So, yesterday you Met Smonk. Today, you learn how you can Get Smonk. This is how the lucky reader/Smonk recipient will be determined:
- Comment here as you please
- Whenever this thread goes without a comment for 48 hours, the reader who made the last comment wins! (comments from the Sons don't count)
- For your convenience, a "SoSG Smonkstakes" link to this thread has been placed on the sidebar.
Nothing more to it. Probably the simplest SoSG competition yet. Any questions ask here. I will leave you with more photos of Smonk during his SoSG tattoo surgical procedure:
Let the war of attrition begin!
3622 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 401 – 600 of 3622 Newer› Newest»Grudging respect, as that was a beautiful strike
Sorry, I meant Mr. C.
I needed my glasses, which are now on my face.
Enjoying this game? I expected more out of Bayern.
Mourinho is still annoying.
@rb
Ah, I knew what you meant. No worries.
It has been better in the second half. Still detest inter, but at least it's picking up.
With guys like Milito, Messi, and Tevez, it's a wonder Argentina doesn't do better in international play. They squeaked into the WC.
Big corner here
Bayern's pace really annoys the Inter fans. It annoys me as it produces nothing. Italian clubs will absolutely pack the box on you.
They've got strikers in spades, but I don't think their defense is in the same class
Van Bommel with a bad challenge.
Don't see this happening for Ze Germans
In all fairness, Julio Cesar has had a great game in goal.
They certainly aren't playing like a team with urgency.
The only way I see this thread ever ending is if it crashes blogger
Keeper's barely been challenged, at that
Big free kick. . .into the wall.
Agree about Argentina. When Peru pushes you to the brink, you've got to make some changes. Maradonna? Brilliant player; lousy manager.
Well, there was that playoff thread that got to 1,000 comments. Or was it an extra innings game thread?
I forget.
"brilliant player, lousy manager"
That almost NEVER happens
The final GT last year was 1200ish
Wow, Inter with 2 shots on target; one went in. Bayern shoot themselves in the foot.
That's the one. We're well on the way here.
I really hate Mourinho.
Bayern trying to buy time with bad dives.
Eto'o has been silent tonight, until just now.
Bayern fans left with just their schadenfreude.
Haven't seen that many joyless Germans since the DDR.
Well Bayern, you'll still have Oktoberfest.
At least Berlusconi is more annoyed than I am right now
That was a less than spectacular game. Good goals, but mainly flat play.
And the newest EPL team are a bunch of Tangerines? Say it ain't so.
I'll give respect to the seasiders. They played a he'll of a match.
Funny that. Blackpool is actually the premier seaside resort in England. Must get up to 70 in the summer.
Good on them. It'll be a short stay, but well worth the time.
On to the GT.
GEORGE: [whistles disapproving] Ho ho ho, "Had to"? "Had to come in"?
@Mr Customer 1:16 Mourihno, people and objects associated to the Inter are annoying.
I'm very annoyed they won another title so they rub it in from of us, the fans of the great Rossonero team.
Long Live the AC Milan!
Of course, San Siro is not annoying...
JERRY: Yeah, but...
EXTERIOR: HOTH -- ICE GORGE -- DUSK
The jagged face of a huge ice wall sits gloomily in the dim
twilight of a Hoth day. Luke hangs upside down, ankles frozen
into icy stalactites, his extended arms within a foot of the
snow floor. One side of his face is covered in a dried mask of
frozen blood. He opens his eyes as a chilling moan of the
hideous ice creature echoes off the gorge walls. Luke pulls
himself up, grabs hold of his ankles, and futilely tries to
unfasten the throngs.
GEORGE: "Had to come in" and "maybe we'll get together"? "Had to" and "Maybe"?
Exhausted, he drops back into his hanging position. As he
hangs there, he spies his lightsaber lying near a pile of his
discarded gear, about three feet out of reach.
He focuses on the saber and, as his hand strains toward the
weapon, he squeezes his eyes tight in concentration.
Just as the ice creature looms over Luke, the lightsaber
jumps into Luke's hand.
JERRY: Yeah!
