Vicente Padilla (1-1, 8.04) vs. Mike Leake (0-0, 2.63).
COMMENTS: Today's promotion at the Great American Ball Park?
Tri-State Centers for Sight Senior Citizen Specials
Fans 60 and older may purchase select non-premium tickets at half-price in advance of game day only.
Great, that means there'll be a bunch of blind elderly people at today's game. But enough about the umpiring crew. What anyone can clearly see is that the Dodgers look like no team in their recent past. Whether Ned Colletti's baseball vision was to create an offensive juggernaut is debatable, but undoubtedly he was eying career years from Matt Kemp and Andre Ethier when signing them to new deals. Creating runs is the focal point of the Dodgers' attack right now; let's hope the pitching is rich and lends crafters of effective frames to this game.
I wonder what Doug Mientkiewicz is doing right now.
This will also serve as your Lakers playoff Game Thread; up 2-0 on the Thunder, they play tonight at 6:30 p.m. PT in Oklahoma City. Go Purple & Gold!
idea: Sax; words: Orel; music: Pedro
282 comments:
1 – 200 of 282 Newer› Newest»Furcal 6
Kemp 8
Ethier 9
Ramirez 7
Loney 3
Blake 5
DeWitt 4
Martin 2
Padilla 1
Lends crafters?
I've heard many puns, but none cornea than that.
Might as well go ahead and change the name of the blog to "Puns of Steve Garvey".
Iris for a decent starting outing from Battle Toad today.
I hope the Dodgers can lasik runs on the board by the third inning.
I hope Matt Kemp keeps raking.
Imagine Matt Kemp overtaking Albert Pupils for MVP.
Kemp was once the pupil, now he is the master
Also, I enjoyed the music Pedro supplied for this post.
I don't want to say you guys socket puns, but...
I hope the Reds get eye cancer and die
is that a pun?
I am kidding of course
I know it's not a pun
Cancer seems harsh, how about a rampant outbreak of pink eye?
Nice, I got the conflicting edit error and a double post all in one. Guess I'm game ready.
Here's to stye-mying the Red's offense today.
and for real this time, I don't wish eye cancer on anyone
No take backs FB, if Dusty Baker (real version) comes down with a tumor, it's on you.
I kid of course. It's probably karmic retribution for all the pitching arms he's ruined over the years.
what if he already has a tumor? am I on the hook then?
I hope the Dodgers hussle tonight and don't cataract it.
Here's vision nobody gets eye cancerAIDs!
@FB - the tumors don't get take backs either so you're in the clear.
phew!
It's eye-ronic that Gagne's Lucky Glasses hasn't weighed in on this thread.
If anyone makes a pun w/ wet age related macular degeneration I'm going to kill myself.
(sorry, I'm a stepson of an optometrist)
They say puns are the lowest form of humour...stye beg to differ.
Per Dylan Hernandez:
"Hong-Chih Kuo activated; Jeff Weaver to the DL."
uh oh what is wrong with Jeff?
Maybe his is just paranoid that he might get hurt.
"If anyone makes a pun w/ wet age related macular degeneration I'm going to kill myself."
I'd try, but I wouldn't want you getting angry. Maybe I'll take a shot at it later.
(So, I guess you could say my next pun will be a rage-belated vernacular denigration.)
OT, but sighted in the alley behind my office at lunch. Complete with Mr. Fusion.
Looks like someone souped-up the flux capacitor on that one.
Now we know Mr. C works in Hill Valley.
As long as you don't live in Hilldale. It's nothing but a breeding ground for tranks, lobos and zipheads.
@DB 2:03p: Does that make you the Daddy Macula?
Dammit. Now I'm getting all sentimental about my days working at BttF: The Ride.
Tweet from MLB:
"Another reason baseball is beautiful. Kurt Suzuki hits 3-run HR off CC Sabathia. CC gets Suzuki to hit into triple play. Symmetry."
LOVE. IT. I [heart] symmetry.
Josh said:
"It's nothing but a breeding ground for tranks, lobos and zipheads."
Can you elaborate?
@MrC - I once helped a friend reassemble a DeLorean in Pittsburgh. We started with the thing in pieces, literally; it came in cardboard boxes. He kept a week-by-week photo blog, week 2 gives you an idea of how many pieces I'm talking about.
So if your office alley is in the vicinity of western Pennsylvania, I may know the owner.
The soundtrack to this post was magnificent. Cheers, Pedro.
@Jason
My office is exactly 2,168 Miles from Western PA, so I'm guessing not.
Unless you meant near in the cosmic sense, then it's practically right next door.
Am I missing something with the soundtrack to this post? Huh?
@Jason
Also, the DMC you rebuilt actually looks a damn sight better than this one up close.
Cool project! My brother rebuilt an beat-down old MGB years ago, and I've had the bug to do it since. I don't realistically expect to do it, but I can still daydream.
