Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Game 44 Thread: May 18 vs. Giants, 7p

Clayton Kershaw (5-3, 2.75) vs. Matt Cain, (3-2, 3.22).

The second-place Giants drop by Dodger Stadium for a quick two-game jaunt before interleague play starts this weekend. The Dodgers will miss Tim Lincecum, who actually struggled in his last start, against the Rockies. They do get Matt Cain, who, having overcome his inability to beat the Dodgers last year, has beat them three times since. But the Dodgers counter with last night's bobbleboy Kershaw, who, if he can get any kind of run support (how about another dinger, Matt Kemp? Andre?), can retake the team lead in wins at six. Not that wins mean anything, except to agents trying to strike long-term deals for their pitcher clients.

357 comments:

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Josh S. said...

Carroll 6
Miles 4
Ethier 9
Kemp 8
Uribe 5
Loney 3
Gibbons 7
Barajas 2
Kershaw 1

The numbers aren't their positions, they're how many each will leave on base.

Steve Sax said...

did you know JaYson Werth is batting .243? Yeech.

Steve Sax said...

I just opted out of all the banner ad targeting companies' databases.

Now I'm getting SoSG banner ads for "Just My Size" womens clothing, however.

LoneLy Fan said...

Woohoo! Still batting 6th. You'll see, he'll go 4 for 4 tonight. You'll all see!

Steve Sax said...

Jose Reyes (NYM, single) makes badge #103 in Sax's case

Neeebs said...

@LF

I like the name change.

Dreamer.

Jason said...

The Dodgers are losing because SoSG Sax is distracted. Sax is distracted by ads.

We can't say which ads exactly and Sax won't elaborate.

As a "journalist" imitating Simers' "style," I have to ask myself, "What is Sax's problem with banner ads?"

Perhaps, like me, he is angry that the ads consume his mobile broadband bandwidth allocation. Or perhaps he is distracted by the animated GIFs.

Or does the problem spring from the ads for royal wedding souvenirs?

"I have no idea," said SoSG Lasorda.

DB then bashed SoSG Lasorda over the head with Louisville Slugger before running off laughing like a mad man. I sensed I was on the right track.

As for tonight's game, we can expect a few hits and maybe a few runs. After that, the Dodgers will get their turn to bat in the bottom half of the inning.

At that point, I'll probably be distracted, too.

Steve Sax said...

Jason: you need to reference the grocery store bagger turned son in law, if you want to hit the big leagues of Simerzation

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Fuck Page 2.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

@Jason - I'm posting that on my Tumblr, if you don't mind.

Jason said...

There are over 1,000 signatures on the Please fire T.J. Simmers petition.

Obviously, the Parking Lot Attendant is behind it.

Or maybe it is the Screaming Meanie. No, it has to be her P.R. people.

Too bad the P.R. staff can't hit. I could use a good quote from an actual hitter in one of the 6 though 8 slots in the batting order.

(shoots self in head)

Dusty Baker said...

(bashes SoSG Lasorda over the dead)

Die, Lasorda! DieDieDIE!

Jason said...

Have at it, Czar.

I'm wearing out the Enter key on my keyboard.

Maybe that is the key to fixing Simers, steal his enter key.

Or maybe we should just steal his entire keyboard.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Done and done.

NicJ said...

Wow, the captain is burning bridges on twitter.

Steve Sax said...

CarGo (COL, double) and J-Roll (PHI, SB) badges acquired

Steve Sax said...

@NicJ, what captain?

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

KAJ.

Paul said...

Kershaw, no hitter, book it.

Paul said...

Wait I think I just jinxed it. Dammit!

Spank said...

hateHateHATE

Steve Sax said...

Through two innings: Cain at 34 pitches, Kershaw at 18

karina said...

Epale everyone!

I'm ready to hate!

Steve Sax said...

KAJ?

Orel said...

Epale, Karina!

Orel said...

Kareem

karina said...

The Red Sox-Tigers game is finally over so I can watch the game on TV! *crossing fingers I get Vin*

Spank said...

yo!