The young warrior instantly ignites his sword, swinging up,
and cuts himself loose from the ice. He flops to the snow in a
heap. The startled creature moves back, his giant yellow eyes
blinking. Luke scrambles to his feet. He swings his lightsaber
and the beast screams in pain.
GEORGE: No...no...no, I hate to tell you this: you're not gonna see this woman.
EXTERIOR: HOTH -- ENTRANCE TO ICE GORGE -- DUSK
Luke staggers out of the gorge into the dark and snowy
twilight. Weak and exhausted, he stumbles down a snow bank.
@karina
The worst I can say about AC is that your owner offends me, but that is true of several teams I hold dear, so I suppose it's OK
#nottomenttionanynamesfrankmccourt
EXTERIOR: HOTH -- OUTSIDE ICE HANGAR -- DUSK
Artoo stands in the falling snow, beeping worriedly.
Threepio moves stiffly over to him.
JERRY: [indignant] What, are you serious...why, why did she call?
Artoo beeps, long and low.
GEORGE: How do I know, maybe, ya know, maybe she wanted to be polite.
THREEPIO: Don't say thing like that! Of course we'll see Master Luke
again. He'll be quite all right, you'll see. (to himself) Stupid
little short-circuit. He'll be quite all right.
JERRY: To be polite? You are insane!
Threepio turns to go back inside the main hangar as Artoo
mournfully keeps his vigil.
GEORGE: All right, all right, I didn't want to tell you this, you wanna know why she called you?
EXTERIOR: HOTH -- SNOW DRIFT -- DUSK
The wind is blowing quite strong now. Luke struggles to
stay upright, but a blast of freezing snow knocks him over. He
struggles to get up, but he can't. The young warrior from
Tatooine drags himself a couple of feet and then collapses.
JERRY: Yes!
INTERIOR: REBEL BASE -- MAIN HANGAR DECK -- ENTRANCE -- NIGHT
Princess Leia stands inside the dark entrance to the Rebel
base, waiting for a sign of the two Rebel heroes. She shivers
in the cold wind as, nearby, Chewie sits with his head in his
hands. In the background, Artoo and Threepio move through the
doors.
A Rebel lieutenant moves to Major Derlin, an officer
keeping watch with the princess.
GEORGE: You're a back-up, you're a second-line, a just-in-case, a B-plan of contingency!
IN BEARD WE TRUST
LIEUTENANT: Sir, all the patrols are in. There's still no contact from
Skywalker or Solo.
JERRY: Oh, I get it, this is about the button.
THREEPIO: Mistress Leia, Artoo says he's been quite unable to pick up
any signals, although he does admit that his own range is far too
weak to abandon all hope.
GEORGE: [The waitress(Claire) passes the table; George stops her and writes something on his note-block] Claire, Claire, you're a woman, right?
Leia nods an acknowledgment, but she is lost in thought.
CLAIRE: What gave it away, George?
DERLIN: Your Highness, there's nothing more we can do tonight. The
shield doors must be closed.
GEORGE: Uhm...I'd like to ask you...ask you to analyze a hypothetical phone call, ya know, from a female point of view.
He turns to the lieutenant.
DERLIN: Close the doors.
JERRY: [to George] Oh, come on now, what are you asking her? Now, how is she gonna know?
LIEUTENANT: Yes, sir.
GEORGE: [to Claire] Now, a woman calls me, all right? She says she has to [makes some gestures to accent "has to"] come to New York on business...
The lieutenant walks away. Chewie lets out a long, mournful
howl, somewhat like a coyote. At the same moment, Artoo begins
a complex series of efficient beeps.
JERRY: Oh you are beautiful! [ironically]
THREEPIO: Artoo says the chances of survival are seven hundred
seventy-five...to one.
GEORGE: and, and maybe [again some gestures] she'll see me when she gets there, does this woman intend to spend time with me?
Leia stands praying to herself as the huge metal doors slam
across the entrance of the ice cave. The loud booms echo
throughout the huge cavern. Chewie lets out another suffering
howl.
CLAIRE: I'd have to say: uuhh, no. [George shows his note-block to Jerry, it says very largely: NO]
THREEPIO: Actually, Artoo has been known to make mistakes...from time
to time. Oh, dear, oh, dear. Don't worry about Master Luke. I'm sure
he'll be all right. He's quite clever, you know...for a human being.
