Monday, January 25, 2010

SoSG Downsizing: The Referendum

This is it: the moment of reckoning. Now I know how Jason Todd felt.

One week ago today, we opened the campaign for the Sons of Steve Garvey, with the end result being the downsizing of a SoSG staff member. SoSG readers would get the opportunity to pick which Son gets the axe.

When the week started with pure platform definition, I had hopes that this would be a clean campaign. But it was only a matter of time before it devolved into unabashed bribery, celebrity and fellow blogger endorsements, spirited debates, and "baby" kissing and flesh-pressing. At least one SoSG reader tried to save us from our descent into moral turpitude with some talented graphic design.

But now, it's time for judgment. Ask not what each Son can do for you. Ask what you can do to get rid of your least-favorite Son.

Which Son Should Be Downsized from the SoSG Staff?
Alex Cora
Delino DeShields
Eric Karros
Lasorda
Orel
Pedro Guerrero
Steve Sax
  
pollcode.com free polls

UPDATE 11:10a (Sax): Sorry, forgot to mention that as per the campaign rules, the poll will close at 10:00 AM on Tuesday, 1/26/10.

UPDATE 3:13p (Orel): Thanks to Dusty for the picture!

80 comments:

Dusty Baker said...

I will not vote for anyone who has used PEDs.

And please, no one just leave your ballot blank.

Dusty Baker said...

I will be on MSNBC with Chris Matthews right after the poll closes to do some post-election spin and prognostication.

Jason said...

And I'll be eagerly awaiting the poll results at my local pub. It's like Massachusetts all over again. Except with less male nudity, thankfully.

Dusty Baker said...

How many times can we vote? Is this like Cook County, Illinois?

Dusty Baker said...

@ Jason-

Heh-I actually just wrote a post with "It's like Massachusetts all over again" as you just wrote, word for word, but decided to take a different approach.

Dusty Baker said...

Sax, did you just vote "Orel"?

Jason said...

@Dusty - You're still welcome at the pub. This is the view

Dusty Baker said...

Holy spit, Jason!

I just canceled with Chris Matthews and with MLB Network. I'm heading to the pub!

Meaniebreanie said...

My opinion may not always be welcome or appreciated, but I am never shy to express one. As a new reader to SoSG I recently read some of the old threads. It struck me that I never came across any contributions from either Lasorda or Pedro Guerrero.

Even though there is zero contribution, you can’t eliminate Lasorda as he is the Marlon Brando or “The Godfather of Dodger Blue”. On the other hand Pedro Guerrero must go. In true Napoleon Dynamite fashion – VOTE PEDRO.

As Jimmy Buffet says, "It's 5:00 somewhere". My 5:00 will be here sooner than yours. I will be lifting a glass toasting all the sons as the election results roll in. Salute!

Jason said...

In the interest of full disclosure, the last snapshot was looking only to the right. So for those that lean to the left side of the (bar) spectrum, enjoy.

Dusty Baker said...

Did I spy some Old Crow along the bottom middle???

Dusty Baker said...

Pedro off to an early "lead" but I don't know what precincts are still out there, so it could be skewed this early on.

Jason said...

Yup, that's Old Crow. There's also 3 varieties of Wild Turkey, 4 types of Jameson and Bombay Saphire on tap amongst the 840-ish bottles.

And maybe Pedro didn't understand his need to campaign. He's not exactly known for his high IQ after all.

Dusty Baker said...

@ Jason

What is the ale situation in that joint?

Greg said...

Two days of voting? Man, if only real democracy had such loose standards! Also, just cuz Lasorda and Pedro don't post, it doesn't mean they're not valuable contributors! They might be providing a place to live for one of the other sons or hold the keys to the secret tunnels around Dodgers Stadium parking lot so the sons could get out of the parking lot before the sun rises the next morning.

Fred's Brim said...

Jason, where is that?
i want to go there!

Greg said...

@Jason - It's sad how many different types of flavoured vodkas there are.

rbnlaw said...

@Jason:
That's not a pub. It's a liver demolition site.

Fred's Brim said...

You can select more than one at a time? Fun!

Maybe this should have been done like HOF voting, with 1st through 7th place voting

Jason said...

The pictures are from a place called Vons in downtown Seattle, about 5 blocks from the Pike Place Market. If there is ever a Son's road trip to the Pacific Northwest (World Series 2010?), I'll host happy hour there. Take a look at their booze menu now to save time when ordering.

fanerman said...

They brought Jason Todd back from the grave.

rbnlaw said...

Oh, Lasorda's a goner.

