Nathan Eovaldi (0-3, 2.35) vs. Barry Zito (5-5, 4.35).
Barry Zito is the bomb.
There was obviously a lot of pressure on this poor troubled soul when Zito signed his seven-year, $126M deal with the Giants back in 2007. And despite his 48-66 record to date, he has come through huge this year for the Giants, catalyzed by a shutout victory in his first start of the 2012 season. In between relaxing meditation sessions by the Golden Gate bridge with only a guitar as his companion, Zito has powered his way to a 5-5 record, blemished but a tad by his last three starts and their accompanying collective 10.60 ERA.
But fear not, true believers. Even when his gargantuan contract expires in 2014 (assuming the Giants pick up his one-year option, of course!), Zito will be just fine setting up shop on a corner of the Tenderloin district, strumming some of his self-penned tunes for tips.
Zito goes up against a Dodger pitcher who has had some flashes of brilliance this year (MLB.com has a video touting his promise). However, Eovaldi not only sports a winless record of his own; he hasn't pitched in a game all season in which the Dodgers won (they are 0-5 in his five starts). The Dodgers come into AT&T Park with a scant three-game lead in the NL West, having lost consecutive series to Oakland and the Angels on the road. The Dodgers have scored only 13 runs in their last six games.
Zito, this one's in the bag, man! What could possibly go wrong?
225 comments:
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from his nap.
@PONealFSWest: "On a bus with a hall of fame announcer, a man who saved the American Flag, a lefty who threw a no-hitter and @SteveLyons12."
Zito and Eovaldi!
A guy who (usually) gives up a bunch of runs vs. a guy who gets no run support!
Irresistible force meets immovable object!
Humidifier and de-humidifier in the same room!
SOMETHING'S GOTTA GIVE!
I don't know about the rest of you, but I have high hopes.
@Nomo, lets just hope its not one of our players hamstrings.
Uribe's hammy, I could part with that.
This is a very Rat Pack-y GT:
"Something's Gotta Give," Sammy Davis Jr.
"High Hopes," Frank Sinatra
Or was that your point, Marla?
@Gnomes 4:29p: "Humidifier and de-humidifier in the same room!"
I just snarfed my water on that one. +1
@Stubbs 4:44p: Uribe's ham sandwich, Uribe won't part with that
Arizona up 1-0 on The Wristbands, B3.
@Sax: My inspiration.
Gordon SS
Herrera LF
Ethier RF
Rivera 1B
Hairston 2B
Ellis C
Uribe 3B
Gwynn CF
Eovaldi P
HUGE G HERE
Youk grounded out to second in his first AB. Psh, we have loads of guys that can do THAT.
@Gnomes 6:26p: Yeah, but Youkilis took four pitches. That's three more than Loney did at any of his ABs yesterday.
Youk grounds to short in his first AB; grounds to second in his second AB.
Meanwhile, Toronto 9, Boston 5 (T7)
CWS: Arizona 1, S Carolina 0 (B6)
Battleship: It's a miss (F4)
Okay, boys and girls, see you on the other side
Far East Movement: Like A (G6)
Gorgeous GT pic.
*blushes*
If Zito starts to miss early it is a good sign.
Nice walk Dee!
Crap in a hat.
Balls.
AZ and South Carolina, tied at 1 in the eighth
If Gordon had stolen second earlier, that GIDP wouldn't have happened
Why is Herrera getting batting tips from FJL?
Dreaaaamy!
Giants station showe some hipster catch a foul ball and let the young kid next to see it before grabbing it back. Classy.
Herrera has come back down to earth, that's for sure.
Le sigh.
They had some guy on the local station up here named Beto from ESPN LA suggest the Dodgers trade Evoldi for a "Front line starter". I almost crashed in my car.
Theriot is the rare ex-Dodger on the Giants. Of course he singles.
(Circus Music)
BLOOPED TO DEATH.
Gwynn should play shallow. He has the speed to run down a deep fly, but he looks like a doof on anything hit in front of him.
Oh, you goddamn morons.
Game over.
1-0 Giants and the seats aren't even warm yet.
We're fucked.
What else is on tonight?
This isnt happening. I must be watching late 2010 reruns.
See y'all tomorrow.
Fuck this noise.
bean Panda!
fuckity fuck fuck
Karina's advocating violence! This is promising.