GEORGE: [to Claire] So why did she call?
EXTERIOR: HOTH -- SNOW DRIFT -- DUSK
Luke lies face down in the snow, nearly unconscious. Slowly
he looks up and sees Ben Kenobi, barely visible through the
blowing snow. It is hard to tell if Kenobi is real or a
hallucination.
CLAIRE: To be polite.
BEN: Luke...Luke.
GEORGE: To be polite, I rest my case.
LUKE: (weakly) Ben?
JERRY: Good. Did you have fun? You have no idea, what you're talking about, now, come on, come with me [stands up], I, I gotta go get my stuff out of the dryer anyway.
BEN: You will go to the Dagobah system.
GEORGE: I'm not gonna watch you do laundry.
LUKE: Dagobah system?
JERRY: Oh, come on, be a "come-with-guy".
BEN: There you will learn from Yoda, the Jedi Master who instructed
me.
GEORGE: Come on, I'm tired.
The image of Ben fades, revealing a lone Tauntaun rider
approaching from the windswept horizon.
CLAIRE: [to Jerry] Don't worry, I gave him a little caffeine: he'll perk up.
LUKE: (groaning faintly) Ben...Ben.
GEORGE: [takes off his glasses and rubs his eyes; panics] Right, I knew I felt something...! [Jerry is laughing, Claire walks away with a smile]
Luke drops into unconsciousness.
Han pulls up and leaps off his mount. He hurries to his
snow-covered friend, cradling him in his arms. Han's Tauntaun
lets out a low, pitiful bellow. But Han's concern is with
Luke, and he shakes him urgently.
500
500
DAMMIT
Luke doesn't respond. Han begins frantically rubbing and
slapping Luke's unconscious face. As he starts to lift the
youth, Han hears a rasping sound behind him. He turns, just in
time to see his Tauntaun stagger and then fall over into the
snow.
[Scene: Laundry. Jerry and George are there; George is staring at one of the dryers]
Han carries Luke to the moaning beast. Then, with a final
groan, the Tauntaun expires.
GEORGE: Jerry? I have to tell ya somethin':...this is the dullest moment I've ever experienced. [walks away from the dryer; a man passes George and Jerry]
HAN: Not much time.
JERRY: Well, look at this guy! Look, he's got everything, he's got: detergents, sprays, fabric softeners; this is not his first load.
He pushes Luke's inert form against the belly of the dead
beast.
GEORGE: I need a break, Jerry, ya know, I gotta get out of the city, I feel so cramped...
LUKE: (moaning) Ben...Ben...
JERRY: And you didn't even hear how she sounded.
HAN: Hang on, kid.
GEORGE: What?!
LUKE: Dagobah system...
JERRY: Laura.
Han ignites Luke's saber and cuts the beast from head to
toe. He quickly tosses it's steaming innards into the snow,
then lifts Luke's inert form and stuffs him inside the
carcass.
HAN: (reeling from the odor) Whew...
GEORGE: I can't believe: [falls on his knees] WE ALREADY DISCUSSED THIS!
LUKE: Dagobah...
JERRY: Yeah, but how could you be so sure?
HAN: This may smell bad, kid...
GEORGE: [gets up] 'Cause it's signals, Jerry [starts snapping his fingers], it's signals! Don't you....all right. Did she even ask you, what you were doin' tomorrow night, if you were busy?
LUKE: (moaning) Yoda...
JERRY: No.
HAN: ...but it will keep you warm...til I get the shelter built.
(struggling to get Luke in the carcass) Ooh...I thought they smelled
bad on the outside!
GEORGE: She calls you today and she doesn't make a plan for tomorrow? What is that? It's Saturday night!
The wind has picked up considerably, making it difficult to
move. Han removes a pack from the dead creature's back, taking
out a shelter container. He begins to set up what can only be
a pitiful protection against a bitter Hoth night.
JERRY: Yeah.
EXTERIOR: HOTH -- SNOWDRIFT -- DAWN
Four snub-nosed armored snowspeeders race across the white
landscape.
