Saturday, May 21, 2011

Game 47 Thread: May 21 @ White Sox, 11a

Jon Garland (1-3, 3.55) vs. Mark Buehrle (3-3, 4.07).

As if the pressure of going against a guy who has a no-hitter AND a perfect game wasn't enough, Garland also has to deal with the pressure of pitching in the last game before the apocalypse. In fact, given this news, I'm guessing the whole Dodgers clubhouse is a mess: Matt Kemp is begging Rihanna to come back, Juan Uribe is eating like there's no tomorrow, and Vicente Padilla is rocking back and forth in the corner while sweating to death.

Actually, that may not be all that out of the ordinary. But a Dodgers win sure would be! (And, I might add, it would be a great way to go into the next eternal life.)

photo: Steve Sax for SoSG

(In the scenario where the apocalypse actually does not occur, PCS Season IV will pick up on May 26. If the apocalypse does happen, however, Loney Fan you are indeed the winner, and we'll just have to figure out to which circle you'd like your prize sent.)

74 comments:

Dusty Baker said...

Carroll 6
Castro 4
Ethier DH
Kemp 8
Barajas 2
Sands 7
Loney 3
Gibbons 9
Mitchell 5

Paul said...

I'll be smoking a cigar with a double whiskey on the American river when it is time.

Good luck friends.


If I don't make it to heaven look for me at a Giants bar where the Dodgers lose every night. AKA. Hell.

Steve Sax said...

No Urine no cry

Josh S. said...

(cries)

Josh S. said...

Now that the Playstation Network is back up, Jerry Sands has finally been added to my roster in The Show. Too bad he's just a generic create-a-player looking dude, though.

Josh S. said...

I guess he looks like that in real life too.

Pistol Pete Reiser said...

I always thought Sands looked like a young Thome.

He's pretty white bread, though, gotta admit that.

Pistol Pete Reiser said...

Hey, can we start calling Sands "white bread"? Damned near everyone else has got a nickname on the roster, shame to leave him out. Unless he's already got one that I missed.

Dusty Baker said...

White Bread is a good one, PPR. Let's go with it.

Steve Sax said...

He looks like Doogie Howser

Dusty Baker said...

Juan Uribe (lower abdominal strain) will undergo an MRI this morning.

Dusty Baker said...

On the sofa, Steve and Eric!


(cries)

Orel said...

Happy birthday, Dusty!

Dusty Baker said...

Cheers, Orel!

Dusty Baker said...

Per Tony Jackson:

"Sox lineup change. Carlos Quentin scratched. Move 6-7-8 guys up one spot, insert Brent Lillibridge in 8 hole playing RF"

Orel said...

It's a beautiful day for a Rapture
Or even a cataclysm or two

Dusty Baker said...

It is one gorgeous day, indeed. Sure wish we had Vinny to provide the soundtrack. I'd be one crackly AM radio listening on the patio mofo.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Juan Castro singles?

It really is the apocalypse!

Josh S. said...

Heh. Insert in the 8-hole.

Steve Sax said...

Happy Birthday, Dusty Baker!

Steve Sax said...

Kemp: In play, no out

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Fuck you, Alex Rios.

Fuck you, Aaron Miles.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

That's the Juan Pierre I know and loathe.

Steve Sax said...

One out double in the first, off of Garland.

Dusty, I hope you're already drinking.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Game over.

Dusty Baker said...

(looks around carefully) no sign of karina...

(expresses lack of optimism)

Steve Sax said...

konerko. hmm, that names sounds familiar. konerko....

Steve Sax said...

we are hopeless in chicago

Steve Sax said...

Wow, Omar Vizquel is still playing? Amazing.

Dusty Baker said...

Wow, Juan Castro is still playing? Amazing.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Still hate you Loney, but that's a good play.

Dusty Baker said...

No one covering first. Castro beats it out. How does this guy keep getting on base? He can't hit the ball four feet.

Dusty Baker said...

Moral of the story: only hit the ball four feet.

Dusty Baker said...

Is this Tribute to Juan Pierre Day or something? Weak popup after weak popup.

Dusty Baker said...

Keep throwing at them! Fuck em!

Dusty Baker said...

Rancho suckiendo!

Dusty Baker said...

Slappy McPopup Day!

Dusty Baker said...

Mother effer! Down 5-1 now. WSJ may need to re-visit their analysis and put us in another, worse column.

Dusty Baker said...

Rancho still ardiendo. And here comes Konerko to remind us that he's not a Dodger.

Dusty Baker said...

Great news! Tron entering the ga....

(cries Cries CRIES)

Dusty Baker said...

Two more runs in. 7-1 ChiSox.

Can the world just end already?

Dusty Baker said...

I'd rather just be watching Dos Equis commercials all afternoon instead of this fuckin tripe.

Dusty Baker said...

I should have played "P O P U P" in the lottery today.

Orel said...

Score tied 1-1. Leave computer. Come back, Dodgers losing 7-1. Completely unsurprised.

Dusty Baker said...

I wonder if Buehrle can throw at Lyons in the media booth?

Dusty Baker said...

DAMMIT, Orel, I was wanting to claim 45. (cries)

Steve Sax said...

Holy shit, I go grab in n out and now it's 7-1? Fuck.

Dusty Baker said...

Double-double up in dis bish, Sax?

Dusty Baker said...

Double-double also describes part of the last innings offensive onslaught by ChiSox.

Steve Sax said...

If the Dodgers come back from six down it will indeed be the apocalypse

Dusty Baker said...

I'm so mad I want to just punch SoSG Lasorda in the nads, repeatedly. Dusty angry!

Orel said...

But you did get #45, Dusty!

Dusty Baker said...

@Orel

Yeah, but it was with a regular post (filled with masterful insight, of course) and not a claim of the number. So it doesn't count, right?

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

54

Dusty Baker said...

White Bread goes Yard!

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Sands!

Pistol Pete Reiser said...

White bread strikes!

Steve Sax said...

James Loney badge (double) acquired!

(cries)

Steve Sax said...

I got a Loney badge

For an XBH no less

It's the apocalypse

Steve Sax said...

Here's a debate: Would we rather have Loney or Adam Dunn (.191, 4 HR, 20 RBI)?

Steve Sax said...

@Dusty 10:46a: Urine gets a lower abdominal strain each time he takes a dump

Dusty Baker said...

White Bread needs to be in the lineup every day. I hereby declare it. Great defense and athleticism. Disciplined plate appearances. Ability to hit for power. Let's let this kid age before our eyes.

Steve Sax said...

@Dusty 12:39p: double double, animal style!

Steve Sax said...

@Dusty 1:01p: With Blake, Furcal, Barajas, even Uribe--we're seeing a lot of age before our eyes.

Dusty Baker said...

You're going to have a lower abdominal strain soon, too, Saxy!

Steve Sax said...

At our rate of single-run innings, we should tie the score by the 15th inning (so long as ChiSox don't score again)

Steve Sax said...

Dusty, that double double had so much grease on it, I'm sure there will be no problem sliding through the intestinal tract

Paul said...

Are we in the spirit world yet?

Dusty Baker said...

About to go grill some fajitas and corn at the in-laws. We'll see how that turns out, intestinally speaking.

Dusty Baker said...

We are spirits in the material world. Paul.

Dusty Baker said...

Catch yall from RBN-land!

Josh S. said...

Cornholier on in relief. Watch him be fucking perfect from here out.

Josh S. said...

Fucker can't even mop up.

GO THE FUCK AWAY.

Pistol Pete Reiser said...

I'd trade Cormier and $4 for a bucket of warm monkey spunk. Straight up.