Spank said...

Bean Rowand!

karen said...

I got home just in time to hear Vin talking about Cody Ross and his childhood dream of becoming a rodeo clown.

What a mofo.

karina said...

why do I always get the Giants broadcast?

why do I get conflicting edits?

Steve Sax said...

T3: men at the corners with two out

Steve Sax said...

oh. i haven't seen his twitter feed. what is kareem angry about>?

Orel said...

Bulls tie it up with 7:13 left in the 4th.

karina said...

c'mon Kershaw, you can beat'em!

Orel said...

@kaj33 Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
"Rumor has it that I will be getting a statue. A caveat for all my fans-don't hold your breath. Lakers don't care about me. #KAJ33"

Spank said...

Come on Kid.Hang tough

Steve Sax said...

shit, coming apart here for kershaw. three straight singles, starting with Cain.

NicJ said...

Game over.

Josh S. said...

Nooooo! Another streak dies.

karen said...

C'mon Kid. Kick Buster's ass.

Dusty Baker said...

We're already way too far behind and not enough innings left to catch up.

#AntiKarina

Steve Sax said...

K on Oyster Pubes to end it!

karina said...

game is just 1-0 on the 3rd, what are you talking about? ;)

Spank said...

Bye Bye,pubester.

Steve Sax said...

going to the 13th in Baltimore, NYY 1 BAL 1

Texas just scored a go-ahead run in the top of the 9th, 3-2 in KC

Spank said...

Am I the only asshole watching on gameday?

Dusty Baker said...

Almost forgot: On the sofa, Vinny!

Dusty Baker said...

Oh, look, dollar Dodger Dog day coming up. Bet they'll also offer lowered-priced beer, too.....oh, wait.

Spank said...

Boooooooooooo!

Josh S. said...

Spank, I'm watching on MLB's mobile site on my phone.

karina said...

Pat Burrell is annoying.

karen said...

I hate Pat Burrell.

Spank said...

@ Josh

Is that a telecast or is it cartoons like what I am being subjected to.

(cries)

karen said...

Come on Kid. Settle yourself down.

Spank said...

I fucking HATE the Gnats. Bean this MOFO!!

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Taj Gibson, my man!

Spank said...

Shit.

karen said...

We all need to get the HATE flowing and block this run of gnat juju!

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

I have hate alright. But it's for the Dodgers.

karina said...

what's going on? boooooooo (to the Giants)

Spank said...

Fuck man. And nothing but singles.

karen said...

hateHateHATE!!!

LoneLy Fan said...

I blame Paul.

karen said...

What a whiner DeRosa is.

Dusty Baker said...

Singles. Why did it have to be singles?

Spank said...

Chant with me:

HATE
HATE
HATE
HATE
HATE
HATE
HATE
HATE
HATE
HATE

Orel said...

LeBron just took over.

Orel said...

Guess Clayton doesn't have it tonight.

Josh S. said...

Um...what the fuck is going on?

Spank said...

unfuckingbelievable

karina said...

strike out the pitcher, kid!

karina said...

...which he did!

karina said...

now, a good ol' GIDP, please?

Josh S. said...

@Spank: Just descriptions, no cartoons.

karina said...

blerg

Steve Sax said...

this is quickly not turning out to be a good outing

Steve Sax said...

i'm too disgusted to blerg

Steve Sax said...

only eight batters there in the fourth. At least they didn't bat around.

(cries)

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

We are a terrible team!

Steve Sax said...

SF 4 7 0
LA 0 0 0

through 3.5 innings

Spank said...

I gotta break out the Motley Crue to put out this vibe.

Steve Sax said...

i am not very excited to hear that the miami heat tied the series tonight.

Steve Sax said...

10 straight retired for Cain.

Cain is clearly going to pitch a no-hitter here.

Dusty Baker said...

(fucks self in armpit)

(cries)

Dusty Baker said...

BTW, my last comment was my positive comment for the night.

cc: Karina

karen said...

No hits for the Dodgers yet.

Come on team! Kick some Cain ass!!