GEORGE: What is that? It's ridiculous! [Jerry bobs agreeingly] You don't even know, what hotel she's staying at, you can't call her. That's a signal, Jerry, that's a signal! [snaps his fingers again] Signal!
INTERIOR: SNOWSPEEDER COCKPIT
There is only one pilot, Zev, in the enclosed two-man
craft. He concentrates on the scopes which ring his cockpit.
He hears a low beep from one of his monitors.
JERRY: Maybe you're right.
ZEV: (into transmitter) Echo Base...I've got something! Not much, but
it could be a life form.
GEORGE: Maybe I'm right? Of course I'm right.
EXTERIOR: HOTH -- SNOWDRIFT
The small craft banks and makes a slow arc, then races off
in a new direction.
JERRY: This is insane. You know, I don't even know where she's staying! She, she's not gonna call me, this is unbelievable.
INTERIOR: SNOWSPEEDER -- COCKPIT
The pilot switches over to a new transmitter.
GEORGE: [puts an arm around Jerry and whispers] I know, I know. [normal voice] Listen, your stuff has to be done by know, why don't you just see if it's dried?
ZEV: (into transmitter) This is Rouge Two. this is Rouge Two. Captain
Solo, so you copy? Commander Skywalker, do you copy? This is Rouge
Two.
JERRY: No no no, don't interrupt the cycle. The machine is working, it, it knows what it's doing, just let it finish.
There is a sharp crackle of static, then a faint voice.
GEORGE: You're gonna "overdry" it.
HAN: (filtered over Zev's receiver) Good morning. Nice of you guys to
drop by.
JERRY: You, you can't "overdry".
ZEV: (switching transmitters) Echo Base...this is Rouge Two. I found
them. Repeat, I found them.
GEORGE: Why not?
EXTERIOR: HOTH -- SNOWDRIFT -- DAY
The small shelter Han set up is covered with snow on the
windward side. A makeshift antenna rests gingerly on top the
snowdrift. Han spots Zev's snowspeeder approaching in the
distance, and begins waving his arms frantically at the tiny
craft.
JERRY: Same as you can't "overwet". [George looks puzzled] You see, once something is wet, it's wet. Same thing with dead: like once you die you're dead, right? Let's say you drop dead and I shoot you: you're not gonna die again, you're already dead. You can't "overdie", you can't "overdry".
INTERIOR: REBEL BASE -- MEDICAL CENTER
Strange robot surgeons adjust a mass of electronic
equipment. A switch is thrown and a sudden blinding flash
obscures Luke in a bacta tank filled with a thick, gelatinous
slime. He begins to thrash about, raving in delirium.
GEORGE: [looks at the other persons in the laundry and says to them pointing to Jerry] Any questions?
INTERIOR: REBEL BASE -- MEDICAL CENTER -- RECOVERY ROOM
Luke sits up in a recovery-room bed, weak but smiling. His
face shows terrible wounds from the Wampa's attack. Threepio
and Artoo enter the room.
JERRY: How could she not tell me where she was staying? [George stands by the dryer again and secretly opens it: the dryer stops working and George closes the lid]
THREEPIO: Master Luke, sir, it's good to see you fully functional
again.
GEORGE: [points to the dryer] Look at that: they're done! It's a miracle! [Jerry looks surprised]
Artoo beeps his good wishes.
[Scene: Jerry's apartment. Jerry is watching TV]
THREEPIO: Artoo expresses his relief, also.
JERRY: [The phone rings. He picks it up and says:] If you know what happened in the Mets-game, don't say anything, I taped it, hello... Yeah, no, I'm sorry, you have the wrong number...Yeah, no [somebody knocks at the door] Yeah? [to the door, while still at the phone]
Han and Chewie make their entrance. The Wookiee growls a
greeting.
KRAMER: [enters] Are you up?
HAN: How are you feeling, kid? You don't look so bad to me. In fact,
you look strong enough to pull the ears off a Gundark.
JERRY: [To Kramer] Yeah...[in the phone] Yeah, people do move! Have you ever seen the big trucks out on the street? Yeah, no problem [hangs up the phone].
