There's No One Like Nomo

Real Nomo prepares to sue for defamation.
Hello, my name may or may not be Hideo Nomo, and I am honored and grateful to have been elevated (along with my homies-in-crime Baker & Stubbs) from comment section squatter to full-on Son of Steve Garvey. (I just hope Dad knows he has these extra mouths to feed now.)

A bit of my history with the Dodgers:

• I was christened a Dodger fan at birth, as most kids born in L.A. in the ‘70s were.
• I learned how to both love and hate the Dodgers from my great-grandfather, for whom saying “You goddamn Bums!” was as easy as breathing.
• I consider myself a lifelong Dodger fan, though there were long stretches of my life where I didn’t care at all about them. We’ll call those the dark times.
• The most recent dark time ended in 2008 when I went to a game and saw Chad Billingsley strike out 13 Marlins. I was back in with a vengeance.
• Prior to that game, the Dodgers had lost just about every game I attended.
• I attended two baseball camps in my youth, one “run” by Joe Torre and the other by Ron Cey. I couldn’t really play a lick, though.
• I had the 5-4 Dodgers square in my mom’s office pool for Game 1 of the 1988 World Series. Thanks again for the 50 bucks, Gibby.
• I attended a game at Dodger Stadium on the first night of the L.A. Riots. (I probably should have skipped it and snagged a TV.)
• I remember loving Mariano Duncan as a kid, for some reason that escapes me now. I think it was because I chanted his first name along with the tune that builds up to “Charge!”
• I have met only one Dodger in person.
• I sat in the Left Field Pavilion for the infamous “Two Dollar Tuesday” game of 2005. Drunk people are fun!

As I mentioned above, my fandom was reborn back in 2008. At that time, I scoured the internet for every nugget of Dodger info I could get my hands on, trying to make up for lost time.

That brought me here. A baseball blog that made stupid nerdy jokes and pop culture references? It’s like chocolate and something equally delicious that you may not have thought to mix with chocolate! I pulled up a seat at the “bar” and never left. Who’d have thought you could make genuine friends on the internet?


"Your nickname will be Nomo!"
Now, the Sons have deemed me worthy to actually contribute content to this great place they’ve built. What am I going to bring to the site? To be honest, I’m not quite sure yet. Despite some questionable non-Kemp-related offseason moves, I’m probably the most excited about an upcoming season I’ve been in years. There’s going to be some crazy stuff to talk about, people, and I can’t wait.

In the meantime, maybe I’ll start working on bringing Abes vs. Babes back.

Nomo photo: BBC Sport.

A Look Back at Abes vs Babes

Remember Abes vs Babes? Likely not, I understand. So to recap, last year the Maxim Hot 100 so embarrassed the US Presidents, 18-5-2, that the mercy rule was triggered and the contest was called off this year.

Well, seeking distraction from the Dodgers' recent misfortunes, I decided to take a look at how the showdown would have been shaping up this year. And lo and behold, despite the addition of the mighty Evan Longoria to the Babes' roster, the Abes would be leading the Babes 5 categories to 4:

Cumulative Stats thru 8/28/08:

	The Abes	The Babes
Avg	0.263	0.249
Runs	434	413
HRs	64	90
RBIs	407	381
SBs	49	31
ERA	4.20	4.03
Wins	71	85
Saves	88	3
Ks	1013	1084
Total	5	4

Conor Jackson (12 HRs, 68 RBIs), Brian Wilson (36 saves), and Randy Johnson (10 Ws, 148 Ks) have been the big dogs for the Abes.

*statistics normalized by AB/IPs.

AvB 24: Mama Said There'd Be Abes Like This

The puns get worse while the competition gets better.

