Randy Wolf (11-6, 3.22) vs. Ubaldo Jimenez (14-12, 3.52).
Hello, this is Kent Brockman. In sports news, the Dodgers are ending their season with a meaningless series against Colorado, since the Dodgers long ago clinched the division —
one moment, I'm getting a note from our producers —
What? You've got to be kidding. They lost three of four to the Pirates? And got swept by the Padres? What the hell is wrong with these ****ers? No, I won't watch my language. I don't care if we're still on the air —
Manny photo by Jon SooHoo/Dodgers
414 comments:
1 – 200 of 414 Newer› Newest»Furcal SS
Ethier RF
Ramirez LF
Kemp CF
Loney 1B
Blake 3B
Martin C
Hudson 2B
Wolf P
BLAKE?!!
Oh thank heaven.
I'm actually growing a playoff beard now, which also ties in with Blake's return.
Not only is it Blake, it's the entire regular lineup!
Excellent! A Kent Brockman theme, so I can bust his out:
"Now, over the years, a newsman learns a number of things that for
one reason or another, he just cannot report. It doesn't seem to
matter now, so...the following people are gay:
Aaron Cook
Jorge de la Rosa
Jason Hammel
Ubaldo Jiménez
Jason Marquis
Chris Iannetta
Paul Phillips
Yorvit Torrealba
Garrett Atkins
Clint Barmes
Jason Giambi
Todd Helton
Mike McCoy
Omar Quintanilla
Ian Stewart
Troy Tulowitzki
Dexter Fowler
Carlos González
Brad Hawpe
Matt Murton
Seth Smith
Ryan Spilborghs
Eric Young, Jr.
Joe Beimel
Matt Belisle
Rafael Betancourt
Jhoulys Chacín
Matt Daley
Samuel Deduno
Randy Flores
Josh Fogg
José Contreras
Matt Herges
Franklin Morales
Joel Peralta
Juan Rincón
Esmil Rogers
Huston Street
and Jim Tracy."
P.S. That joke works best if you scroll past the list really fast.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: democracy simply doesn't work
Per Dodgertown USA:
"Torre announced Kuroda has a small herniation of his cervical spine. No surgery but will not be on #Dodgers nlds roster"
Per TBLA:
Kuroda out for the NLDS. Repeat, Kuroda out for the NLDS.
I guess that solves the whole Bills or Garland question now, KempKershaw!
Damned bad news for Kuroda. And for us. Was it that Pie Rats game what did it to ya?
Marlins with an early lead on Phiws, 4-2.
Randy Wolf stat for tonight:
If he had gotten a W in all of his no-decision games that the team ended up winning this year, he'd be a 22-game winner.
But wins for a pitcher suck and all that.
Tough year for the Samurai.
Wins as a stat, I mean. Wins themselves are good.
Heh. Nice.
They can take the NL Wild Card,
But they'll never take, OUR DIVISION TITLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CC Sabathia already down 4-0 to Tampa after 1 inning.
@Nic J
We'll consume them with fireballs from our eyes and bolts of lightning from our arses!
@Mr. C, Aye!
Fucking hell. I was ready for some Kuroda magic. Now it's a matter of who goes first, I guess.
Dusty- Somehow Padilla is getting the start Sunday. Sadly, Torre would probably stick with him even if we lose tonight and tomorrow.
kuroda will be sorely missed.
Wolf Pack tonight baby,
Hoooooowwwwwlllllllll
man, we need the cards to lose a game, unless we feel like taking 2-3 from the rox.
@nic
i want the phillies in the first round, im rooting for the cards to win as well as the blue.
playoff beard: engage
Anybody used to listen Frosty, Heidi, and Frank?
They're baaaaaaackkkkkk.
YAY!!!
@NicJ 5:03p: f'ing brilliant.
For the record, the Sons are quite partial to Braveheart...
Cards up 4-0
phils down 4-2
5-2 marlins
Jim Tracy says he is going full steam until they are eliminated.
No brad hawpe tonight, i know he is slumping but i am glad to see that the #1 dodger killer isnt in the lineup today.
now lets just not give them any late inning bases loaded pinch hitting situations.
Is Jim Tracy going full steam? Count on it.
I'm not scared. We're coming after him like Zambrano on a Gatorade jug.
My above comment is made with much more confidence after just now reading the comment that Hawpe is out. Good lord, that guy kills us.
No matter what happens tonight, at least Yank-mes are getting a beatdown from Rays. Upton w/ a cycle. Sabathia misses his 20th win. Phiws losing 7-2 late.
LONGEST. NATIONAL. ANTHEM. EVER.
It's offensive Fox starts its broadcast with the Rockies celebration. Now, they are saying the Rockies could get the division. No way!
NOOOOoooo!!!! Why is MLB.tv showing the Crockies Broadcast? ARRGH!