So I notice the great satan did not accept his minor league assignment.
Happy trails, Voldemortiz!
The Brewers won 20-0 today. If the Dodgers want to still hold the title of most run-scoringest team in baseball at the end of the day, they will have to score at least 5 runs.
The Dodgers may want to destroy anything he touched. There's a good chance he was able to split his pitching ineptitude and make horcruxes.
But they'd need a very magically powerful weapon to destroy his horcruxes. I bet Casey's beard could have done it.
Ramon Ortiz is a living horcrux.
"Ramon Ortiz is a living horcrux."
Then we need Chadley Widebottom to chop his head off.
(This thread has gone to some straaaange places, and it's still 20 minutes to first pitch.)
@Josh
Though not a baboon in sight, thankfully.
Just purchased a set of tickets at the Premier Club level at Petco Park for the Friday night game on May 14. We'll be the ones wearing Blue seated amongst the Padres season ticket holders not far behind home plate.
Haven't decided where I want to sit for the next day's game. Probably among the people.
If any of you other area knuckleheads end up heading to the games that weekend, let me know so we can congregate over beverages.
Strange, I see a baboon. Though that may just be my wet age related macular degeneration
Don't make me come over there, Jason.
Unless you're at that bar, then please make me come over there.
{slinks away giggling}
@DB - I actually am at a bar though not the one usually pictured. Instead my afternoon will be spent at the Red Hook release party for their new Big Ballard Imperial IPA which is conveniently occurring at my neighborhood pub (since both the pub and I reside in the Ballard neighborhood of Seattle, original home of Red Hook). Mighty tasty brew if you like hops. And I'm not just saying that because they are plying me with free swag.
@Jason
I am insanely jealous of your Red Hook fortune. My only solace is that in a couple of days I'll be staying in my usual hotel in DC that offers Red Hook as its house minibar beer. Hotel Rouge...Red Hook...get it? They also have Red Stripe for free during their happy hour downstairs.
DRE!
Gettin' busy early.
Yawn
I like this playful HR contest between Bison and Dre...hopefully they challenge each other to dizzying new heights this season. I'm talking 40 and 40!
Damn, now they get to bat.
I know it's still pretty early in the season, but damn it I love looking at the box scores and seeing this teams batting lines.
Bungling plays like that are why my avatar isn't smiling.
That's what, 13 out 15 games with one or more errors now?
This pattern looks familar...
Martin still batting 8th has me convinced that Joe Torre likes seeing:
6 - Blake
7 - DeWitt
on his lineup card even more than we do.
bradford goes first
If we moved them up to 5 and 6, they would have the correct number of letters, as well.
This observation was brought to you by too many EK off-day puzzles.
See you in LA soon bradford.
Comicon Suh selected second.
way to keep his pitch count down guys.
Gameday has no trajectory or velocity data for Padilla's first pitch to Dickerson.
It was too slow and weird to exist.
Nice to see Padilla getting some K's.
Umm... Gameday has this entry:
Pitch 2 Ball (59.4 MPH undefined)
Did Battle Toad throw an eefus pitch?
@Josh
It was confused because he was already winding up to deliver the second before the first arrived at the plate.
damn, getting shut down by leake.
@Jason
He actually throws it pretty frequently. Gameday still does not believe.
what the hell? two runs? what is this nonsense?!
padilla looks decent tonight, how did the reds score?
fellas, we have not scored in three straight innings. Something is very wrong.
Padilla threw that pitch last Sunday in anticipation of its arrival today.
error on loney for an unearned run.
i think they changed it but it was an error in my book.
this umpire owes us a run from yesterday.
thanks nic
What is this strange decent pitching and relatively silent batting? My world is turned upside down.
Or rightside up.
come on guys get it out of the infield at least.
This is the quickest game all season (or so my Red Hook addled brain perceives)
damn you and your range Phillips!
lets go raf
damn you and your range Phillips!
alright!
whew, another run. I was getting withdraws.
Raffy!
Nice work Raffy.
I see eyesight is much more fertile ground for puns than volcanos.
@EK
I'll take Vulcanology any day, Ranier shine.
Who doesnt lava good pun?
@DB 3:59p: How much were the tickets?
And are you sure you want to wear blue? What about camo?
remember last year when a 3-1 lead made you feel kind of comfortable, i dont feel that way anymore
Padilla just mowing 'em down.
Who nicknamed him "Battletoad"? That's fantastic.
@NicJ
I'll stop Etna thing to sneak in a couple of good ones.
Battletoad: The Face Breaker
Mount St Helens, bitch.
(I wanted to demonstrate how I knew the name of another volcano even though I couldn't think of a pun for it)
way to miss your location by a mile padilla.
@Casey
Fred's Brim, IIRC
Shasta worst one yet, EK.
I'm claiming Battletoad.
FB, you wanna fight about it?
