So, yesterday you Met Smonk. Today, you learn how you can Get Smonk. This is how the lucky reader/Smonk recipient will be determined:
- Comment here as you please
- Whenever this thread goes without a comment for 48 hours, the reader who made the last comment wins! (comments from the Sons don't count)
- For your convenience, a "SoSG Smonkstakes" link to this thread has been placed on the sidebar.
Nothing more to it. Probably the simplest SoSG competition yet. Any questions ask here. I will leave you with more photos of Smonk during his SoSG tattoo surgical procedure:
Let the war of attrition begin!
3622 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 2401 – 2600 of 3622 Newer› Newest»GEORGE: INTERFERENCE! YOU CAN'T COUNT THAT. COME ON, ARE YOU CRAZY?!! THE COIN CAN NOT TOUCH ANYTHING, it affects it.
YODA: And well you should not. For my ally in the Force. And a
powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. It's energy
surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we...(Yoda pinches
Luke's shoulder)...not this crude matter. (a sweeping gesture) You must
feel the Force around you. (gesturing) Here, between you...me...the
tree...the rock...everywhere! Yes, even between this land and that
ship!
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JERRY: You didn't call no interference!
GEORGE: YOU DON'T HAVE TO CALL THAT. THAT'S A RULE!!
JERRY: I don't believe this.
LUKE: (discouraged) You want the impossible.
Quietly Yoda turns toward the X-wing fighter. With his eyes
closed and his head bowed, he raises his arm and points at the
ship.
Soon, the fighter rises above the water and moves forward
as Artoo beeps in terror and scoots away.
The entire X-wing moves majestically, surely, toward the
shore. Yoda stands on a tree root and guides the fighter
carefully down toward the beach.
Luke stares in astonishment as the fighter settles down
onto the shore. He walks toward Yoda.
LUKE: I don't...I don't believe it.
YODA: That is why you fa
a
il.
Luke shakes his head, bewildered.
a
EXTERIOR: SPACE -- IMPERIAL FLEET
The fleet around Vader's Star Destroyer now includes
Needa's Star Destroyer, the Avenger.
INTERIOR: VADER'S STAR DESTROYER -- BRIDGE
VADER: Apology accepted, Captain Needa.
Clutching desperately at his throat, Captain Needa slumps
down, then falls over on his back, at the feet of Darth Vader.
Two stormtroopers pick up the lifeless body and carry it
quickly away as Admiral Piett and two of his captains hurry up
to the Dark Lord.
PIETT: Lord Vader, our ships have completed their scan of the area and
found nothing. If the Millennium Falcon went into light-speed, it'll
be on the other side of the galaxy by now.
n
VADER: Alert all commands. Calculate every possible destination along
their last know trajectory.
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PIETT: Yes, my lord. We'll find them.
GEORGE: Oh oh oh, all right, fine, Jerry, you win. Take it, just take it!
VADER: Don't fail me again, Admiral.
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Vader exits as the admiral turns to an aide, a little more
uneasy than when he arrived.
JERRY: I don't wanna win it like this! Elaine, what do ya think?
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ELAINE: I'd better not...
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JERRY: ...Well, I'll tell ya what: I'll choose you for it. Straight choose, three takes it, no disputes...that's it, you gotta win three.
a
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PIETT: Alert all commands. Deploy the fleet.
GEORGE: OK [they walk around each other]...OK. I'll choose you...whatta ya want?
EXTERIOR: SPACE -- IMPERIAL FLEET
Vader's ship moves away, flanked by its fleet of smaller
ships. the Avenger glides off into space in the opposite
direction. No one on that ship or on Vader's is aware that,
clinging to the side of the Avenger, is the pirateship, the
Millennium Falcon.
JERRY: Odds
a
INTERIOR: MILLENNIUM FALCON -- COCKPIT
THREEPIO: Captain Solo, this time you have gone too far. (Chewie
growls) No, I will not be quiet, Chewbacca. Why doesn't anyone listen
to me?
GEORGE: I want evens.
a
HAN: (to Chewie) The fleet is beginning to break up. Go back and stand
by the manual release for the landing claw.
Watch out were the huskies go
Don't you eat that yellow snow
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ACT II
SCENE TEN
STICK IT OUT
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JERRY: Good.
Joe:
Fick mich,
du miserabler hurensohn
(du miserabler hurensohn)
Fick mich,
du miserabler hurensohn
Streck ihn aus
a
GEORGE: You got odds.