Fred's Brim said...

oh man, Jason, that is awesome!
although if I was there, like an arsehole I would probably just order a vodka soda with well vodka

An important question regarding their selection: do they have Devil's Spring vodka there?

Jason said...

No Devil's Spring in the state of Washington. But if you need to get drunk in the absolute minimum amount of time, Vons does carry Everclear.

Dusty Baker said...

I'll bet some assholz walk up and look around for 20 minutes at all that booze, then order a Jack and Coke, no?

karina said...

I'm shocked. This is a matter of a Son leaving us and all you can discuss is vodka.

In the other hand, that's why i like the readers of this site so much.

I came to discover what Devil's Spring and Everclear are. You're corrupting my innocence.

P.s: Jason, any place with a large variety of martinis is a nice place to be.

karina said...

Until this moment, the only one Son who hasn't received any vote is Sax. Orel has received one vote and Eric Karros two.

Lasorda has eight votes, i guess it's hard to vote against anyone who carries that last name.

Dusty Baker said...

Do we need to disclose who we vote for, and why, like baseball writers often do regarding their HOF ballots?

Jason said...

Sorry about your innocence, Karina. If it helps, there is a 8-foot wheel of drinks on the wall that gets spun every 30 minutes to establish the drink special. Feel free to ask, they'll let you give it a whirl. You can pretend to be a kid again while the wheel spins then slip right back to adult mode when it lands on $3.50 Manhattans.

Fred's Brim said...

Manhattans, the only drink containing a cherry that a man should drink

for $3.50 though? - that's no joke

Jason, what have you been drinking?

Gagne's lucky glasses said...

Back from my winter holiday in Canuckland and still drunk on maple syrup and "the clear", I inadvertently voted for the wrong son to be banished from the land of Dodger forever. I checked the results and it doesn't appear that I will be a swing state so I will not have the guilt of having thrown the last stone at a public bludgeoning.

Jason said...

Today I'll be sipping chilled tequila since it's raining outside (in Seattle? Shocking!) and I'm dreaming of spring training amongst the cacti of Arizona. The tequila selection here is quite nice, though not pictured. I stick to the Cabo Wabo reposado.

Steve Sax said...

Let's knock off a Son, combined with let's knock down a couple. Pretty sweet comment thread, SoSG readers.

I'm all over Vons, Jason. BTW, did you ever get the FvD package?

Dusty Baker said...

Gagne's Lucky Glasses pulls a West Palm Beach on us.

Dusty Baker said...

Cabo Wabo reposado, eh? As an added binus, its name is in iambic pentameter.

Jason said...

@Sax - the FvD package hasn't shown up yet but I have faith in the USPS.

@Dusty - Shakespeare would be proud until he learned Sammy Haggar was prominently involved in the name.

Mr. Customer said...

@DB, Jason

It's trochaic tetrameter, actually. The bard dodged the bullet on that one.

*punches self in the face for excessive pedantry*

Dusty Baker said...

Mr. C-

Funny thing is that I knew it wasn't iambic pentameter, but figured it worked closely enough to get the point across, and that you would certainyl pipe in and note the correct meter for the record. Man, do I know my fellow constant SoSG posters!

Dusty Baker said...

I'm getting a lot of pressure from Roger Ailes at FOX News to go ahead and call it for Pedro. I'm resisting, as the polls are still open for hours here on the West Coast and in Hawaii. And I haven't seen many of the suburban Ohio and Pennsylvania returns coming in yet, which could possibly turn the race in Lasorda's favor.

Dusty Baker said...

Surprising strength from Delino. He's the Ross Perot of this campaign. His populist message seems really to have propelled him in arease where there is anger at local MLB teams (Kansas City, Pittsburgh, Baltimore).

Jason said...

Pedro has nearly 50% of the vote. That's beyond the plurality result we should have expected. Maybe his ties to OJ Simpson were his undoing?

Mr. Customer said...

@db

I'm nothing if not predictable. Even when I know perfectly well it's bad form, I still can't resist.

Dusty Baker said...

I thought SoSG was "rightsizing" not "downsizing"?

SynergyLeverageParadigmOutoftheboxBestPractice

Dusty Baker said...

Keep it that way, Mr. C! It's a good thing.

Even in the face of LFC'c meltdown, you are consistent.

Neeebs said...

I'm still waiting for the drink special to spin on the "Tranya" slot.

The best Intergalactic Drink ever.

fanerman said...

Speaking of intergalactic drinks, I would at some point like to try a Cylon Shooter.

Dusty Baker said...

Neeebs-

That's disrespectful to the famed Pan-Galactic Gargleblaster.

fanerman said...

For answering all 9 parts of my question, I'd give Orel a -1 so he'd be down to 0 if I could.