4-0 Giants, two out in the first.
WELP, SOMETHING GAVE.
Well if the umpire has a strikezone this small all night I doubt Zito is going to hold this lead.
@Orel becoming Giants batting practice brings out the worst of me
This would be the start that Evoldi gives up 7 and the Dodgers give him 6 runs of support.
Gotta get done here Ellis. Uribe on deck.
I think the book is out on AJ. Throw him strikes early.
A walk would be good. But see above.
Barry Zito seems like a nice guy. Always makes his visitors feel at home.
I think I hate Uribe more now than I ever did when he was a giant.
the night when I get Vin on tv
I think I should have stuck with my sabbatical until the ASB, methinks.
All of our bloops are getting caught
MY GOD WE SUCK
This is annoying.
That "how is this team winning" stuff is coming back at us.
Maybe we can have a seance and Mr. C can tell us about the good old days.
aren't you gonna do something about this, Mattingly?
K I will now find entertainment in the national news networks. This game is just too depressing.
There was a player in the dugout I didn't recognize. Kinda looked like Will Ferrell. (He may have been a trainer. Not a Treanor.)
Wow, this is not going well.
EOVALDI SUCK LOOK AT ERA HAR HAR HAR WHY COME JOSH MACCIELLO NOT OWNER?
Whatever happened to 'Maciello?
"Whatever happened to 'Maciello?"
Looking at his Twitter feed, I'd say he had a nervous breakdown.
The ad behind home plate says "grab some meat, meat".
Are they aiming at a certain SF demographic?
Stutterers...
what the goddamn fuck?
Owning fake gold mines must be stressful work.
We've got 6 outs to at least get Zito out before he can win
Jesus Colorado, he's a fan of LeBron AND the Yankees?
What's his favorite football team, the Steelers or the Cowboys?
^Referring to Macciello
Wow. We're getting pwn3d.
Given his age I'd say cowboys.
Steelers are more of a new school frontrunner team.
What a load of shit tonight's game is. Makes our "hot start" seem like a mirage.
Going for 200 comments of misery. Nothing else to play for.
Vin with the rare story interrupted by a commercial.
200 seems like a long-shot at this rate.
Eovaldi handles the hot shot!
200 comments will happen, my friend.
That Vin Scully ashtray story made this game worth it.
After all, this will be a four-hour game.
1-2-3!
Theriot has scored twice? But I hate that guy.
"Eight in a row retired by Eovaldi, but the horse is way down the road." —Vin
Is Dee really the only batter with a hit? I has a sad.
With our bats as punchless as they are, it makes you wonder how much Kemp can help when he returns.
Zito is going for the CG one-hitter.
God Damn!
I bet Ned is furious he didn't sign Melky Cabrera.
Ned does not get mad. He gets veterans.
I wonder what gem @Dodgers will come up with after this game.
Eovaldi is the sacrificial lamb tonight.
Nice, Marla.
For a guy who can't hit, Gordon doesn't throw very well.
The Gameday stand-in does not accurately depict Tubbo's physique.
Fucking Sandoval.
Nice throw by Andre.
I didn't start Sandoval tonight. You're welcome, Spank.
Now it's just BP. 8-0 Giants.
Let's talk about something less painful.
Who will win the Bachelorette?
WHY AM I WATCHING THIS GAME
"We haven't heard the chant 'Beat L.A.' Maybe it's because it's too easy." —Vin
I think it'll be Brian, but Mark is bit of a wild card.
If you ignore the first two innings, Eovaldi has only given up one run!
How do the bachelors fight to win, Marla? Steel-cage match?
"How do the bachelors fight to win...?"
Mainly by not going on the show in the first place.
Ok, I'm out. Is dance moms on? Those crazy bitches have more fight than the dodgers.
I did not know Bill Russell's nickname was "Ropes."
Really? Zito headhunts Gordon because he stole a base down seven?
I'm out.
Barry Zito is one-hitting us.
Wow. Zito plunks Ethier ON THE BACK OF THE HEAD.
I wouldn't mind a melee
Okay, shoulder. Andre still looked pissed!
Warm up your beanball, Jamey!
Can we have the PGT?
"For Nathan Eovaldi, pretty much of a disastrous education tonight." —Vin
WHO ARE WE GOING TO HIT
Too depressed to write a PGT.