Fox broadcast just froze. C'mon, there's a clinching game to watch!
Tommy says we're gonna win tonight, and god damn it, I believe him.
Plea to Carlos Gonzalez: don't play particularly well against the Dodgers. Also, the Rockies can't go deep into the postseason, Aguilas need you, do you think Aguilas can win the championship with Plasencia and Rivas in the outfield?.
He listened to me!
sit down, beeeeyotch!
Helton K - that was the same pitch 2 pitches ago, but it was called a ball
Beautiful third strike!
GO US
Torre on Belly2.0:
"I'm not sure he'll be a player this weekend, but I'm pretty confident he'll be ready when we start the postseason," Torre said.
Deuces wild!
Dear goodness, the Brewers just tied the Cards after being down 6-0. Where was this offense in Denver?
MIL coming back on Cards a bit...6-4.
Whoa, Steve, in the time I typed ^ Brews got another 2.
wolf struggling to find the zone.
Please wolf, put him away.
Dusto, my similarly-named brother, speaks the truth.
cmon Randy
@Dusty - I live in the StL market so it's on the tube
Is Wolf nibbling?
freak
ugh... is this the way its going to be tonight?
unreal
why can't we finish things? I just don't get it
I haven't even got to the stadium an I already want to leave.
It's always the former Dodger or the venezuelan...
Steve, I feel for you. I grew up in Arkansas, deep in Cards territory, and it was a painful time for me. I was a speck of Blue in a sick sea of red.
wolf cant locate the curve
Dear Randy:
You are not going to get that called a strike tonight. Please adjust.
Love,
Rick H.
WP in StL... Now 7-6 Brewers
34 pitches!
bases loaded for the Rockies, 34 pitches for Master Randy so far
it's official the sky IS falling! AHHHHHHHHHH
Rancho ardiendo the hard way, indeed.
Nice! Ok guys, 2 runs is managable.
everything looks outside and high from wolf.
finally
Nightmare of a first inning.
I'm going to need to be outside and high in a while.
I really don't want tomorrow night, my last regular season game of the year, to be meaningful. Please, guys!
a Dre sighting! let's get him home!
those looked low to me
Manny's AB as bad as it looked on Gameday?
Orel, the first and last strike were pretty low. If Jimenez is going to get that call all game, we're in for a long night
@Orel awful
@Dusty - actually, it's not bad being in NW Arkansas... we get Royals, Cards, Rangers and Astros, plus no blackouts on MLBN or ESPN. So, we got a lot of baseball on TV w/o paying for extra innings. It's the time zone difference that sucks.
i just popped open a 750 of Allagash Tripel Reserve with it's 9% ABV. I hope it lasts past the 3rd inning as it's going down easy
this ump hates Randy
Wow that shoulda been strike 3. This ump has been really inconsistent.
Juan Too Tree
The d-line is in the house with sosg regular 'todd,' todd's soon to be honest woman, and the family deshiwlds. Who knew this game would be playoff level. Got here way early due to ticket issues. Love the tommy plaque...it's no tommy in carbonite though. But really.. What is?
jimenez is bringing the gas!
DeBaby De0shields is playing the crowd like a little lasorda. But we had to take away his miller lite dodger bead necklace. For shame
gonna have to grind this one out
@Fred's Brim
with those libations I'll have the medics on speed dial for ya!
where did that miss?
thank you Wicks! i have a bottle of Johnny Walker Black in the bullpen
clean it up, Randy...
wolf should put the slider away.
Brew Crew blows it open. Now 10-6 w/2 on 1 out in 8th. Is anybody's bullpen good?
ok 2 outs now - try to limit them to 2 runs or less
Randy must have porked the ump's daughter or something
She must look like Princess Leia.
take the walk!
Jimenez to Ump: This is not the ball you are looking for.
Wolf: The Force is strong with this one.
great bunt
Furcal is labelled an official power hitter. Ummmm...
that was tall, Leia's father
Your overconfidence is your weakness, Ubaldo.
Getting exciting
And debaby deshields is choking me with my pary beads
Haven't seen three straight Dodgers work the count to three balls in a long time... Like the patience
c'mon E!
Ubaldo: He doesn't like you.
Wolf: Sorry.
Ubaldo: I don't like you either.
On my feet
Rancho Ardiendo!!!!!! this was a great at bat!
Go Manny!
Mild excitement. Baby pointed finger like babe ruth
@ Steve D-
Oh wow...didn't know you were in NWA. I grew up (depending on your definition of "grew up," may want to check with Mrs. Dusty for more insight) in Conway in north central AR.
What I thought was bad about it was that I hated Cards since day one, especially their sacrosanct fans.
So not cut on AR! Go Hogs!
I like it.
I like dingers more, but I like it.
Ubaldo pitching around Dre...
MLB Network goes live w/Vin. Excellent.