Dusty Baker said...

http://www.dickperez.com/images/psd_dk_GuerreroPedro_lg.jpg

Pathetic, Pedro. Those Portland precincts are really starting to come in now, and it's not looking good. Are you not even going to carry your own city, Gore?

DanGarion said...

Meh.

Mr. Customer said...

I'm concerned that Sax will be drunk with power if he comes out of this unmarked. Even Nixon spotted McGovern DC and Massachusetts.

Josh S. said...

Sigh. I'm almost tempted to stuff the ballot box for Sax or Orel (Even though I really like those guys) so this all will end up having some kind of impact. If we had to endure all of these posts just to end up getting rid of a guy that never posts, then what was the point?

Needless to say, this has been my least favorite ongoing SoSG event and I'm greatly looking forward to tomorrow. Not blaming the Sons, though. This has been a tough offseason to find content to fill a Dodger blog.

Now, if there is some surprise left to come, and this turns into a puzzle or a contest, I may change my tune.

Dusty Baker said...

Sax will likely be drunk, power-filled or not.

Dusty Baker said...

If anything, this should be a wakeup call for Delino. People want results! They don't want petty partisan bickering.

Steve Sax said...

@Josh S.: Least-favorite? Oh, man. That hurts.

@DB: you beat me to the (spiked) punch-line.

Greg said...

@Karina - we all know a real martini's made with gin!

Dusty Baker said...

All those meaning to vote for Pat Buchanan would be freaked out to know that they had inadvertently voted for Delino due to problems with the ballot design.

Dusty Baker said...

+1 to Greg for stating the truth re martinis.

DanGarion said...

I'd much rather here talk about the Stuntmen instead of this crap...

Josh S. said...

@Sax: The pinups were OK, I guess. :)

Though I do the bulk of my SoSG surfing at work.

Neeebs said...

@Dusty:

Google Tranya and the photos will cause you to lose sleep. It may be time to change the Avatar again.

Dusty Baker said...

Sax, did you just vote for yourself?

Dusty Baker said...

Just give me some of that Old Janx Spirit, Neeebs.

Neeebs said...

Janx Spirit will depress the powers of the Force, don't you know?

Dusty Baker said...

@ Neeebs-

That's what I tried to explain to Mrs. Dusty Saturday night.

Dusty Baker said...

Pedro holding steady at 39 of 70 votes. I think when Ohio comes in, it could put him over.

Are we expecting a concession speech?

Dusty Baker said...

Pedro, this might be the time to send some paid RNC goons to the election office to pretend like it's a popular uprising among disenfranchised voters.

Dusty Baker said...

Ahhhh....seemes like just yesterday, the Sons were wee lads just cutting their teeth in the blogosphere:

http://www.sonsofstevegarvey.com/2007/07/home-run-title.html

Dusty Baker said...

Delino shaping up to be the 2000 election's Ralph Nader for Lasorda (but, in a reverse way, cause you don't actually want to win this vote).

Orel said...

Dusty's digging deep! Find any other nuggets?

Dusty Baker said...

Lower voter turnout than I expected. Must be the storms on the East Coast keeping old ladies from getting to the polling stations. Pedro's GOTV efforts aren't paying off. On the flip side, looks like Sax, Orel, and AC's work on absentee balloting is paying off.

Steve Sax said...

Only 15 more hours of voting...

Delino DeShields said...

Dusty - my ballot has been tainted due to a my head's increasing in size every year like Bonds. But I swear it's all natural.

Dusty Baker said...

@Delino

Butterfly ballot!

karina said...

@Jason the more you tell about Von's, the more it sounds like a good place to be. That spinning wheel is wonderful. I'm curious about "The Grand Smoky Martini", though i should ask for it and a cab at the same time :)

@Greg i'm a vodkatini kind of person but i've learned to appreciate the "real martinis".

@Fanerman you can't blame Orel. Those questions were awesome and i wanted to answer them myself.

@Mr Customer "It's trochaic tetrameter, actually. The bard dodged the bullet on that one."
do you realize how i enjoy those comments of yours?

karina said...

I won't vote, so i wanted to remind the SoSG faithful to vote wisely.

Dusty Baker said...

@Karina-

You won't vote? Come on! You're a citizen of this blog; it's your right and your duty!

Darned lethargic kids...they're so disengaged from the process.

Todd said...

D-Line fo' life!

karina said...

@DB I'm not disengaged, i'm neutral

Dusty Baker said...

Neutral? What are you, Switzerland? See what that's gotten them? Oh, wait, they actually have a pretty good setup there. Never mind. ;-)