Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Sweeney "Forward Slash" Ball Also Headed To HOF

Hot off the news of Barry Bonds' "asterisk" ball finally becoming donated to the Baseball Hall of Fame, Fred Comstock has announced that he will be donating Mark Sweeney's "forward slash" ball to the Hall of Fame as well.

Inspired by Mark Ecko's branding of an asterisk onto Barry Bonds' record-setting 756 home run ball, Comstock took a ball hit by Mark Sweeney on April 8, 2008, and branded it with a "/", or forward-slash symbol. Comstock obtained the ball after Sweeney weakly grounded on a comebacker, ending the eighth inning; the ball was then tossed to Comstock, in the crowd, by first baseman Conor Jackson after Sweeney was retired.

"I figured it was a pretty important ball to save," said Comstock, "since it would probably be the last time that Sweeney's batting average would be in the .200s." Sure enough, Comstock was right, as April 8, the eighth game of the season, was the last time that Sweeney's average attained the .200 level--and as of tonight he is even below the .100 level.

"I wanted to brand it with a 'forward slash' since that punctuation mark reminded me of Sweeney's desperate, pathetic swing," continued Comstock. "It's been a real treat that Joe Torre has insisted on going to Sweeney in pinch-hitting situations, despite what history and statistics would indicate, so I can continue to watch Sweeney's forward slashes for myself."

Unlike Ecko, Comstock never debated loaning the ball to the HOF, instead opting immediately and definitively for the outright donation. "The ball kind of smells," said Comstock, "and it's old and moldy. Better to get this out of my house now before it continues stinking up the joint."

Wise words, indeed.

9 comments:

berkowit28 said...

"Comstock took a ball hit by Mark Sweeney on April 8, 2008, and branded it with a "\", or forward-slash symbol. "

It's a shame that you've spoiled your whole post by portraying a backward slash rather than a forward slash... (The picture got it right.)

Forward slash: "/"

Eric Karros said...

Very humorous post (it is a joke, right?).

Comstock must be a man of great wealth or great principles for not hawking it on eBay - who knows how much $$ he forwent.

Alex Cora said...

Ouch.

Eric Karros said...

Hey come on berko, do we ever needlessly call out others for innocuous typos or inconsequential mistakes? Wait, don't answer that.

By the way Sax, is there meaning behind Fred Comstock's name? Just wondering...

Steve Sax said...

berk, thanks for the kind words and good catch! The SoSG editor who missed that typo will be fired (but please don't say anything since we're going to wait until after the holiday break to give her the news).

Clearly, she's not a fan of slasher movies.

Steve Sax said...

EK, no meaning behind Comstock's name. I'm not that smart...

berkowit28 said...

Ooh, nice correction. All's right with the world now. And wasn't that clever of Torre to give Sweeney a chance to pop out again last night, rounding his BA to a cool .095? I figure Sweeney's owed at least another 8 at-bats, at which point even if he should actually get a hit his BA would still remain under .100. That should take us nicely past the All-Star break.

Steve Sax said...

berk, the editor we fired, based on the typo we found, did not take the news well. She stormed out with a copy of your IP address and said she's coming for you. Please stay away from dark alleys, as I wouldn't want to lose a SoSG commenter.

cigarcow said...

I'll correct all of you. It's not a "forward slash" - it's just a slash. You're all fired.