Sunday, June 10, 2012

Equipment Manager Gets Last Place, Last Word

We get mail:

It has recently come to my attention that I was one of the choices in the January 21, 2011 poll "Who is the best equipment manger in the UFL?" Although I cannot access the poll, the comments seen to indicate that I came in fourth place. Anyone who has followed my career knows that my work with the Colonials was severely underrated. My degree of difficulty was highest, not only because I had to work out of an old hotel closet but also because I was handcuffed by being forced to hire the nephew of the head equipment manager of the league. History has shown that not only did I do the best job, but I had the foresight to get the hell out of the place 6 months before the team folded.

I would also like to address the rumors about me and Rachel Lutzker. Rachel is a lovely girl, but we have the same relationship we had a year and a half ago: we are just friends.

If you or any readers have any questions about me, the Hartford Colonials equipment room, or how much Patrick Dux did NOT deserve to win the poll, feel free to contact me. Next time I'm in LA, I plan on catching a game down in Chavez Ravine.

Ben Ginn, E.M.,C.

There it is for the record, SoSG readers. Don't let it be said we don't give equal time to all our poll choices.


spank said...

Away with the manger.

Fred's Brim said...

Ben Ginn is the man.
Now I know why Rachel can't stay away!