Jon Garland (1-2, 3.66) vs. Shaun Marcum (4-1, 2.72).
I don't know if Shaun Marcum is a horror fan, but tonight's matchup should evoke some chilling thoughts. Like an empty, crypt-like stadium on a Monday night (though SoSG Alex Cora and I will both be there, if you're interested in saying hi). Or the home team's lineup, chock-filled with Mendoza-level zombies. Or "ownership" that must feel a little like the undead, itself (or at the very least, cut off at the knees). In fact, only the heartiest of Dodger fans will want to watch this one.
Oh, and Shaun? You've got red on you.
196 comments:
Carroll 6
Miles 4
Ethier 9
Kemp 8
Uribe 5
Loney 3
Gibbons 7
Barajas 2
Garland 1
(cries)
Are you going to be there tomorrow night? I'm buying my ticket now.
BREAKING: I will be in the Ravine tomorrow night. (Not sure where yet...maybe field, maybe starting first base.)
I'm about to buy a ticket...should I get field level then, Josh, so I can taunt you a second time more easily?
I will be there tonight, as well as Wednesday.
...but definitely not Tuesday, so as to avoid the taunting.
*taunts Mr C from afar*
This is an interesting phenomenon: the shittier our team is, the more of us go to the games.
God freaking almight, I need an avatar change.
Heading out now so I have time to finish of a cauldron of gin and tonic beforehand.
Have a balthazar of gin for me, Mr C!
I just have this vision of MC sitting in his car, parked on the side street near Academy Road, downing a pint of gin from a paper bag.
Epale everyone! (wishing some fun for the ones going to the game)
Dusty, why don't you change your avatar, it's not like we're in a winning streak, don't you think? if everything gets better, you'd be the lucky charm :)
I will be at tomorrow's game...
in spirit. But not in corporeal reality.
@Karina
Well, I am magically delicious.
I will be a thousand miles from nowhere.
AC and I are here!
So is Dad, right in front of us!
The never-aging audio animatronic Jim Hill is on the field in front of us too
AC says the batting stance guy is here. He's wearing a shirt that reads "Counsell Wins Championships".
Drop in visit from Mr Customer!
Post every ten minutes, keeping the streak
Guy behind me is hocking a lugy with every sunflower seed shell. Dude, come on.
Uribe signing autographs for food right now
Looks like a cold night at the Ravine. What's with this weather?
Urine: will pee for food
Nancy Bea tribute ovation here. Her arms don't appear to be moving, and her smile is frozen. I think they've replaced her with a robot. Poor thing.
Urine pointing into the crowd before going into the dugout. I think he's placing his to-go order
@Dusty: it is fricking cold indeed.
National anthem singer Eric martsoff (sp?) has a flavor flav-sized wristwatch
Apparently he's from Days of our Lives.
Is that still on?
Not a bad anthem, btw
I know the lineup was posted earlier. But I'm listening to it announced now, and I'm sad.
EmoSteveSax
Ethier streak video playing here, I think Michael Eaves narrating
AC says Ethier is dreamy
get a room, AC!
Kemp is bouncing on the top step like a kid
Or maybe he's trying to stay warm
Excellent start!
(cries like a schoolgirl)
"Little bit on the cool side tonight," Vinny says understatedly.
Start throwing at people already!
that is a directive, spanky.
After that catch, AC now thinks James Loney is dreamy
Loney does something right for a change.
I like how the first mention of throwing at someone, Spanky immediately shows up.
There are so few people here tonight, I can get cell phone reception
I always liked Braun. Wish he could be our franchise player, since he's a Valley kid.
Plus, his mom makes beer.
I can't hate Braun.
@ Dusty
The fact that i showed up at the same time as that throwing at people comment is purely coincidental.Maybe.
Sax, would you say all the talk of the field level sale being a wild success was overblown?
I was at that game when Princess Fielder stole a base on us. Truly embarrassing.
Why can't Loney pop out like Fielder? Oh. nevermind
Oh yeah, beer status: Sammy Summer Ale.
