Monday, May 21, 2007

AvB Update 7: Hitters Bare All

Today, on a very special Abes vs Babes: both teams take it all off and reveal what lies underneath. No, this doesn't mean you'll get to see our stash of James Madison soft-focus oil paintings (and sorry ladies, the Darryl shot is just to get your attention). It means today we uncover the full roster of both the Abes' and Babes' hitters, along with their corresponding stats. The black box that until now has shrouded AvB in mystery and begat rumors of game fixing will finally be lifted.

But first, an update on the Week 7 competition, which requires a brief look at Cameron Diaz' career. From her The Mask debut in '94 until she became the world's highest-paid actress in '03, Cameron basically ruled the world. But then the cracks started to show. First, Timberlake. Then, In Her Shoes. We became truly concerned when she started channeling Claudia Schiffer. And just when it seemed she was following another Timberlake Ex into Crazytown, a trifecta of Cameron-friendly events hit:

  • Her Shrek the Third had a $123 million opening weekend.
  • She got to hug it out with Kate Hudson (here's the story from the hardhitting reporters at Yahoo! India news).
  • Lastly and most importantly, Cameron's Babes protege Victor Diaz suddenly became the second coming of Ted Williams, batting 0.400 and belting 4 HR's during the week to win Player of the Week and help the Babes notch a Week 7 win.

With their strong week, The Babes extend their lead in Cumulative Stat Categories to 7-1 and push their lead in Weeks Won to 5-1-1. Here are the full scoreboards:

Week 7 Only:
The Abes The Babes
Avg 0.207 0.285
Runs 29 20
HRs 4 7
RBIs 22 27
SBs 4 4
ERA 3.67 2.50
Wins 2 3
Saves 0 0
Ks 37 35
Total 2 5
Cumulative:
The Abes The Babes
Avg 0.249 0.267
Runs 167 147
HRs 24 29
RBIs 134 136
SBs 13 25
ERA 4.52 3.88
Wins 6 13
Saves 0 0
Ks 167 193
Total 1 7

And, as promised, here are the full details on the Abes' and Babes' hitters:
Abes Hitters:
President Player Team Avg Runs HRs RBIs SBs
Woodrow Wilson Jack PIT 0.261 25 1 9 0
Woodrow Wilson Preston STL 0.219 6 1 5 2
Woodrow Wilson Craig ATL 0.172 6 1 2 0
Woodrow Wilson Josh WAS 0.156 5 0 0 2
Andrew Johnson Kelly ATL 0.275 32 6 26 4
Andrew Johnson Dan OAK 0.358 20 5 16 0
Andrew Johnson Reed TOR 0.265 6 1 7 2
Gerald Ford Lew MIN 0.217 1 0 3 0
James Monroe Craig DET 0.229 23 5 26 0
Richard Nixon Trot CLE 0.278 18 2 20 0
John F Kennedy Adam STL 0.239 11 0 9 2
Andrew Jackson Conor ARI 0.241 12 2 9 1
George Bush Dave MIL 0.176 2 0 2 0
Total: 0.249 167 24 134 13

Babes Hitters:
Maxim Girl Player Team Avg Runs HRs RBIs SBs
Penelope Cruz Jose, Jr SD 0.280 22 4 13 2
Penelope Cruz Nelson TEX 0.207 12 2 11 0
Brooke Burke Chris HOU 0.238 9 1 6 5
Brooke Burke Jaime SEA 0.320 4 0 1 0
Cameron Diaz Matt ATL 0.243 11 3 8 2
Cameron Diaz Victor TEX 0.308 6 5 9 0
Kim Smith Jason ARE 0.214 7 0 4 0
Roselyn Sanchez Freddy PIT 0.276 14 0 10 0
Roselyn Sanchez Anibal FLA 0.091 1 0 0 0
Sienna Miller Damian MIL 0.222 4 0 3 1
Evangeline Lilly Ted CHC 0.100 1 0 1 0
Cindy Crawford Carl TB 0.288 21 5 23 11
Eva Green Shawn NYM 0.318 23 5 21 3
April Scott Luke HOU 0.237 11 4 24 1
Brittany Murphy Tommy LAA 0.217 1 0 2 0
Total: 0.267 147 29 136 25

Coming Next Monday: pitching rosters and stats.

3 comments:

Trolley Dodger said...

Ah, yes, the Timberlake Conundrum. Does Justin enjoy the crazy type, or do they become crazy after being with him? ;D

Orel said...

Darryl Strawberry & Cameron Diaz—now that's a celebrity couple.

Steve Sax said...

Is it fair to have Ted Lilly on the Babes hitting squad, as a pitcher? Or is any Babe eligible?