Monday, May 09, 2011

Game 36 Thread: May 9 @ Pirates, 4p

Chad Billingsley (2-1, 3.92) vs. Jeff Karstens (2-1, 4.05).

Billingsley is 4-0 lifetime against Pittsburgh and 2-0 at PNC Park. I know, against a team that hasn't had a winning record since 1992, that's like saying I can beat my six-year-old kid on XBox Dance Central (even in "no flashcards" mode--booyah!). But Karstens, a spot starter for Russ Ohlendorf, lasted only four innings in his last start (against the Padres); Andre Ethier may have found his home run swing again (after yesterday's difference-maker at Citi Field); and the Dodgers are due for some good luck. I say, the Bucs stop here.

152 comments:

Jason said...

Carroll - SS
Miles - 2B
Ethier - RF
Kemp - CF
Uribe - 3B
Loney - 1B
Sands - LF
Barajas - C
Billingsley - P

Steve Sax said...

If we bat

Sands
Urine
Carroll
Kemp
Miles
Ethier

in order, it would at least provide a nice mnemonic.

Jason said...

I believe this now makes three starting lineups this season with all 8 position players hitting above the Mendoza line.

*cries*

Steve Sax said...

Or today, in honor of Milton Bradley's DFA, we could bat

M.iles
B.arajas
Billingsley
Uribe
Carroll
Kemp
Loney
Ethier
Sands

Steve Sax said...

@Jason 1:06p: It's like the "No Dodger Left Behind" program

Jason said...

Someone is warming up P&A.

Jason said...

A friend from Pittsburgh is headed to this game and just texted me:

"Dodgers suck!"

I was forced to respond with:

"Yes, yes they do"

This friend also expects the pre-game video montage to be in the style of "300" and entitled ".500".

Steve Sax said...

that would be an awesome video montage...though I don't know whether Sparta is us, or Pittsburgh

Steve Sax said...

@Jason 1:09p: ? what do you mean someone is warming up P&A?

Neeebs said...

@Sax 1:03pm: LOL (Literally)

Jason said...

Your alternate lineups forming mnemonics bear some similarity to a puzzle warm-up.

Steve Sax said...

@Jason 1:48p: Ah yes. We'll have to use that at some point...

Steve Sax said...

Mattingly is only 984 wins behind Mike Scioscia.

Mr. Customer said...

(cries)

Steve Sax said...

@Mr C (and Mr Ed, while I have you), why the long face? If Donny continues playing .500 baseball, he'll be at the 1000 win mark by 2023. No problem.

Alex Cora said...

See that former dodger J-Mac pitched six innings with no runs the other day. Grr....

Mr. Customer said...

Not so much that I think that Donny is necessarily the problem (or the solution, for that matter), but I hate seeing former Dodgers go on to greater success elsewhere.

I hate feeling like a chump (you'd think I'd be used to it, but that's a whole other thing)

Steve Sax said...

Today's Dodger badges:

Barajas double
Uribe triple
Ethier HR

Ethier HR is probably the most likely, esp. since he stroked one yesterday. Uribe triple is probably the least likely, given (a) he can't run, and (b) Urine was 0-for-14 with 7 Ks in the last three-game series against a sucky Mets team.

Barajas double, come to think of it, is pretty unlikely too. As SoSG Alex Cora pointed out to me yesterday as we watched the game, Rodster is either a HR or a K. Nothing in between. And a double is in between, so it won't happen.

Too bad, too, since this is the only one of the three badges I still need.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

DEAR LORD, SOMEONE KILL MILES NOW

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...
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Mr. LA Sports Czar said...
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Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

33 game on-base streak!

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Urine!

Steve Sax said...

somebody tell me what the hell happened on that "reviewed play" w/ fan interference?

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Suck it, Jones. Now you have a double instead of a homer.

(cries)

Steve Sax said...

interestingly, GameDay says "Play reviewed and stands as called: Garret Jones hits a ground-rule double (3) on a fly ball to right field, on fan interference."

Did a Pirates fan just cost them a HR?

Steve Sax said...

And Bills comes right back and gets Walker to fly out. That's awesome.

Bills is showing some gumption this year. It's impressive.

Steve Sax said...

Twins @ Red Sox is the only one of the four early games to not have scoring in the first inning

Steve Sax said...

jerry sands, one pitch out

Steve Sax said...

@Mr LASC 4:28p: don't cry, jones didn't end up scoring!

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Bills showing the lumber.

Mr. Customer said...

Chad kinda lumbers naturally.