You won't be mocking him when he becomes our starting 1B next year. Hopefully.
(cries)
I still haven't had a Sammy Summer yet this year. With the weather, they may need to re-issue the Winter Lager.
Shaun Marcum's pitches were crazy hard to hit in The Show.
#LightGamingWhiteGuy
Boooooooooo!
Drink status:Dodger line up very pale ale.
@Josh 7:19p: yeah, there are pockets of people in all field level sections, but it's not packed.
Top deck has 125-150 people, tops
Get it? "tops"?
"Top deck has 125-150 people, tops"
No need for redundancy, Sax.
Kemp's swings: Not. Even. Close.
We are back into the rut (to the extent we ever left it) of just having extremely undisciplined plate appearances. Work the count, boys, come on!
Urine just cracked two ribs swinging at that.
Then he ate them.
GOD DAMMIT!
Awesome catch there on Urine's shot. Wow.
Well that kinda sucks.
Loney is still god-awful
Nice work, Gibbons!
Gibbons has climbed the mountain! (Gus Johnson shout out)
Fuck yeah Jay! Oh shit the contact is out.
Great crowd reaction to Gibbons snagging that fly. Pick him up, guys - he took one for the team. Wow.
Gomez hbp to set up Braun for a 2-run HR
Did I miss something?
Hey AC, quit hogging the fries dude
Get your own fries a-hole. I bought them.
Hey sax whatcha drinking?
Garlic fries or regular, Sax/AC?
Can't pull for you tonight Moogie. Or at least in this AB
Sax. You watching this game?
AC: beer. Of course
Regular. The garlic ones looked too soggy.
Quit whoring the thread, you two.
Regular, Dusty
Gibbons, batting .083
Now batting sub-.083
Yeah, the garlic ones are way too soggy.
Sax. Pass the fries.
I was hoping that knock Gibbons took would magically turn him into a better hitter.
How many more till he can reach .042 in honor of Jackie?
Sharing fries? Are you guys out on a date?
This is game #42, BTW.
Reserve level garlic fries are superior to field level garlic fries.
They sure make a cute couple, Spanky.
Plus with the garlic fries, Sax gets gassy.
@Dusty: you're talking like you're a lucky charm or something
Kershaw better ask for DNA test on that bobblehead. It looks just like Garland.
Shaun Marcum's no-hitter is still alive through three
@Dusty, the garlic fries are about as soggy as our lineup
I can't imagine what a sassy, gassy Sax may be like. *shivers*
Garlic Fries are for Giants fans!
cc: Josh
Cnote didn't even go out to see if he was ok. Guess he didn't get mccourts check yet.
At first I thought the trainer had some cool ghetto nickname that I didn't know about.
Timmeh stank it up tonight.
Because he still hasn't washed his hair, presumably.
Booooooooo!
Looks pretty cold. Pretty sure I saw Mr. C cuddling with a Polar Bear.
The Gibbons slo-mo might be the best thing to come out of this season.
Surprised he doesn't look like Carroll after that face smash.
Wow! Did we just execute a bunt successfully?
@ Josh
What's with the Adam Carolla avi?
Jamey Carroll and Aaron Miles are the new Rafael Furcal and Juan Pierre.
Too bad we're still paying for Furcal and Pierre.
We have as many runs as our opponent!
The first Dodger run i've seen scored since Friday.
(cries)
Fuck me in the armpit. Loney must sit.
I'm sick of Loney.
Gibbons should have caught that ball with his left nostril.
Date status: Saxy and A.C. are sharing a Dodger Dog, 101 Dalmatian styles.
Gibbons is waxing!
GIBBONS' CONTACTS ARE THE FUTURE OF THIS ORGANIZATION!
Come on Rod!
I feel more offensively unrequited than I did on prom night.
Garland needs to get that RBI that was erased last week.
Barajas is more on-and-off than Scrubs.
Fist, meet wall.
that blew.
Wait a minute, if he's your coach, then who's my copilot?