Steve Sax said...

11 straight outs for Cain. Almost halfway to a no-hitter.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

The Dodgers are too busy rubbing aloe on their own asses to kick someone else's.

DelinO said...

Have no fear, Delino is here. How you people doing?

Spank said...

Booooooooooooooo!

Steve Sax said...

NO-HITTER FOR MATT CAIN THROUGH FOUR

Steve Sax said...

Matt Cain is awesome, he's clearly going to pitch a no-hitter

DelinO said...

Man vs Food is doing a wings challenge. 50 Wings in 30 minutes

Josh S. said...

I am positive we suck.

DelinO said...

Delino II just collapsed in a heap at the thought of going to bed.

Steve Sax said...

@Josh S: Until we get to a new comment page, i keep looking at your first comment and laugh about how FEW are actually LOB

Carroll 0
Miles 0
Ethier 0
Kemp 0
etc.

DelinO said...

Saxy - hows' your new bobblehead?

Spank said...

Hooray,Kershaw! You got the first out. mutt

Spank said...

100

Steve Sax said...

At least this performance won't further erode our RISP woes

Orel said...

No-hitter? He actually has a perfect game! A PERFECT GAME!

Steve Sax said...

@DD: bobbling, thank you very much!

Gotta post pix. It was a sweet night at the Stadium last night, despite the rain.

Orel said...

Vin drops the Toulouse-Lautrec reference!

DelinO said...

It's over. Food beat man. Food beat man.

Steve Sax said...

Orel, did you say that Cain has a PERFECT GAME? I didn't hear you! Can you please speak up?

Steve Sax said...

1-2-3 inning for minotaur

take that, giants!

(cries)

Steve Sax said...

going to the middle of the 14th in Baltimore

Steve Sax said...

bases juiced, one out, bottom 10 in KC

Orel said...

Perfect game over!
No-hitter over!
Shutout over!

Steve Sax said...

OH NO! THE PERFECT GAME IS SPOILED!

karina said...

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! who's your Bison?

Steve Sax said...

TAKE THAT TO THE BANK CAIN

DelinO said...

Wow... we're witnessing a PERFECT GAME IN THE MAKING. ONLY 12 MORE OUTS.

Paul said...

Fuck! I am never calling a no hitter again. My prognosticating Powers can only predict bad things.


Hey Bison!

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Woohoo! Kemp! Bright spot!

Steve Sax said...

GO SUCK ON SOME NOVA-CAIN

Spank said...

I dared look at Loney's spray chart on gameday.

(cries)

DelinO said...

I turned the game on... and seconds later BOOM. I am the black cloud of happiness

Steve Sax said...

i'm only listening to the game...that must have been a bomb as even Charley got the HR call right

Steve Sax said...

hey delino we've got at least 15 more outs my friend

DelinO said...

I love watching Mariano...
And love watching him blow saves...
Go Orioles

Steve Sax said...

(unless you're already counting loney as automatic outs)

DelinO said...

ONLY SEVEN MORE OUTS

Paul said...

Uribe on. King popout up.

Steve Sax said...

Uribe gets four balls and plods over to first base

Orel said...

Loney takes one for the team!

DelinO said...

Cain's cooked.
Put in Abel

karina said...

booooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Steve Sax said...

Loney 2-run HR here, I'm calling it

who's with me?

Paul said...

James got a hit!

Steve Sax said...

Loney would rather be HBP than have to deal with the pressure of living up to my prediction

DelinO said...

ONLY 49 MORE OUTS

Spank said...

Fuck Yeah Loney!!!!!!!!!!!

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

He hit Loney? Cain does know Loney sucks, right?

Steve Sax said...

@Paul: uh, that's not a hit. that's hit.

Steve Sax said...

@Delino, this is why we don't play poker together anymore. You keep thinking two pair beats a straight flush

DelinO said...

Getting hit by a pitch kept my little league OBP at .300

Steve Sax said...

Gibbons here as the tying run

(cries)

LoneLy Fan said...

Yeah Loney! That counts! That counts!

