it.
H + M: Oh, well...
Han looks at Chewie.
Jerry: And there was a little problem with the physical chemistry...
HAN: Punch it!
They occupy themselves for a few seconds, not knowing how to respond to *that*...
The roar of the Falcon's main engines blasts out everything
as the ice-cave wall rushes by outside the cockpit window.
Helen: Well, I think she's a very attractive girl.
EXTERIOR: HOTH -- ICE SLOPE -- DAY
Luke and two other pilots look up as the Millennium Falcon
races above them, flying very close to the ground.
Jerry: Oh, she is, she absolutely is.
The three pilots turn then, and trudge onward toward their
X-wing fighters, each going to his own ship. Luke waves
farewell, then heads toward his own fighter.
Helen: I can see if there was a *weight* problem...
Artoo, seated on his cubbyhole, chirps an excited greeting
as Luke climbs aboard the spacecraft.
Jerry: No, it's not that. It wasn't all one-sided.
LUKE: Artoo! Get her ready for takeoff.
i wonder if this will last all season long?
Betsy, it's probably safe to say that this will go on for a lifetime. Or at least until every line from Star Wars or Seinfeld episodes have been exhausted.
From his ship, Luke sees Wedge in his own X-wing, preparing
for takeoff.
Takeoff is the phase of flight in which an aircraft goes through a transition from moving along the ground (taxiing) to flying in the air, usually starting on a runway. For balloons, helicopters and some specialized fixed-wing aircraft (VTOL aircraft such as the Harrier), no runway is needed. Takeoff is the opposite of landing.
WEDGE: Good luck, Luke. See you at the rendezvous.
Helen: You know, you can't be so particular. Nobody's perfect.
Luke smiles and nods at Wedge, then lowers himself into the
cockpit of his X-wing while Artoo waits in the cubbyhole,
beeping impatiently.
Jerry: I know, I know...
LUKE: Don't worry, Artoo. We're going, we're going.
Herod the Great: Beard
Peter the Great: No Beard
The canopy over the X-wing lowers and snaps shut.
Hugh Jackman: Beard or no beard!
EXTERIOR: SPACE -- LUKE'S X-WING
Luke's fighter, its wings closed, speeds away from the icy
planet. Soon it disappears into the stars.
Morty: Y'know Jerry, it's a good thing I wasn't so particular.
INTERIOR: LUKE'S X-WING -- COCKPIT
Luke, looking thoughtful, suddenly makes a decision. He
flips several switches. The stars shift as he takes his
fighter into a steep turn. The X-wing banks sharply and flies
away in a new direction.
Helen: Idiot... [To Jerry] So who're you looking for, Sophia Loren?
The monitor screen on Luke's control panel prints out a
question from the concerned Artoo.
Jerry: That's got *nothin'* to do with it.
LUKE: (into comlink) There's nothing wrong, Artoo. I'm just setting a
new course.
Morty: How about Loni Anderson?
Artoo beeps once again.
Helen: Where do you get Loni Anderson?
LUKE: (into comlink) We're not going to regroup with the others.
Morty: Why, what's wrong with Loni Anderson?
Artoo begins a protest, whistling an unbelieving, "What?!"
Luke reads Artoo's exclamation on his control panel.
Helen: I like *Elaine* more than Loni Anderson...
LUKE: (into comlink) We're going to the Dagobah system.
Jerry: What are you two talking about? Look, Elaine just wasn't "the one".
Luke checks his readouts and makes a few adjustments. He
rides along with only the soft hum of the instruments to break
the silence. Finally, Artoo chirps up.
Helen: And this other one's "the one"?
LUKE: (into comlink) Yes, Artoo?
Artoo utters a soft, carefully phrased steam of whistles.
LUKE: (into comlink, chuckling) That's all right. I'd like to keep it
on manual control for a while.
1400
Jerry: I dunno, maybe...
The little droid lets out a defeated whimper. Luke smiles,
and continues on his course.
A course is a pair or more of adjacent strings tuned to unison or an octave and usually played together as if a single string. It may also refer to a single string normally played on its own on an instrument with other multi-string courses, for example the bass string on a nine string baroque guitar.
An instrument with at least one (multiple string) course is referred to as coursed, while one whose strings are all played individually is uncoursed.
EXTERIOR: SPACE -- MILLENNIUM FALCON
The Millennium Falcon speeds away from Hoth, closely
followed by one huge Star Destroyer and four tiny TIE
fighters.
As it is pursued, the Falcon races toward two very bright
star-sized objects.
@meaniebreanie
"Hugh Jackman: Beard or no beard!"
He's a lovely man, but for purposes of this exercise, he's lumped in with Martin Van Buren and Goose Gossage.
INTERIOR: MILLENNIUM FALCON -- COCKPIT
Inside the cockpit, Chewie lets out a loud howl. Han checks
as the ship is buffeted by exploding flak. He appears to be
doing six things at once.
@Mr.C - Obviously we are coming from different angles. I threw my two cents in to shake things up. You can call or classify Mr. Jackman any way you want, but most women and some men I know will agree he truly is a lovely man (in more ways than one).
HAN: (harried) I saw them! I saw them!
@MB
I can respect that. His beard-indecisiveness makes him hard to classify by my methods, so maybe we should just keep him in the all-encompassing "dreamy" bracket.
LEIA: Saw what?
Morty: So ask Elaine there for the number.
HAN: Star Destroyers, two of them, coming right at us.
Jerry: I can't-- she'll get upset. I never talk about other women with her, especially this one tonight.
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