The Abes won again to extend their season-best winning streak to two, and they did so via some unusual performances. Remember how incredulous you were in 1995 when Ken Caminiti won the Gold Glove in spite of committing more errors than anyone not named Jose Offerman? Well get a load of the following Abes, each of whom put up numbers that, while sucky, if removed from the stats would have resulted in a Babes victory:

• Edwin Jackson - gave up 7 ERs in 10 IP (6.30 ERA), but without his W the Abes would have lost
• Kelly Johnson - hit 0.188 with 0 HR and 0 RBI's, but his 5 runs scored made the difference
• Dan Johnson - hit 0.133 with 1 RBI. But his RBI came on a critical HR
• And finally, Russ Adams. Despite hitting 0.227, Adams wins Player of the Week because two of his stats swung the balance in the Abes' favor: his 1 HR and his 1 SB (he also had an incongruous 9 RBI's, although this didn't make a difference in the final score).

Thanks to these anomalies, the Abes reach their 5 win goal for the season a week early.

Week 24 Scoreboard:

Unnormalized: The Abes The Babes Avg 0.154 0.291 Runs 20 24 HRs 3 5 RBIs 13 24 SBs 1 2 ERA 4.08 6.85 Wins 2 2 Saves 4 0 Ks 18 44 Total 2 6

Normalized by AB/IP: The Abes The Babes Avg 0.154 0.291 Runs 32 24 HRs 5 5 RBIs 21 24 SBs 2 2 ERA 4.08 6.85 Wins 3 2 Saves 6 0 Ks 27 44 Total 4 3

The Babes lead the Abes 17-5-2

Abes vs Babes 23: Lean on Me

Talk about a one man team: last week, Jack Wilson put up staggering stats (0.615 avg, 1.077 slg, and 2 HRs), but still couldn't pull the woeful Abes to victory. This week, Wilson's offense didn't change much (0.500 avg, 1.056 slg, and 3 HRs). But this time he was able to make up for guys like Kelly Johnson (3-for-20) and Dave Bush (9.00 ERA) and will the Abes to a week 23 victory.

Needless to say, Wilson wins the player-of-the-week award. Although the Abes are still getting pounded overall (note of motivation to Brad Penny: beat the Rockies this Wednesday and you'll match the Babes' 17-4 record), if they win one of the last two weeks, they'll actually hit their once-seemingly-unattainable goal of five victories for the season.

Week 23 Scoreboard:

Unnormalized: The Abes The Babes Avg 0.341 0.279 Runs 23 25 HRs 8 5 RBIs 24 29 SBs 0 4 ERA 3.86 3.18 Wins 0 3 Saves 1 0 Ks 19 53 Total 3 6

Normalized by AB/IP: The Abes The Babes Avg 0.341 0.279 Runs 37 25 HRs 13 5 RBIs 38 29 SBs 0 4 ERA 3.86 3.18 Wins 0 2 Saves 2 0 Ks 34 53 Total 5 4

The Babes lead the Abes 17-4-2

AvB 22: Abes Aren't Worth Jack

This week's best individual performance perhaps outshone all previous Player of the Week winners: a .615 average (1.077 slugging), 2 HR, 11 RBI's, 8 runs, and even a stolen base. Unfortunately, that performance was turned in by Jack Wilson, who toils for the hapless Abes. And in the end, Wilson's teammates sucked more than he was good, and the Abes lost once again to the Babes. This must be what Kobe Bryant feels like.

So which Abes-mate might we catch Wilson ripping in a home-made video shot outside an Orange County strip mall? My money's on Dave Bush, who allowed 8 ERs in 1 IP (for a 72.00 ERA). Or how about Dan Johnson, who batted 0.167 with no RBI's despite having as many ABs as Wilson? And yes, Edwin Jackson and the 7 ER he allowed in his last start are another possibility.

Despite his teammates' struggles, Wilson wins the Player of the Week award. As for his team - well, the Abes notch their 17th loss of the season, which puts them 1 loss ahead of Jose Contreras and Kip Wells. If the Abes take one of the remaining three weeks, they should consider it a moral victory.

