Hey, kids! It's that time of year again. The baseball season is rounding into its final stage. The Cubs suck. The kids are shopping for new backpacks for school. Americans are dutifully ignoring the campaign for the presidency. And loyal Sons readers are building up a powerful thirst that can only be quenched by the might of a SoSG Fest. We have alerted the authorities and cleared this year's event with the Department of Homeland Security, the Screen Actors Guild, AARP, and NAMBLA. Ambulances and beer distributors will be standing by in case of emergency.
Sons having breakfast the day of SoSG Fest I
'Tis true. We are opening up SoSG Fest 2012 on the afternoon of September 8, 2012, at a secret location in the Los Angeles area. You know the drill - and this should come easy for most of you: Show up at a bar, eat and drink, watch the Dodger game, and snark. Wit preferred, but not required. hateHateHATE is mandatory. We'll provide a healthy dose of food and grog. You may even walk away with a lovely parting gift. Or syphilis.
Sons both old and new remain truly thankful for our loyal readers, and this is but a small way to show our appreciation. But don't trust me (really, don't). Hear from past participants who can attest to what wholly enriching experiences the first two SoSG Fests have been:
"Back when I was just a tadpole in the pond that is Sons of Steve Garvey, I had the opportunity to attend the very first SoSGFest. The experience left such a strong impression on me that I still remembered it quite clearly when I woke up the next morning, hung over on the bathroom floor.
I must admit, I was a bit starstruck to be associating with the Original Flavor Sons, but they're all
SoSG Stubbs Arrives at SoSG Fest II
"Before SoSG Fest II, I thought I had no purpose in life. After going, I became sure of it. That's the beauty of it." -SoSG Nomo
"What's the WiFi password?" - SoSG Dusty
"(cries)" - SoSG Orel
"(cries)" - SoSG Orel
"Where'd my beer go? I just had one right here on the table." - SoSG DeLino
SoSG Alex Cora, SoSG Fest I. Also pictured: some guy in orange pants.
"Ok, bar's closed and it's time to go, you bag of assholes!" - SoSG Sax
We are somewhat limited on space for this event, so we ask that if you are available on September 8, 2012, and interested in attending, please send an email to our main address, and include your SoSG screen name with a brief paragraph on what you think you can contribute to SoSG Fest 2012. First priority will again be given to readers who frequently comment and take part in the SoSG diaspora. That said, booze, cigars, and/or cash bribes will open any door. When the lineup card is set, we'll send emails to invitees with instructions on the event location and time.