@Sax
Tix were only $70 US a pop! These are the premier club level w access to the top shelf stuff, padded seats, and wait staff.
crap.
EK, you get credit for that one because your wording made me laugh so hard.
Does anything rhyme or sound like Vesuvius?
DP play ball please, this pitcher can hit.
Mr C, now all the volcano puns you had saved up earlier are erupting.
(that's not even technically a pun, but I used a volcano-related word so I at least deserve participation credit for trying)
why cant our F***ing pitchers throw to first base
christ what the hell did we practice in spring training.
In play no outs to Leake?
Come on VPad, that was the f'ing pitcher
They've got the rancho ardiendo going on now
Ahhh, a sac bunt, perhaps?
Vesuvius is an awesome volcano.
Is rancho ardiendo right now? My gameday is screwing up.
Rancho is indeed ardiendo, thanks Sax.
@DB 5.20p: $70 is a steal.
I like how you clarified it was USD in case I thought it was HKD or something.
big K
just one more out please.
okay, that strikeout of Dickerson was a good start. Two out, bases still juicy for the Reds
i hate how the iPhone audio is like 10 years behind either the iPhone gameday or the one on my 'puter
Padilla's got 7K? Wow.
dont get burned on 0-2 please.
@EK
I knew I'd eventually have use for them. I kept thinking of them all day Sunday and cracking myself up because they were so bad.
the fact that pitch #3 to Orlando Cabrera is taking forever on Gameday, does not make me very hopeful
Nobody wants to hear about your 'puter, Sax.
unreal
In play, runs. Mother fudger.
I'm out - driving home.
Steiner is an effing jinx. As soon as he said, "This is far and away Padilla's best performance of the season", base hit base hit, errant throw, infield RBI.
if we could throw to first base this inning would be over, but now votto's up, great
oh, you meant computer.
Crap.
OK, This inning can end now!
Had him at 0-2 and couldn't close the deal.
strikeout please.
Mr C: the guy on 2nd's last name can be spelled with the letters in 'Eyjafjallajokull'.
But you already knew that.
I think the first (and possibly only) person I ever saw/read calling his computer a "'puter" was Deathlok (but not this guy in specific).
oh god, i can sense it coming
They play Zombie Nation when someone fouls a pitch off their foot?
FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
oh nevermind he got it.
Padilla's name can be spelled with 'Get out of this inning already!'... plus a 'p'
I'm talking about Deathlok I, I believe.
Well that was close
3-2 Dodgers after five
phew
holy balls that was close
time to score 17 runs this inning
Time for runs.
bulls up by 19? wow.
i thought Leake was supposed to have a problem with BB's.
Leake has a problem with AE
Sax, I just clicked on that link and did a search on 'puter.' I apparently need wikipedia's confirmation before believing you.
I dare you to edit the wikipedia entry to add your bit about him being the first to use 'puter'
damn, manny injured.
Manny is 1-3, dropping his avg. to .415
What's going on with Manny?
WHAT? INJURED?
at a computer...help!
ok I just tuned in - what happened to Manny?
looked like a leg injury.
didnt look very serious.
@dylanohernandez: Manny Ramirez appeared to hurt himself running to first base for a sixth-inning single. He was taken out of the game.
Actually, I knew a guy who did say 'puter'. It was in Jr. High, but I don't know if youthful indiscretion makes in more acceptable.
his calf again?
His calf is mooing.
oof that was terrible
UGH!
C'mon Blake, drive in a run or at least ardiendo the rancho.
crap.
way to run out of the inning.
Inning over.
Ok, I gotta run. I think I'm about to be drafted...
hope its not the raiders.
Bills getting CJ Spiller - i like it. Original Beast Mode may be shown the door finally
lead off double, this is where the wheels fall off.
that was a crazy stupid pitch
Can Padilla not throw a fastball?
has he been trying that shit tonight?
Wait... Wahhh? Five minutes I'm away and the Dodgers are down? Ugh, back to the Red Hook.
Lookin' iffy, VP. Offense, do that thing you do soon.
Leake can probably go through the 8th.
GA!!!!!!!
FUCK YES!!!!!!
GA is a dodger officially!!
he's been so close so far this year, I was thinking he'd never get one!
that was a no-doubter
GA crushed that one.
That's how it's done!
GA!!!!
now, can the pen hold a one run lead in this park.
ehh...
Highest run production in the majors retained for another day, at least.
GA baby! Gives us back the lead, 5-4.
Here comes Hunchy
Kuo returns!
vPad, 6.0 IP, 4R, 3ER, 8Ks, 0BB
Dodgers are now again the most run-scoringist team in baseball.
nice play by dewitt.
hope Kuo is ok.
I love bunt ground outs.
Wait, who is injured...
Kuo fell on that last play.
Oh no, not Hunchy!
someone watching the game give me scoopage
Hey, Kuo's back healthy!!!
No? Okay nevermind.
nothing too bad, the elbow is safe.
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