Monday, May 05, 2008

Mad Libs With Ozzie Guillen

After watching the episode of The Office two weeks ago, in which Angela and Andy played out an achingly simple Mad Libs, I was excited to see Chicago White Sox coach Ozzie Guillen provide some Mad Libs material of his own.

Let's play along, shall we? First, your turn:

Fill in:
1. noun
2. adjective
3. interjection
4. verb
5. noun (note: can be the same as #1)
6. noun (note: can be the same as #1 and #5)
7. noun
8. noun (note: could be the same as #7, for dramatic effect)
9. adjective
10. adjective
11. noun (note: can be the same as #1, #5, and #6)

Okay! Now, it's Ozzie's turn (numbers added by me):

Guillen observed that Chicago still loved the Cubs, even though they have not won a World Series since 1908, but the White Sox -- winners of the 2005 World Series -- did not receive the same affectionate support.

"We won it a couple years ago, and we're horse[bleep (1)]," Guillen said, according to the Chicago Tribune. "The Cubs haven't won in [100] years, and they're the [bleeping (2)] best. [Bleep (3)] it, we're good. [Bleep (4)] everybody. We're horse[bleep (5)], and we're going to be horse[bleep (6)] the rest of our lives, no matter how many World Series we win.

"We are the [bleep (7)] of Chicago. We're the Chicago [bleep (8)]. We have the worst owner [Jerry Reinsdorf]. The guy's got seven [bleeping (9)] rings, and he's the [bleeping (10)] horse[bleep (11)] owner."

So, how does your completed entry read?

4 comments:

Orel said...

"We won it a couple years ago, and we're horseboobs," Guillen said, according to the Chicago Tribune. "The Cubs haven't won in [100] years, and they're the sweater puppies best. Gazongas it, we're good. Melon everybody. We're horsebreasts, and we're going to be horseknockers the rest of our lives, no matter how many World Series we win.

"We are the tits of Chicago. We're the Chicago cleavage. We have the worst owner [Jerry Reinsdorf]. The guy's got seven ta-ta's rings, and he's the heaving horsebosom owner."

Eric Karros said...

What, suddenly you're too good to use the term 'cans'?

FYI I find the post-strike episodes of The Office kind of strange, like they're written by different people or something.

Steve Sax said...

I agree with you on The Office.

The first one back, the dinner party one, was just like watching a train wreck. As Delino (or perhaps Orel) had pointed out on a separate email, there weren't any funny lines per se, it was just incredibly uncomfortable throughout.

Then all of a sudden, Jan gets the hook and we've got Ryan out on the town in NYC. I understand BJ Novak is a writer on the show but I've found his character's development awful and a stretch, with the highly implausible leap from temp assistant to district manager. He hasn't one anything of substance in his management role, and it's ridiculous to think he would have gotten that job in the first place. And with or without coke, he looked so out of place on the NYC nightclub scene that I have to wonder if he'd ever been out drinking before in his real life.

I haven't seen last week's yet. Hopefully it gets better. I agree with you, the writing is not as sharp by any stretch.

Now, How I Met Your Mother has hit its stride, post-strike. I'm looking forward to the return of Britney.

Eric Karros said...

Yes all three post-strike episodes: Dinner Party, NYC Clubbing, and Rebel Stanley to me were just weird and somewhat disappointing. I don't mind unlikely-in-real-life plot turns like Ryan's ascent or Jan's descent - it's more that something in general is just off. The joke delivery seems more contrived and the writing more forced than before. Can't really express well it but hopefully this week's episode is better.

In general I like HIMYM too, but wasn't keen on the unnecessary plot twist that had NPH sleeping with Robin. I thought Britney was pretty good in her episode.