Streck aus
deinen' heifen gelockten
Streck ihn aus
Streck aus
deinen' heifen gelockten
Streck ihn aus
Streck aus
deinen' heifen gelockten schwanz
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JERRY You got evens.
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GEORGE: Right, ready.
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JERRY: For the apartment. [they take their "choose positions"]
Chewie barks, struggles from his seat, and climbs out of
the cabin.
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Ah-ee-ahee-ahhhhh!
Mach es sehr schnell
Rein und raus
Magisches Schwein
Mach es sehr schnell
Rein und raus
Magisches Schwein
2500
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THREEPIO: I really don't see how thats going to help. Surrender is a
perfectly acceptable alternative in extreme circumstances. The Empire
may be gracious enough...
BOTH: Once, twice, three, shoot!
a
Bis es spritzt,
spritzt,spritzt
Feuer!
Bis es spritzt,
spritzt,spritzt
Feuer!
a
Leia reaches over and shuts off Threepio, mid-sentence.
JERRY: Mine!
Aber beklecker
nicht das Sofa,Sofa!
Aber beklecker
nicht das Sofa,Sofa!
Aber beklecker
nicht das Sofa,Sofa!
aber beklecker
nicht das Sofa,Sofa!
a
HAN: Thank you.
LEIA: What did you have in mind for your next move?
a
Fahr zur Hölle Frank Ihnen günstige Bastard. Sie nie um diese Mannschaft. Ich hoffe, Sie sterben einen sehr qualvollen Tod mit viel Blut und Gore und billig Soundeffekte becauase dass das, was du bist, ein billiges Bastard ist.
Das ist richtig, Biznatch.
HAN: Well, if they follow standard Imperial procedure, they'll dump
their garbage before they go to light-speed, then we just float away.
私は大きな金庫が裁判所にヨチヨチ歩きしなければならない大規模なパンケーキに彼を叩いて、フランクの頭の上に落ちると思います。
LEIA: With the rest of the garbage. Then what?
[Torture Post]
معتوه أن فرانك ليست جيدة بما فيه الكفاية لحديقة سيارتي. أتمنى أن يدخل في فتحة ويجب أن السفر من خلال نظام الصرف الصحي لمعرفة ما في طريقه ، إلا أن ندرك أنه في عرين من لعبة سلاحف النينجا ، الذي قتله عن التعدي على أراضيها.
HAN: Then we've got to find a safe port somewhere around here. Got any
ideas?
Dat baster eerlik verdien 'n groot rat op sy bed wat wil mate met hom te vind.
LEIA: No. Where are we?
Копелето собственик на отбор заслужава да умреш от ужасно мъчителна смърт в ръцете на Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Само костенурки може да доведе до болезнен, ужасяваща смърт достойни за некадърността на Франк.
HAN: The Anoat system.
a
お金は私と私一人です。あなたはすばらしい猿を獲得してはならない、あなたの努力に失敗しなければならない氏のF.、非常に多くする前に失敗していると同じように。私の力に気をつけろ！ Muahahahahahahahahahah！
a
私は、ホイールを発見し、金属と腕力のエッフェル塔を建てた人です。つまり、私は人間のどのような種類です。あなたは小さな脳とただの女だ。脳第三私たちのサイズで。それは科学だ。
``a
HAN: The Anoat system.
LEIA: Anoat system. There's not much there.
To You,
Is it a movement or
is it action
Is contact or just reaction?
And you....revolution
or just resistance?
Is it living or
just existence?
Yeah! You!
It takes a little more persistence
to get up and go the distance
HAN: No. Well, wait. This is interesting. Lando.
Smonk.
He points to a computer mapscreen on the control panel.
Leia slips out of her chair and moves next to the handsome
pilot. Small light points representing several systems flash
by on the computer screen.
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Real is just a matter of perception.
LEIA: Lando system?
[Torture post]
HAN: Lando's not a system, he's a man. Lando Calrissian. He's a card
player, gambler, scoundrel. You'd like him.
a
I just want you both to know that if I win this rag doll, I'm selling it to the highest bidder.
And by both, I mean Greg, too.
Can three people be both?
LEIA: Thanks.
HAN: Bespin. It's pretty far, but I think we can make it.
Take what I say
In a different way
And it's easy to see
that this is all
Confusion
LEIA: (reading from the computer) A mining colony?
Opulence.
I'm augmenting the Smonkstakes.
Suck on this, Mr. F!
