Clayton Kershaw (5-3, 2.75) vs. Matt Cain, (3-2, 3.22).
The second-place Giants drop by Dodger Stadium for a quick two-game jaunt before interleague play starts this weekend. The Dodgers will miss Tim Lincecum, who actually struggled in his last start, against the Rockies. They do get Matt Cain, who, having overcome his inability to beat the Dodgers last year, has beat them three times since. But the Dodgers counter with last night's bobbleboy Kershaw, who, if he can get any kind of run support (how about another dinger, Matt Kemp? Andre?), can retake the team lead in wins at six. Not that wins mean anything, except to agents trying to strike long-term deals for their pitcher clients.
340 comments:
1 – 200 of 340 Newer› Newest»Carroll 6
Miles 4
Ethier 9
Kemp 8
Uribe 5
Loney 3
Gibbons 7
Barajas 2
Kershaw 1
The numbers aren't their positions, they're how many each will leave on base.
did you know JaYson Werth is batting .243? Yeech.
I just opted out of all the banner ad targeting companies' databases.
Now I'm getting SoSG banner ads for "Just My Size" womens clothing, however.
Woohoo! Still batting 6th. You'll see, he'll go 4 for 4 tonight. You'll all see!
Jose Reyes (NYM, single) makes badge #103 in Sax's case
@LF
I like the name change.
Dreamer.
The Dodgers are losing because SoSG Sax is distracted. Sax is distracted by ads.
We can't say which ads exactly and Sax won't elaborate.
As a "journalist" imitating Simers' "style," I have to ask myself, "What is Sax's problem with banner ads?"
Perhaps, like me, he is angry that the ads consume his mobile broadband bandwidth allocation. Or perhaps he is distracted by the animated GIFs.
Or does the problem spring from the ads for royal wedding souvenirs?
"I have no idea," said SoSG Lasorda.
DB then bashed SoSG Lasorda over the head with Louisville Slugger before running off laughing like a mad man. I sensed I was on the right track.
As for tonight's game, we can expect a few hits and maybe a few runs. After that, the Dodgers will get their turn to bat in the bottom half of the inning.
At that point, I'll probably be distracted, too.
Jason: you need to reference the grocery store bagger turned son in law, if you want to hit the big leagues of Simerzation
Fuck Page 2.
@Jason - I'm posting that on my Tumblr, if you don't mind.
There are over 1,000 signatures on the Please fire T.J. Simmers petition.
Obviously, the Parking Lot Attendant is behind it.
Or maybe it is the Screaming Meanie. No, it has to be her P.R. people.
Too bad the P.R. staff can't hit. I could use a good quote from an actual hitter in one of the 6 though 8 slots in the batting order.
(shoots self in head)
(bashes SoSG Lasorda over the dead)
Die, Lasorda! DieDieDIE!
Have at it, Czar.
I'm wearing out the Enter key on my keyboard.
Maybe that is the key to fixing Simers, steal his enter key.
Or maybe we should just steal his entire keyboard.
Done and done.
Wow, the captain is burning bridges on twitter.
CarGo (COL, double) and J-Roll (PHI, SB) badges acquired
@NicJ, what captain?
KAJ.
Kershaw, no hitter, book it.
Wait I think I just jinxed it. Dammit!
hateHateHATE
Through two innings: Cain at 34 pitches, Kershaw at 18
Epale everyone!
I'm ready to hate!
KAJ?
Epale, Karina!
Kareem
The Red Sox-Tigers game is finally over so I can watch the game on TV! *crossing fingers I get Vin*
yo!
Bean Rowand!
I got home just in time to hear Vin talking about Cody Ross and his childhood dream of becoming a rodeo clown.
What a mofo.
why do I always get the Giants broadcast?
why do I get conflicting edits?
T3: men at the corners with two out
oh. i haven't seen his twitter feed. what is kareem angry about>?
Bulls tie it up with 7:13 left in the 4th.
c'mon Kershaw, you can beat'em!
@kaj33 Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
"Rumor has it that I will be getting a statue. A caveat for all my fans-don't hold your breath. Lakers don't care about me. #KAJ33"
Come on Kid.Hang tough
shit, coming apart here for kershaw. three straight singles, starting with Cain.
Game over.
Nooooo! Another streak dies.
