Thursday, April 01, 2010

Darcy R: A Poem to Brandon Davis

I swear this is not by Jewel, and if Hunter or Kim Smith (not her real name) says it is, they're lying anorexic bitch-bags.

I’m writing this letter to tell you

I don’t love you anymore

I don’t miss you

I never have.

The truth is, I tried, but never found

your adoration anything other than arduous

your niceties cliched

your praise thoughtless

and it has become unbearably obvious

that you love

me

with all the originality of romance novels

the manly man weakening the luscious flower

But do not be sad, nothing is lost, neither of us even loved/the other truly-/you only thought you did and I only wanted to.

BY JEWEL DARCY RICHARDS

I hope that Kardashian gives you VD. I'm a Dodger Blue Bell. Blake DeWitt already stared at my rack three times, and Manny asked me to comb his hair. I DON'T NEED YOU ANYMORE. HAVE FUN ON CELEBRITY FIT CLUB, PIG.

I miss you forever, BD.

13 comments:

MR. F said...

Him?

rbnlaw said...

1. Not to sound celebrity-ignorant, but who the fuck is this Brandon Davis douche?

2. Anyone else check out MSTI today?

You should.

MR. F said...

rbnlaw:
Yeah, who the hell is that guy?

Josh S. said...

Come on guys, he coined the term "Firecrotch" for Lindsay Lohan!

MR. F said...

I can't speak for rbnlaw, but I'm just staring blankly at the word "firecrotch."

Darcy Richards said...

Brandon is an a hole. He promised me his world. He gave me nothing. if you don't know the prick, he's a rich brat heir to something. Id call him the man versions of paris hilton, but that's redunbant.

rbnlaw said...

@Josh: Yeah, and. . . ?

rbnlaw said...

Gawd, I love you, Darcy.

Josh S. said...

Redunbant is my new favorite word.

Darcy Richards said...

Rbnlaw...are you nice? Will you be kind and remember things like my birthday and my first and last name? I'm alone again, naturally.

rbnlaw said...

I can and will do all of those things, Darby!.


Doh!

rbnlaw said...

I even put a period after an exclamation mark. See, your haveing a affect on me allready!!

Darcy Richards said...

I used to do well in English klass, but the teacher was like that guy in that book from what's-his-Russian.