"Baby pointed finger like babe ruth"
Nice!
I have a bad feeling about this.
Free runs!
I'll take that
Haven't we scored our, like, last 5 runs on WPs?
Like Brad Hawpe's mamma, I'll take it any way I can get.
Takes the force out away, too.
cmon Manny - we need you!
Oh Manny. :(
Manny just has absolutely no idea what he's doing at the plate. There was an extremely hittable slider that he watched, then the rest just made him "look like a bitch," to paraphrase Samuel L. Jackson.
ARGAHGLJHAFLJF
why, Matty, why?!
WE SCORE
YouBaldo at 62 pitches
THEN KK
Pretty damn lucky to get one run.
Another tommy montage. Set to fatboy slim. Ironic song choice?
That's as close to an utter fail as an inning can be without being a fail.
Still, runs are good.
MIL up 12-6. Hilarious!
I said words that could make a sailor blush. I'm THAT angry
Wolf sucks tonight.
Ack.
That is ironic, Delino. tell us if they do another set to, say, Karen Carpenter.
We can't win and they can't lose. A deadly combination.
DOA!
Dre!!
OUT! what a great throw! Respect Ethier!
Ethier rocks!
Mr customer is always right. That play made up for it though
"Andre Ethier throwing a strike to Russell Martin..."
-Vinny
decent block by Russ too
let's give Martin his credit, his block was great
Maybe our defense will somehow score us some runs.
TGINL!
Thank god it's not Loretta
HOORAY FOR DEFENSE!
Great D by Furcal too!
haha yes! that was lucky
Brilliant defense! go Blue!
Those two defensive plays should be a rallying call for our boys in Blue. Let's get it done, lads!
@ steve dittmore: I am very familiar with nw Arkansas (xna, right?). I've had to call on Walmart many a time...
Another nifty play as the emf blasres. Followed by tommy vs phillie phanatic vs tommy and joan jett video. Oh what a night
this is The Grind, folks! Gotta get this done one way or another and then not care how it gets done.
@delino 8:28: did they animate Tommy dancing on the roof a la Walken?
You can go with this, or you can go with that.
@db
Also,
This
Game
Is
Not
Lost
Home Loney has returned.
take it easy guys, take a pitch or two
Well I WAS about to call home run for Blake but....
I bet Russ goes deep here!
Tigers lost, Rwinkies won. I don't care who wins--and this is after I've read both the SI and Tome mags spotlighting the sad state of Detroit--but I like the fact that it's going down to the wire.
Unlike this game, of course. Can't we just win one???
....or draws a walk. C'mon O-Dog!
I'm calling it for the O-Dog.
Cards lose!!!
If we win tonight, we not only take the division, we clinch homefield through the NLCS.
@delino: they're still playing EMF? That's unbelievable.
OH!
By the way, extra points for anyone who can name EMF's only other US-charting hit of note.
Save some WPs for when we have runners on 3rd.
In nerd language, EMF is short for electro-magnetic field.
Debaby deshields just spilled my entire beer onto my lap. Not cool... Yet oddly refreshing
oof that was nasty
Bats still frozen in carbonite.
Man we are just not hitting at all.
We look way better on defense though.
@ Mr. C-
I read your comment and it made me look for some hidden meaning. I can't get off-day puzzle mode out of my head! Did you mean to italicize every 5th word?
Shrinkage for Delino!
OK Randy, help out FJL
I like how the highlights leading into this inning consisted entirely of defensive plays. I guess it's hard to get excited about a WP.
How was that scored as a hit?
@dusty
For once, no hidden meaning layered in, other than handy vertical alignment for the acronym.
yes! lets tie it up this inning
Some kind of fight happening above us in loge. Lap still full of beer. moist. Wolf is a warrior.
Sorry if I'm late to this mathematical party, but per TBLA:
"with cardinals and phillies losing tonight, dodgers only need 1 win in 3 gms to be #1 seed in NL. They can only be #1 or #4 (if swept)"
8-pitch inning for Wolf. He and Jimenez were tied w/83 pitches after 4.
Juan Pierre is a power hitter according to the stadium.
Time for some beast mode. Baby's socks and pants a also covered in beer. I am the father of the year
that's it for Randy? why? I don't like this
That was...unexpected.
Delino, that kid is going to turn into McKenzie Phillips.
[I mean in a sharing substances with kids kind of way, not the other way!]
feeling it here.
@Mr. C - Said the actress to the bishop
@mlasf
*ha!*
The key to success is not swinging at 3-0 counts, Andre.
this would be a good time, Manny
OK Manny, imagine it's Dan Haren pitching
Ok Manny, just one hit. Just one hit. That's all. Get a freakin' hit.
(facepalm)
brutal.
sheesh
time to cut down the swing
I've said it before, and I'll say it again. That boy ain't right.
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