Revision - While looking at this summer's release schedule, I've decided to tip the scales for the Dodgers a little bit. If you read this before, there's some new math at work.After the rousing success of Abes vs. Babes, Spy vs. Spy, and Brown vs. The Board of Education, we at SoSG have decided to link up two of the summer's greatest pastimes - Dodgers Baseball and the Box Office. Our team of SoSG statisticians put together a matrix so complicated, even to describe it would short circuit your soul. (Actually, it's total runs scored by the Dodgers, multiplied by 3.5) Here's a sample from summers past to help you along.
|Weekend||Top movie||Wkend gross ($MM)||Dodgers’ runs scored||Runs x 3.5 multiplier||Wkend winner|
|May 5-7||MI3||$47.7||4,5,10 (19)||$66.5||Dodgers|
|Jun 2-4||Break-Up||$39.2||6,8,4 (18)||$63.0||Dodgers|
|Jun 30-Jul2||Superman Ret||$52.5||6,2,0 (8)||$28.0||Movie|
|Jul 21-23||Pirates 2||$35.2||0,1,1 (2)||$7.0||Movie|
|Aug 18-20||Snakes on a Plane||$13.8||3,14,5 (22)||$77.0||Dodgers|
Sidenote, as I'm writing this, 24 just featured an (offscreen) sex scene that lasted seven minutes of real time. Including post cloitus cigarettes and getting makeup back on.
Back to the business at hand. SoSG's own Rain Man-ish Steve Sax wanted to clarify some points about Boffo vs. Bums.
Although the average summer weekend was $49.2 and the average dodgers runs scored was 16.2 (for a multiplier of 56.7), it would SEEM like the Dodgers should win more than average. However movie grosses and Dodger runs are so bipolar that anything can happen, every weekend; and in fact, with a 3x multiplier, the Dodgers would have won 10 of 17 weekends last season--a decently fair fight. This year, the Dodgers have fewer offensive weapons, while the box office is more stacked than a Victoria's Secret catalog, so an adjustment is in order.
With Pirates of the Caribbean 3, Rush Hour 3, Harry Potter, Shrek the Third, Transformers, and Lindsay Lobrow's Georgia Rule coming out, the Dodgers are going to have to work that much harder to stay competitive with Tinseltown. At the end of every weekend, the Dodgers will be compared to the top weekend grosser. Any questions about the rule can be sent to someone.
PREVIEW - This weekend, two box office behemoths will be battling with Blue. A small art house film (Spider-Man 3)and the thrice-postponed timely poker romantic drama Lucky You. At 12:40am, after mistakenly attending the 12:41am screening, the Delino sat through all 140 minutes of Spider-Man. Taking a page from the Batman Returns playbook, SM3 featured more villains than the Bengals and Yankees combined, including a less hammy Green Goblin, an underused Venom, and that guy from Wings. The effects are AMAZING - sand has never looked more menacing or alive. Spider-Man's evil costume is a fun plotline, even if the writers opted not to go with the original "Secret Wars" story from the comics (if you know what that means, make sure to thank your mom for use of her basement). But after the sheer brilliance of SM2, the Spider franchise has gotten a little... ordinary. Still good. Still worth my ten bucks more than once. Yet the complicated effects doesn't necessarily add tension or drama. And the movie veers into the most bizarre twenty minutes you'll ever see in a comic book movie. If you blinked, you'd swear it was some kind of early Ben Stiller Show bit.
Meanwhile, Lucky You's misguided attempts to pass itself off this year as a romance instead of the poker drama it was supposed to be in 2005, along with the fact that DREW BARRYMORE's HEAD NEVER STOPS MOVING, should keep it hovering at Nationals run production levels. The Dodgers will be facing Smoltz, Hudson, and some mediocre not even worth mentioning. Using our patented multiplier, look for the Dodgers to haul in about $35 mill (10 total runs). And the lengthy Spider-Man 3 should top out at a so-so $100 mill. Winner - Spidey.