Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Downsizing Comes to SoSG

So, could you tell us exactly what it is you do here?

It was inevitable, I suppose. We've been poring over the year-end financials for this website, and the end result is that increased expenses have us operating slightly cash-flow negative. At this rate, sort of like Jose Offerman's managerial career, it doesn't look like we're going to make it to March. We have no choice, then, but to downsize the SoSG staff.

Put another way, one of the seven Sons is going to get iced.

But rather than pick numbers out of a hat or play Russian roulette, we decided to make sport of it; why not take the humiliation public, and get our readers involved in the downsizing?

Here's the rules, then:

1. The campaign period starts today. Each Son can campaign on his behalf through publishing posts why he deserves to be spared. The campaign period will run roughly one week, until Monday, January 25, 2010.

2. Readers can get involved campaigning for or against a Son. Any reader can email us with a quick post about why a certain Son deserves to stay on staff, or why a certain Son has to go. Either way, we'll take a look at the post, and if it's fit to print, we'll run it. Some of you readers may not know as much about all the Sons, so feel free to use this and this as reference material.

3. On Monday, January 25, 2010, we'll run a poll and keep it up for 24 hours. Reader vote will determine which Son has his flame extinguished. And then, there will be six.

I know this is a really emotional time for us all, and I just ask that you all be sensitive here. It's not personal. Well, except for toward one of us.

26 comments:

Greg said...

Why don't you all agree to get paid 85% of your current rate (six-sevenths) and then you can keep everyone?

Meaniebreanie said...

Sax, where have you been? There is no democracy in corporate america. You practice Jack Welch's theory and eliminate the underperforming or least contributing son. Another option found in baseball, eliminate the one who whines the most and wants to go.

Fred's Brim said...

or trade him to a Cardinals blog for a more leftist perspective

Ryan said...

Does Pedro Gurerro have "people skills"?

Steve Sax said...

Greg, thanks for the idea. We ran that thought by our HR department (whom we then fired as well, to save more money). And the truth of the matter is, this blog provides such a lifestyle that none of us wants to go down to the 85% income level (see: McCourt, Jamie).

Monday to Sunday, we hit all the clubs, and everybody knows us when we pull up. I got the real big posse with me, yeah I'm deep,
and if you're looking for me, I'm in VIP.

I can't stop, partying, partying.

Greg said...

Also, you really have to be a hardcore fan of the blog to cast an informed vote. I don't even look at who wrote the post most of the time.

Still hoping this is some sort of April Fool's joke.

Steve Sax said...

Only six of us will be laughing come Jan 26. Trust me.

Neeebs said...

Awesome. This is going to be FUN! Are you listening Lasorda? Pedro?

what_difference_does_it_make said...

Wait, you guys get paid?!??

Mr. Customer said...

@Greg

Voluntary pay cuts? Man, you've got some set of avocados!

Mr. Customer said...

For the record, this may simultaneously be the best idea ever and the worst idea ever.

Greg said...

I really need to change that picture, huh?

Newspapers and other businesses have done pay cuts to avoid layoffs.

Neeebs said...

@MC:

I vote "best idea".

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

I vote Pedro Guerrero. I hate his smarmy attitude, and the way he goes on and on in the game threads just drives me insane.

Mr. Customer said...

@greg

In all seriousness, my company has done the same from time to time. It's certainly better than getting canned. Admittedly, the entertainment value is somewhat lower.

I was really only looking for a way to work in the double entendre. Wear your produce proudly, I say.

Greg said...

@MrC

Amen!

Josh S. said...

Do Lasorda and Pedro even get paid anymore? I figured they had reached Milton status and were in the basement behind some boxes. Would anyone notice if they were cut?

Mr. Customer said...

With only six Sons, how will the SoSG board of directors be able to break those pivotal 3-3 votes?

Orel said...

cage match

Dusty Baker said...

This is more "right-sizing" than "down-sizing," in the contemporary vernacular, correct?

I think the Sons should have to play an Assassins' Circle match to decide who goes.

Naw, scratch that, cause then cruel fate might snuff out the flame of my favorite Son(s).

No, this should be strictly performance and attendance based, and the choice is clear on that front.

Dusty Baker said...

Also, I think Sons should set up a system whereby concerned readers can text a certain number and make an instant donation to the SoSG relief efforts. Get Alyssa Milano to Twitter about it 72,000 times/minute. Excellent way to raise cash so you can expand (by expansion, I mean more snark, more Star Wars and Simpsons references, and finally going public with that Assassins' Circle video game).

Jason said...

There's always the relegation option. Pedro or Lasorda could be sent down to an Isotopes blog.

Fred's Brim said...

haha good idea, Jason!

Dusty Baker said...

I like that, Jason! Lasorda is sort of the Bolton of SoSG, Pedro the West Ham.

rbnlaw said...

I've had it out for Lasorda ever since he pushed me into the light during the Assassin's Circle game.

Off with his avitar! Guerrero is next.

karina said...

I only know i adore some of the Sons and they pretty much know who they are. Having said that, i won't be voting to spare any of the rest.