Something to Make Roger Clemens Smile

Sure, the Rocket's been "launching," "touching down" and (insert ironic double entendre involving aviation here) all over the country. But he ain't got nuttin' on soccer star Ronaldo McDonaldo.

'Crying Game' incident leaves Ronaldo devastated

RIO DE JANEIRO, May 4 (Reuters) - Brazilian striker Ronaldo fears his reputation has been ruined forever after his 'shameful' run-in with transvestites in Rio de Janeiro last week. 'I've done something really stupid in my personal life,' the AC Milan player said in an interview with Globo television on Sunday.

'We are all subject to making mistakes and I made a mistake in looking for this. I did not at any moment know they were tranvestites,' the 31-year-old added in his first public appearance since the incident last Monday. 'I cried a lot afterwards. I was incredibly ashamed.'

Police said Ronaldo, who is recovering from a knee injury, went to a motel in Rio's upmarket Barra da Tijuca district with three call girls only to find out they were transvestites.

For the record, this actually sounds more like The Crying Game meets Spider-Man 3. I can understand Ronaldo's unusual rehab course. As Roger Clemens can attest, nothing cures a twisted knee better than gonorrhea.