I'm just posting randomly!
There's nothing you can do!
Bwahahahahaha!
Fried chicken
Once
pencil
green eggs and ham
Flatulence.
Peanuts.
Cystic fibrosis.
Knofed in the robs!
a
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You're going down, my non-photographed friend.
haha, actual engagement again?
FLAMER
lol
HAN: Yeah, a Tibanna gas mine. Lando conned somebody out of it. We go
back a long way, Lando and me.
All the same
We take our chances
Laughed at by time
Tricked by circumstances
Plus ca change
Plus c'est la meme chose
The more that things change
The more they stay the same
a
LEIA: Can you trust him?
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He's a phony.
[Your Sunday evening torture post brought to you by Honda]
a
a
Taciturn.
wistful
HAN: No. But he has no love for the Empire, I can tell you that.
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[Torture post, part II]
Chewie barks over the intercom. Han quickly changes his
readouts and stretches to look out the cockpit window.
I hate to do this, Mr F, but:
[Torture post part III in 3D]
HAN: (into intercom) Here we go, Chewie. Stand by. Detach!
HAN: (into intercom) Here we go, Chewie. Stand by. Detach!
a
Han leans back in his chair and gives Leia an invisible
smile. She thinks for a moment, shakes her head; a grin creeps
across her face and she gives him a quick kiss.
LEIA: You do have your moments. Not many, but you have them.
2600
Mr F, you just got the Atari number!
I got a conflicting edits screen just now. On a Sunday night. At 12:06AM Pacific. On a months-old thread.
What. is. wrong. with. us?
EXTERIOR: SPACE -- IMPERIAL STAR DESTROYER
As the Avenger Star Destroyer moves slowly into space, the
hatch on its underbelly opens, sending a trail of junk behind
it. Hidden among the refuse, the Falcon tumbles away. In the
next moment, the Avenger roars off into hyperspace. The
Falcon's engines are ignited, and it races off into the
distance. Amidst the slowly drifting junk, Boba Fett's ship
appears and moves after the Falcon.
a
Mars
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EXTERIOR: DAGOBAH -- BOG -- CLEARING -- DAY
In the clearing behind Yoda's house, Luke again stands
upside-down, but his face shows less strain and more
concentration than before. Yoda sits on the ground below the
young warrior. On the other side of the clearing, two
equipment cases slowly rise into the air. Nearby Artoo
watches, humming to himself, when suddenly he, too, rises into
the air. His little legs kick desperately and his head turns
frantically, looking for help.
a
YODA: Concentrate...feel the Force flow. Yes. Good. Calm, yes. Through
the Force, things you will see. Other places. The future...the past.
Old friends long gone.
a
The Force is getting stronger with Mr.F.
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Luke suddenly becomes distressed.
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LUKE: Han! Leia!
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The two packing boxes and Artoo fall to the ground with a
crash, then Luke himself tumbles over.
YODA: (shaking his head) Hmm. Control, control. You must learn control.
LUKE: I saw...I saw a city in the clouds.
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YODA: Mmm. Friends you have there.
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PUNCH
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LUKE: They were in pain.
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YODA: It is the future you see.
z
LUKE: Future? Will they die?
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Yoda closes his eyes and lowers his head.
a
YODA: Difficult to see. Always in motion is the future.
LUKE: I've got to go to them.
a
YODA: Decide you must how to serve them best. If you leave now, help
them you could. But you would destroy all for which they have fought
and suffered.
Luke is stopped cold by Yoda's words. Gloom shrouds him as
he nods his head sadly.
EXTERIOR: BESPIN SYSTEM -- MILLENNIUM FALCON -- DAWN
The powerful pirate starship blasts through space as it
heads toward the soft pink planet of Bespin.
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EXTERIOR: BESPIN SURFACE -- MILLENNIUM FALCON
It is down on the gaseous planet. Huge billowing clouds
form a canyon as the ship banks around them, heading toward
the system's Cloud City.
Suddenly, two twin-pod cloud cars appear and move toward
the Falcon. The cloud cars draw up alongside the starship.
a
INTERIOR: MILLENNIUM FALCON -- COCKPIT
One of the cloud cars opens fire on the Falcon, its flak
rocking the ship. Chewie barks his concern.
a
HAN: (into transmitter) No, I don't have a landing permit. I'm trying
to reach Lando Calrissian.
a
More flak bursts outside the cockpit window and rattles the
ship's interior. Leia looks worried.
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