C'mon Kid. Kick Buster's ass.
We're already way too far behind and not enough innings left to catch up.
#AntiKarina
K on Oyster Pubes to end it!
game is just 1-0 on the 3rd, what are you talking about? ;)
Bye Bye,pubester.
going to the 13th in Baltimore, NYY 1 BAL 1
Texas just scored a go-ahead run in the top of the 9th, 3-2 in KC
Am I the only asshole watching on gameday?
Almost forgot: On the sofa, Vinny!
Oh, look, dollar Dodger Dog day coming up. Bet they'll also offer lowered-priced beer, too.....oh, wait.
Boooooooooooo!
Spank, I'm watching on MLB's mobile site on my phone.
Pat Burrell is annoying.
I hate Pat Burrell.
@ Josh
Is that a telecast or is it cartoons like what I am being subjected to.
(cries)
Come on Kid. Settle yourself down.
I fucking HATE the Gnats. Bean this MOFO!!
Taj Gibson, my man!
Shit.
We all need to get the HATE flowing and block this run of gnat juju!
I have hate alright. But it's for the Dodgers.
what's going on? boooooooo (to the Giants)
hateHateHATE!!!
I blame Paul.
What a whiner DeRosa is.
Singles. Why did it have to be singles?
Chant with me:
HATE
HATE
HATE
HATE
HATE
HATE
HATE
HATE
HATE
HATE
LeBron just took over.
Guess Clayton doesn't have it tonight.
Um...what the fuck is going on?
strike out the pitcher, kid!
...which he did!
now, a good ol' GIDP, please?
@Spank: Just descriptions, no cartoons.
blerg
this is quickly not turning out to be a good outing
i'm too disgusted to blerg
only eight batters there in the fourth. At least they didn't bat around.
(cries)
We are a terrible team!
SF 4 7 0
LA 0 0 0
through 3.5 innings
I gotta break out the Motley Crue to put out this vibe.
i am not very excited to hear that the miami heat tied the series tonight.
10 straight retired for Cain.
Cain is clearly going to pitch a no-hitter here.
BTW, my last comment was my positive comment for the night.
cc: Karina
No hits for the Dodgers yet.
Come on team! Kick some Cain ass!!
11 straight outs for Cain. Almost halfway to a no-hitter.
The Dodgers are too busy rubbing aloe on their own asses to kick someone else's.
Have no fear, Delino is here. How you people doing?
Booooooooooooooo!
NO-HITTER FOR MATT CAIN THROUGH FOUR
Matt Cain is awesome, he's clearly going to pitch a no-hitter
Man vs Food is doing a wings challenge. 50 Wings in 30 minutes
I am positive we suck.
Delino II just collapsed in a heap at the thought of going to bed.
@Josh S: Until we get to a new comment page, i keep looking at your first comment and laugh about how FEW are actually LOB
Carroll 0
Miles 0
Ethier 0
Kemp 0
etc.
Saxy - hows' your new bobblehead?
Hooray,Kershaw! You got the first out. mutt
At least this performance won't further erode our RISP woes
No-hitter? He actually has a perfect game! A PERFECT GAME!
@DD: bobbling, thank you very much!
Gotta post pix. It was a sweet night at the Stadium last night, despite the rain.
Vin drops the Toulouse-Lautrec reference!
It's over. Food beat man. Food beat man.
Orel, did you say that Cain has a PERFECT GAME? I didn't hear you! Can you please speak up?
1-2-3 inning for minotaur
take that, giants!
(cries)
going to the middle of the 14th in Baltimore
bases juiced, one out, bottom 10 in KC
Perfect game over!
No-hitter over!
Shutout over!
OH NO! THE PERFECT GAME IS SPOILED!
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! who's your Bison?
TAKE THAT TO THE BANK CAIN
Wow... we're witnessing a PERFECT GAME IN THE MAKING. ONLY 12 MORE OUTS.
Fuck! I am never calling a no hitter again. My prognosticating Powers can only predict bad things.
Hey Bison!
Woohoo! Kemp! Bright spot!
GO SUCK ON SOME NOVA-CAIN
I dared look at Loney's spray chart on gameday.
(cries)
I turned the game on... and seconds later BOOM. I am the black cloud of happiness
i'm only listening to the game...that must have been a bomb as even Charley got the HR call right
hey delino we've got at least 15 more outs my friend
I love watching Mariano...
