MTIGWAKI, Northern Ontario — Earlier today Elizabeth Patterson delivered a verbal bitch-slapping to potential paramour Paul, who apparently had misrepresented his availability when Patterson found him shacking up with another woman.
"Even though it didn't work out for us, I want you to know that if you ever need a friend..." Elizabeth started, the ellipsis playing on Paul's expectations of a reconciliation.
But it was not to be. "There are some great people here in Mtigwaki," Elizabeth finished, delivering the coup de grâce and turning her back on Paul, both literally and figuratively.
Although his expression was not visible, Paul was undoubtedly crushed by Elizabeth's rejection. The bitter cold of the Canadian winter only served to reinforce his emotional isolation.
Meanwhile, Elizabeth continued her triumphant march away from Paul's residence, secure in the knowledge that some dude with a helicopter totally digs her.