Apparently I'm not the first one to spew vitriol about this horrible radio commercial, which is currently on rotation during Dodger radio
telecasts broadcasts. I'm horrified at this commercial not only because it's amazingly juvenile in concept (as Dan O'Day does a good job pointing out), or that the accents and terminology make clear that it was a radio commercial better suited to the Northeast (they might as well have said the Kingsford charcoal was "wicked hot").
But go listen to it again (streamed at the above link), and take another listen to how horrible it is.
Aside from the criticisms O'Day pointed out, as well as the fact that the two characters refer to each other as "Burger" and "Sausage" (can you imagine a Nike commercial with the dialogue, "Hey there, Athlete? What's going on?"; "Not much, Baseball Player!"), my biggest beef* with this commercial is this:
Hearing the screaming pain of one's grilling meat (now that this inanimate object has been given a voice, rational thought, and emotions), as the fire sears the flesh of the burger--is NOT the way to get me inspired to buy your product. There's plenty of health and kindness-towards-fellow-animals reasons to consider going vegetarian as it is (not that I've personally ever been very compelled by these, but still). The last thing I need is, as I'm considering grilling up some burgers, is a stark reminder of what it's like to be burned at the stake, brought to you by the company that provides the fuel.
There are a lot of commercials that have personified inanimate objects (see: Geico stack of bills), or even introduced talking inanimate objects (see: Chevron cars). But taking these objects to areas of pain or disfigurement is way beyond the line. There is a reason why we don't see those same talking Chevron cars, fueled by the powers of Techron gasoline, crashing and bursting into flames or causing massive injuries in a multi-car pileup. This is also why the SlapChop hasn't done a commercial from the perspective of the vegetables. Or a nailgun commercial doesn't convey the perspective of the two-by-four.
And this just came to me--McDonald's has personified cheeseburgers (Mayor McCheese) and fries (Fry Guy) before, too. And even made full characters out of them. But what they don't show is Mayor McCheese getting his tongue (palate)? smoked on a hot iron grill, or Fry Guy taking a nice bath in a vat of boiling trans-fat infested oil that hasn't been changed since yesterday morning.
To be fair, the Kingsford Matchlight Charcoal isn't the inanimate object that is actually talking here, that is true. But I also don't recall any Raid or Roach Motel commercials showing animated cartoon bugs regurgitating their guts as their intestines melt into a goopy mess and they die a painful death. It happens, I know. But showing that feature of the product in gory detail isn't appropriate.
I don't need auditory reminders that the meat came from animals. Just let me grill my goddamn burgers and hot dogs in peace, okay? Just for that, I'm going propane.
(*Yes, pun intended; sorry, I couldn't resist as I had been cooking that one for days. Dammit, there it goes again! I'm on fire! I'm sizzling!)