Stan Kasten: I'd like to return this monkey paw.
Wizened Old Man: Why?
SK: It's done the opposite of everything I've wished!
WOM: Well...didn't you heed my warning about the curse?
SK: Hold on, I'm getting a call. [answers phone, finishes call] Okay, you were saying?
WOM: I'll take the monkey paw back, but you must pay one final terrible price. Your worst pitcher, at Coors Field—
SK: Hold on, I'm getting another call. [answers phone]
WOM: Heh heh heh.