And love watching him blow saves...
Go Orioles
(unless you're already counting loney as automatic outs)
ONLY SEVEN MORE OUTS
Uribe on. King popout up.
Uribe gets four balls and plods over to first base
Loney takes one for the team!
Cain's cooked.
Put in Abel
booooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Loney 2-run HR here, I'm calling it
who's with me?
James got a hit!
Loney would rather be HBP than have to deal with the pressure of living up to my prediction
ONLY 49 MORE OUTS
Fuck Yeah Loney!!!!!!!!!!!
He hit Loney? Cain does know Loney sucks, right?
@Paul: uh, that's not a hit. that's hit.
@Delino, this is why we don't play poker together anymore. You keep thinking two pair beats a straight flush
Getting hit by a pitch kept my little league OBP at .300
Gibbons here as the tying run
(cries)
Yeah Loney! That counts! That counts!
Rangers and O's both can't do it in their respective games. NYY-BAL to the 15th, TEX-KC to the 11th
This Cain I can get behind
RANCHO RANCHO
I don't know what happened on that Gibbons foul ball behind the plate, but Monday and Steiner are describing a scene from Ringling Bros
How much you want to bet Barajas swings at the first pitch?
Three more walks! Three more walks!
RANCHO DON'TFUCKTHISUPIENDO
Got him on the ropes.Finish this fucker!
Toldja!
RANCHO ARDIENDO!
@Delino: BOOGER
speaking of which we haven't seen booger around these parts much lately.
Barajas you suck.
orel... can i still take your bet?
Rod K right here, who's with me
waaaaaaahhhhh
thanks for participating, Barajas...
wow, kershaw already pulled. unbelievable.
Oh good, Juan Castro is up.
Fuck mang
OHMYFUCKINGGOD HE'S BRINGING IN CASTRO WE'RE FUCKED
Juan Castro!!!!! This is as exciting as when Manny pinch hit!
*pukes*
Castro, you suck.
Mattingly must have money on this game
against the Dodgers
reverse alchemy. turning a golden opportunity into poop
DON MATTINGLY, YOU SUCK
That was expected.
bases loaded, none out, and we're going to strand 'em all
Rancho Tardiendo.
way to let Cain off the hook, you idiot mattingly
go get em cheshire cat
nice at bat, castro
go back to havana
Jamey with the bases loaded. It's a trap!!!
Ackbar is up.
It's a trap!
What a suckfest.
GODDAMMIT
I hate our offense :(
Rancho Ardiendo, with no outs, after a HR and they couldn't score.
Carroll's wide eyes must get distracted when men are on the bases.
Oh and fuck!!!!
Sax - Great minds think alike!
We are a terrible team!
gambling cures cancer?
Mattingly, this is so on you. Now who are you gonna throw out there? Hawksworth? Broxton? James MacDonald?
idiot.
Though to be fair, whoever Mattingly put in there probably would have failed.
@ Marla
No. A terrible team is better.
Damn, you got me there, Spank.
The Dodgers will announce a special bobblehead for Castro's epic pinch fly ball.
kershaw is going to have to settle for a second tier kardashian tonight
a little more rage here than im used to. what has mccourt done to us?
Soooooo back to 80s cartoons?
Fuck Mattingly.He's a Yank-me.
Kinda digging new Elbert. Of course, Miles gets in the way.
200?
Silverhawks: Cheap Thundercats knockoff or legitimately great cartoon? Discuss.
You must show your work.
Go Bots!
Popped over to my local Mexican restaurant to eat and watch (not good for digestion!). When we had bases loaded I said something about rancho ardiendo. The wait staff next to me thought about it a minute and said yeah, full house around the bases. Didn't exactly have the proper cultural translation but did get me some weird looks among the rest of the wait staff.
It's time for head...
...games.
Answer sent!
Mr LA SC: gimme dat dere heatvision. I need to burn me up some shit here.
I'm so mad, I'm running around my house shirtless, with a beer in my arm stretched toward the heavens, screaming
BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL
(ok, maybe not.)
M.A.S.K.
http://youtu.be/RQdgbs0IUDg
Yanks just went up 4-1, with three in the 15th, so that's depressing
texas up 5-3 in the 11th
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