Week 22 Scoreboard:

Unnormalized: The Abes The Babes Avg 0.302 0.288 Runs 19 30 HRs 4 7 RBIs 18 36 SBs 1 5 ERA 10.31 5.40 Wins 0 2 Saves 1 0 Ks 13 26 Total 2 7

Normalized by AB/IP: The Abes The Babes Avg 0.302 0.288 Runs 31 30 HRs 7 7 RBIs 30 36 SBs 2 5 ERA 10.31 5.40 Wins 0 2 Saves 2 0 Ks 25 26 Total 3 5

The Babes lead the Abes 17-3-2

AvB 20: Nobody Beats the Abes 11 Times in a Row

Yesterday you may have heard that David Wells legged out a bunt single, Jonathan Broxton got a hold, and Angelina Jolie announced she was leaving Brad Pitt to pursue me. While each of these events may have been somewhat unexpected, I think we can agree they're not so far fetched that they fall outside the realm of possibility. On the other hand, after totalling up this week's Abes vs Babes scores, it turns out, after 10 consecutive losses, the Abes edged the Babes, 5 - 4.

I was tempted to come full circle and give the Player of the Week Award to Edwin Jackson for his solid performance(W, 1ER in 6IP), but in the end it had to go to Jackson's teammate Josh Wilson for his 2 steals - only the 2nd time the Abes have won the steals category - and the Giants' (cringe) Brian Wilson, who had a 0.00 ERA and 2 saves. These two performances tilted the scores in the Abes favor:

Week 20 Scoreboard:

Unnormalized: The Abes The Babes Avg 0.247 0.278 Runs 21 28 HRs 4 3 RBIs 13 19 SBs 2 1 ERA 3.54 8.05 Wins 2 1 Saves 4 1 Ks 22 30 Total 5 4

Normalized by AB/IP: The Abes The Babes Avg 0.247 0.278 Runs 23 28 HRs 4 3 RBIs 14 19 SBs 2 1 ERA 3.54 8.05 Wins 3 1 Saves 5 1 Ks 30 30 Total 5 3

The Babes lead the Abes 15-3-2

Yes, it really happened: the Abes beat the Babes straight-up. And in other news, the Red Sox announce they're picking up Brett Tomko to shore up their rotation.

Abes vs Babes 19: Anything Can Happen

As the saying goes, it's worse to be unlucky than suck. Unfortunately, the Abes are both. They suck thanks to guys like Kelly Johnson (0.143 with 1 RBI for the week) and Joe Kennedy (6 ER in 0.1 IP for a 162.00 ERA - that's no typo). And they're unlucky because such performances came in a week when the Babes had a mediocre offense, no wins, and a 7.30 ERA. In other words, a very winnable week. But in the end, shockingly, the Abes lost again. The only surprise was that Carl Crawford didn't win the Player of the Week award - the honor goes to Freddy Sanchez (0.294, 8 runs, 6 RBI).

But anything can happen. And despite recent (well, year-long) trends and convention wisdom, the Abes will win a week before the end of the season. That's a guarantee.

Week 19 Scoreboard:

Unnormalized: The Abes The Babes Avg 0.229 0.268 Runs 14 27 HRs 1 4 RBIs 6 23 SBs 0 4 ERA 5.31 7.30 Wins 0 0 Saves 2 0 Ks 13 26 Total 2 6

Normalized by AB/IP: The Abes The Babes Avg 0.229 0.268 Runs 24 17 HRs 2 4 RBIs 10 23 SBs 0 4 ERA 5.31 7.30 Wins 0 0 Saves 2 0 Ks 16 26 Total 2 6

The Babes lead the Abes 15-2-2

Abes vs Babes 18: Evan Can Wait

While the Devil Rays might need the hot bat of their top triple-A prospect Evan Longoria, (0.306, 23HR, 84RBI in 113 games), the Babes are doing just fine without him. They beat the Abes for the eighth consecutive time, once again riding the bat and legs of Carl Crawford. Crawford followed his 0.591 average from last week by batting 0.469 this week. So he's clearly on the decline. By the way, I never thought I'd say this, but trolling the internet for photos of Cindy Crawford is growing old.

