NO HITTER!!! (I MEAN, ONE HITTER)

The Blue Jays Brandon Morrow was one out away from immortality. I grabbed my son from his room to watch. And this happened...

One Longoria single later, and the 40th no-hitter of the year became just another one hitter.

Sorry.

Now if I can only get my son chilled out for nap time.

In theory, this was brilliant

Sports Illustrated runs a terrific cover story on how the balance of power in 2010 has shifted to the pitchers. (Cough cough stricter steroid testing cough cough)

But in creating a collage of three of the AL's best, nobody bothered to do that staple of all co-ed high school sleepovers. The Hand Check!

And thus, the year of the crotch grab continues, as reported previously in this article about Sax's favorite Met, Ike Davis.

Empire Strikes Back Night: A Second Opinion

A Delino will be at the game Friday night, with excitement and expectations. Just like I had for Phantom Menace. Until...

But Friday night will not disappoint. As long as they do at least ALL of the following.

1. First pitch - Jek Porkins.

The sympathetically-named full-figured Red Six pilot who was too large to fit into a redshirt, yet suffered the same fate.

Think he's not important enough? Then why does he have his own figure?

Lucas just doesn't give figures to anybody.

2. Tommy Lasorda Carbonite figure for all kids under 12 and man-child, blogger types over 30.

And if that's too complicated, how about some sleeping bags?

Two of my cooler friends just added this to the wedding registry. How could I not get it for them?

3. Between innings, show sections of Mr. Plinkett's 70-minute Phantom Menace review. It's the best thing to come out of the new trilogy - a complete evisceration of Episode 1. Trust A Delino. (Here's ten minutes of it to give you a sample.)

4. Katy Perry in Leia's Return of the Jedi costume.

Just saying.

My Newest Addiction: ESPN's 30 for 30

I'm in the middle of Ice Cube's whoop-ass doc on the LA Raiders of Oakland ("Straight Outta LA"). Even if Al Davis is a touch, well, evil...

... the documentary is great. Buoyant. Fun. And the only safe way to be around Raiders fan. (Not to mention it made me strangely nostalgic for N.W.A.)

ESPN is replaying their 30 for 30 documentaries over the next few weeks, and most are already available on iTunes. Set your DVR to catch some of my faves...

Without Bias and The Guru of Go (former Lakers coach Paul Westhead) - I defy you to watch either of these tales about talent (Len Bias and LMU star Hank Gathers) cut down in the prime of youth and not bawl like it's Pixar's Up.

No Crossover: The Trial of Allen Iverson - Who knew the Answer would ever be classified as a victim. Even this bitter Sixers fan had to look at him with a touch of empathy. PRACTICE?!?!

Small Potatoes: Who Killed the USFL? Who knew that Donald Trump could come off looking bad? Apparently, Gordon Gekko was wrong. Greed isn't always so good, and can kill a fledgling football league no matter how colorful their costumes. Alas, no doc on the XFL (which I actually attended once. ONCE.)

The Band That Wouldn't Die Barry Levninson's best work since Wag the Dog. It's a bittersweet look at the Colts Band, who became musical Ronin once the Colts left Baltimore like thieves in the night. FYI - I was at the first game when the Colts came back to Baltimore. Three straight quarters of booing. And yet, it was still calmer than ANY Eagles or Raiders game.

Truth be told, they've all been great (except the superbly annoying one about Rotisserie Baseball... which only reminded me why I hate myself for doing it). Ricky Williams manages to come off as more insane. Jimmy the Greek as more tragic. And Mrs. Gretzky more hot.

A Helping Hand

Ike Davis - the best Jewish Met since Shawn Green. But unlike LA's former 4-homer mensch, Ike knows how to Step Up 2 the Streets! For the third time this year, the rookie sacrificed his body and soul to make a catch in the dugout. Thankfully, his teammates acted quickly to save his ass... and apparently another body part.

The play started with Ike diving like he was in Swan Lake, but ended up more like the Nutcracker. Boo-yah.

For more of Ike's ballerina moves, check out the clip below (about 50 seconds in)