Should hit Zito.
Is it impolitic to hit the opposing pitcher?
Nice play by Hairston.
HIT BLANCO
HIT THIS DUDE, WHOEVER HE IS
OKAY, HE FLIED OUT. HIT THIS NEXT GUY
RIGHT IN THE MELK CAN
I'm kind of upset Donnie hasn't ordered retaliation here.
VW is advertising the sound their car doors make?
"Buy a VW. Our cars make noise!"
I picture Marla eating bon-bons and watching "The Bachelorette."
60 more comments!
Weird feature to highlight, thats for sure.
WAIT TIL TOMORROW AND HIT POSEY, JUST BECAUSE.
finally a bloop falls.
Finally, a bloop drops for us! Maybe we can parlay it into nine runs.
Totally forgot Posey wasn't playing tonight.
(sad trombone)
Two in a row! Just in time for Uribe to hit into a triple play!
I'm just lurking over here and enjoying this entertaining game thread.
Carry on.
HIT POSEY WHILE HE'S SITTING IN THE DUGOUT
Yessir, Q7!
Uribe didn't hit into a double play! Extra cookies for him!
Uribe and Loney are practically the same player right now. All swing, no pop.
Although you could fit three Loneys into one Uribe.
Does Zito have any Ks tonight?
but Loney has a glove! and he is a nice guy!
(cries)
I mean, Barry Fucking Zito is beating us. This is beyond the pale.
This is actually the situation where Loney does something productive.
Loney is nice to baseballs because he doesn't hit them very hard.
Wow, Loney didn't swing at the curve in the dirt. Is he okay?
Zito at 108 pitches.
See? Softly lifted to center.
Well, this isn't the series opener I had expected.
I wonder if Vin is thinking, I put off retirement for this?
We get the series opener we deserve.
Apparently we've been pretty bad lately.
FUCK BLOOPS I WANT A HOME RUN.
@Dodgers: "At the end of 6, @Dodgers in an 8-0 hole. Hairston, @AJEllis17 and Uribe due up in the 7th."
Talk about a pointless tweet.
I DON'T WANT BANANAS. I WANT TO WATCH A MOVIE.
BLOOPS ARE ALL YER GETTIN AND YOU'LL LIKE IT YOUNG MAN
But I thought it was all the AL teams fault!!
Are Lopes and Kemp having a rap battle?
K let's hit Panda in the stomach.
The only way this game could be more perfect is if Kemp strained his hamstring sitting in the dugout.
MY '98 OLDSMOBILE
Well he was buzzing them with 70mph breaking pitches.
During games like this one I picture Vin with a bottle of Jack like Bob Uecker in Major League.
Sandoval has a 2.417 OPS tonight.
Vin strikes me more as a white wine kind of guy.
Proper retaliation would be to sign Jamie Moyer to hit a Giant.
I can see why they call Brandon Belt "Baby Giraffe." Because it looks like he screws giraffes.
We could get Moyer to throw one into Sandoval's stomach. Space-time continuum would be destroyed.
Do you think Vin has ever eaten a hamburger?
well, besides at the World's Fair.
Nic just zinged Vin!
WHAT IS THE UMP DOING ON HIS ASS
Nice play by Hairston.
Flannery, you kiss-ass.
AT&T Park is fucking stupid hat central.
"THAT'S how you walk the tightrope, son." —Jamey Wright, to Nathan Eovaldi
It looks like a Disneyland crowd on acid.
"And remember, if ever you're not satisfied with one of our tires, please feel free to go fuck yourself."
I'm having a watermelon Four Loko tonight and it tastes like a white Zinfandel. Makes the game more bearable.
Who the hell is George Kontos?
Dee with the seeing-eye single with his team down 8-0! CLUTCH
Tonight's a drinking game.
Lot of hard hit outs tonight.
Yeah! We knocked Zito out of the game! Take that you sucky Giants
Seriously, Kennedy is gone after Mellis gets back, right?
Nice job, Kennedy, swinging at that ball that was nowhere near the zone
Sit, may as well have Urine bat for everyone from here on out
200?
;-)
what up sons?
been lurking after that Oakland series, was at the big gAy yesterday and now we have this shit storm....
200+ comments! TOLDJA!
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