On a side note, because of our obsession (well okay, my obsession) with Edwin Jackson, as well as my one-off mockery of his statistical alter-ego (and fellow ex-Dodger) Jeff Weaver, I must note the continuing eerie-ness of their parallel lives, most recently manifested in their latest starts - on consecutive days, no less:

Date	Pitcher	IP	H	R	ER	BB	K	ERA
8/11	Edwin Jackson (W, 3-11)	9.0	4	0	0	1	8	5.84
8/12	Jeff Weaver (W, 4-10)	9.0	5	0	0	0	8	5.64

New strategy: start mocking current Dodger pitchers. Wait, we've been doing that for about 5 months now, to little avail...

Week 18 Scoreboard:

Unnormalized: The Abes The Babes Avg 0.232 0.310 Runs 19 34 HRs 3 7 RBIs 13 27 SBs 5 4 ERA 1.78 6.57 Wins 1 2 Saves 2 0 Ks 20 21 Total 3 6

Normalized by AB/IP: The Abes The Babes Avg 0.232 0.310 Runs 25 34 HRs 4 7 RBIs 17 27 SBs 6 4 ERA 1.78 6.57 Wins 1 2 Saves 2 0 Ks 16 21 Total 3 6

The Babes lead the Abes 14-2-2

Abes vs Babes 17: Isn't It Ironic?

Not really, but Alanis Morissette probably thinks so. In Week 17, the Abes came up with undoubtedly their best performance yet. They matched or set season-best marks in batting average (0.320), HR's (6), ERA (3.60), and saves (2).

But their timing was worse than a French whore with really bad timing. The Babes chose the same week to come up with their own season highs in average (0.325), HR's (10), Runs (37), and RBI's (30). Carl Crawford was once again the man, hitting a blistering 0.591 with 3HR's, 8 Runs, and 3 SB. For his efforts he collects his 5th Player of the Week award (2 shy of Barry Bonds's 7 MVP's).

Alas, the Abes now fall to 2-13 with 2 ties. But remember - the 2003 Detroit Tigers started 1-13, and three years later were in the World Series. So I guess 2010 will be the Year of the Abes.

Week 17 Results:

Unnormalized: The Abes The Babes Avg 0.320 0.325 Runs 21 37 HRs 6 10 RBIs 22 30 SBs 3 4 ERA 3.60 6.55 Wins 1 4 Saves 2 0 Ks 13 50 Total 2 7

Normalized by AB/IP: The Abes The Babes Avg 0.320 0.325 Runs 26 37 HRs 7 10 RBIs 27 30 SBs 4 4 ERA 3.60 6.55 Wins 3 4 Saves 6 0 Ks 38 50 Total 2 6

The Babes lead the Abes 13-2-2

Abes vs Babes 16: Mötley Crüz

Different week, different rules, same result. The Abes, who have now lost 7 in a row, can take solace in the fact that the 2000 Yankees, 2005 White Sox, and 2006 Cardinals - all World Series Champions - also endured 7 game losing streaks. But a 7 game losing streak embedded in a 162 game season is a lot more tolerable than in a 25 game season.

In anycase, this week's Babes victory was due - literally - to an unlikely and diverse pair of Cruzes. Just-called-up-from-minors outfielder Nelson Cruz slugged 1.286 with 2HR and 5RBI to earn Player of the Week, while little-used middle reliever Juan Cruz picked up a win on only 2.1 IP. Without these two, the Abes actually would have won the week.

Unnormalized: The Abes The Babes Avg 0.262 0.235 Runs 17 17 HRs 5 6 RBIs 23 27 SBs 1 3 ERA 5.40 3.42 Wins 2 5 Saves 0 0 Ks 12 34 Total 1 6

Normalized by AB/IP: The Abes The Babes Avg 0.262 0.235 Runs 15 17 HRs 4 6 RBIs 20 37 SBs 1 3 ERA 5.40 3.42 Wins 6 5 Saves 0 0 Ks 34 34 Total 2 5

The Babes lead the Abes 12-2-2

AvB 15: No Excuses

Coaching greatness has always been defined by the ability to make adjustments. Whether it's Bill Belichick adjusting his QB protection schemes, Mike Krzyzewski adjusting his defensive coverages, or Jim Tracy adjusting his package, the great ones know how to right a lilting ship. And with the Abes' ship lilting big-time, it's time to make an adjustment.