DelinO said...

"What the fuck is a frush" (Name it)

Steve Sax said...

Rangers and O's both can't do it in their respective games. NYY-BAL to the 15th, TEX-KC to the 11th

DelinO said...

This Cain I can get behind

Orel said...

RANCHO RANCHO

Steve Sax said...

I don't know what happened on that Gibbons foul ball behind the plate, but Monday and Steiner are describing a scene from Ringling Bros

Orel said...

How much you want to bet Barajas swings at the first pitch?

Paul said...

Three more walks! Three more walks!

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

RANCHO DON'TFUCKTHISUPIENDO

Spank said...

Got him on the ropes.Finish this fucker!

Orel said...

Toldja!

karina said...

RANCHO ARDIENDO!

Steve Sax said...

@Delino: BOOGER

Steve Sax said...

speaking of which we haven't seen booger around these parts much lately.

Orel said...

Barajas, you suck.

Paul said...

Barajas you suck.

DelinO said...

orel... can i still take your bet?

Steve Sax said...

Rod K right here, who's with me

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

You suck, Barajas.

DelinO said...

waaaaaaahhhhh

karina said...

thanks for participating, Barajas...

Steve Sax said...

wow, kershaw already pulled. unbelievable.

Orel said...

Oh good, Juan Castro is up.

Spank said...

Fuck mang

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

OHMYFUCKINGGOD HE'S BRINGING IN CASTRO WE'RE FUCKED

Paul said...

Juan Castro!!!!! This is as exciting as when Manny pinch hit!

*pukes*

Steve Sax said...

juan fucking castro? what are you thinking?

Orel said...

Castro, you suck.

Steve Sax said...

Mattingly must have money on this game

against the Dodgers

DelinO said...

reverse alchemy. turning a golden opportunity into poop

Steve Sax said...

DON MATTINGLY, YOU SUCK

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

That was expected.

Steve Sax said...

bases loaded, none out, and we're going to strand 'em all

Josh S. said...

Rancho Tardiendo.

Steve Sax said...

way to let Cain off the hook, you idiot mattingly

DelinO said...

go get em cheshire cat

Steve Sax said...

nice at bat, castro

go back to havana

LoneLy Fan said...

Jamey with the bases loaded. It's a trap!!!

Orel said...

EVERYBODY SUCKS

Steve Sax said...

Ackbar is up.

It's a trap!

Spank said...

Fuck you Mattingly. Stupid idiot. Bringing in Castro. Might as well throw in throw in the towel and call it a day.

Steve Sax said...

fuck, loney fan sniped my ass

karen said...

What a suckfest.

Steve Sax said...

GODDAMMIT

karina said...

I hate our offense :(

Rancho Ardiendo, with no outs, after a HR and they couldn't score.

Paul said...

Carroll's wide eyes must get distracted when men are on the bases.


Oh and fuck!!!!

LoneLy Fan said...

Sax - Great minds think alike!

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

We are a terrible team!

DelinO said...

gambling cures cancer?

Steve Sax said...

Mattingly, this is so on you. Now who are you gonna throw out there? Hawksworth? Broxton? James MacDonald?

idiot.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Though to be fair, whoever Mattingly put in there probably would have failed.

Spank said...

@ Marla

No. A terrible team is better.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Damn, you got me there, Spank.

Paul said...

The Dodgers will announce a special bobblehead for Castro's epic pinch fly ball.

DelinO said...

kershaw is going to have to settle for a second tier kardashian tonight

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

Yes, this is all Donnie's fault. He's the one who got an infield fly out. He's the one who grounded out to end the inning. He's the one who gave up seven hits in two innings of work. Fuck you, Mattingly, you omnipresent bastard.

DelinO said...

a little more rage here than im used to. what has mccourt done to us?

Paul said...

Soooooo back to 80s cartoons?

Spank said...

Fuck Mattingly.He's a Yank-me.

Josh S. said...

Kinda digging new Elbert. Of course, Miles gets in the way.

Mr. LA Sports Czar said...

200?

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