Wednesday, October 22, 2008

The SoSG 2008 Dodgers Yearbook: Students, Section 1

Russell
Martin

Dear Russell,

You regressed offensively and defensively, but you did set a career high—in games played. As far as we're concerned, you're still the de facto captain of this team—so forget those ridiculous trade rumors and rest up for 2009. Have a bitchin' winter.

James
Loney

Dear James,

Hey, remember Free James Loney? Yeah, that was ages ago. With one swing of the bat you proved yourself the most valuable youngster in the Dodgers' post-season. Your regular-season power numbers could afford to come up, but we expect even more progress from you in 2009. Have a bitchin' winter.

Jeff
Kent

Dear Jeff,

You're graduating from the team! Like a fifth-year senior, your presence around here this year was a bit puzzling, but despite your limited defensive range you managed to sneak in some decent hitting (36 XBH!) for a fellow your age. Have a bitchin' winter.

Blake
DeWitt

Dear Blake,

The scars from your two double plays in NLCS Game 5 are still fresh, but they shouldn't overshadow your taking full advantage of a job that fell into your lap. That Joe Torre views you as a viable third base option speaks volumes about the team's confidence in you. Have a bitchin' winter.

Rafael
Furcal

Dear Rafael,

You're (maybe) graduating from the team! Who knows how things would have turned out had you been healthy the entire season? Thanks for busting your butt in rehab and returning in time for the playoffs. We hear you want to re-matriculate. We'd love to have you back—healthy. Have a bitchin' winter.

Angel
Berroa

Dear Angel,

You're graduating from the team! No one epitomized the word "stopgap" like you; asked to do one thing—plug a defensive hole at shortstop—you did that one thing with gusto. Best of luck to you in the future. Have a bitchin' winter.

Casey
Blake

Dear Casey,

You're (probably) graduating from the team! You were the anti-Manny this year, and you received a commensurate amount of attention. But with some pop in your bat and some glovework at third you were a solid contributor to the Dodgers' success. We hear you want to return to Cleveland. The third-base market is thin, so the choice is yours. Have a bitchin' winter.

Nomar
Garciaparra

Dear Nomar,

You're graduating from the team! If you hadn't been so injury-prone, you could have been Manny before Manny started Mannywood. As it is, you're a fan favorite, a local boy returning home and embracing the fans. If you retire, the Dodgers would be wise to find you a community relations position. Have a bitchin' winter.

Manny
Ramirez

Dear Manny,

You're (deargodIhopenot) graduating from the team! To quote Princess Leia: "You needn't worry about your reward. If money is all that you love, then that's what you'll receive." May the Force Be With You. Have a bitchin' winter.

Matt
Kemp

Dear Matt,

Ah, the Bison. You frustrate us. You electrify us. You inspire us. You represent everything that makes this team both confounding and amazing. And we can't wait to see what you're capable of in 2009. Have a bitchin' winter.

Andre
Ethier

Dear Andre,

Things were looking up at the start of the year, then went downhill fast. But you did what most high school kids do: start a blog and have a baby. And the end of the regular season was magic, even if the playoffs were not. "As for next year, we'll see if I'm here. You never know. I want to see what the off-season holds," you write. You'll be back. And you'll be starting. Have a bitchin' winter.

Juan
Pierre

Dear Juan,

You're (hopefully) graduating from the team! It was a tough year for you, and we supported you as long as you didn't sulk—which was mostly the case. You want a trade to a team where you'll be a starter, and we support that too. Have a bitchin' winter.

Andruw
Jones

Dear Andruw,

You're (hopefully) graduating from the team! The valedictorian-turned-dropout...guess there's something in that Atlanta water that works for you, huh? It was a tough year for you, and we don't see next year being much better. Hope you're more flexible in your trade demands than you were at the plate. Have a bitchin' summer.

Mark
Sweeney

Dear Mark,

You're graduating from the team! By all accounts you're a good character and a clubhouse leader, but once a goat, always a goat. Have a bitchin' winter.


We hardly knew ye: Danny Ardoin, Gary Bennett, A.J. Ellis, Chin-lung Hu, Andy LaRoche, Luis Maza, Pablo Ozuna, Jason Repko, Terry Tiffee, Delwyn Young.

Coming soon: Students, Section 2, and the Faculty!

6 comments:

Mike Scioscia's tragic illness said...

I love you guys.

Have a bitchin' winter.

karina said...

Baseball and Star Wars IV, i just can't get enough!

Seriously, they can't trade any youngsters. Last night, before the game and the rain delay, a couple of people i know, not Dodgers fans exactly, were telling me this group of young players could be one of the most exciting MLB teams next year.

karina said...

Second that, Mike Scioscia's tragic illness.

Marc said...

Great post.

How'd you get that chart like that? I didn't know Blogger enabled users to create charts.

Orel said...

Tables - HTML Basics and Tutorial

Steamed Gravy said...

LOL. Just fun to read, especially after experiencing both an exhilarating & heartbreaking postseason. That yearbook message to Manny with the Leia quote was too funny!