First, Week 15 results (stats include the post ASG half-week):

Week 15 Only:

	The Abes	The Babes
Avg	0.263	0.245
Runs	24	36
HRs	6	7
RBIs	32	16
SBs	0	11
ERA	3.55	3.15
Wins	3	6
Saves	0	0
Ks	29	59
Total	2	6
AB's	236	216
IP's	71.1	33

The Babes Lead the Abes 11-2-2

Another Abes beating at the hands of the Babes and Player of the Week Freddy Sanchez (3HR's and 9 runs scored). But a closer look at the AB and IP stats included above reveals a big reason why. While the Abes have a slight advantage in AB's, the Babes have had more than twice as many IPs than the Abes.

Not to make any excuses for the Abes, but unlike regular fantasy leagues which allow only one player from each position to accumulate stats, in Abes vs Babes all stats from all players are counted. With 7 of the 9 categories being 'counting' stats, the Babes have just had more opportunities to put up stats. So from next week onward, all counting stats will be normalized by the number of AB's or IP's by each team. Hey, nobody said AvB would nail it right out of the gate...

AvB 14: Hot and Hotterer

The Cubs' Ted Lilly was hot: 2 wins, 11K's, and a 1.26 ERA for the week. The Bells were hotter: Rob Bell and Heath Bell combined for 4 wins (in spite of Heath's 7.71 ERA). But the Millers were the hotterest: the Brewers' Damian hit 0.727 with 2 HR's, while pitchers Andrew, Justin, and Trever combined for 2 wins, a 0.73 ERA, and...a save!

If you're an Abes-lover, you might want to turn your head as we reveal the Week 14 scoreboard:

Week 14 Only:

	The Abes	The Babes
Avg	0.228	0.251
Runs	11	19
HRs	3	4
RBIs	18	18
SBs	1	4
ERA	6.97	2.13
Wins	1	10
Saves	0	1
Ks	17	45
Total	0	8

The Babes Lead the Abes 10-2-2

The Abes avoid the perfect 9-0 shutout thanks to a last-minute, Sunday-night RBI by Atlanta's Kelly Johnson. For registering the first save of the season for either team, the otherwise unnoticeable Trever Miller earns the Player of the Year award.

In other news, Edwin Jackson has returned to form, giving up 7 earned runs in 5.1 innings pitched. Sadly, if you remove E-Jax's negative pull on the Abes as well as the positive pull of all the Lillys, Bells, and Millers on the Babes, the Babes still win:

Week 14 Modified:

	The Abes	The Babes
Avg	0.228	0.224
Runs	11	17
HRs	3	2
RBIs	18	10
SBs	1	2
ERA	5.28	2.25
Wins	1	2
Saves	0	0
Ks	12	15
Total	3	5

Ergo, the Abes suck. They have 12 weeks left to score 3 more wins to consummate their Drive for Five. Time is ticking...

Abes vs Babes 13: The Drive For Five

Trivia question: What do the Yankees' Bobby Richardson, the Cowboys' Chuck Howley, the Lakers' Jerry West, and the A's Dan Johnson all have in common? (answer below scoreboard)

Week 13 Only: The Abes The Babes Avg 0.264 0.236 Runs 18 22 HRs 5 5 RBIs 20 21 SBs 3 1 ERA 3.86 2.98 Wins 1 1 Saves 0 0 Ks 24 32 Total 2 4

Cumulative: The Abes The Babes Avg 0.244 0.264 Runs 269 255 HRs 42 47 RBIs 230 249 SBs 20 41 ERA< 4.85 4.17 Wins 14 24 Saves 0 0 Ks 306 403 Total 1 7

The Babes lead the Abes in Weeks Won 9-2-2

Answer: They all won MVP awards while playing for the losing team. Richardson in the 1960 World Series, Howley in Superbowl V, West in the 1969 NBA Finals, and Johnson during Week 13 of Abes vs Babes.