LUKE: Thanks to you.
KRAMER: Boy, the Mets blew it tonight, huh?
HAN: That's two you owe me, junior.
JERRY: [upset] Ooohhhh, what are you doing? Kramer, it's a tape! I taped the game, it's one o'clock in the morning! I avoided human contact all night to watch this.
Han turns as Leia enters the room. He looks at her with a
big, devilish grin.
KRAMER: Hey, I'm sorry, I...ya know, I, I thought you knew...[takes two loaves of bread out of his pockets] You got any meat?
HAN: Well your Worship, looks like you managed to keep me around for a
little while longer.
KRAMER: Hey, I'm sorry, I...ya know, I, I thought you knew...[takes two loaves of bread out of his pockets] You got any meat?
LEIA: (haughtily) I had nothing to do with it. General Rieekan thinks
it's dangerous for any ships to leave the system until we've activated
the energy shield.
JERRY: [a little irritated] Meat? I don't, I don't know, go...hunt! [Kramer walks to the refrigerator and sticks his head in] Well what, what happened in the game anyway?
HAN: That's a good story. I think you just can't bear to let a
gorgeous guy like me out of your sight.
KRAMER: [still with his head in the refrigerator] What happened? Well, they STUNK, that's what happened! [takes some meat from the refrigerator and closes it] Ya know, I almost wound up going to that game.
LEIA: I don't know where you get you delusions, laser brain.
JERRY: [cynical] Yeah you almost went to the game. You haven't been out of the building in ten years!
Chewie is amused; he laughs in his manner. Han, enjoying
himself, regards Chewie good-humoredly.
KRAMER: Yeah. [Jerry sits down on the couch. Kramer sits down next to him and starts turning over the pages of a magazine. Suddenly he spots an article he likes and tears it out. Jerry looks at him with a "what-the-h...-are-you-doing-look" and Kramer asks:] Are you done with this?
HAN: Laugh it up, fuzz ball. But you didn't see us alone in the south
passage.
JERRY: No.
Luke sparks to this; he looks at Leia.
KRAMER: [glues the article back with his own saliva and puts the magazine back on the table] When you're done, let me know.
HAN: She expressed her true feelings for me.
JERRY: Yeah, yeah...you can have it tomorrow.
Leia is flushed, eyes darting between Luke and Han.
KRAMER: I thought I wasn't allowed to be in here this weekend.
LEIA: My...! Why, you stuck up,...half-witted,...scruffy-looking...
nerf-herder!
JERRY: No, it's OK now, that, that girl is not comin' uh, I, I misread the whole thing.
HAN: Who's scruffy-looking? (to Luke) I must have hit her pretty close
to the mark to get her all riled up like that, huh, kid?
KRAMER: You want me to talk to her?
Leia looks vulnerable for a moment, then the mask falls
again, and she focuses on Luke.
JERRY: I don't think so.
LEIA: Why, I guess you don't know everything about women yet?
KRAMER: Oh, I can be very persuasive. Do you know that I was almost... a lawyer. [shows with his fingers how close it was]
With that she leans over and kisses Luke on the lips. Then
she turns on her heel and walks out, leaving everyone in the
room slightly dumbstruck. With some smugness, Luke puts his
hands behind his head and grins.
Suddenly, in the distance, the muffled sound of an alarm is
heard.
JERRY: That close, huh?
ANNOUNCER: (over loudspeaker) Headquarters personnel, report to command
center.
KRAMER: You better believe it. [The phone rings. Jerry picks it up]
600
600
The voice repeats the order and Han, Chewie, Artoo, and
Threepio hurry out of the room, bidding farewell to Luke.
JERRY: Hello...Oh, hi, Laura.
Try all you like, Mr. F. Sooner or later, everyone loses to the 100SS Champ.
HAN: Take it easy.
KRAMER: Give me it...let me talk to her [continues this way].
THREEPIO: Excuse us, please.
JERRY: [gestures Kramer to shut up] No believe me, I'm always up at this hour. How are you?...great...sure...What time does the plane get in?...I got my friend George to take me...[Kramer suddenly notices something in the Mets-game on TV]...
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