Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Post-Game 130 Thread: Monkey Paw Curse Revealed: Baseball Talent Inversely Proportional to Payroll

ROCKIES 8, DODGERS 4

Stan Kasten was at the bazaar the other day and picked up a monkey paw filled with three wishes. But he didn't heed the words of the wizened old man who sold it to him: "This monkey paw will curse you with the opposite of what you wish for!"

Naturally Kasten wished for the Dodgers to spend maximum money and receive maximum baseball performance in return...which explains why they've been outscored in their past three games, 24-6, by two last-place teams.

Kasten also wished that Matt Kemp would remain healthy. Therefore, Kemp left the game in the bottom of the first inning after smashing into the Coors Field outfield wall, then diving for a catch on the very next play. Reports are that Kemp has a right knee contusion, but no signs of a concussion. He also had a precautionary x-ray on his jaw.

For his third wish, Kasten said, "I just want Dodger fans to be happy." Well, guess what? The Giants, down 2-1 to the Astros going into the ninth, scored two runs to win it. Dodgers fall to 3.5 games back.

Always listen to the wizened old man!

9 comments:

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Aw nuts.

Jason said...

*wizens*

Hideo Nomo said...

Shitty game, but awesome PGT.

Ñeeebs said...

Id rather have an awesome game and shitty PGT

DodgersKingsoftheGalaxy said...

*BLEEP* *BLEEP* BLEEP BLEEPITY BLEEP BLEEP

Orel said...

The shitty PGT can be arranged.

Hideo Nomo said...

We just had a shitty PGT last Wednesday.

Dusty Baker said...

I'm sick of this shit.

QuadSevens said...

Watching Kemp hit the wall was pretty scary. However, it was funny to watch Victorino call Kemp a baby just before he got up.