Yes, the Abes lost again. Much like an Oakland Raiders beat writer, I've come to equate Monday mornings with having to think of a new way to describe another beat-down. This week's twist is that in spite of the loss, the Abes' Dan Johnson (0.423, 3HR, 7RBI) far outshined anybody on either team, including the two best-performing Babes - Luke Scott (0.188, 3HR, 5RBI) and Freddy Sanchez (0.370, 0HR, 3RBI). Wow, what a twist.

In reaction to their daunting 9-2-2 deficit, Abes ownership has decided to temper their ambitions and set a goal of 5 Weeks Won for the season. You may think that's a modest goal, but with only 2 victories in the first half of the season, hoping for 3 more wins over the second half is actually quite aggressive (Edwin Jackson joke graciously removed).

AvB 12: Jackson Wins, Abes Lose

On January 14, 2006, the Dodgers traded Edwin Jackson and a man named Tiffany to Tampa Bay for a guy who can't quite spell 'Danny' (Danys Baez) and a guy named after both a Backstreet Boy AND an N'Sync member (Lance Carter).

On June 24, 2007, Jackson got his sweet revenge. He tamed the fearsome Dodger offense and earned his first win in almost 2 years. Damn. All the future headines I had planned (sample: "E-Jax E-Sux") now go in the trash heap next to Billy Ashley's Hall of Fame induction speech.

In spite of Jackson's day of vindication, his Abes still fell mightily to the Babes, failing to win a single category:

Week 12 Only: The Abes The Babes Avg 0.207 0.272 Runs 10 18 HRs 0 3 RBIs 6 18 SBs 1 4 ERA 6.75 4.64 Wins 2 2 Saves 0 0 Ks 21 45 Total 0 7

Cumulative: The Abes The Babes Avg 0.242 0.266 Runs 251 233 HRs 37 42 RBIs 210 228 SBs 17 40 ERA< 4.92 4.30 Wins 13 23 Saves 0 0 Ks 282 371 Total 1 7

The Babes lead the Abes in Weeks Won 8-2-2

The Babes' Carl Crawford (0.500, 5R, 9RBI, 2SB's) wins his 4th Player of the Week award. If he keeps it up, I'm gonna run out of photos of Cindy Crawford.

And by the way, Joe Beimel is apparently the new Jackson. Here's Beimel's line yesterday compared to Jackson's 12 days ago:

Pitcher, Date	IP	H	R	ER
Edwin Jackson, 6/13/07	0.1	5	5	5
Joe Beimel, 6/24/07	0.0	4	5	5

Anyhow, congratulations Edwin for finally getting a W. I bagged on you during the bad times, and I owe you props now. Time to find another crappy ex-Dodger with an 8.00+ ERA to pick on. Watch your back, Jeff Weaver.

AvB 11: Edin Jackson Still Without a W

The alternative title I considered for this week's update was "Anything You Can Suck at I Can Suck at Better". Consider: the Babes had zero home runs; the Abes had a 7.25 ERA; the Abes batted 0.212 and won that category. But in the end, both teams sucked the same amount, and Week 11 ended in another sister-kissing tie.

Not that Edwin Jackson didn't do all he could to help the Abes lose. While some may think I pick on Jackson too much (read here), I think he again warrants our special attention given his start last Wed vs the Padres:

Pitcher	IP	H	R	ER	HR
Edwin Jackson (L, 0-8)	0.1	5	5	5	2

Jackson (0-8, 8.20 ERA) - hereforeto be called "Edin Jackson" until he gets a W - has been so consistently crappy that he has not one but two outside chances at immortality:

• Most losses without a win to start a season (13, Anthony Young)
• Worst ERA for a pitcher with 15 or more decisions (8.25, Hideo Nomo)

But the bottom line is that the Babes performed so poorly that the Abes had a rare chance at victory - and blew it. In fact both teams were so bad that this week's Player of the Week award is about as meaningful as being named the most talented Baldwin brother. Nonetheless, the award goes to Ted Lilly (W, 8IP, 1ER, 3Ks).

