Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Unchosen Alternatives to "Torre's Stories"

Those of you outside the Los Angeles area don't get a chance to see the post-game show, "Dodgers Live," which regularly includes the segment "Torre's Stories." Torre's Stories is a pre-taped segment in which he reflects and pontificates about some of the past highlights of his long baseball career.

Cute name for the segment, right? Well, we at SoSG saw a copy of the memo listing some of the alternatives which were rejected in favor of this nightly segment:

Torre's Quarries, a live post-game segment in which Torre tries to defend his rock-headed decision to keep going to Mark Sweeney as a pinch-hitter on a nightly basis, despite Sweeney's microscopic batting average (now .095 and continuing to plummet like a stone). Filled with a lot of stuttering, trite cliches, and slo-mo recaps of Sweeney turning 3-1 pitches into pop-ups to the second baseman.

Torre's Lorries, in which Torre takes the interviewer through his collection of British motor trucks. Also ties in with Fox's unyielding NASCAR promotions and interstitials.

Torre's Gorys, where Torre recaps some of the battle scars he's amassed during his baseball career. Includes videos from some of his operations, and maybe the occasional annual physical. "Using the whole fist there, doc?"

Torre's Floories, more of a home-improvement show done as a joint venture with HGTV. Idea becomes shelved when the housing market follows the trajectory of Mark Sweeney's batting average (see above).

Torii's Stories. No, getting Andruw Jones in center field killed that idea. Aren't we stoked.