Chris Capuano (11-8, 3.11) vs. Tommy Hanson (12-5, 4.29).
Stubbs' Pillbox Hat Fixation was good for three out of four in Pittsburgh, so why not try it in Atlanta? The second-place Braves are hot, having won three straight and seven of their last ten. The first-place Dodgers are also hot, both on the field (5-2 so far on this ten-game road trip) and under the collar (with three ejections yesterday).
It's time for the bats to stay hot and heads to cool off. The Giants come to town next week, so a head of steam would be splendid right about now. The funk soul brother.
180 comments:
I dunno, it's just not the same. Something about the Pirates makes that chapeau special.
Aw shit, now we're gonna lose.
Can you just lie, Stubbs?
Oh, OK, I guess I can get on board with an alternative.
(cries)
BARVES
I wanted to barve after yesterday's game.
I've rarely been so happy to be otherwise occupied.
It was a weird game. Felt like Game 10 of a ten-game losing streak.
@Orel: that's funny, I edited it back to braves. Sorry about that!
Awesoke, Sax!
Dumpster doesn't have a passport
http://www.nesn.com/2012/08/ryan-dempster-to-miss-start-in-toronto-reportedly-because-he-lost-his-passport.html
Once again, Canada ruins everything.
*barves*
Seems Ethier has been on a real cold streak lately. Or am I just imaginging things?
He hit well in Pittsburgh, but in general, he's been off.
Chipper Jones. Of course.
God damn it, Larry.
Chipper barely even blinked hitting that HR. He's dialed in.
Call him 56.6K, 'cause he's dialed in!
I'm going home. Don't fuck everything up before I get back.
Did we have David Ross? Or am I thinking of Body Ross?
See you on the other side, Stubbsy!
Chipper Jones is such a baller. I just can't hate him.
I hate and respect him.
Accuscore puts Atlanta at 59% tonight.
Shane is hacking!
The Braves' third-base coach is named Snitker.
SNIKT!
Backwards K to Heyward to get out of it in the third!
FUCK! Ethier gunned down at the plate!
Don't screw up, James!
Oh, nevermind.
Loney homer here?
Loney succeeds when you least expect him to, so.... no.
Loney single! Cruz single! Treanor sac! 2nd & 3rd, one out!
If that were the case, Loney would have 40 HR this season.
Shit. Cap gives it a ride but not deep enough to score Loney.
The Atlanta Braves are an awfully professional baseball team.
Dammit, Vicky!
And Victorino goes down swinging at the high heat.
Fuck.
So, we're back to our LOB loving ways?
We didn't fuck everything up, Stubbs!
We love LOB.
It's true. Y'all have been completely neutral.
I blame Sax for Ethier getting thrown out at the plate, though.
Cap is cruising. Let's get him a win.
1-0 ATL through five
Mellis double! This is our chance!
Kemp tags it. Right at the left-fielder.
FINALLY! ETHIER 2-RUN BOMB!
Geico, Hanley!
Dre? Dre!
'DRE!
Cripes, Bourn is fast.
Finally Dre wakens!
Please don't hurt us, Chipper!
Cochito can't be stopped!
Luis Cruz is kind of out of mind, no?
Now, where's my booze?
Treanor sac!
Shanetorino RBI! 3-1 Dodgers!
See ya, Tommy's Burgers!
Somewhere, Dusty just got a case of the vapors.
Shane!
Shane giveth, Shane taketh away. CS at 3rd to end the inning.
Good lord, hasn't the tomahawk chop died of shame yet?
Tommy Hanson still gets credited with a QualityStart™.
KKKKKKKK
That and a kick in the ass will get him a bruised coccyx.
Matt Kemp is not in charge of this game.
Two more innings to go.
Janish leadoff single.
Johnso single. Beli time?
Johnso not related to Jaso.
Paul Janish Poha
BeliTime™.
Beli opens with the purpose pitch!
Out for a run. 3-2 Dodgers.
squeaky bum time.
*clenches*
Take 'im down, Belly!
Heyward RBI. No win for Cap.
balls.
Blood and bloody ashes!