Here are the Scoreboards (behold the difference Jackson makes):

Week 11 Only: The Abes The Babes Avg 0.212 0.211 Runs 18 16 HRs 3 0 RBIs 18 12 SBs 1 3 ERA 7.25 2.83 Wins 1 2 Saves 0 0 Ks 14 42 Total 4 4

Cumulative: The Abes The Babes Avg 0.245 0.266 Runs 241 215 HRs 37 39 RBIs 204 210 SBs 16 36 ERA (woEJ*) 4.75 (4.10) 4.26 (4.26) Wins 11 21 Saves 0 0 Ks 261 326 Total 1 7 *ERA without Edin Jackson

The Babes lead the Abes in Weeks Won 7-2-2

With 15 weeks left in the regular season, there's still time for the Devil Rays to pull Jackson from the rotation and give the Abes a fighting chance. Because remember - you can't spell "Edwin Jackson" without "No Wins".

AvB Update 10: Plummet of the Abes

A week after a big win, the Abes came crashing back to reality, leaving Abes Nation confused, hurt, and in need of hope. The Abes wasted a relative masterpiece from Edwin Jackson (only 3 ER allowed) and came up with season-worst showings in four of five hitting categories. Their offense was so non-existent that Grady Little has started taking notes.

The Babes, on the other hand, had one of their best offensive weeks on record. Carl Crawford continued his well-rounded stat accumulation (0.353, HR, 10R, 7RBI, 3SB) and becomes the 1st 3-time Player of the Week recipient.

Week 10 and Cumulative scoreboards:

Week 10 Only: The Abes The Babes Avg 0.207 0.315 Runs 16 24 HRs 3 4 RBIs 16 23 SBs 1 5 ERA 4.73 8.68 Wins 3 4 Saves 0 0 Ks 40 29 Total 2 6

Cumulative: The Abes The Babes Avg 0.248 0.271 Runs 223 199 HRs 34 39 RBIs 186 198 SBs 15 33 ERA 4.57 4.44 Wins 10 19 Saves 0 0 Ks 247 284 Total 1 7

The Babes lead the Abes in Weeks Won 7-2-1.
Bad week, Abes. But as one in your ranks once advised, don't stop thinking about tomorrow...

AvB 9: Abes Strike Back

It's easy to see why casual fans often confuse Detroit outfielder Craig Monroe with Hollywood starlet Winona Ryder: they've both been busted for shoplifting, they've both had short-lived success with pirates (Ryder's engagement to Johnny Depp fizzled in 1997; Monroe bats 0.400 vs Pittsburgh - in 2 career games), and neither can hit right-handed pitching worth crap. However, when it comes to AvB Player of the Week hardware, there is no confusion - Craig Monroe: 2, Winona Ryder: 0.

Monroe notched his 2nd award by hitting 0.333 with 3HR's and lifting the Abes to a big win in Week 9. While the Abes still trail the Babes overall, solid weeks by several Abes on both sides of the ball (hitters Monroe, Kelly Johnson, Conor Jackson, and pitchers Randy Johnson, Dave Bush, and Joe Kennedy all had strong weeks. And what about Edwin Jackson, you ask? 6ER in 3.1IP - i.e., still sucks) have given Abes Nation hope for the coming weeks.

