Thursday, August 16, 2012

Game 119 Thread: August 16 @ Pirates, 1p

Both may induce headache, nausea, vomiting, and light sensitivity.
Only one has a screw-top cap.
Joe "Single Barrel" Blanton (0-1, 4.91 ERA) vs. A.J. "Quadruple Distilled" Burnett (14-4, 3.32 ERA)

Do you think A.J. Burnett and Carl Pavano had a gentleman's wager on who could troll the Yankees most before getting released? Is there a clubhouse somewhere? I bet there is, and it's hidden behind a revolving bookcase in Jeff Weaver's basement. Unfortunately, A.J. is not there today, being regaled by Kei Igawa's witty anecdotes. He's here in Pittsburgh, and he's our problem now.

Joe Blanton is still looking to notch that first win for the Dodgers, and while one might expect that his pitching performance would at least be slightly improved now that he's away from Citizen's Bank Park, I'm still glad that the Dodgers' offense has been more potent as of late. If what it takes is a man with a tribble on his chin to get us a 4-game sweep (and a 7-game season sweep), I'll take it!

No winning seasons in the last 20 years,
no pillbox hats in the last 20 years.
Just sayin'.
I'll beg if you want me to beg.

82 comments:

Orel said...

FINALLY TEKULVE

Orel said...

...is the name of the musical I'm planning to write.

Franklin Stubbs said...

I don't know how this Blanton thing is going to shake out, but I could go for some of that Bourbon.

Fred's Brim said...

A well-timed dentist appointment will allow me to catch this at the bar this afternoon!

Keep after it, Blue!

Steve Sax said...

I don't think I've ever seen "well-timed" and "dentist appointment" in the same sentence

Orel said...

Enjoy your Novocaine cocktail!

Alex said...

Identical FB after his Novocaine cocktail...

LETS GO DODGERS!!!

Alex said...

You think Barajas cradles Barmes before games?

Alex said...

-1 for shitty sleeve tattoos

Alex said...

nice play by HanRam but alas the umps are gonna cockblock the whole afternoon

Orel said...

Nice play by AK to get the lead runner!

Orel said...

Is Lyons implying McCutchen is juicing?

Orel said...

"You gotta wonder where that power comes from"

Alex said...

That looked good, blue

Alex said...

Collins and Lyons on mute BTW...

They talking shit?

Orel said...

Blanton not his sharpest. Walks McCutchen to put men on 1st & 2nd, one out.

Orel said...

They could have gone there, but they didn't. Ended up singing McCutchen's praises.

Alex said...

Fuck

Orel said...

So much for the sweep. 3-0 Bucs.

Alex said...

Jones is juicing

Orel said...

Nah, Blanton is pitching.

Franklin Stubbs said...

Bring back the Phife-dog!

Alex said...

Triple Barrel Blanton

Alex said...

(pours)
(drinks)

Orel said...

Careful, Matty!

Orel said...

Kemp gets run from the dugout. Looks like the fix is in!

Orel said...

Mattingly's gone too.

Orel said...

LONEY HOMER!

Orel said...

So today is just going to be a weird day, I guess.

Alex said...

What did Bison say?!

Jason said...

Loney power? I'm so confused.

Dusty Baker's Toothpick said...

My AtBat says Loney homered. Stupid AtBat must be on the fritz

Jason said...

The TV mics were picking up Matt yelling "just watch the game!" over and over right before he was tossed.

Those same mics picked up Matt saying a whole lot more after he got tossed.

Alex said...

I'm behind in the game cause I replayed the shitstorm.

LONEY HR?

Wtf is going on here?

Dusty Baker's Toothpick said...

Who's gonna play CF?

Dusty Baker's Toothpick said...

Did Kemp come back in a Loney costume?

Orel said...

AK leather!

Alex said...

AK came to play

Riverslime represent

Orel said...

Victorino in center, Herrera in left.

Orel said...

1-2-3 in 7 pitches for Blanton!

Dusty Baker's Toothpick said...

@orel thx for roster update

Dusty Baker's Toothpick said...

So I dropped Loney from my fantasy team on Monday (deep nl league) and now he has a 3-game hitting streak, driving in runs and pulling out the whooping stick.

Orel said...

Great hustle, Victorino! Too bad it didn't help.

Orel said...

So we have you to thank, DBT!

Dusty Baker's Toothpick said...

Hey Herrera is back on the team?!?! When did that happen?

Orel said...

When JHJ went on the DL.

Orel said...

Ellis ground-rule double, Herrera but, E-6 scores Ellis! 3-2 Pirates.

Orel said...

E-5

Dusto_Magnifico said...

what was kemp arguing about to get run from the dugout?

Orel said...

Great slide by Herrera prevents the Ethier GIDP.

Orel said...

HANLEY!

Orel said...

Hey, Dusto! Apparently he was chirping about the strike zone from the dugout. Then when he got ejected he came flying out like a bat out of hell.

Dusto_Magnifico said...

Loneys home run swing is so majestic. Why can't he do that more!?

Dusto_Magnifico said...

Thanks for the update.

Steve Sax said...

I come back to my desk to find GameDay telling me Loney HRd.

Come on, you guys, quit fucking around with my computer.

Orel said...

Not only that, but the Dodgers didn't fold after a Garrett Jones three-run HR.

Orel said...

AK SB! WTF?

Orel said...

The vaunted A.J. vs. A.J. matchup!

Orel said...

Tie game. Clint Barmes triple scores Rod Barajas from first. You read that right.

Orel said...

Joe Blanton is our Brad Penny.

Orel said...

Garrett Jones ANOTHER three-run HR. 7-4 Pirates.

Orel said...

"That's just a colossal mistake." —Steve Lyons

Orel said...

Alvarez solo HR. 8-4 Pirates.

You started this mess, Blanton, you clean it up.

Orel said...

Blanton almost went after the home-plate ump. Great.

Dusty Baker's Toothpick said...

Blanton sucks balls!!! Call back Barney Fife ASAP

Steve Sax said...

The Joe Blanton Experiment is not working out.

We need to trade Joe Blanton as the PTBNL, back to the Phillies (as was said earlier today).

We're keeping Shane though

Steve Sax said...

Blanton sucks.

Steve Sax said...

We can still win this if we settle down

Dusty Baker said...

Well just god damn.

Steve Sax said...

8-4 through five

Orel said...

8-5, bases loaded, two out, Herrera up in Kemp's spot....

Orel said...

Nope, make that Rivera. And he's HBP! 8-6 Pirates!

Hideo Nomo said...

Gameday is being confusing as shit.

I mean, more than usual.

MR.F said...

COME ON ANDRE!

MR.F said...

Damnit Andre.

Dusty Baker's Toothpick said...

Dodgers are getting their dicks kicked in the dirt

Orel said...

What happened to Joel Hanrahan?

Hideo Nomo said...

Well...I hope they come out of this game pissed and take it out on ATL, but...

Steve Sax said...

Well, that's not good.

But, we're still in first place.

Fred's Brim said...

that sucked a sweaty blanton

Spank Horst said...

It's all quiet in dis bish.

Orel said...

GTUP!