Gibbons got to second without anyone grounding out or bunting him over?
WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?!
@Czar
Maybe one of the other people in that trinity thingy?
He's not doing horribly or anything, but was there a compelling reason for Garland to bump Kuroda and pitch again today? If he had been chased after two innings on Thursday, he wouldn't be pitching again today.
Classic. Couldn't get the run in last inning then give up the lead on the next. shit
Game over.
URINE!
Donnie said he wanted to get Hiro some extra rest after a 113-pitch effort.
Ah, so it was for Hiro, not Garland. Gotcha.
Hiro always seems to start games I go to.
Hackers gonna hack.
Fire up the Nancy Bea audioanimatronic!
Weird: I just saw four guys come up to the McCourt box seats, show their tickets, and then unseat two or three people who were sitting there.
Is McCourt timesharing his seats for partial game sessions?
Is he that desperate for cash?
Their pitcher looks like he's one season removed from hanging out drinking Bud Light Limes on the back of a pickup out in a field on a Saturday night.
@Sax: Bud's guests unseated Frank's.
I would seriously consider booing if I were there. This is fucking pathetic.
By my count, that's 0-for-9 with RISP
Dioner, a .176 batter, for a PH. Good thinking, Donnie!
FREE AJ ELLIS!!!
Your attention please. Now sucking: the Dodgers offense.
Free Garret Anderson!
You know the rule about not using your backup catcher, in case he gets hurt? I think Donnie WANTS that to happen to Dioner.
Dinner should not be playing at the major league level.
Everyone cheer up: Yankmes lost again. 6 in a row.
35,000 with the $30 ticket promotion?
Yikes.
63% less Scooby Dooing when Sax and AC are both at the game.
@DB, are the dodgers still considered major league level?
(cries)
No, Nic, they're not. You have a great point.
Beard Mode sighting.
I'm going to just come right out and say it: This Dodger team is worse than David E. Kelly's Wonder Woman pilot.
Stadium rockin' the Deee-lite between innings. Amazing how that song hasn't aged.
Jeez, IBB to Fielder? With none out?
The groove is most definitely in the house, Sax.
You can't say Guerrier without saying "rear."
Time for El Berto.
Just saw that "team photo" gag, Marla. Nice!
Hey hey hey! It's phat Elbert!
And after one batter, Donnie yanks him.
If Yuniesky Betancourt were playing for us, he'd be the fifth-best hitter on the team.
At .226.
What team photo gag?
We can still win?
We can still win! OMG!
@Sax
Czar's tumblr page has it.
http://marlasportsczar.tumblr.com/
Wash yer beard, Matteh!
I think I just saw Mr. C get premptively tazed.
Crowd seems into it.
Axford is the closer and mascot.
It's all up to Loney.
(cries)
Now time for one of those clutch Loney homeruns.
Loney will hit one out. Bank on it.
Carlos Gomez is annoying.
(cries like a schoolgirl)
He did not hit one out. I hope none of you banked on it.
I swear that was James hitting it on the sweat spot. He doesn't have any pop.
I think Dodger thoughts is having an emotional breakdown.
Sweet spot but sweat spot works.
I'm out this bitch.
*throws new beer glass to the floor OG styles*
Barajas stole my slow pitch softball swing
How I Met Your Mother finale was much more satisfying.
@Spank
Did you ever take the price tags off that glass before you broke it OG style?
Too sad even to take 200.
*pours some out for tased Mr. C*
DAMMIT!
(cries)
I think Mr C tased himself to put himself out of his own misery.
Uh oh they have the tarp on the field. That explains the Mr. C tasing
^ Fo' Sho'
@ Dusty
Taggers still on
"Even though we suck, I still love us."
-My sister in law
Great we are lovable at sucking. The west coast Cubs.
I agree with her, Dusty.
Fell asleep and woke up thinking in the game when it was already finished.
*sighs*
What'd I miss? PGT up.
Just got home. Let's just say I am pained.
But going back tomorrow.
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