Steve Sax said...

bills can double just like you, garrett jones

and, he can pitch, too

Steve Sax said...

1-0 through two innings

Jason said...

Based on crowd shots, I'd guess the parents of each Pirate starter showed up.

Apparently an opponent featuring Aaron Miles hitting second and future Pirate James Loney isn't the draw once was.

Steve Sax said...

aaron miles is an amazing (for him) 2-for-2

Steve Sax said...

@Jason: "Future Pirate James Loney"? Yar be kidding me, matey!

Alex Cora said...

Wow. That sucked.

Steve Sax said...

ah, there's that Aaron Miles I thought I'd see.

Miles doubled off of first when Kemp FLIES out. To center field.

Well done, Miles.

Jason said...

Lyle Overbay is this year's two-years-past-his-career-expiration-date Pirate.

Also, nice grab by future Yankee McCutchen.

Alex Cora said...

Eric Collins interviewing kershaw. Clayton says you know a lot.

Jason said...

Karstens looks like Blake trying hunt.

Jason said...

^ to bunt. And maybe hunt.

Jason said...

Mega Millions jackpot is $18 million. Or roughly half of the Pittsburgh payroll.

Steve Sax said...

well, that's not good.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Blerg.

Jason said...

Someone should point out to Collins that Walker was drafted as a catcher and spent most of his time in the minors playing third base.

Steve Sax said...

@Jason 4:58p: [Camera shot of Robert Nutting, furiously scratching off lottery cards]

Steve Sax said...

Tied at 1 through three innings at PNC Park.

Steve Sax said...

time for Uribe to badge me that triple

Steve Sax said...

shit, Urine flied out before I could even finish typing my witty comment

Steve Sax said...

Loney grounds out in about the same time

Jason said...

The Pirates local broadcast just showed an entire inning filmed by a camera man sitting in a seat through the screen behind homeplate.

Steve Sax said...

I do not have a single Pirates badge.

I'm not saying I want one. I'm just saying, I don't have any.

Jason said...

@Sax 5:02 - We all know a $1 lottery ticket is too rich for Bob Nutting's blood. He saves his nickles for trips to the dog track in Wheeling, West Virginia.

Jason said...

Mega Millions ad replaced by an Iron City beer ad. Iron City is Pittsburghese for Budweiser.

Steve Sax said...

Pirates catcher singles to right field

DOUMIT

MR.F said...

Heh.

Steve Sax said...

Iron City is fine, but when I'm anywhere in Pennsylvania I only have Yuengling

Steve Sax said...

I got a "heh" out of Mr. F!

Steve Sax said...

ah, Chad...now would be a good time to get those last two outs of the inning.

Steve Sax said...

four-pitch walk there to alvarez

(of course, the Dodgers making Karstens pitch only EIGHT pitches last inning doesn't help any (*that's right, I'm looking at you two, Urine and Loney))

Steve Sax said...

does anyone know what that "NF" means on Gameday, beside each pitch's velocity and pitch type?

Jason said...

Is there a real world equivalent to the faint praise that is "a good hitting pitcher?"

Steve Sax said...

geez chadley it's the fucking pitcher. get him!

Jason said...

A Darren Dreifort mention that did not include the phrase "disastrous contract."

Steve Sax said...

that's better

1-1 through four, though Bills is at 68 pitches, Karstens a mere 49

Steve Sax said...

if Rod had stretched that to a double, I'd have a Barajas badge.

Jason said...

@Sax 5:15 - NF stands for Nasty Factor which somehow measures the success other hitters have had against the same pitch on a scale of 1 - 100.

When Battletoad is pitching, it obviously refers to how much sweat is on the ball.

Jason said...

Whew, dodged the bullet that was the Shane Victorino triple badge by not having that game open last inning.

Steve Sax said...

okay, gotta go grill some chicken for dinner. (seriously)

No badges yet today.

Steve Sax said...

@Jason
1) is a high NF good or bad?
2) that's odd, I had the phils/fish window open, but didn't land victorino's badge. hmm.

maybe we should throw at victorino's head.

Jason said...

Jalapeno Hanna!

Jason said...

@Sax - I think higher is better (just like life!).

I've also noticed that badges are not "won" when using tabs anymore. It might have to do with the last Flash update which was supposed to address inter-tab security issues.

Jason said...

If you looked up "beady eyes" in the dictionary, you would find a picture of Ryan Doumit.

MR.F said...

We must take advantage of the Urine walk and Loney single!

Steve Sax said...

Loney gets his first single of the game, and the Pirates are so surprised, they pull their starter

Steve Sax said...

