Friday, August 28, 2009

LA News Leaves Delino Dazed, Confused, and (see pull-down menu)

Sometimes, I need to actually get news from the LA News Websites. Like tonight, when I can breathe smoke just by stepping out of my house and have to decide "Hey, maybe the Delinos should get away from the fire-covered mountain." And what does my wandering eye see on the NBC LA site?

Does this story make me sad? Actually... it makes me FURIOUS. Fortunately, that's an option in the f-ing PULL-DOWN MENU.

I'm not alone, however, because...

Ooo. Scratch that. While I'm writing this, LA has apparently turned its attention to much more pressing matters:

I try not to be a dreaded "East Coast Snob." Actually, I don't try that hard. But I do expect my city's news service to be a half-step more legit than my own reporting on all things Cookie Puss, Man-E-Faces, and Living Dead. And on a night like tonight, when the local news sites spend more space covering Jacko's anesthetic habits than possible evacuation instructions, I'm reminded of the fine words of Steve Martin...

Look! I have to maintain my dignity. People have to believe what I say. This is news! This is truth! (WEATHER REPORT BEGINS) Hey, it's time for the wac-wac-Wacky Weekend Weather! Let's look at our weather map. There's a low coming in over Pasedna... that's Pasadena, here, no, there...There were clouds here but the Council decided against it, so there's no rain in Beverly Hills. We'll just have some sun, and snow is what we'll have. And now the car phone report. Sunspot activity is at a minimum, so there will be little interference. So make that big important call. You probably won't be disconnected."

6 comments:

Dusty Baker said...

If it makes you feel any better, I am right there with you against the horrific state of what now passes of news.

My only take on this post is that this phenomenon is not just limited to LA-area "news." This is a phenomenon that you'll find damned near anywhere. I lived in DC in the 1990s and the "news" there was just utter fucking tripe. Always led with the nightly gruesome murder and would then segue to the weather segment that entailed segment after segment of exaggerated, breathless reporting on any weather cycle that was remotely outside of the norm. Flash forward to today when the same "news" formula is played out on the internets.

MSNBC.com is just a pioneer in the water cooler news websites. Others are doing it, and look for more.

Dusty Baker said...

And if you ever get a chance, be sure to vote the opposite of basic logic, so for instance be sure to pull the lever for "Happy" about forest fires and "Sad" that the little boy was rescued from the well. If enough people do so, it throws all their metrics off.

Steve Sax said...

@Delino: well you'll be excited to hear we recruited that crazy anchor who sent pictures of herself in a bikini to Mf and Mrs Rich Eisen.

Meanwhile, in Delaware news, there is a great yardsale in Dover tomorrow.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Great. I was all ready to e-mail you guys a story about Conrad Murray's credentials. Now what the hell am I supposed to do with it?

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

5% are laughing at the fires. I hope to high heaven that those are jokes.

Delino DeShields said...

Sax - the news in Delaware is that they're trying to legalize sports gambling. Suck on that! (And the yard sale's in Claymont, jerky)

The NBC news site pulldown bar needs better adjectives. I mean, no "moist"?