Victorino CS might loom large now.
Chipper's going to kill us here, isn't he?
Sorry Cap, but it was YOUR mess.
I actually miss Scott Elbert.
Okay, tie game. On to the 9th.
Kimbrel? We got this.
C'mon, Hanley! He's only throwing 98!
Hanley backwards K on a 100-mph pitch. So, yeah.
I don't care for the cut of Kimbrel's jib.
Loney makes contact! Don't we get a run for that?
Donnie is so cool.
Kimbrel 3-0 to Cruz. Obviously he fears him.
rightly so.
Treanor vs. Kimbrel.
Everyone fears Cruz.
Particularly Sandra Bullock and Jason Patric.
Okay, we made Kimbrel throw an inning!
GOLD MEDAL STRIKEOUT
That was terrible, Nomo. Keanu oughta be ashamed of yourself.
Freddie Freeloader up.
Wow, Beli still in?
Freddie Ks on three pitches.
Uggla Ks swinging.
WHERE WAS THIS LAST INNING, ASSHOLE?
Beli didn't realize he's allowed to throw warmup pitches in the bullpen.
Jesus H, Ross is 35 already?
SF 1, SD 0, bot 1
Oh, fer fuck's sake, San Diego! Grow a penis, wouldja?
How does he let Ross get away there? One on, two out.
0-2 to Janish.
Beli Ks the side!
No more Kimbrel. Was kind of hoping he would pitch two innings.
Elian Herrera sighting!
E-3! Herrera on!
Great hustle, Elian!
Victorino bunts. Are we really playing for only one run?
Hey, it's Matt Kemp!
CHICKENSHIT BARVES
Alright Matty, let's do this.
Papa still wants a hit.
All right Dre, let's do this.
crap
Ethier is so slow Chipper can drop the ball and still throw him out.
I don't feel great about this game.
Now we get Choate.
Yeah, kind of feels like that window has closed.
Pastornicky!
Doesn't Langer's offer a Pasternicky sandwich?
Donnie taking a beating on the Twitters.
Does Pastornicky wear #19?
Bourn single. The inevitable gets inevitabler.
Hey, it's Brandon League! All is saved!
oh, fuck me.
Somehow Treanor throws it past Hanley and Ellis. Bourn on third. Game...
Just rip the band-aid and get it over with.
Wow, League gets a big K there.
Pick your poison: Heyward or Chipper.
League is angling to be the new Dotel.
Increasingly inevitabler.
Death by Chipper it is.
Uh, nice cut there, Mr. Broadcast Producer.
*unclenches*
Reprieve!
Inevatibility averted!
Venters. We got this!
A whole lotta talking going on at the plate during this AB.
Hanley single!
Rivera in for Loney.
Hanley starts with a single. We can do this! Okay maybe not James.
Rivera to Loney: "I got this GIDP, thank you very much."
But hey, he didn't bunt!
SF 5, SD 0, top 3
Good god, even with the platoon, I'd wager we have worst hitting 1B in the league.
Of course Cruz singles.
Wow. Our 1B's really suck.
A GODDAMN EMBARRASSMENT
Does Kershaw pitch the bottom of this inning?
Back to the bullpen tightrope.
SF 6, SD 0, top 3. I don't think the Pads are going to help us out tonight.
SF 8, SD 0, top 3
We're going to get swept by the Padres, aren't we?
1st & 3rd, 2 out for the Barves. Inevit...
SF ∞, SD 0, top 3
A cursory search informs me that among NL 1B with 250 PA, Rivera is dead last in OPS.
Loney is next to last.
Only Smoak is worse in the whole of baseball.
Donnie just changed the battery. Ajellis & Wright in.
We are about to be put out of our misery.
2nd place, here we come!
I am annoyed.
Time to go do something else.
SEE SECOND COMMENT
So, you're saying I should have just taken one for the team?
I'm saying I think we need to burn a pillbox hat now.
I mean, look at Tekulve pimp the yellow and black, then look at that thing. It's a crime against headwear.
PGTUP
(Pittsburgh Exceptionalist)
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