Sands goes down on one pitch.

Nicely done, rook'.

Steve Sax said...

@Mr F: we did not take advantage whatsoever

MR.F said...

=(

Jason said...

I'm glad we get such hard hitting news from Fox Sports West as "Padilla with four career saves!"

Steve Sax said...

Ryan gets another single

DOUMIT

Steve Sax said...

1-1 tie through six

Jason said...

Every time I see Kemp's cleats I think he should be wearing a zoot suit to complete the look.

Josh S. said...

Hrrf.

Jason said...

Denard Span SB badge. I finally break into the second case.

Jason said...

Billingsley batting > Loney batting

MR.F said...

Chad Billingsley, hitting machine!

Jason said...

I guess if Doumit is Beady Eyes, then Bills is Beefy Thighs.

ba-dum-bum

Steve Sax said...

Bills, at .231, is now batting better than Loney, Urine, Sands, and Barajas

Jason said...

Troy from West Virginia, you're up!

Jason said...

@Sax - Don't forget DeJesus, Gibbons, and Mitchell.

Jason said...

That was nearly Loney-esque.

MR.F said...

COME ON ANDRE!!!

Jason said...

Bills at 94 pitches through 7.

MR.F said...

Does he come back out? With our bullpen?

Jason said...

I think he does come back. With a short leash.

Jason said...

Juuuuuusssst a bit outside!

Jason said...

Well then...

Jason said...

100

Jason said...

Of course Urine swings at the first pitch from the guy that can't find the strike zone.

Jason said...

He caught it.

Jason said...

There is some guy in the crowd getting picked trying to heckle with "you are still not very good!" Such a polite city.

Jason said...

Mitch Moreland HR in the case.

Jason said...

I guess Sax is really enjoying that grilled chicken dinner.

MR.F said...

What just happened?

Jason said...

Urine and Mattingly got kicked out. I guess Emo Juan Uribe has material for tomorrow.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Aw. I was enjoying the Jason Monologues.

Jason said...

You need Uribe's bat in the lineup. - Steve Lyons.


The hell you do! - Jason.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

You need Uribe's fat in the lineup. - Local Pittsburgh caterer

Jason said...

I wrote a companion piece to the Vagina Monologs called the Penis Apologies - Andy Bernard

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Oh, fuck.

MR.F said...

What?

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Sands. Barajas. PH.

BLERG.

Josh S. said...

Eff this. All that posturing doesn't mean crap if you don't win.

Cc: Bynum and Odom.

Jason said...

BLERG, indeed.

Jason said...

Kuo should just hit Overbay with the first pitch.

Jason said...

So close!

MR.F said...

Fuck!

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Revenge of the umpire.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Umpire strikes back.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Attack of the Umpires.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

The Phantom umpire.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Return of the Umpire.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

A new Umpire.

Jason said...

Ah, there is the racist Pittsburgh fans I remember! Starting a USA chant because the pitcher's name is Kuo.

Jason said...

Trey Hillman is having Kansas City flashbacks.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Ryan Doumit double badge!

(cries)

MR.F said...

Well, that's just great.

MR.F said...

(cries)

Jason said...

They're giving away James Loney GIDP practice jerseys?

Steve Sax said...

Way to let this game get away, boys

NicJ said...

Gotta clear stock on those Loney jerseys before they ship him off to Toronto.

Jason said...

Gibbons or Gwynn to PH?

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

At least the Celtics lost.

(cries)

Jason said...

Looks like we'll see both Gwynn and Gibbons as PHs this inning.

(cries)

Alex Cora said...

How many people think there is going to be a player only meeting today?

MR.F said...

The Celtics losing means the Heat won.

(cries)

Alex Cora said...

How many people think it going to do any good?

Jason said...

Gibbons started back to the dugout and Lopes had to call him back.

Jason said...

Maybe they should consider a coaches only meeting?

Alex Cora said...

I think Eric Collins just pulled a groin with that call at first.

Steve Sax said...

now would be a nice time for a HR, miles

Jason said...

Aaron Miles is not very good at baseball.

NicJ said...

Lousy Dodgers are lousy.

Alex Cora said...

The dodgers aren't very good at baseball.

Alex Cora said...

Seriously. The f'in pirates.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

This is no good.

Jason said...

We now have the answer to the trivia question: who did the Pirates beat to go above .500 the latest in a season since Barry Bonds left town?

Dusty Baker said...

(cries)

Steve Sax said...

post-game thread up

Steve Sax said...

jenga!