Week 9 Only: The Abes The Babes Avg 0.264 0.230 Runs 20 11 HRs 5 3 RBIs 25 20 SBs 0 0 ERA 2.95 4.00 Wins 1 2 Saves 0 0 Ks 33 33 Total 5 1

Cumulative: The Abes The Babes Avg 0.252 0.265 Runs 207 175 HRs 31 35 RBIs 170 175 SBs 14 28 ERA 4.54 3.88 Wins 7 15 Saves 0 0 Ks 207 255 Total 1 7

Overall, the Abes trail the Babes in Weeks Won 6-2-1.

AvB 8: Circus Rained Out; Bush Quick to Respond

Before the 2006 season, when then-Dodger Edwin Jackson took his Circus of Hanging Curveballs (known in Canada as 'Suck du Soleil') to Tampa Bay, he apparently didn't change his m.o.: suck early, and suck often. In the 16 months since, Jackson (0-6, 7.78 ERA) has aggressively established himself as the worst starter on both the Devil Rays and the Abes, and is a big reason why thusfar Abes vs Babes has been All Babes, No Abes.

So when Jackson's Week 8 start was rained out, allowing the Devil Rays to skip his turn in the rotation, it looked to be good news for the Abes. However, two other Abes starters - Milwaukee's Dave Bush and Oakland's Joe Kennedy - quickly stepped up to assume Jackson's role, each giving up 7 ERs in their respective starts.

This all meant another loss in Week 8 for the Abes, a week that nobody seemed to want to win - in fact, neither team notched a win. The Babes' Carl Crawford becomes the first 2-time recipient of the Player of the Week award with a solid but relatively modest week (0.571, 0HR, 4RBI, 1SB).

After a brief whiff of victory in Week 5, it looks like the Abes are back to their losing ways. They trail the Babes in cumulative Stat Categories 7-1 and Weeks Won 5-1-1. For the Abes' sake, let's hope someone named Pujols or Santana enters the '08 presidential race soon.

Here're the Scoreboards:

Week 8 Only: The Abes The Babes Avg 0.263 0.283 Runs 20 17 HRs 2 3 RBIs 11 19 SBs 1 3 ERA 8.62 3.77 Wins 0 0 Saves 0 0 Ks 7 29 Total 1 6

Cumulative: The Abes The Babes Avg 0.251 0.268 Runs 187 164 HRs 26 32 RBIs 145 155 SBs 14 28 ERA 4.80 3.87 Wins 6 13 Saves 0 0 Ks 174 222 Total 1 7

And here are the full details on both the Abes' and Babes' pitchers:

Abes Pitchers:

Player	President	Team	ERA	Wins	Saves	Ks
Randy Johnson	Andrew	ARI	4.54	2	0	47
Tyler Johnson	Andrew	STL	1.08	0	0	11
Jim Johnson	Andrew	BAL	9.00	0	0	1
Joe Kennedy	John F	OAK	3.62	1	0	21
Edwin Jackson	Andrew	TB	7.78	0	0	31
CJ Wilson	Woodrow	TEX	2.16	0	0	17
Dave Bush	George	MIL	6.13	3	0	46
TOTAL			4.80	6	0	174

Babes Pitchers:

Player	Maxim Girl	Team	ERA	Wins	Saves	Ks
Trever Miller	Sienna	HOU	5.65	0	0	16
Wade Miller	Sienna	CHC	10.54	0	0	6
Andrew Miller	Sienna	DET	0.00	1	0	2
Justin Miller	Sienna	FLA	1.93	0	0	6
Jason Miller	Sienna	MIN	0.00	0	0	1
Joe Smith	Kim	NYM	1.25	1	0	25
Matt Smith	Kim	PHI	11.25	0	0	1
Anibal Sanchez	Roselyn	FLA	4.80	2	0	14
Jonathon Sanchez	Roselyn	SF	5.52	1	0	21
Ted Lilly	Avangeline	PHI	3.20	4	0	56
Heath Bell	Katherine	SD	1.20	0	0	34
Byung-Hyun Kim	Yunjin	FLA	7.02	2	0	11
Juan Cruz	Penelope	ARI	2.35	2	0	19
Sean Green	Eva	SEA	2.70	0	0	10
TOTAL			3.87	13	0	222