Thursday, July 29, 2010

Post-Game 102 Thread: Holy Shit, Batman

Argh! So here I am, trapped between a rock and a hard place in the ninth inning of a tie ballgame against the evil Fortunate Friar. He's getting away, roughly about six full steps ahead of me, with the possibility of it increasing to seven full steps. If I can only...reach...my utility belt...

There, I got it. So there are two weapons on my utility belt left unused, primed, and ready for action. One is a potent magnum which can be unreliable at times but still packs a powerful punch. The other is a toy capgun with no useful value whatsoever, an item which I had actually tried to take off my belt altogether, but somehow it has stuck around without rationale for the last four months, continuing to suck wind in a toxic, nuclear-implosion type of way. Which one should I use to try and catch my enemy, who is on the precipice of slipping out of my grasp once and for all?

...I guess I'll choose the unreliable capgun, and just hope for the best. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. ... ... Hmm...it seems that the Fortunate Friar is just...walking off?

PADRES 3, DODGERS 2

24 comments:

Orel said...

Very nice, Sax. You might say the Padres are Robin us blind.

Dusty Baker said...

In the GT, Spanky said "(puts hands in pockets:kicks dirt)." That is exactly how I feel.

Josh S. said...

Wild Card or bust.

(And not one of those bullshit Draw Four wild cards from UNO, either.)

Paul said...

Oh I had to watch this aroud Giants fans. They are licking their chops.

I don't think we can pull off another series win in SF but I might not stop laughing if we did.

GAARP and Sherrill staring in a new summer blockbuster "The Intangibles". Dodger poster comming soon.

Steve Sax said...

Paul, you gotta make that poster and send us a jpg. Love the idea.

I'd also love if Sherrill and GAARP were "The Expendables," and they would be kicked off the frickin' team already. Alas, Torre seems to trot them both out with regularity.

To expected results.

Paul said...

Brainstorming the idea Sax.

I think both in suits, GAARP holding a bat with a hole in it and Ming holding an arm made of cash.

Paul said...

I was drinking my white wine spritzer, and listening to the adult contemporary dedication hour like any night after a Dodgers loss and I heard the soft spoken heavily medicated DJ say the Dodgers dedicated this song to us fans.

Pete Cetera Hard to say I am sorry.....
Everybody needs a little time away
I've heard her say
From each other

Even lovers need a holiday oooh
Far away from each other

Hold me now
It's hard for me to say I'm sorry
I just want you to stay
And after all that you've been through
I will make it up to you
I promise you, baby.

Paul said...

They really do love us!!! All is forgiven. Beat the scarfs!!!

Mr. Customer said...

So, it's come to the Chicago stage of the relationship? Where did we go wrong?

Mr. Customer said...

At least we don't have to hear a rash of shit from Angels fans yet. Any more than normal, that is.

Paul said...

Mr. C.

If we leave them now it will take the very heart of them!

Fred's Brim said...

i've seen it time and time again. Our bats get sick after a long series at home, then we go to SD where they get the grippe, then we go to another, normal park. We may have a hard time hitting tonight but we will get well again by games 2 and 3. I hope our pitching can keep up its good health

Fred's Brim said...

I totally missed the game last night. Why did Battletoad only make it through 4 innings?

Fred's Brim said...

reading about this game has made me verrry krusty this morning

Neeebs said...

@Paul:

Perhaps we can beat SF by a score of 25(or 6) to 4.

Neeebs said...

How many runs have we scored in the past week? Averaging 2 runs I think. It shows that we miss Manny's bat. We're pretty much done. Poder's not the solution.

Neeebs said...

And what brilliant guy chose to manage the pen like a five year old selecting crayons at random?

Or maybe Bellisario just fucked us from the get go.

Mr. LA Sports Fan said...

Rosenthal saying the Dodgers are in talks with Cubs for Lilly AND Ryan Theriot. I don't know why Theriot is an option all of a sudden, he's not much to write home about.

Dusty Baker said...

@MLASF agree re Theriot, unless he's part of a package that would be flipped right around...

On the other hand, he does have a cool name/nickname. That may be all we're left with soon, anyway.

Mr. Customer said...

Well, the sidebar is working again, so at least we have that.

Meaniebreanie said...

No not Chicago. Today is a new day. Let's think positive. : I'm liking the lyrics from this old Chumbawumba song. Excerpts

I get knocked down
But I get up again
You're never going to keep me down
Pissing the night away
Pissing the night away
He drinks a whisky drink
He drinks a vodka drink
He drinks a lager drink
He drinks a cider drink
He sings the songs that remind him
Of the good times
He sings the songs that remind him
Of the better times:
"Don't cry for me
Next door neighbour..."
I get knocked down
But I get up again
You're never going to keep me down
We'll be singing
When we're winning
We'll be singing

Dusty Baker said...

Good point, MB.

I pledge to do all those things today and tonight, though cider may be a bit out of season.

Eric Karros said...

Nice post. At this point I think a 'Sax Baseball Metaphor' label is justified.

Neeebs said...

Lily? Really? Is he better than CK, Bills, Kuroda, or Padilla?

We need bullpen help and a bat.